Chapter 22. Youth Mentoring Programs | Community Tool Box

 

One-on-one guidance and learning, or mentoring, is one of the oldest forms of teaching and support. Parents, caregivers, grandparents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, community members, and others may all serve as mentors at different points in our lives.

Mentoring programs are designed to create supportive relationships in which participants can receive encouragement, guidance, opportunities, and access to knowledge or experiences that matter to them. This introductory section offers a general discussion of the purpose of mentoring programs and some of the benefits they may provide. Reflection questions can help you decide whether mentoring is an appropriate strategy for your setting, and an overview of the remaining sections in the chapter is also provided.

What is a mentoring program?

Mentoring or partnership programs connect people who have particular knowledge, skills, experiences, or community connections with people who want to learn, grow, explore opportunities, or work toward personal, educational, or professional goals. Mentors and mentees build relationships based on mutual respect, communication, learning, and support. A strong mentoring program can help expand access to opportunities, strengthen relationships, and reduce barriers that may limit people's ability to pursue their goals.

Why should you set up a mentor or partnership program?

Mentoring programs can offer benefits for both mentors and mentees. The outcomes of any program will depend on the quality of the relationships, the structure of the program, the people involved, and the resources and support available.

• Among young people participating in strong mentoring relationships, possible benefits may include:
  • Greater confidence and sense of self-worth
  • Greater comfort building relationships with people from different racial, ethnic, cultural, or community backgrounds
  • Stronger relationships with supportive adults
  • Greater confidence and information when exploring education, career, and life choices
• Mentoring programs may support school engagement and attendance when those goals are relevant to the young person and the program
• Supportive relationships with adults outside the immediate family can be valuable for children and young people, particularly those navigating significant stress, barriers, or adversity
• Youth mentoring programs can connect young people with adults, organizations, experiences, and opportunities that may not otherwise be readily available, while giving community members meaningful ways to invest in young people's strengths and goals
• Mentoring programs can create new opportunities for learning and understanding for both mentors and mentees
• Mentoring can provide a structured way for people to share useful knowledge, skills, experiences, and connections
• Sharing knowledge and opportunities across generations and community networks can strengthen individual and community capacity
• Mentors can develop meaningful relationships, strengthen their own communication and leadership skills, and learn from the perspectives and experiences of mentees

Good reasons for starting a mentor program

• Mentoring can support confidence, belonging, and a sense of possibility
• The knowledge, relationships, and opportunities gained through a mentoring program can help young people and adults explore educational, career, and personal possibilities that may not be readily available in classrooms or workplaces
• Mentoring relationships can challenge stereotypes about professions, communities, identities, and life paths by creating opportunities for people to learn directly from one another
• Mentoring partnerships can strengthen teamwork, communication, shared learning, and community connection

How do you decide whether to set up a mentor program?

Mentoring programs can create learning and supportive relationships between two adults, between an adult and a young person, or between young people. The type of program you choose should reflect the goals, interests, strengths, and preferences of the people who will participate. Across different models, mentoring generally aims to expand opportunity, build relationships, support learning and growth, and reduce barriers.

When thinking about whether to establish a mentoring program in a school, workplace, neighborhood, or community organization, the following questions can help you decide whether mentoring is the right strategy:

• What advantages could a mentoring program offer compared with other strategies for involving community members and supporting young people's or adults' goals?
• Is mentoring an appropriate and desired strategy for the people you hope to involve?
• What do potential participants say they would like to gain from a mentoring relationship?
• What strengths, interests, experiences, and goals will participants bring to the relationship?
• What resources, training, safeguards, accessibility supports, and ongoing supervision will the program need in order to support healthy mentoring relationships?

The next point to consider is the type of mentoring program you want. Three broad models are possible: youth-youth, adult-adult, and adult-youth. Although this chapter focuses primarily on adult-youth mentoring, many of the skills discussed can be adapted to the other models as well.

Before going further, let's look at some of the relationships and activities that may develop within each of these three types of mentoring programs.

Adult-youth mentor programs:

• Mentors can offer young people consistent attention, encouragement, guidance, and another supportive relationship
• Adults can share experiences related to education, work, responsibility, problem-solving, and other life skills while recognizing that there are many different paths to success
• Young people can strengthen confidence as their interests, abilities, experiences, and goals are recognized and supported
• Adult mentors can develop meaningful relationships with young people while learning from their perspectives and experiences
• Mentors can help young people explore new experiences, relationships, resources, education, careers, and other opportunities

Youth-youth mentor programs:

• Peer mentoring may focus on academics, school engagement, transitions, leadership, social connection, or other goals identified by young people
• Young people can provide peer tutoring, encouragement, information, navigation, and support while working within appropriate boundaries
• Peer mentoring can create opportunities for both mentors and mentees to strengthen communication, leadership, academic, and problem-solving skills

Peer mentors should not be expected to provide professional counseling, crisis intervention, medical advice, or other services beyond their training and role. Programs should provide adult support, clear boundaries, and appropriate referral procedures.

Adult-adult mentor programs:

• An experienced employee may help a new or newly promoted employee learn workplace systems, expectations, or job responsibilities
• An experienced employee who is retiring or moving into another role may share institutional knowledge and experience with colleagues
• Adults may mentor one another in job skills, career development, leadership, entrepreneurship, education, or other areas
• Organizations and communities can benefit when mentoring strengthens skills, relationships, knowledge sharing, and leadership development

Even though goals vary from program to program, organized mentoring is grounded in the idea that people can continue to learn, grow, develop skills, strengthen relationships, and expand their opportunities throughout life. Mentoring should support participants' own goals and agency rather than treating mentors as people who are responsible for "fixing" or reshaping mentees.

Overview

Now that you've become more familiar with mentoring, the rest of the sections in this chapter will discuss the basics of setting up a program, including:

• Recruiting Mentors for Your Program - identify the qualities, experiences, commitment, and skills your program needs in mentors and develop an equitable process for recruiting and selecting them.
• Training Adult Mentors - determine what mentors should be trained on, including communication, relationship building, boundaries, cultural humility, youth development, safety, and the goals of the mentor-mentee relationship.
• Recruiting Youth to Your Mentoring Program - consider what matters to young people, who the program hopes to engage, how to communicate opportunities respectfully, and how to explain what participants can expect from a mentoring relationship.
• Building Youth/Mentor Relationships - help mentors and mentees communicate effectively, establish trust and boundaries, solve problems together, and build supportive relationships.
• Youth Goal Setting - support young people in identifying and pursuing goals that reflect their own interests, strengths, priorities, and aspirations.
• Monitoring and Gathering Feedback from Your Mentoring Program - gather feedback from mentors and mentees, monitor the quality and safety of relationships, identify needed improvements, and make sure the program continues to support participants' goals.

In Summary

Supportive mentoring relationships can create meaningful opportunities for learning, connection, encouragement, and growth. Mentors can share knowledge, experiences, resources, and relationships, while mentees bring their own strengths, goals, experiences, and perspectives to the partnership.

A well-planned and well-supported mentoring program can strengthen relationships and expand opportunities for young people, adults, organizations, and communities. Strong programs treat mentoring as a partnership rather than a one-way process in which one person has all the knowledge and another simply receives it. Clear expectations, meaningful participant choice, appropriate training, supportive relationships, and ongoing feedback can help mentoring programs provide lasting value.

You understand what a mentoring program is:

___You understand that mentor or partnership programs connect people who have specific skills and knowledge (mentors) with individuals (protégés) who need or want the same skills and advantages to move up in work, skill level, or school performance

___You understand that there are many advantages to setting up a mentor or partnership program

You have decided that beginning a mentoring program is the appropriate strategy for your group or organization:

___You have determined the advantages of a mentor program over another strategy to get people involved with the community, young people and their futures

___You have decided that a mentoring program is an appropriate strategy for the population you want to reach

___You know what young people, employees, or community members gain from the mentoring relationship

You understand the different relationships that can develop in mentoring program:

___Adolescent-adolescent mentor programs

___Adolescent-adult mentoring programs

___Adult-adult mentor programs

___You know what information is available in other sections of this chapter

Example: Canadian Coalition for Global Health Research Mentoring Modules

Mentorship is recognized across disciplines in both academic and practice settings as an important contributor to building capacity within organizations and among individuals. There are many definitions and types of mentorship. Mentorship can be spontaneous or formal, direct or indirect, and short- or long-term. Mentoring Modules: An Introduction to Mentorship was developed by Katrina Plamondon for the Canadian Coalition for Global Health Research to provide a foundation for exploring these different forms of mentorship in ways that can contribute to creating a culture of mentorship. These modules are applicable to any section in this chapter on Youth Mentoring Programs.

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

• What is recruiting?

• Why do you need to recruit?

• What makes a good mentor?

• How do you decide what qualities you're looking for in a mentor?

• How do you attract potential mentors?

• How do you choose good mentors?

• Tips for conducting an interview

The success of any community-based program depends in large part on the commitment, preparation, reliability, and abilities of the people who participate or volunteer. These qualities are especially important in a mentoring program, where mentors build relationships with young people over time. If you're setting up such a program, you'll want a thoughtful recruitment and screening process that helps you identify people who can build safe, respectful, and supportive mentoring relationships.

What is recruiting?

Recruiting is the process of finding and inviting people to join or participate in your organization. Recruiting for a program brings together people who share an interest in its goals. For a mentoring program, this means identifying people who are willing to invest time in building supportive relationships with young people and helping them pursue their own interests and goals.

Why do you need to recruit?

You need to recruit enough qualified mentors to support the young people who want to participate in your program. Mentors may leave because of changes in work, family responsibilities, health, relocation, or other circumstances, and new young people may join the program over time. Ongoing recruitment can help your program maintain enough well-prepared mentors without rushing people into relationships before they have been properly screened and trained.

Recruitment also gives you an opportunity to reach people who may not have thought of themselves as mentors but who have the commitment, experience, skills, and willingness to learn that could make them strong partners for young people.

What makes a good mentor?

Many different kinds of people can become effective mentors. There is no single profession, personality, age, educational background, or life path that defines a good mentor. Strong mentors can come from throughout the community and may bring a wide variety of cultures, identities, occupations, experiences, skills, and perspectives.

Before deciding what qualities your program should look for, think about people who made a positive difference in your own life. They may have been teachers, relatives, coaches, neighbors, co-workers, friends, community leaders, or others who encouraged, challenged, supported, or believed in you.

Think back to your childhood and adolescent years. Who did you admire? What made those relationships meaningful? The qualities you remember may help you identify some characteristics that matter in mentoring, while also reminding you that young people themselves should help define what they value in a mentor.

Consider questions such as:

• Who did you admire when you were younger, and why?
• What qualities made you trust or respect particular adults or peers?
• Who helped you explore interests, goals, or possibilities that mattered to you?
• How did the people you looked up to change as you grew older?
• What kinds of support helped you pursue your goals?
• What qualities made you feel respected and understood?
• Who do you consider a positive mentor or role model now, and why?
• What qualities do you value in supportive relationships?
• What qualities do you value in close friends, colleagues, or community members?
• What values would you want a mentor to communicate through their actions and relationships with young people?

Now that you've reflected on qualities you value in supportive relationships, consider which of those characteristics fit what your program hopes to provide and what young people themselves say they want from mentors. Your organization should develop clear criteria for mentors, but those criteria should reflect the goals and perspectives of the young people involved rather than only adult assumptions about what makes a good mentor.

How do you decide what qualities you're looking for in a mentor?

Your own experiences can provide useful ideas, but they shouldn't be the only basis for deciding what makes a strong mentor. Develop your criteria by combining research and program requirements with input from young people, families, community partners, and others who understand the experiences and goals of participants.

The group will probably want to answer questions such as:

• What will mentors actually be expected to do?
• How much time and for how long will mentors need to commit?
• What qualities, skills, experience, and preparation will mentors need?
• What qualities do participating young people say are important to them?
• What safeguards, boundaries, training, and supervision will the program require?

What will the mentor be doing?

First, think about the kinds of activities mentors may take part in with their mentees. The specific role should depend on your program's purpose and on the interests and goals of the young people involved. Mentors might:

• Support mentees with homework, studying, or educational goals when that is part of the mentoring plan
• Share skills or specialized knowledge, such as car maintenance, coding, cooking, music, art, budgeting, or other areas of interest
• Help young people identify and work toward goals they choose for themselves
• Introduce mentees to educational, cultural, recreational, professional, or community opportunities that match their interests
• Help young people build networks and learn how to connect with people, organizations, and resources that may support their goals
• Support the development of communication, problem-solving, self-advocacy, planning, and decision-making skills
• Explore shared interests and learn from one another

The activities themselves matter, but the quality of the relationship matters just as much. Mentors should be able to listen, communicate respectfully, maintain appropriate boundaries, follow through on commitments, support young people's agency, and recognize when a concern requires help from program staff or another qualified professional.

For how long do we want a mentor to commit to reach these goals?

Some things to keep in mind as you think about the length of commitment you are asking for:

• A mentor's activities and responsibilities will vary from program to program and from one mentoring relationship to another
• A mentoring relationship may change as a young person's interests, circumstances, strengths, and goals develop
• Mentoring works best when relationships have enough consistency and time to develop trust while also respecting participants' changing needs and boundaries

Your group should decide what kind of commitment is realistic for the program. Many relationship-based programs ask mentors to commit for six months, a year, or longer so that the relationship has time to develop. Other programs may focus on a short-term project, transition, or specific skill and therefore use shorter commitments. Whatever model you choose, make expectations clear before mentors and mentees are matched.

What qualities and qualifications would be ideal in a mentor?

The qualities you seek should be connected to what mentors will actually be asked to do. Depending on your program, important considerations may include:

• Reliability and ability to follow through on commitments
• Communication and listening skills
• Relevant life, work, community, or educational experience
• Patience, respect, and genuine interest in working with young people
• Ability to support young people's growing independence rather than trying to control their decisions
• Experience communicating and building relationships across differences
• Emotional maturity, self-awareness, and sound judgment
• Knowledge or skills relevant to the program's goals, when appropriate
• Commitment to young people and the community
• Cultural humility and openness to people with different identities, experiences, abilities, and perspectives
• Ability to maintain healthy interpersonal and professional boundaries
• Willingness to learn, receive feedback, participate in training, and seek support when needed

Remember that adults designing the program may not value exactly the same qualities that participating young people do. A mentor who looks ideal on paper may not necessarily be someone a young person feels comfortable talking with or learning from.

For that reason, involve young people in deciding what qualities matter in mentors. Focus groups, listening sessions, surveys, youth advisory groups, and other forms of participation can help you understand what young people want from a mentoring relationship.

Examine your selection criteria for assumptions or biases before you begin recruiting. Requirements should relate to the actual mentoring role and to participant safety, not to stereotypes about what a mentor is supposed to look like, how they communicate, what kind of family they come from, or what educational or professional path they have followed.

How do you attract potential mentors?

Potential mentors may not seek out your program on their own. People often have work, caregiving, education, community, and other responsibilities, and some may not realize that mentoring opportunities are available or that they have something valuable to contribute. Effective recruitment means reaching people through the places, networks, and communication channels they already use.

Some ways to get the word out include:

• Hold an informational meeting or virtual session that explains what the program does, what mentors are expected to do, and what support the program provides
• Share information through schools, colleges, libraries, community organizations, recreation centers, workplaces, faith communities, and other local networks
• Inform parents, caregivers, families, and community members through newsletters, email, text messages, social media, community meetings, or direct outreach
• Invite people you know who may have the qualities and commitment your program needs
• Ask current mentors, volunteers, participants, and community partners to share the opportunity with their networks
• Ask youth leaders and community organizations to suggest networks or communities where potential mentors may be reached
• Invite businesses, professional associations, labor organizations, colleges, alumni groups, and other institutions to share the opportunity with interested members
• Use local media, community newsletters, websites, volunteer platforms, and social media to explain the mentoring opportunity

Recruitment materials should describe mentoring realistically. Be clear about the time commitment, training, screening, supervision, activities, boundaries, and support mentors will receive. Avoid presenting mentors as rescuers or suggesting that young people need adults to "save" them. Emphasize relationship building, shared learning, opportunity, and support.

Try to recruit from a broad range of communities and networks. A diverse pool of mentors can give young people more possibilities when identifying someone with whom they share interests, experiences, identities, languages, professional goals, or other meaningful connections.

How do you choose good mentors?

Once people express interest in becoming mentors, the next step is a fair and thoughtful application and screening process. Screening helps the program understand each applicant's interests, experience, expectations, reliability, and readiness for the role while also protecting the safety and well-being of participants.

The application process

A strong application process should be consistent, relevant to the mentoring role, respectful of applicants' privacy, and appropriate to the level of responsibility mentors will have. It should help your program identify people who are likely to build safe, dependable, and respectful relationships with young people.

Possible screening tools include:

• Application - a form that asks for information relevant to the mentoring role, such as contact information, experience, availability, interests, languages, skills, reasons for wanting to mentor, and ability to meet program expectations.
• Interview - a structured conversation that allows the program to learn more about an applicant's approach to mentoring, communication, boundaries, reliability, problem-solving, expectations, and willingness to learn.
• Reference checks - conversations or written responses from people who can speak to an applicant's reliability, judgment, interpersonal skills, and ability to work appropriately with others.
• Background and safeguarding checks - depending on the program, setting, jurisdiction, and activities involved, these may include criminal history checks, sex-offender registry searches, child abuse or neglect registry checks, driving-record reviews, or other screening required by law or organizational policy. Background checks should be one part of a broader safeguarding process rather than treated as proof by themselves that someone will or will not be a good mentor.
• Short-answer questions - questions about an applicant's expectations, goals, experiences, approach to working with young people, and response to realistic mentoring situations.
• Scenario-based questions - prompts that ask how an applicant might respond to situations involving boundaries, disagreement, confidentiality, cultural differences, safety, missed meetings, or a young person asking for help outside the mentor's role.
• Skills and interests inventory - a form that helps identify an applicant's skills, languages, interests, community connections, hobbies, professional experience, and other information that may be useful when making appropriate matches.
• Orientation or pre-match training - participation in an orientation can help applicants understand the role before they make a final commitment and gives program staff another opportunity to observe how applicants engage with training, feedback, and program expectations.

Avoid screening requirements that do not have a clear relationship to the mentoring role. A person's grade point average, family structure, home furnishings, income, educational prestige, or ability to perform well in a traditional interview may reveal little about whether they can build a reliable and respectful mentoring relationship.

No screening process can predict exactly how someone will behave in every mentoring situation. That's why selection should be combined with strong training, clear boundaries, ongoing supervision, regular check-ins with mentors and mentees, and procedures for responding to concerns.

Mentoring programs have a particular responsibility to protect young people's safety while also treating them as people with strengths, rights, preferences, and voices in the mentoring process. Keep a clear checklist of application requirements, interviews, training, references, safeguarding checks, and other steps so that the same basic process is used consistently for all applicants.

Reference checks

References can provide useful information about how an applicant follows through on responsibilities, communicates with others, handles feedback, exercises judgment, and maintains appropriate boundaries. Rather than relying only on general recommendation letters, your organization may find it more useful to ask references the same structured questions related to the mentoring role.

• Confirm that the reference is genuine and understands the applicant well enough to comment meaningfully on relevant qualities.
• Consider the nature of the relationship between the applicant and the reference when interpreting the information provided.
• Ask references about qualities that actually matter to your program, such as reliability, judgment, communication, respect for boundaries, consistency, openness to feedback, and ability to work with young people or across differences.

Written responses

If you ask applicants for written responses, keep the questions relevant to mentoring rather than trying to uncover private details about their lives or personalities. You might ask:

• Why are you interested in mentoring?
• What do you hope a young person might gain from the relationship?
• What do you hope to learn?
• How would you respond if your mentee's interests, values, or goals were different from your own?
• How would you handle a situation in which a young person shared something you were unsure how to respond to?

These responses may give you useful information about an applicant's expectations, self-awareness, judgment, and approach to relationships without requiring unnecessary personal disclosure.

Skills and interests inventory

A skills and interests inventory can provide a quick picture of experiences and interests that may help with matching. These might include professional knowledge, hobbies, languages, cultural or community connections, educational interests, arts, sports, technology, trades, and other areas the applicant is comfortable sharing.

Matching should not rely on a single characteristic. Shared identity can be important to some young people and less important to others. Ask participants what kinds of connections matter to them rather than assuming that people should be matched solely because they share a race, gender, disability, profession, neighborhood, or other characteristic.

Tips for conducting an interview

Interviews give both the program and the applicant a chance to learn more about one another. A structured and welcoming interview can help you evaluate qualities relevant to mentoring while also giving the applicant enough information to decide whether the role is right for them.

• If the applicant has completed an application, review the relevant information before the interview so you don't make them repeat unnecessary details.
• Prepare a consistent set of questions in advance. Using similar core questions with all applicants can make the process fairer and help interviewers compare information that is actually relevant to the mentoring role.
• Welcome the applicant and introduce everyone involved in the interview. Follow the applicant's lead regarding handshakes or other physical greetings.
• Make sure the interview setting is physically and communication-accessible and offer reasonable accommodations when needed.
• Give the applicant your attention, but don't treat eye contact as a requirement. Communication styles vary across cultures, personalities, disabilities, and neurotypes.
• Focus primarily on the content of the applicant's responses, examples of past behavior, understanding of boundaries, willingness to learn, and ability to meet program expectations. Be cautious about using posture, eye contact, accent, confidence, or other subjective impressions as evidence of someone's suitability.
• Let applicants finish their responses before asking follow-up questions or offering comments.
• Ask open-ended and scenario-based questions that give applicants opportunities to explain how they think, communicate, set boundaries, respond to differences, and solve problems.
• Make sure applicants understand the program's expectations, time commitment, boundaries, supervision, safeguarding requirements, and procedures for raising concerns.
• Encourage applicants to ask questions about the program and mentoring role.
• At the end of the interview, thank the applicant for their time and explain whom they can contact if additional questions come up.
• Explain the next steps in the application process, including any remaining documentation, reference checks, background or safeguarding checks, training, and expected timeline.

Interviewers should also receive guidance on fair and consistent selection practices. Questions should relate to the mentoring role and program requirements, and organizations should avoid making decisions based on stereotypes or characteristics unrelated to a person's ability to mentor safely and effectively.

In Summary

Recruiting mentors is one of the first steps in building an effective mentoring program. A strong recruitment process helps your organization reach a broad range of potential mentors, clearly explain what the role involves, and identify people who are prepared to build safe, dependable, and respectful relationships with young people.

Selection should focus on qualities that matter to mentoring: reliability, communication, respect for young people's agency, appropriate boundaries, sound judgment, cultural humility, openness to feedback, and willingness to make a consistent commitment. Screening can help identify potential concerns, but it should be combined with training, supervision, participant feedback, and ongoing support.

Most importantly, involve young people in defining what they want from mentors and in evaluating whether mentoring relationships are working for them. A strong mentoring program doesn't simply recruit adults it considers impressive; it recruits and prepares people who can listen, learn, build trust, and support young people in pursuing their own goals.

___You understand that recruiting is the process by which you find people to join or participate in your organization

___You understand that you need to recruit to ensure that your supply of mentors meets the demand

___You have thought about what qualities are important in a mentor

___You know what mentors will be doing

___You know how long you want mentors to commit

___You know what qualities and qualifications would be ideal in a mentor

___You understand different ways to advertise your program:

• Informational meeting
• Posting flyers
• Inform parents of your program
• Invite your friends (and their friends) to become mentors
• Ask community, business, and manufacturing leaders to suggest individuals who would make good mentors
• Place advertisements in local and school papers

___You are aware of the different screening processes available in the application process:

• Application
• Skills inventory
• Personal history
• Short answer questions
• Grade point average
• Background check
• References
• Interview
• Home visit

___You understand how to effectively conduct an interview

Example 1: Requirements to be a Big Brother/Big Sister in Douglas County, Kansas

Big Brothers/Big Sisters is a national organization that provides adult companions /role models to children who come from single-parent families.

Potential Big Brothers or Big Sisters must:

• Attend an informational meeting
• Fill out an application
• Submit completed reference forms from three references
• Submit to background checks by the Department of Motor Vehicles, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, and the National Child Abuse Registry
• Take the Clinical Analysis Questionnaire (CAQ), a personality test that's evaluated by a local psychologist, and score satisfactorily
• Participate in a 20-minute home visit with an assigned social worker or case manager
• Participate in an hour-long personal, in-office interview with Big Brothers/Big Sisters staff members
• Select a match from a pool of available children

As you can see, Big Brothers/Big Sisters goes to great lengths to ensure that it recruits and trains capable people. Such an extensive application process takes up to six weeks to complete but may help the organization avoid accepting volunteers who don't really fit in with the organization.

Example 2: Sample Checklist of Forms Completed by Potential Mentors

Nickels and Dimes Mentoring Applicant Checklist

Potential mentor has attended informational meeting: When? ________	Yes	No
Potential mentor has turned in a completed application?	Yes	No
Director, co-director, and three volunteers have read/approved application?	Yes	No
Applicant has returned completed release of information forms?	Yes	No
National Registry of Child Abuse check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Department of Motor Vehicles check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Kansas Bureau of Investigation check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Three complete references for applicant have been received?	Yes	No
Applicant has taken psychological exam? Results:	Yes	No
Applicant has completed an in-office interveiw with director and co-director?	Yes	No
Social worker has completed a home-visit with applicant? Results:	Yes	No
Applicant file completed?	Yes	No
Applicant accepted?	Yes	No
Has applicant selected a youth match? Name: ____________	Yes	No

See attached match file for comments and additional information.

Example 3: Sample letter of reference

William Baer, President
Center for Research on Social Learning
7895 East Wilson Blvd.
Kansas City, KS 64114

Mary Johnson, Director
Search for Excellence
1421 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence, KS 66044

Dear Mary,

This letter is written in support of Joseph Floreani, whom I have had the pleasure of supervising at the Center for Research on Social Learning. While working in our company, Joseph has evaluated and taught elementary-aged children who manifest learning disabilities in the mainstream classroom but for whom no special education services exist. Joseph has performed his duties with diligence and compassion, a rare combination that is greatly appreciated by his colleagues, his students, and their families.

In the five years that Joseph as worked with us, he has demonstrated an enormous capacity for adapting to the different concerns and personalities of his students. His versatility as a knowledgeable, well-educated individual allows him to efficiently plan and carry out detailed educational activities that delight his students while improving their skills and opportunities for success. I can, without hesitation, recommend Joseph Floreani as an excellent mentor in your Search for Excellence program.

Sincerely,

William Baer, President
Center for Research on Social Learning

Example 4: Sample essay questions

Please describe what you learned from your parents growing up. What kind of values did they believe in and which of those values would you choose to teach to your own children? Why?

My father and mother came from good farming stock; they were both born at home, more than fifty miles away from the nearest doctor, and both learned to read over lunch breaks from the field. Because my parents both grew up knowing hard work as part of life, they made their children start earning their keep at an early age. I have been more or less self-employed since the age of eight, when I offered my services as a strawberry picker in the hills of Southwestern Missouri. I always liked the feeling of pride I got whenever I finished a job and came running home with a few dollars in my pockets after several hours of backbreaking work in the hot, tiring sun and heavy pants. From fruit picking, I moved up to mowing lawns and cleaning gutters for our neighbors; as I grew older and stronger, my 'territory' expanded to include locals or 'townies', as we called them.

My parents were proud of the energy and initiative displayed by their children, and the reward for our hard work was a $10 savings bond, which we could choose to use for whatever we wanted, once we hit age 21. Of course, schooling past high school was encouraged, but I decided to wait to go to the university until I had established myself as a businessman. That way when I did go to school, I wouldn't miss out on all the fun when my friends went into retail or other service-for-hire work. My parents supported my decision to postpone school, saying it was just as important to have time as money well spent.

Although my parents and I differ in many ways, I carried their love of early mornings and hard work into adulthood, and have tried to teach the same values to my own children: my kids help me in the garden on Saturdays before they go play, and we are all early risers, as morning time is spent cleaning or cooking or listening to what each person has to say about her or his plans for the day. I believe that time spent in the family setting is just as special and educational as the time spent in the garden or working at the office, but I try to be reasonable.

To me, hard work and good family relations go hand in hand because they buoy each other up and support each other; I never would've been able to make a go of my landscaping business now if my brothers and sister hadn't helped mow all those lawns when we when in grade school together. And, working nine hours a day in the scorching, suffocating heat with flies and sweat all around isn't that fun, unless you have a brother or sister to tease along the way.

Example 5: Personal history

Name two people whom you admired as an adolescent. Why were these people, or how did they act as, role models for you?

When I was younger, Thomas Jefferson was one of my heroes. He's such an important person in our country's history--author of the Declaration of Independence, one of our country's finest patriots, Secretary of State under Washington, third President of the United States. What impressed me the most about Thomas Jefferson, though, was his dedication to education and his pursuit of curiosity. One of the things he requested be put on his tombstone included "founder of the University of Virginia"; I really admired that he worked so hard to bring education to the common man and that, of all his amazing accomplishments, he was as committed to educating every person in America as he was to bringing political power to the leaders of our country.

I also admired Jefferson's fascination with building new tools and inventing machines to make life (ostensibly) easier. I really believe he loved creating his gadgets not so much for their practicality but for the love of a good mental challenge. I think Jefferson was his own best adversary and motivator; he never let himself be satisfied with the way things were.

I also admire anyone who becomes a mother. I believe that no other profession is as important as being a good parent. That's not to say that everyone should be a parent, just like not everyone should be a doctor or a teacher. So, I really admire my mother. To me she represents all that's good about being alive -- she's loving, she's supportive, she sacrificed her own immediate goals of becoming an artist to become a responsible, fantastic mother at a young age. She's done an immeasurable amount for my brothers, sisters, and me -- all good mothers do -- to make sure that her children, her works of art, in a way, were the best they could be. I don't know if we've done her proud or not, but she certainly did her part.

Tool 1: Sample application for potential members

Mentor Application

Name

Address

Phone #:

Date of birth:

Work history (starting with most recent):

         Company                    Position held                    Dates                    Primary Responsibilities

1.

2.

3.

Educational Background:

• Did you attend college?
  • For how long?
  • Name of university or college?
• Have you had any post-secondary training?
  • If so where?
  • How long?
  • Kind of training?

Why are you interested in becoming a volunteer mentor?

What kinds of experiences have you had working with adolescents?

What kinds of skills and special abilities can you bring to our program that might be useful for adolescents to acquire?

Tool 2: Sample reference form

Reference form

Name of applicant:

Your name:

Your title and place of employment:

How long have you known the applicant?

In what capacity have you known the applicant (teacher, supervisor, friend, co-worker)?

Please describe the applicant in terms of personal values and life stability:

 

 

Please comment on the applicant's ability to function as a mentor/role model for adolescents, ages 12 to 17, including knowledge you have of applicant's experiences with children.

 

 

Briefly describe a situation in which you have witnessed the applicant engaging in one of the following activities:

• Teaching someone a skill
• Instructing someone in a complicated process
• Providing personal counseling
• Organizing projects and assigning tasks

 

Tool 3: Sample skills inventory

Maintenance __Window washing __Floor waxing / mopping __General household cleaning __Lawn care / landscaping __Floor stripping / sanding __Wood stripping / refinishing __House painting - outside __House painting - inside __Plumbing __Electrical	Computers __Word processor __Database program __Statistical program __Graphics program __Computer programming
Construction __Installing drywall __Building demolition __Building houses __Room remodeling __Bathroom remodeling __Bricklaying / masonry __Cement mixing  / pouring __Installing insulation __Furniture / cabinet making __Carpentry skills __Roofing	Food __Catering __Short-order cook __Bartending __Baking __Line cook __Head chef
Health __First Aid __Nursing __Dental Care __Caring for people with severe disabilities __Caring for people with mental illness	Education / Child Care __Parenting __Elementary school teaching __Middle school teaching __High school  teaching __Early childhood education __Daycare __Babysitting __Camp instructor __Lifeguard
Office __Typing __Copy machine __Fax machine __Multiple-line phone system __Filing __Bookkeeping	Other __Hotel management __Hairstyling __Artist __Musician __Farmer __Security __Horticulture __Transportation / driver __Waiting tables __Product sales __Retail __Fashion design

 Tool 4: Sample values questions

1. What do you hope to gain by becoming a volunteer mentor?

2. What kind of experience have you had talking with your family members, friends, and co-workers about their difficulties?

3. How do you feel about how your life has been going lately? How satisfied are you right now?

4. Do you feel comfortable interacting with others one-on-one?

5. Are you able to work with persons who come from backgrounds very different from yours or whose lifestyles you don't agree with?

6. Are you able to be assertive?

7. How about with your ability to not give advice, even when you disagree with someone's decision?

Tool 5: Sample short answer questions

1. Why do you want to be a volunteer mentor?

2. What are the major responsibilities in your life right now?

3. What are your major interests?

4. What are your future plans and dreams?

5. How do you feel about the way your life is right now?

6. What words would you use to describe yourself?

7. What words would your friends/family/supervisor use to describe you?

8. What kinds of life changes have you experienced, including losses, relationship changes, family and friendship changes, or health, education, or self-awareness changes?

9. Who has been a role model or mentor to you in your life? How?

10. What kinds of influences do you think are good for children nowadays? Why?

11. What kinds of influences are bad for children nowadays? Why?

12. Who or what do you think is the most important influence in children's lives? 

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

• Why train adult mentors?

• When do you train adult mentors?

• Who should train your adult mentors?

• Where should the training be held?

• How do you train adult mentors?

Why train adult mentors?

You've screened applications, conducted interviews, checked references, and started thinking about which mentors and young people might be well matched. So you're ready to introduce the pairs and get your mentoring program under way, right?

Not quite. You've left out a very important step: training your adult mentors.

Training adult mentors is important for several reasons. Even after completing your screening process, newly recruited mentors may have questions about their role, boundaries, responsibilities, and what young people can expect from them. They may also need to strengthen skills such as listening, communication, problem solving, conflict resolution, cultural humility, and supporting young people's goals.

Training also gives mentors a clear understanding of the program's purpose, values, policies, safeguarding expectations, available resources, and procedures for seeking support when difficult situations arise.

Good training prepares mentors to build safe, respectful, and supportive relationships with mentees. It may include orientation to the program; clarification of mentor and mentee roles; communication and listening skills; problem solving; conflict resolution; goal setting; cultural humility; confidentiality and its limits; appropriate boundaries; youth development; community resources; working collaboratively with parents and caregivers; and procedures for responding to safety or well-being concerns.

Training can also include activities that help new mentors practice relationship-building and become more comfortable with the mentoring role before they are matched.

When should you train adult mentors?

As early as possible. Core training should take place before a mentor is matched with a young person. Mentors need to understand essential program expectations, boundaries, safety procedures, and their responsibilities before beginning a mentoring relationship.

If mentors join the program throughout the year, you may not be able to offer an extensive individual training every time someone enrolls. In that case, you might provide regular orientation sessions and schedule more comprehensive training several times a year.

New mentors can receive written or digital materials as soon as they enter the program, including the history and purpose of the program, mentor responsibilities, safeguarding and confidentiality policies, communication expectations, emergency procedures, and information about community resources. These materials can prepare mentors for training, but they should not replace the core preparation required before a match begins.

Once a mentor has completed the required orientation and training, your program can determine whether they are ready to be matched. Additional learning and support should continue throughout the mentoring relationship.

Who should train your adult mentors?

Your organization will probably provide much of the training because program staff understand its mission, expectations, policies, and mentoring model. However, community partners and professionals can contribute valuable expertise.

For example, a mediator or facilitator might lead a session on conflict resolution. A youth development professional might discuss adolescent development and communication. A social worker or family engagement specialist could discuss respectful partnerships with parents and caregivers. Other trainers might contribute expertise related to cultural humility, disability inclusion, mental health, trauma-informed practice, LGBTQ+ inclusion, safeguarding, or another area relevant to the young people involved.

Young people and former or current mentees can also contribute to training when they choose to do so. Their perspectives can help mentors understand what young people value in mentoring relationships, what helps build trust, and what adult behaviors may create barriers.

Where should the training be held?

Training can take place in many different settings. A classroom may be convenient, especially during evenings or weekends, and may provide useful technology or presentation space. If training occurs at a school that many mentees attend, mentors may also become more familiar with one part of the community young people experience.

At the same time, a school may not be the most comfortable or accessible setting for everyone. Some participants may have had difficult experiences in school settings, and classrooms may not provide appropriate furniture, accessibility, privacy, lighting, or other features needed for adult training.

Other possibilities include community centers, libraries, conference rooms, colleges and universities, recreation centers, health organizations, workplaces, or public buildings. Virtual or hybrid training may also be useful when it improves access.

Whatever setting you choose, consider physical accessibility, transportation, parking, public transit, lighting, temperature, seating, restrooms, language and communication access, technology, and the privacy needed for discussing sensitive mentoring situations. If refreshments are provided, consider allergies, dietary needs, and cultural preferences.

How do you train adult mentors?

Training can be simple or extensive depending on the goals and structure of your program, but mentors generally need more preparation than a packet of written materials alone. The amount of training should reflect the responsibilities mentors will have, the ages of the young people involved, the setting in which mentoring occurs, and the issues the program may encounter.

One approach is to hold several shorter sessions or one longer training session, with different modules covering topics important to your program. Some organizations also combine self-paced materials with live discussion, practice, and role-playing.

The modules below are examples. Choose and adapt them to fit your mentoring model and the needs and priorities identified by young people, families, mentors, staff, and community partners.

Orientation session

Orientation is usually an introductory session for new mentors or people considering becoming mentors. Its purpose is to help participants understand the program and decide whether the role is a good fit.

Orientation may include:

• Your organization's history, purpose, values, and accomplishments
• Programs and activities currently in progress
• The time commitment expected of mentors
• Program logistics, including meeting locations, communication methods, transportation, and scheduling
• Program resources, including activity ideas, educational materials, and staff support
• Community and referral resources, such as crisis services, schools, health providers, social services, and other supports
• Guidelines and boundaries for the mentoring relationship, including what mentors are and are not expected to do
• Information about the young people participating in the program, including their strengths, interests, communities, goals, and some of the circumstances or barriers they may be navigating
• How mentors are selected, trained, matched, supported, and supervised
• What mentors may learn or gain from participating in the program
• Confidentiality and its limits, including any applicable mandated-reporting or safeguarding responsibilities
• Expectations related to communication, social media, transportation, gifts, physical contact, meeting locations, and other boundaries relevant to your program

Orientation should also give prospective mentors time to ask questions and reflect honestly on whether they can meet the program's expectations. It's better for someone to decide before being matched that the role isn't right for them than to make a commitment they cannot sustain.

Training sessions

More detailed training can build the skills mentors need once they understand the basic structure of the program.

Some topics you may want to include are:

Mentor responsibilities:

Clearly and specifically explain what mentors are responsible for and where the limits of their role lie.

Consider:

• What does your program hope to accomplish?
• What should mentors contribute to the mentoring relationship?
• What are mentors specifically not expected or permitted to do?
• What role does the young person have in shaping the relationship?
• What choices and responsibilities belong to the mentee?
• When should a mentor contact program staff rather than trying to handle a concern alone?

Goal setting in the mentoring relationship:

Discuss the importance of defining and setting goals, with the young person taking an active role in identifying what matters to them.

• Help young people identify goals that reflect their own interests, strengths, priorities, and aspirations
• Help mentors develop realistic expectations and avoid defining success for the mentee
• Explore possible steps, resources, relationships, and pathways that may support those goals
• Revisit and adjust goals as the young person's interests, circumstances, knowledge, and priorities change

Listening and communication skills:

Teach mentors communication skills that help build respectful, trusting relationships.

This session can include:

• Active listening and asking open-ended questions
• Role-playing realistic mentoring situations
• Practicing nonjudgmental and strength-based communication
• Recognizing that communication styles may vary by culture, disability, personality, and neurotype
• Knowing when to listen rather than immediately offer advice or solutions

Problem-solving skills:

Include information on:

• Problem-solving skills
• Tutoring and teaching skills when these are part of the mentoring role
• Modeling communication, accountability, decision-making, and other positive practices
• Helping mentees explore options without taking over decisions that belong to them

Conflict resolution skills:

Teach mentors how to work through tension and disagreement in a mentoring relationship. Conflict is not necessarily a sign that a match has failed. Differences in expectations, communication styles, values, schedules, or goals may arise and can often be addressed constructively.

Discuss:

• How clear expectations and communication can prevent some conflicts
• How to work through disagreement respectfully
• How to identify possible solutions together
• How mentors can recognize stress and prevent burnout
• How to support young people's engagement and motivation without trying to control or pressure them
• When and how to close, pause, or change a mentoring match respectfully when the relationship is not meeting participants' needs

Conflict-resolution training may also help mentors support young people as they develop their own communication and problem-solving skills with peers, family members, teachers, co-workers, and others. Mentors should support young people's problem solving rather than stepping into conflicts that should be handled by the young person, family, school, program staff, or another appropriate party.

Community resources and networking:

Provide mentors with current information about community organizations, educational opportunities, recreation, health and mental health services, career resources, housing or transportation supports, crisis services, and other resources that may help young people pursue their goals or access additional support.

Mentors should understand that referring or connecting a mentee with appropriate resources can be more helpful than trying to provide services outside the mentor's role or expertise.

The mentoring relationship and the mentee's family:

Parents, caregivers, and other family members can be important partners in many youth mentoring programs. Training should help mentors understand how to build respectful relationships with families while remaining clear about the mentor's role and the young person's voice in the relationship.

Questions to address include:

• What kind of relationship should mentors have with parents, caregivers, and other family members?
• What responsibilities does the mentor have to communicate with parents or caregivers under program policy?
• What level of involvement with other family members is appropriate?
• How should mentors maintain clear boundaries with family members?
• What should a mentor do when a mentee shares concerns about family relationships or conflict?
• How should mentors respond when parents or caregivers have expectations for the relationship that differ from the mentee's goals?
• How can mentors and program staff work constructively with parents or caregivers when there is disagreement, mistrust, or limited communication?
• When should concerns involving a family be referred to program staff rather than handled by the mentor alone?

Avoid treating parents and caregivers as obstacles to the mentoring relationship. Families may have important knowledge about the young person, concerns about safety or boundaries, cultural expectations, or previous experiences with programs that shape how they respond. Listen to those concerns while also maintaining the program's commitment to the young person's well-being and agency.

Cultural humility and inclusion:

Mentors and mentees may differ in race, ethnicity, culture, religion, socioeconomic background, disability, gender identity, sexual orientation, language, family structure, or other aspects of identity and experience. Training should help mentors recognize their own assumptions, avoid stereotypes, ask respectful questions, and remain open to learning from the young person and their community.

Mentors do not need to share every aspect of a mentee's identity to build a strong relationship. They do need to respect that identity and understand when additional cultural knowledge, interpretation, accessibility support, or another resource may be helpful.

Safety, confidentiality, and boundaries:

Mentors should understand what information they may keep private, what must be shared with program staff, and any legal or organizational reporting requirements that apply. Explain these limits clearly so mentors do not promise confidentiality they cannot provide.

Training should also cover program expectations related to:

• One-on-one meeting locations
• Transportation
• Phone, text, email, and social media communication
• Physical contact
• Gifts and money
• Contact outside scheduled mentoring activities
• Overnight activities or travel, if applicable
• Responding when a young person discloses abuse, violence, self-harm, exploitation, or another serious safety concern

Mentors should know exactly whom to contact when they are uncertain about a situation. They should not be expected to manage serious safety, mental health, legal, or family concerns on their own.

Evaluation and feedback:

Mentoring programs need ongoing feedback from both mentors and mentees. Rather than mentors simply evaluating young people, the program should ask both participants whether the relationship is useful, respectful, safe, and consistent with their goals and expectations.

Mentors might reflect on questions such as:

• Am I listening to the mentee's goals rather than imposing my own?
• Am I following through on commitments?
• Does the young person seem comfortable raising concerns or disagreeing with me?
• Is there something I need help or additional training with?

Young people should also have confidential opportunities to give feedback to program staff about the mentoring relationship, including whether they want changes in activities, communication, frequency of meetings, or the match itself.

Follow-up training

Initial training is only the beginning. Ongoing training, supervision, and support can help mentors respond to new situations, strengthen their skills, and avoid burnout. Mentors should continue learning throughout the relationship.

• Provide written or digital materials mentors can use as references throughout the mentoring relationship
• Make sure mentors know whom to contact when they have questions, concerns, or unfamiliar situations. Staff can help mentors reflect on their own assumptions and reactions as well as think through practical next steps.
• Provide ongoing supervision and regular check-ins with both mentors and mentees so that concerns can be identified and addressed early
• Offer ongoing or special-topic training on issues that become relevant, such as communication, cultural humility, mental health, disability inclusion, digital safety, substance use, healthy relationships, education, or career exploration
• Organize mentor support groups or learning sessions where mentors can exchange ideas, share resources, discuss challenges without violating mentees' privacy, and support one another
• Maintain regular contact with mentors and mentees. Ongoing communication helps program staff understand how each match is developing and reminds participants that they have support if something needs to change.

In Summary

Screening can help you identify people who may be well suited to mentoring, but even strong candidates need preparation, clear expectations, and ongoing support. Training helps mentors understand their role, develop communication and relationship-building skills, maintain appropriate boundaries, support young people's goals, work respectfully with families, recognize when additional help is needed, and respond appropriately to safety concerns.

Mentor training should not be treated as a one-time event. Ongoing supervision, feedback from both mentors and mentees, continued learning, and access to program staff can help mentoring relationships remain safe, respectful, responsive, and useful over time.

The goal is not to prepare adults to direct or "fix" young people. It is to prepare them to listen, build trust, share knowledge and opportunities, respect young people's agency, and contribute to relationships in which both mentors and mentees can learn and grow.

___You understand why it's important to train adult mentors

___You know when do you train adult mentors

___You know who should train your adult mentors

___You know how to train adult mentors

___You know where the training should be held

___You know you need to make the mentor responsibilities clear

___You set the goals

___You know the importance of listening skills

___You know the importance of problem solving skills

___You know the importance of conflict resolution skills

Example: A mentor-training experience

Dr. Maggie Stone directs the McNair Scholars Program at the Central Missouri State University in Warrensburg. She works with junior and senior undergraduates, usually first generation low-income or under-represented who are academically talented and capable of successfully completing doctoral programs. The program focuses entirely on research, and she talked to us about how it works.

She said that their purpose is to mentor the protégés through an undergraduate -funded research project and help them get prepared to enter graduate school, being successful once they get there. Dr. Stone sees training adult mentors as a unique experience for most faculty members on her campus."The opportunity for faculty members to mentor funded undergraduate research students one-on-one modeling for masters and doctoral level theses and dissertations is unique." She believes that the faculty members' dealing with undergraduates who are academically gifted or talented, but who don't have the background to know what to expect from graduate school or to be prepared to do undergraduate research at an appropriate level, is a valid experience for both mentors and protégés.

"One of the reasons we really do enjoy having our faculty involved is that this gives them an opportunity to work with the student one-on-one rather than with an entire class," Dr. Stone said."The mentoring process one-on-one is very, very different from standing up and talking to a whole classroom full of people for 50 minutes and then going away. So this is the opportunity for the student to self-select faculty and for the faculty to share a research experience with a student one-on-one over the course of a year. One-on-one relationships with students do differ."

The students choose the mentors they want to be put together with."It is up to the student to convince a faculty member that their project is worthwhile and that they are worth the time and energy that faculty member to work with them. And it also gives the student the experience of approaching a faculty member with a project and convincing them to work with them on it, rather than simply being assigned and removing all the responsibility from the student. And the student is selecting a person that they can work with but their primary reason for selecting that person is the common interest in the research topic. It is a function somewhat of the interpersonal fit between the two of them, but on the other hand it is precipitated by an academic interest that the two of them share. So we're not really talking about mentoring from the standpoint of generation to generation or social mentoring. We are really talking about introducing that student into that particular academic arena."

Three times during the year that the program lasts, Dr. Stone conducts a feedback survey to follow how the program is going."We ask [faculty members] to complete a faculty mentoring report form that outlines the amount of contact they've had with the student and the nature of that contact. And then asks them for some qualitative evaluations on how the student was responding." For the students, there's a feedback survey twice a year, at the halfway point in the program."At the end of our program we ask them to complete an evaluation form which it looks at the entire program including the nature and quality of the mentoring they've gotten from their faculty member. And whether or not they would recommend that faculty member to somebody else."

To train faculty members, Dr. Stone organizes orientation sessions in which they talk about the mentoring process."We don't have an organized mentoring program but through another program in this campus, which is associated with our undergraduate freshman experience, we have a mentoring program full force. That engages faculty and students. Our mentoring is specialized in that it is focused on their academic area of interest and it's a research project."

Tool 1: "Icebreaker" activities

This activity was suggested by Lisa Rasor, former director of volunteer training at Headquarters Counseling Center, in Lawrence, KS.

Forced choice exercise:

In this exercise, the facilitator puts signs in three different parts of the room. The facilitator will ask the mentors and protégés if they would consider themselves a listener, a talker or a doer. Those are the only three choices, so it's a forced choice--you have to choose one of those areas.

Another possible question is: "Do you consider yourself adventurous, creative or idealistic?" Sometimes, people might say, "Well, I can be any of those." But they still have to choose just one possibility.

And so the groups that gather in those different areas will talk about why they chose that area, why they chose adventurous over idealistic. And then, they will just get to know each other that way with that forced choice, and find some things in common. Then, do a few more sets of those, different sets of forced choices.

Additional forced choice questions include:

• Do you consider yourself compassionate, just, or philosophical?
• Are you a realist, an optimist, or a dreamer?
• Are you punctual, serious, or spontaneous?

Sometimes, mentors and protégés find themselves in groups with different people; sometimes, they'll go through three sets and have one other person that's in all three sets, and they'll go, "Wow, we might have a lot in common." So this can be a very good group building exercise that will help the mentor/protégé relationship in the future.

Tool 2: Evaluation Form

This is a form that will help mentors and protégés evaluate how effective the program and their relationship are.

Evaluation Form

In the interest of anonymity, we ask that you do NOT put your name on this form.

Session Presenter / Facilitator:

Date:

What were your objectives in this program?

 

On a scale of 1 - 5, with 5 being the most useful, how useful did you find this information? 

1                    2                    3                    4                     5

On a scale of 1 - 5, with 5 being excellent, how well presented was this session?

1                    2                    3                    4                     5

What did you like most about this training session?

 

What did you like least about this training session?

 

What would you change about this training session?

 

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

What do we mean by recruiting youth?

Young people bring creativity, knowledge, interests, relationships, and leadership potential to their communities. At the same time, some may face barriers to opportunities, supportive relationships, education, employment, recreation, or other resources that can help them pursue their goals.

A mentoring program can create opportunities for young people to build supportive relationships with caring adults, explore interests, strengthen skills, connect with resources, and work toward goals that matter to them. Mentoring will not be the right fit for every young person, so a thoughtful recruitment strategy should help young people and families understand what the program offers and decide whether they want to participate.

Recruiting youth means actively reaching out to young people who may be interested in your mentoring program, making the opportunity accessible and welcoming, and providing enough information for them to make an informed choice about participation. Recruitment should be ongoing so that new young people can learn about the program as opportunities become available.

Whom should you recruit?

Before recruiting participants, be clear about what your mentoring program is designed to offer. What are its goals? What kinds of mentoring relationships will it provide? What ages or communities does it serve? What activities, opportunities, and supports are available?

Once you understand the purpose of the program, you can decide who may benefit from and be interested in participating. Eligibility criteria should be connected to the program's actual goals rather than based on assumptions that certain young people need to be "fixed" or rescued.

Depending on your program, you might especially want to reach young people who:

• Would like an additional supportive relationship with a trusted adult
• Face economic barriers or have limited access to educational, recreational, career, or community opportunities
• Want to strengthen academic, employment, leadership, technical, creative, or other skills
• Are navigating challenges related to school engagement, attendance, transitions, or educational goals
• Have disabilities or other access needs and would benefit from a mentoring program that provides appropriate accommodations and support
• Are interested in exploring careers, education, hobbies, leadership, community involvement, or other personal goals with a mentor

These are only examples. Your program may serve a broad range of young people rather than focusing on particular barriers or circumstances.

Most important is the young person's interest in participating. Mentoring relationships work best when young people have meaningful choice about whether to join the program and, whenever possible, about what they want from the relationship.

Explain the program clearly, answer questions, and invite participation without pressure. Young people may need encouragement or time to decide, but recruitment should not rely on coercion, shame, or the message that something is "wrong" with them if they do not participate.

Where should you recruit?

Strong community relationships can help you reach young people who may be interested in your mentoring program. Instead of trying to identify young people simply by observing where they "hang out," work through trusted community networks and create opportunities for young people to hear about the program directly.

Connect with organizations and people who already work with young people and families. They may be able to share information about your program, make appropriate referrals, or help you understand what would make the opportunity accessible and appealing.

Possible partners include:

• Schools
• Community and service organizations
• State and local public agencies
• Faith and spiritual communities
• Parents and caregivers
• Teachers and other educators
• School counselors, social workers, and student support staff
• Local mentoring organizations such as Big Brothers Big Sisters
• Pediatricians, family physicians, clinics, and other health professionals
• YMCAs, recreation centers, libraries, and community centers
• Parent-teacher organizations and family engagement groups
• Local businesses and chambers of commerce
• Student organizations and youth clubs
• Boys & Girls Clubs and other youth-serving organizations
• Family counselors, therapists, and behavioral health organizations
• Coaches, arts instructors, and other adults who regularly work with young people
• Local health departments and public health programs

Maintain relationships with referral partners once they are established. Keep them informed about eligibility, available spaces, application procedures, accessibility, transportation, languages offered, and other changes that could affect young people's participation.

How do you recruit youth?

Recruitment should begin once your program is prepared to accept participants and has the mentors, staff, training, safeguards, and resources needed to support them.

Recruitment strategies will vary by community and program, but several basic steps can help you develop an approach that is clear, equitable, and responsive to young people.

Establish eligibility criteria for participating in your program

Develop clear criteria so young people, families, and referral partners understand who the program is designed to serve. Criteria should be relevant to the program's purpose and should not unnecessarily exclude young people who could benefit.

Ask:

• Which young people is our program designed to serve?
• What age range will we serve?
• What goals, interests, barriers, or circumstances is the program prepared to address?
• What supports or accommodations may participants and families need to take part fully?
• Are there any other eligibility requirements that are genuinely necessary for the mentoring model?

Clear information can help young people and families decide whether the program fits what they are looking for.

Create strategies to encourage referrals to your program

Referrals from trusted schools, community organizations, families, health professionals, youth-serving programs, and other partners can be an effective way to reach potential participants.

Start with questions such as:

• Who already has trusted relationships with young people who may be interested in the program?
• How can someone refer or connect a young person to the program? Is the process simple, clear, and accessible?
• How will we explain the program to referral partners so they can describe it accurately?
• What steps will young people and families need to complete before participating?
• How will we make fair decisions if more young people want mentors than the program can currently support?
• How will young people be able to express interest directly rather than needing an adult to refer them?

Strong referral networks depend on communication and trust. Keep partners informed about the program, but avoid asking them to identify young people based only on stereotypes or assumptions about who "needs" mentoring.

Make the program relevant and appealing to young people

Young people are more likely to participate in programs that reflect their interests, goals, schedules, and priorities. Rather than guessing what will appeal to them, ask.

Use youth advisory groups, listening sessions, surveys, informal conversations, or planning meetings to learn what young people would like the mentoring experience to include. Their input might influence activities, meeting formats, locations, communication methods, matching preferences, or the skills and experiences you seek in mentors.

Young people who enjoy the program may also choose to tell friends about it. Peer-to-peer communication can be a useful part of recruitment, but participants should never feel responsible for recruiting others.

Example: Building a mentoring program with community partners

Suppose a local public-safety agency wants to develop a youth mentoring program to strengthen relationships with young people and increase awareness of careers in public service.

Before designing the program, organizers meet with young people, families, schools, and community organizations to learn how young people currently experience the agency, what concerns they have, and what kinds of activities would actually interest them.

Based on that input, the program might include career exploration, recreation, community-service projects, conversations about public safety and community trust, and opportunities for young people to ask questions about the agency's role. Participation would be voluntary, and young people would have ways to provide feedback about their mentors and the program.

The goal would not be to persuade young people to adopt a particular view of the agency, but to create opportunities for relationship building, learning, dialogue, and exploration.

Other activities might include:

• Written, digital, or video exchanges with young people or mentors in another community, when appropriate and safely supervised
• Sports, fitness, recreation, gaming, or outdoor activities for young people who are interested in them
• Art, music, theater, media, design, neighborhood improvement, service, or other creative community projects
• Community exploration, field trips, workplace visits, college visits, cultural events, or other opportunities to learn about local resources and possibilities
• Opportunities to recognize participation, leadership, growth, creativity, collaboration, or contributions to the community

Avoid assuming that all young people enjoy the same activities. Some may be interested in sports, while others prefer art, technology, music, academics, entrepreneurship, service, gaming, outdoor activities, or simply time to talk with a trusted mentor.

Recognition can be meaningful, but it should not create the impression that only a few "outstanding" participants represent success. Programs can recognize many forms of contribution and growth without ranking young people against one another.

Participants who are comfortable doing so may share their experiences with peers through school presentations, videos, social media, newsletters, community events, or other outreach. Their participation should be voluntary, and they should have control over what personal information they share.

Advertise your program

Publicizing the program can help young people, families, and community partners learn about mentoring opportunities. Use communication channels that are actually accessible and relevant to the people you hope to reach.

Options include:

• Promote the program through school announcements, student newsletters, advisory periods, lunch activities, student organizations, or school events
• Share information at youth sports, recreation, arts, gaming, and community events
• Provide clear information to parents and caregivers through schools, community organizations, email, text messages, newsletters, or other communication channels
• Give presentations to schools, youth organizations, libraries, faith communities, businesses, parent groups, community organizations, and other potential partners
• Use printed brochures, posters, or flyers where they are likely to reach interested young people and families
• Use local newspapers, radio, television, podcasts, community newsletters, and other media when appropriate
• Maintain an accessible website or online page describing the program for young people, families, mentors, and referral partners. Include current contact information and a simple way to request more information or express interest in participating.
• Use social media, text messaging, community apps, or other digital channels used by local young people and families, while following appropriate privacy and safeguarding practices

Recruitment materials should describe young people as potential partners and participants, not as problems the program is trying to fix. Show what the program offers: supportive relationships, shared interests, skill-building, leadership, career and education exploration, new experiences, community connection, and opportunities to pursue personal goals.

Pay attention to what is happening in the community and where young people and families already gather. Community fairs, school events, recreation programs, cultural festivals, neighborhood events, libraries, and youth-led activities may all provide opportunities to share information about the program.

Also consider barriers that may prevent participation even when a young person is interested. Transportation, fees, scheduling, disability access, language, childcare responsibilities, technology, family concerns, or uncertainty about the program may all affect participation. Recruitment works best when the program is prepared to reduce these barriers wherever possible.

In Summary

Recruiting young people to a mentoring program is more than identifying who adults think needs help. It means creating an opportunity that young people understand, value, and can choose to participate in.

Begin with a clear purpose and fair eligibility criteria. Build relationships with schools, families, youth-serving organizations, health and community partners, and young people themselves. Make referral and enrollment processes simple and accessible, and ask young people what kinds of mentoring relationships and activities would be meaningful to them.

Most importantly, recruit from a strength-based perspective. Young people come to mentoring programs with interests, knowledge, abilities, relationships, culture, goals, and experiences of their own. A strong recruitment process communicates that mentoring is not about rescuing or correcting them. It is about expanding supportive relationships, opportunities, resources, and possibilities while giving young people meaningful choice in shaping their own experience.

___You understand what recruiting youth is

___You know who you should recruit

___You know where to go to recruit youth

___You know how to recruit youth

___You established qualifying criteria for participation

___You created strategies to encourage referrals

___You created ways to make youths want to participate

___You advertised your program

Example: Recruiting for life

Dean Jones is the program coordinator of the Job Training Partnership Act in South Carolina, a program that provides free employment-training programs for individuals who qualify based on family income. The program takes individuals who are living at or below the national poverty level and find them a job. Some of the programs that Dean has been supervising for nine years are aimed directly at youths, and it gives jobs to about 300 young people every summer. Dean talked to us about his recruiting strategies.

"We do open up the program for anyone who is interested, provided they meet the eligibility. We advertise the program through public notices in the newspaper, the local newspaper, general flyers, brochures, we go out to human service meetings and we present them to the communities. I go out to housing communities. It's kind of an informal recruiting. We receive individuals as they walk in through our doors. "

The summer youth program is for individuals 14 to 21, Dean said. The objective of the program is to provide individuals with academic enrichment courses as well as some entry employment courses and some work experience training. The program also offers incentives that make the youths want to participate. "We hope to provide youth with an opportunity start taking a serious look at their career choices, to provide them with enrichment activities, which upgrade their basic skills during the summer and enable them to be better students while in school during the summer. We also pay them a wage. It also keeps them off the streets having a lot of time on their hands and gives them something structured to do with their summer. We have another program, a year-round one for youths 18 to 21 years old. We provide the same types of training, classroom training and on the job training programs as we do with the other program. During the summer, they receive instruction to upgrade those skills at least one or two grade levels over a period of eight weeks during the summer. Along with that program, we provide an entry employment assignment, where two days a week we provide them with jobs in the public sector in which they gain some work skills. They learn some of the minimal things as far as what's needed in terms of behavior, attendance and punctuality and all of those things that 14 and 15 year olds really need to start knowing that it takes to survive and be productive in the work force."

Students receive wages for classroom time as well as entry employment time. "They learn the concept of working, earning your pay, budgeting and balancing a checkbook. We try to give them a simple but thorough orientation to becoming a productive citizen. We have another type of activity through the Summer Youth program that is a residential program. We have a local college campus that enters into an agreement with us to provide a residential program for youth. We hope to increase awareness of youth, in particular minorities, with career opportunities. The students get an idea as to what type of career they may be able to pursue. It also gives them a brief orientation to the college campus life. They stay on college campus, they live on campus, they have a resident assistant in the dorms just like regular college students do. It may be up to five or six weeks during the summer. Hopefully, it will give them motivation to start taking a look at what they're going to do by the time that they leave for secondary school."

Dean said that teenagers like earning that money during the summer so they can do whatever they want and have fun. ?It gives them just another opportunity to earn the money and to have a job. In the other program during the summer months, we can take 16- to 21-year-olds and provide them with a job during the summer. We have a lot of students and a lot of youth who may not know exactly where the jobs are, or how to go out and get a job. So we go out and get the jobs for them and fill those jobs with the eligible applicants during the summer. And it gives them something they can put on their resume as far as a work history, as well as possibly doing a good job and having that employer to provide them with a reference."

The programs are overall very effective in Dean's opinion. "We're measured on the percentage of individuals that we train and place in employment. We're also measured on how long those individuals stay on the job. So, it's not only providing training, providing some job placement assistance, and putting them to work. It's also about taking a look at three months down the road whether they're still working. It is a good measure of whether or not you provided that individual with some quality skills." Dean said that, personally, he likes to see the change in an individual's life who came through his doors and didn't know what was the next step for them or where they were going to turn as far as receiving some quality skills and being able to obtain a job. "That's something you can't see on paper but something you can visualize and see personally."

Dean said that they try to provide success stories in their newsletters to inform the general public. "We provide them with an objective summary of what works and what doesn't work in the program. We have individuals who come back and provide a personal information to how the program worked for them, some of the things they are able to do now that they wouldn't be able to do had it not been for our program. We also have individuals who may just send in thank you cards and come back maybe two or three years down the road and just say "I want to tell you that you really made a difference and I really do appreciate what you did." We know we can't make a difference in everyone's life but we can just have one individual to come back and say this worked, and we know that it's working for more than just that individual. If we just had one person benefit from the program, it would give us a sense of gratification."

Tool: Recruiting strategy plan

This plan was designed to help you through the beginning of your recruiting. By answering the following questions, you will be able to figure out where and how to start recruiting.

Recruiting Plan

What is your main objective with this recruitment?

How many people do you want to recruit?

Between what ages?

Should the recruits have any specific characteristics (race, education, family income)?

From which area of town do you want to recruit?

Do you want to recruit in a specific income bracket? Between how much?

Where are the places where you can find the recruits you're looking for? (schools, malls, streets)?

How many people will be necessary to do the recruiting? What recruiting strategies will we use?

Where and when is the first recruiting session (in case you'll have one) supposed to be held?

After you contact your recruits, what is going to be our next step?

Do we have a back-up plan?

What do we do if the demand for mentors exceeds the supply?

Which kind of activities are we going to supply to attract youth?

How long is the recruiting process supposed to take?

In how many steps are we going to carry recruiting?

How are we going to do our advertising?

What are going to be criteria for recruiting?

Who should we contact for referrals?

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

Congratulations! You've chosen to take on an important and potentially rewarding responsibility: building a mentoring relationship with a young person. Strong mentoring relationships require patience, consistency, openness, and a willingness to learn. Communication, problem solving, listening, and goal-setting skills can help you build a relationship that is supportive, respectful, and centered on the young person's strengths and goals.

These next sections are for you, the adult mentor. In addition to outlining communication, problem solving, and goal-setting techniques, they'll offer guidance for building and sustaining a healthy mentoring relationship.

Why is your relationship with your mentee important?

Few parts of an intergenerational mentoring program are as important as the quality of the relationship between mentor and mentee. Like any relationship, a strong mentoring relationship does not simply happen. It develops over time through communication, reliability, mutual respect, shared experiences, and effort from both people.

The foundations of the mentoring relationship begin as soon as you meet. The relationship will continue to grow and change as you learn more about one another, so it's worth taking the time to establish trust, clear expectations, and healthy boundaries from the beginning.

How do you build a mentoring relationship with young people?

A number of factors contribute to strong youth mentoring relationships. In this section, we'll discuss attitudes, skills, and practices that can help mentors build supportive relationships while respecting young people's individuality, agency, culture, and goals.

The importance of modeling behaviors

As a mentor, your actions can influence how your mentee experiences the relationship. Young people notice whether adults are reliable, respectful, accountable, and consistent. You do not need to be a perfect role model, but you should try to model the qualities you hope to bring to the mentoring relationship.

Positive practices you can model include:

• Being consistent and reliable
• Using language that is respectful and appropriate to the setting
• Following through on your commitments and communicating promptly when plans need to change
• Being friendly and considerate
• Being helpful without taking over decisions that belong to the young person
• Treating the mentee and others with respect
• Acknowledging mistakes, apologizing when appropriate, and showing that adults continue to learn too

Cultural humility

You and your mentee may differ in race, ethnicity, culture, socioeconomic background, religion, disability, gender identity, sexual orientation, family structure, education, language, age, or life experience. These differences do not prevent a strong mentoring relationship, but they may shape how each of you understands the world and the relationship.

Be aware of your own assumptions and avoid treating your experience as the standard against which your mentee's life should be measured. Your mentee is an individual with strengths, knowledge, values, experiences, and goals of their own.

Cultural humility means remaining open to learning rather than assuming you already understand another person's culture or experience. Ask respectful questions when appropriate, listen to how your mentee describes their own identity and community, and recognize that no single person represents an entire racial, cultural, religious, or social group.

Remember: the mentoring relationship is not a one-way street. Mentors bring knowledge and experience, but mentees do too. A strong relationship gives both people opportunities to learn from one another.

Building trust

Respect for a young person's identity and culture is one part of building trust. Trust also develops through reliability, honesty, boundaries, listening, and follow-through. Your mentee may not trust you immediately, and that is understandable. Trust develops over time.

Here are some ways to support that process:

• Give your mentee time to get to know you. Trust cannot be demanded or rushed.
• Be clear about confidentiality and its limits. Do not promise to keep information private if program policy or law requires you to share certain safety concerns. Explain from the beginning what information may need to be reported and whom you would contact.
• Be sensitive to the responsibilities, stressors, and circumstances your mentee may be managing outside the mentoring relationship, including school, work, caregiving, health, transportation, housing, or family responsibilities.
• Be patient as your mentee navigates adolescence, growing independence, changing relationships, and new responsibilities.
• Be consistent. Reliability can help create a relationship in which your mentee feels comfortable being open with you.
• Show through your words and actions that your mentee's ideas, interests, time, and experiences matter.
• Recognize strengths, effort, growth, and accomplishments sincerely and specifically.
• Share feedback respectfully when it is useful, but avoid treating your role as one of directing or correcting every decision your mentee makes.
• Respect your mentee's growing ability to make their own choices, even when you would choose differently, unless there is a serious safety concern that requires intervention.
• Be sensitive to your mentee's feelings and perspectives. Take responsibility for your own reactions rather than projecting them onto the young person.
• Follow the program's expectations for scheduling and communication. Take appropriate responsibility for staying in contact while also encouraging shared responsibility as the relationship develops.
• Make every reasonable effort to keep planned meetings. If plans change, communicate as early as possible and reschedule when appropriate.
• Notice progress in ways that reflect the young person's own goals and priorities, rather than measuring them only against an adult's expectations.

Trust, like communication, is mutual. Your mentee should be able to rely on you, and you should also give them appropriate opportunities to demonstrate responsibility, make choices, and shape the relationship.

Communication skills

One of the most important things you can contribute as a mentor is a relationship in which a young person feels listened to, respected, and taken seriously. Communication skills take time and practice, and mentors should expect to continue developing them throughout the relationship.

Some important communication skills include:

• Active listening: Giving your attention to what the other person is communicating and checking your understanding rather than assuming you already know what they mean.
• Assertiveness: Expressing your own needs, concerns, and boundaries clearly and respectfully without trying to control the other person.
• Empathy: Making an effort to understand another person's experience and perspective without judgment. Empathy does not require assuming that you know exactly how someone feels.
• Open-mindedness: Recognizing that your mentee may have personal, political, religious, cultural, or other beliefs that differ from yours and that those differences do not need to prevent mutual respect.
• Self-awareness: Recognizing your own assumptions, emotions, limitations, and reactions and taking responsibility for how they affect the relationship.
• Support: Offering encouragement and respect even when you disagree with a particular decision, while recognizing when safety concerns require help from program staff or another qualified person.
• Trust: Being appropriately open, honest, dependable, and willing to listen while maintaining the boundaries expected in a mentoring relationship.

Active listening

As mentioned above, active listening is central to effective communication.

Whenever two people communicate, there is a person sending information, a person receiving it, and a message being communicated. But communication is rarely as simple as the words themselves. People may understand the same statement differently because of context, tone, previous experiences, culture, or expectations.

If you tell your mentee, "I'll meet you at the library at four o'clock," you may believe the message is clear. But if the young person misunderstood the time, missed part of the conversation, or thought you meant a different library, the communication has not worked as intended.

Active listening helps you check your understanding rather than simply assuming the message was received or that you understood everything your mentee meant.

An active listener:

• Pays attention to what the person actually says
• Notices possible emotions but checks rather than assuming: "You sound frustrated. Is that how you're feeling?"
• Pays attention to context, tone, and what the speaker says is important without trying to uncover hidden feelings or motives that the person has not expressed
• Listens for values, priorities, relationships, experiences, and concerns that the speaker chooses to share

The components of active listening:

Active listening can include verbal responses, nonverbal communication, and empathy. Let's look at each of these.

Responding:

To show interest and make sure you understand, respond in ways that help the speaker continue or clarify what they mean.

• Paraphrases: Restate the speaker's meaning in your own words and give them an opportunity to correct you.
  • "So the security guard accused you of taking the shirt even after you explained that it had been paid for. Did I understand that correctly?"
• Feeling reflections: Gently check the emotion you think you are hearing rather than stating it as a fact.
  • "It sounds like that was really frustrating. Is that how it felt to you?"
• Clarifications: Ask questions that help both of you understand the situation more clearly.
  • "Did that happen yesterday?"
• Neutral statements: Use brief responses that show you are following the conversation without taking it over.
  • "I see. Go on."
• Summaries: Pull together the main concerns you have heard and check your understanding.
  • "If I'm understanding you, the situation felt unfair, and you're still trying to decide what you want to do next. Is that right?"

Nonverbal communication:

Nonverbal communication can influence how a conversation feels, but there is no single correct posture, level of eye contact, facial expression, or physical position that demonstrates good listening. Communication styles vary across cultures, personalities, disabilities, and neurotypes.

• Give the person your attention in a way that is natural and respectful. Eye contact can be useful when comfortable for both people, but it should not be treated as a requirement.
• Use a comfortable and attentive posture. Try to avoid behaviors such as repeatedly checking your phone, turning away to do something unrelated, or otherwise signaling that you are not available for the conversation.
• Respect personal space. Sit or stand in whatever arrangement allows both people to feel comfortable. Do not assume that leaning toward someone, sitting close by, or facing them directly will feel supportive to everyone.

Empathy:

Empathy means making a sincere effort to understand another person's experience and perspective without judgment. Avoid assuming you know exactly how your mentee feels. Instead, listen and give them opportunities to explain their own experience.

• Concentrate on what the young person is saying
• Pay attention to tone, facial expressions, body language, and context while remembering that these cues can mean different things for different people
• Check your understanding of feelings or values rather than stating them as facts
• Summarize the important issues you heard and give your mentee a chance to correct or add to your understanding

Communication pitfalls - what not to do:

Good listening encourages communication and understanding. Some common responses, however, can make a young person feel dismissed, pressured, or judged and may make them less willing to continue sharing.

Common pitfalls include:

• Interrupting while someone is talking
• Arguing with or repeatedly challenging every point the other person makes
• Blaming another person for your own emotions or reactions
• Responding with judgment before understanding the situation
• Demanding that someone act or think the way you would
• Dismissing a person's right to their own opinions, values, or priorities
• Giving advice immediately instead of first asking whether the person wants advice, ideas, information, or simply someone to listen
• Jumping to conclusions
• Pressuring someone to disclose information before they're ready
• Sharing private information outside the limits established by the program

Most people fall into some of these habits occasionally. The important thing is to notice them, repair the conversation when necessary, and keep practicing more respectful ways of listening and responding.

Problem solving

Problem solving in a mentoring relationship means helping your mentee understand a concern, explore possibilities, consider consequences, and decide what they want to do. The mentor's role is not to take over the problem or make every decision for the young person.

One possible problem-solving process is:

• Exploring the concern: Give your mentee space to describe the situation in their own words
• Understanding the situation: Use open-ended questions to learn more about the circumstances, people involved, emotions, barriers, strengths, priorities, and available resources
• Clarifying the problem: Work together to identify the part of the situation the young person most wants to address
• Brainstorming options: Identify several possible ways forward without immediately judging them
• Considering options: Discuss possible benefits, risks, barriers, resources, and consequences associated with each option
• Choosing what to do: Support your mentee in deciding which option best fits their values, goals, circumstances, and safety. Respect their decision whenever it falls within reasonable safety and program boundaries
• Taking action and following up: Identify any next steps and decide what support, information, or resources may be useful. Later, check in about how things went and whether the plan needs to change

Mentors should also recognize when an issue goes beyond the mentoring role. Serious safety concerns, abuse, self-harm, exploitation, medical or mental health crises, legal issues, or other situations may require program staff or qualified professionals rather than informal problem solving between mentor and mentee.

Take time to strengthen your communication and problem-solving skills. They will be important throughout the mentoring relationship.

What do you do when things don't work out?

Despite everyone's best efforts, not every mentoring match will work well. A mentor and mentee may have different expectations, schedules, communication styles, interests, or relationship needs. Sometimes the match simply doesn't feel comfortable or useful to one or both people.

Do not assume that differences in culture or identity are themselves the problem. If differences are creating misunderstandings, seek support from program staff, communicate openly, and consider whether greater cultural humility, clearer expectations, or another approach could strengthen the relationship.

When difficulties arise, involve program staff rather than expecting the mentor or young person to resolve everything alone. Sometimes expectations can be clarified or the relationship can be repaired. In other situations, changing or ending the match may be the healthiest option.

Ending a mentoring relationship should not be framed as a failure or as something the young person caused. If possible, discuss the transition respectfully, acknowledge the relationship and what both people contributed, and make sure the young person understands what will happen next.

If your mentee shares or you observe concerns involving abuse or neglect, self-harm, violence, exploitation, substance use, serious mental health needs, or another significant safety issue, contact program staff promptly and follow the program's safeguarding, referral, and reporting procedures. Do not try to diagnose the situation or manage it alone.

If the mentoring relationship itself has become a barrier to the young person's well-being or goals, program staff can help determine whether the match should be changed and how to make the transition as supportive as possible.

In Summary

Building a mentoring relationship takes time, patience, communication, and mutual effort. Strong relationships are built through reliability, respect, listening, healthy boundaries, cultural humility, shared learning, and attention to the young person's interests and goals.

You will not always know exactly what to say or do, and not every mentoring relationship will develop in the same way. Stay open to feedback, ask for support from program staff when needed, and remember that your role is not to direct or "fix" your mentee. It is to build a dependable relationship in which the young person feels respected, supported, and able to pursue goals that matter to them.

___You know why your relationship with your protégé is important

___You know how to build a mentoring relationship with youths

___You are consistent and reliable

___You use correct English

___You do not use profanity

___You keep your word

___You are friendly and polite

___You are helpful and respectful

___You know the steps for building trust

___You know the keys to good communication

___You know what active listening is

___You understand the steps to problem solving

___You know what to do when things don't work out

Example: Personal testimonies

A school-based program to connect caring adults with youths in Kansas City conducted a satisfaction survey with their volunteer mentors.

Some of the answers from that survey illustrate how important and rewarding it is to mentor youths:

• "They [the children] have the opportunity to interact with adults. Hopefully, we serve as role models for these children. They know they have a friend that will listen to them."

• "It has been interesting and fun working with the children. I have learned so much from them and I think they've learned a few things from me, too."

• "It was a successful experience for both of us. They experience people who care about them. My protégé is going to Middle School next year and she called me at work to say she didn't want to lose me."

• "It makes [the children] feel better about themselves and hopefully will help them in their approach to their school work."

• "It increases their feeling of self-worth. Gives them someone to talk to. The children are wonderful and I get more from them then I give."

• "It gives them the opportunity to communicate their ideas, wants, fears, and experiences to an adult who has made time just form them. It gives them a sense of being special and the knowledge that they are important."

• "A lasting friendship has developed."

• "The kids were benefited greatly and looked forward to our meetings. They provided opportunity to grow in a positive manner."

• "Feedback from the teacher on improvements seen in the students made the experience very rewarding."

• "My tutoring was reading. We set a goal --and we made it! I feel my student looked forward to our sessions, he was well prepared. I think he benefited from the experience."

• "I feel the students get the attention they might be lacking. I feel it is a positive influence for the students."

Tool: Active listening

As we come to understand ourselves and our relationships with others better, we rediscover that "communication is not just saying words; it is creating true understanding." Active listening is an important skill in that process. Chances are that those who influence us most are powerful listeners. Whether instinctively or through practice, they have developed the skill of empathy. This activity comes from the Center for Rural Studies.

This exercise will help you practice some of basic active-listening skills:

• Attending Skills (verbal and non-verbal)
• Questions, Reflections, Summarization
• Skills of Self-expression: "1-2-3 Pattern"
• Practice Session on Effective Confrontation

The group should be divided into subgroups of three. There will be three roles in each subgroup: speaker, listener, and observer. Everyone will take each role once in this practice, so divide into your subgroup and decide who is going to take which role first.

Directions:

Objective - The point of the practice session is to give each person the opportunity to learn how to use verbal and non-verbal minimal encouragers and become a better listener.

To the speaker - Your task is to talk about something that is important to you: your job, your family, a decision, or a question. The practice will be more helpful if you talk about something you really care about, although role-playing is possible. You may find yourself in the midst of discussing something important when the allotted time runs out. If this happens, you could make an agreement with the person listening to carry on later, after work or during a break.

To the listener - Your task is to practice the skills of the session: eye contact, body language, silences, and verbal minimal encouragers. Don't panic! Just concentrate on following the speaker's train of thought. Try to limit your responses to the skills discussed in this session.

To the observer - Your task is to observe the listener's verbal and non-verbal skills. Observe and count only as many behaviors (eye contact, body posture, verbal minimal encouragers, topic jumps) as you can manage and still be relatively accurate.

Procedure:

The first speaker will talk with the listener for three or four minutes. The listener will then discuss the listening experience with the two other members of the subgroup. (To the listener: What was comfortable? What was difficult? Did you stay with the speaker?) Then the speaker will share his or her feelings about the listener's listening. (To the speaker: Did you feel listened to? Was it helpful? Did the listener have any habits you found distracting?) The observer will then share observations. This sharing process should take about three or four minutes.

Now everyone change places. Have the listener become the speaker, the speaker the observer, and the observer the listener. Go through the five minutes of talking and listening and five minutes of exchanging remarks twice more so that each person takes each role once. The entire practice session should take about 25 minutes.

When you are finished, form a large group. Your facilitator will help you share your practice experiences. How are these skills relevant to your work? Where else would they be useful? Go around the group, so that the participants have a chance to share at least one thing they have learned about themselves in this practice session.

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

• Why is goal setting important for young people?

• When should young people set goals?

• How do young people set goals?

• Planning for action

• How do you review and adjust mentoring goals?

Why is goal setting important for young people?

Everyone has strengths, interests, aspirations, responsibilities, and challenges that shape the path toward what they want to accomplish. Goal setting can help young people identify what matters to them, recognize the strengths and resources they can draw on, anticipate possible barriers, and develop realistic plans for moving forward.

Goal setting can also provide focus and direction within a mentoring relationship. Once you and your mentee have had time to build trust and get to know one another, you can begin discussing goals the young person wants to work toward and how the mentoring relationship might support them.

• You may wish to develop a shared mentoring plan that identifies personal, social, educational, career, or other goals for the short term -- such as the next month, six months, or year -- as well as longer-term aspirations
• You and your mentee can periodically review progress, discuss what has been learned, and decide whether the goals or strategies should change
• You can recognize and celebrate progress, effort, accomplishments, and milestones along the way

When should young people set goals?

Many mentoring programs are designed to help young people pursue goals that matter to them. Although it may seem natural to begin formal goal setting immediately, it can be helpful to first establish a relationship in which the young person feels respected, listened to, and comfortable sharing what matters to them.

Some goal-setting tools ask people to reflect on school, family, relationships, skills, interests, challenges, or future plans. These questions can feel personal, time-consuming, or overwhelming, particularly if the format does not match the young person's communication, literacy, language, disability, or learning needs.

For that reason, do not rush formal goal setting simply because a form or program schedule says it should happen. You can still have informal conversations about interests, hopes, priorities, and things the young person would like to change or explore while the relationship is developing.

Most importantly, the goals should belong to the young person. They should understand that you are there to support their thinking, not to assign goals or pressure them into choices they do not value. Taking time to build trust can lead to goals that are more meaningful, realistic, and motivating.

How do young people set goals?

The central principle is that your mentee's goals should reflect their own interests, priorities, and aspirations rather than goals someone else has chosen for them.

Even ambitious goals deserve to be taken seriously. Your role can be to help the young person explore what the goal means to them and identify smaller steps that could move them in that direction. For example, someone interested in leading a business someday might first explore career pathways, strengthen relevant skills, meet people working in the field, or pursue educational opportunities connected to that goal.

Characteristics goals should have

Strong goals are often:

• Clear: The young person can describe what they want to accomplish and what progress toward the goal might look like.
• Meaningful: The goal matters to the young person and connects with their interests, priorities, values, or aspirations.
• Achievable: The goal is realistic enough to work toward while still providing an appropriate challenge. Large goals can often be divided into smaller steps.
• Within the young person's influence: Some outcomes depend partly on other people or circumstances, so it can be useful to focus on actions the young person can take. For example, they cannot guarantee that an employer will offer them a job, but they can prepare a resume, complete applications, practice interviewing, and seek guidance from people they trust.
• Trackable: The young person can identify signs of progress. These might include completing particular steps, developing a new skill, reaching a milestone, or meeting a specific outcome.
• Personally relevant: The goal should be something the young person genuinely wants to pursue, not simply something they believe an adult expects from them.
• Supportive of well-being and growth: Goals should contribute positively to the young person's development and should not involve harming themselves or others.

Common methods used in preparing young people for goal setting:

There are many ways you and your mentee can prepare for goal setting. The best approach will depend on the young person's age, interests, communication style, preferences, and the type of mentoring relationship you have.

A note: Some goal-setting surveys and worksheets are long and ask young people to reflect on many areas of their lives. Some participants may find this useful and thought-provoking; others may find the forms tiring, overly personal, inaccessible, or simply not a good fit.

If a standard form does not work well, adapt the process. You might divide it across several meetings, shorten the questions, discuss them verbally, use visual or digital tools, or select only the sections that are relevant to the young person's goals.

You and your mentee can also create your own goal-setting process together. This can be especially useful because the young person helps decide what questions matter, what format feels comfortable, and what kind of planning will actually help them. Goal setting then becomes a collaborative process rather than another task assigned by an adult.

• Youth priorities and interests survey: A questionnaire or discussion guide that helps the young person reflect on areas such as relationships, school, work, interests, health, community involvement, skills, goals, and other parts of life that matter to them. For an example, see the Tools section.
• Strengths and skills inventory: A survey, conversation, or activity that helps the young person identify skills, knowledge, interests, experiences, and areas they may want to develop further. In the Tools section, you can find a sample inventory.

You and your mentee may choose to complete these activities together. Once the young person has had an opportunity to reflect, you can discuss their priorities and preferences.

During this discussion, you can:

• Identify strengths, interests, goals, available resources, and barriers that may affect progress
• Develop short- and long-term objectives connected to the young person's priorities
• Brainstorm different strategies the young person might use to reach those objectives
• Decide what first step feels manageable and useful
• Discuss how the young person would like to recognize or celebrate progress
• Decide how progress will be reviewed and when it might make sense to adjust the goal or strategy

The result of the discussion may be an action plan that includes short- and long-term objectives, possible timelines, strategies, people or organizations who may be able to help, useful resources, and ways to recognize progress. Each action plan should reflect the individual young person rather than following a one-size-fits-all model.

During goal setting, your role is to help your mentee recognize their strengths, clarify what matters to them, identify possible barriers and supports, and break larger goals into manageable steps. Goals should be realistic enough to make progress possible while still providing opportunities for growth and learning.

Some of the most valuable tools you can bring to goal setting are:

• Respect -- let the young person help determine the direction and priorities of the goal-setting process
• Patience -- give the young person time to think, reconsider, and make decisions
• Encouragement -- recognize effort, initiative, learning, and progress without taking ownership of the goal away from the young person

Goal setting is an ongoing process. You, your mentee, and program staff may periodically review how the mentoring relationship is supporting the young person's goals. If a strategy is not working, that does not necessarily mean the young person has failed. You can reconsider the goal, identify new barriers or resources, adjust the timeline, or try a different approach.

Planning for action

After your mentee identifies a goal they want to pursue, you can work together on an action plan. A useful action plan breaks a goal into practical steps and helps anticipate the supports or barriers that may affect progress.

You may want to discuss:

• What actions or steps may help move toward the goal
• Who will take each action, if people other than the young person are involved
• When the steps might happen
• What resources, information, accommodations, or support may be needed
• What barriers or challenges might arise and how the young person could respond
• Which people, organizations, or resources might be useful to involve

You do not necessarily need a separate action plan for every concern or issue identified in a survey. Focus on the goals the young person identifies as most important and manageable at that time.

How do you review and adjust mentoring goals?

Goals may change throughout the mentoring relationship. A goal may turn out to be more difficult than expected, easier than expected, no longer relevant, or less important than something new that emerges. Changing a goal can be a sign of learning rather than failure.

You and your mentee can periodically review what has happened, what is working, what has changed, and what the young person wants to do next.

Some approaches include:

• Encourage your mentee to track progress in whatever way is useful to them. For an academic goal, this might include assignments, attendance, study habits, or grades. For other goals, a checklist, journal, calendar, app, portfolio, photo record, or conversation may work better.
• If the young person wants to document progress, help them choose a method they control and are comfortable using. Avoid keeping unnecessary records about the mentee without their knowledge.
• Periodically review progress together. Discuss successes, setbacks, new information, changes in circumstances, and whether the goal, timeline, or strategy should be adjusted.

Celebrating successes

Recognizing progress can help make goal setting encouraging and meaningful. Celebrate effort, learning, persistence, milestones, and accomplishments in ways that feel appropriate to the young person.

Ways you might celebrate include:

• Setting aside a meeting for an activity the young person enjoys
• Holding a program gathering, picnic, or recognition event that celebrates participants' contributions and growth
• Offering a certificate, note, or other form of recognition when the young person would appreciate it
• Giving an appropriate small gift or experience if program policy allows and the young person values that form of recognition
• Sharing accomplishments in a program newsletter, website, or other communication only with the young person's permission
• Offering sincere and specific encouragement that recognizes effort, learning, and progress

Different young people will prefer different kinds of recognition. Some may enjoy public celebration, while others may prefer a private conversation, shared activity, or simple acknowledgment. Ask what feels meaningful rather than assuming everyone wants the same kind of reward.

Remember that progress is not always linear. A setback does not erase earlier growth, and a young person does not need to reach every goal for the mentoring relationship to have value.

In Summary

Goal setting can help young people identify what matters to them and turn broad hopes or interests into practical steps. Effective goals are meaningful to the young person, realistic enough to pursue, flexible enough to change, and connected to the strengths, resources, relationships, and opportunities available to them.

The mentor's role is not to decide what the young person should accomplish. It is to listen, ask questions, help identify possibilities and resources, support planning, and encourage reflection as circumstances change.

Goal setting works best as an ongoing, collaborative process. Goals may evolve, timelines may change, and different strategies may be needed along the way. By respecting the young person's choices and recognizing both progress and learning, mentors can help make goal setting a useful part of a supportive mentoring relationship.

___You know why it is important for youth to set goals

___You know when youth should set goals

___You know how to set youth goals

___You know common methods to prepare youth goal setting

___You know how to plan for action

___You understand how do you review and adjust mentoring goals

___You know the importance of celebrating successes

Example: Completed action plan form

Goal Setting

1/4/2013

Initiative:

Date:

Action step or change to be accomplished:

To get an A in Algebra

What actions or changes will occur:

Parents and guardians who contribute (by helping with homework, and creating good study environment); will study more and dedicate more hours to algebra; will take fewer breaks and watch less TV in order to study more.

Who will carry it out:

Me (the protégé) with the help of my mentor and parents.

By when (for how long):

Start as soon as possible and carry it out until algebra grades substantially improve.

What resources are needed:

Books, school material, time, and recognition from parents and mentor. Celebration after accomplishments.

Communication (who should know what):

Parents and mentor must be aware of the developments and status of this action plan so that they can provide support and recognition.

Tool 1: A contract for your relationship

A mentor/protégé contract is a tool for discussion. Since communication is essential to any relationships, it can help you clarify expectations on many issues before conflict arises.

Use this contract in the following manner:

• Respond to every question with your preferences. Being honest now will save time and hurt feelings later
• Examine and discuss your differences, focusing and understanding the reasons behind answers that are different from yours
• Try to agree on a way to compromise or resolve those differences now, before conflicts arise
• Write down your agreements

Mentor/protégé contract

Relationship

• Are you willing to trust your mentor?
• Are you willing to trust your protégé?
• How many times a week are the protégé and mentor supposed to meet?
• During these meetings, what are they supposed to do? (talk, go to the movies, study?)
• How much time will be allotted for study? How much time will be allotted for fun activities?

Personal

• Where are the meetings supposed to take place?
• What is an activity that you love doing?
• What is an activity that you hate doing?
• Are you outgoing? Would you rather go out or stay home?
• What do you like to talk about?
• What do you hate to talk about?
• What's your favorite type of movie? What's your favorite type of music?

Education

• In which area of study are mentor and protégé going to focus first?
  • And later?
• What is going to be the method of measuring progress?
• How are mentor and protégé going to celebrate good results?

Tool 2: Action Plan form

Initiative	Date
Action step or change to be accomplished:
What actions or changes will occur:
Who will carry it out:
By when (for how long):
What resources are needed:
Communications (who should know what):

Tool 3: Youth concerns review

This is a questionnaire that asks the youths to evaluate certain aspects of their lives such as family and social relationships, school achievement, and personal capacities.

The purpose of this guide is to help protégés think about their dreams and goals and how to reach them. The protégé may complete this by him or herself or with a mentor, parent, friend, or someone who cares about him or her.

The questions in the first part ask the protégé to think about personal resources and the challenges to be faced. The second set of questions is supposed to help identify what is important to the youth and what he would like to change. Then the youth chooses the most important goals and thinks about how to meet those goals.

PART ONE

Dreams for My Life

Spend some time thinking about your dreams for your future, or your goals in life. Some of these may be short term (you want to do them in the next few months or a year). Others might be longer term (you will need more than a year to accomplish them).

How would you like your life to look overall?

Start by thinking of the big picture. What are your dreams and goals for your life in general? Write down your ideas here.

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do you see yourself doing in the following areas soon? Later?

Now think about specific areas of your life. Write down your short-term and long -term goals in each of the following areas.

• How far do you hope to go in school? What type of education do you want?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kind of job do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What are your dreams for health? For security and being safe?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kind of family life do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kinds of friendships and personal relationships do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What types of fun and recreation do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What are your dreams for living on your own or being independent?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In what ways do you hope to be involved in your community?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What sort of spiritual life do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Assets and Strengths

Skills and Experience:

Take a few minutes to think about your skills and experiences. Please circle the items from the list below that identify skills and experiences of which you are proud. Then write down an example or an explanation for each item you circle. At the end, write in skills and experiences that you value, but are not listed.

• I can read well _____________________________________________________
• I can write well _____________________________________________________
• I can speak a different language _______________________________________
• I am good at math __________________________________________________
• I can use computers ________________________________________________
• I can drive well _____________________________________________________
• I can paint or draw __________________________________________________
• I can organize things ________________________________________________
• I can fix things _____________________________________________________
• I can play with children ______________________________________________
• I can care for children _______________________________________________
• I can play sports ___________________________________________________
• I can build things___________________________________________________
• I can cook ________________________________________________________
• I can sew/knit/crochet _______________________________________________
• I can grow plants ___________________________________________________
• I can target shoot well _______________________________________________
• I can hunt well _____________________________________________________
• I can talk with friends and family _______________________________________
• I have lived in other countries __________________________________________
• I have held a job ____________________________________________________
• I can play a musical instrument well _____________________________________
• I can do arts and crafts well ____________________________________________
• I care for animals well ________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________

Personal Qualities:

Take a few minutes to think about your personal qualities. What characteristics do you have? How do you act toward others? Please circle the items from the list below that identify personal qualities of which you are proud. Then write in an explanation or example for each item you circle. At the end, write in any personal qualities that you value, but may not be listed.

• I am caring of others _________________________________________________
• I am courteous/respectful of others ______________________________________
• I am religious/spiritual ________________________________________________
• I am kind to others ___________________________________________________
• I am cheerful toward others ____________________________________________
• I am tolerant of others ________________________________________________
• I can be trusted by friends and family _____________________________________
• I am loyal to my family and friends _______________________________________
• I am helpful to others _________________________________________________
• I am friendly toward others _____________________________________________
• I am responsible ____________________________________________________
• I am sensitive _______________________________________________________
• I am loving ________________________________________________________
• I am up-front with people _______________________________________________
• I am direct _________________________________________________________
• I am honest ________________________________________________________
• I am shy/quiet ______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________

My Challenges

Take a few minutes to think about possible barriers or obstacles that may be holding you back from doing things you want. Please circle the items from the list below that identify those barriers or obstacles. Then write down an explanation or example for each item you circle. At the end, write in any barriers or obstacles that you encounter, but are not listed.

• It's hard for me to read _________________________________________________
• It's hard for me to write ________________________________________________
• It's hard for me to add or subtract _________________________________________
• It's hard for me to find the time to do some things ____________________________
• It's hard for me to get organized __________________________________________
• It's hard for me to get places _____________________________________________
• It's hard for me to pay for things I want______________________________________
• It's hard for me to make new friends _______________________________________
• It's hard for me to understand what people say and do _________________________
• It's hard for me to talk with some people ____________________________________
• It's hard for me to get people to understand me _______________________________
• It's hard for me to stay out of jail __________________________________________
• I experience discrimination ______________________________________________
• I experience violence __________________________________________________
• I experience abuse or neglect _____________________________________________
• I experience drug or alcohol abuse _________________________________________
• I experience poverty ___________________________________________________
• I experience a disability ________________________________________________
• I experience fear _____________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________

Please take a few minutes to look back over the last section where you circled your strengths and abilities. Keep those qualities in mind as you go on to Part Two.

PART TWO:

Determining what is important to you

To set goals for yourself, you may work by yourself or with a mentor, parent, or friend to answer the questions that follow. Please go through each issue in every area and answer the following questions:

• Is this issue one that I care about?
• Am I where I want to be with this issue?

Next to each issue in the list are two columns where you circle your answer:

• In the left-hand column, circle "No" if you don't care about the issue; or circle "Yes" if you do care about the issue.
• In the right-hand column, circle "Yes" if you would like to do better at or with the issue; or circle "No" if you don't feel you need to do better at or with the issue, or if doing better at or with the issue is unimportant to you.

At the end of each section under the heading "Other", you will find space to write down any other issue that you think is important.

	I care about:		I would like to do better at:
Education and Training
Getting a high school diploma or GED	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having good grades	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a college degree	Yes	No	Yes	No
Going to tech / trade school	Yes	No	Yes	No
Passing a specific class	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting to the next grade	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having better attendance	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having good test scores	Yes	No	Yes	No
Joining in extracurricular activities	Yes	No	Yes	No
Learning and understanding things	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having the skills I need to get a good job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my teachers	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my classmates	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Work
Getting part-time work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting full-time work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting on-the-job training, or becoming an apprentice in a job I want	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a better job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting another job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Starting a business	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being at work on time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Doing better at my work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting more done at my job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my boss	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with other workers	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting more respect for my work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a raise	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Health and Safety
Exercising more	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not using tobacco	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not doing drugs or drinking	Yes	No	Yes	No
Feeling good about myself	Yes	No	Yes	No
Eating well (eating healthy food)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Eating less junk food and fast food	Yes	No	Yes	No
Avoiding STDs and HIV/AIDS	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not getting hurt or killed	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not hurting or killing anyone	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to go to a doctor	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to go to a dentist	Yes	No	Yes	No
Looking and feeling good	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting vaccinated against diseases	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not feeling sad or badly about myself	Yes	No	Yes	No
Wearing seat belts and a bike helmet (when applicable)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting enough sleep	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not driving drunk	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not riding with a drunk driver	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Relationships
Having more friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Making better friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having friends who are good for me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more accepted	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more assertive	Yes	No	Yes	No
Communicating better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time with adults	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being around people who care for me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time with friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having different kinds of friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a better listener	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good friend	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good sister / brother	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with people	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Family
Getting along better with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Staying away from sexual or physical abuse	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being treated well at home	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting to know my family better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to express anger without being violent	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using discipline without violence	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using discipline that is fair and consistent	Yes	No	Yes	No
Making rules that are reasonable	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having my family show me they care about me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Showing my family that I care about them	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having family traditions and celebrations	Yes	No	Yes	No
Doing more things with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to talk and share my feelings with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Recreation and Leisure
Enjoying my free time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having more free time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Playing more sports	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending time doing things I like to do	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending time doing arts and crafts	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time outside	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having safe, late-night activities to do	Yes	No	Yes	No
Finding a hobby	Yes	No	Yes	No
Joining an organization	Yes	No	Yes	No
Meeting people with the same interests	Yes	No	Yes	No
Trying something new	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Independent Living
Living on my own	Yes	No	Yes	No
Developing my own interests	Yes	No	Yes	No
Managing my money	Yes	No	Yes	No
Learning how to enjoy being alone	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to get around (such as on a bus, bike, train, etc.).	Yes	No	Yes	No
Taking better care of my stuff	Yes	No	Yes	No
Paying my bills on time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Reducing my expenses	Yes	No	Yes	No
Finding a good place to live	Yes	No	Yes	No
Planning better for future bills	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting things I need around the house	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting food for my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Community Involvement
Volunteering or becoming a volunteer	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good neighbor	Yes	No	Yes	No
Helping others	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting involved in solving problems in my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Knowing more about my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using more community resources (such as parks and recreation programs)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Voting	Yes	No	Yes	No
Participating in community activities	Yes	No	Yes	No
Changing / influencing my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Helping others get involved in the community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good role model	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spiritual Development
Joining a church / mosque / synagogue	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more active in my religious group	Yes	No	Yes	No
Practicing my faith better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Understanding my religion better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Showing that I care about other people	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more accepting of others	Yes	No	Yes	No
Treating others as I want to be treated	Yes	No	Yes	No

Once the youth has finished this section, a mentor, parent, or other caring adult should help them with the remaining sections.

PART THREE:

Recognizing Personal Strengths

These are issues that the youth should feel proud of and needs to work on to maintain and protect.

After the youth has finished answering the questions in part two, it is time to select his or her strengths and concerns. Go back to the question section and help the youth find the items where he or she circled Yes (indicating that he or she does care about the issue) and No (indicating that he or she doesn't feel the need to do better at the issue). These items are personal strengths. Go back to the questions section and use your protégés responses to help him or her identify his or her personal strengths.

Copy from Part Two those personal strengths that the youth agrees on:

Encourage the youth to celebrate and share these strengths with others!

Identifying Personal Concerns / Problem Areas

To identify possible personal problem areas, the youth should go back to the question section and draw a ring around any issues where the circles are side by side.

Those items where the youth circled Yes that he or she does care about the issue and Yes that he or she would like to do better at the issue are possible areas of concern that the youth can work on to improve. Review them and list below all those items of concern that the youth wants to do something about soon.

When choosing the main issues, the young person should think about the following:

• Issues that may help the youth plan for the future
• Issues that the youth can do something about
• Issues that the youth is ready to work on
• Issues that would seriously affect his or her well-being if he or she doesn't work on it

Go back over the questions in Part Two and write below the issues that the youth may want to work on:

Prioritizing Personal Concerns

Before the youth can begin planning to reach goals for each item, he or she needs to prioritize the problems and rank them according to their importance. The youth should rank the list of issues by him or herself, with 1 being the highest priority.

After the issues have been ranked, the youth and mentor should discuss the list and why issues are in that order.

For example, an individual has ranked the following seven items:

Item	Rank
Volunteering or becoming a volunteer	6
Getting enough sleep	7
Being at work on time	4
Not doing drugs or drinking	1
Being a good friend	3
Practicing my faith better	5
Having good grades	2

• In the chart, have the youth fill in the issues listed above as Personal Concerns / Problem Areas
• Then, have the youth think about each issue by itself, asking the following questions:
  • How important is this issue?
  • Does it need to be dealt with right away or can it wait?
  • Does this issue affect others as well? (If so, it may be more important)

Item	Rank

Planning for Action

After your protégé has finished identifying his or her goals, it's time to talk about an action plan for meeting those priorities. A good action plan helps us recognize all the steps we need to take to meet our goals. It also helps us be ready for difficulties we might face when trying to meet goals.

You will want to discuss:

• What actions are needed to reach the goal
• Who will take the actions (someone else besides the youth may be involved)
• When the actions will happen
• Resources and support needed to take the actions
• Difficulties your protégé might face in taking the actions
• People your protégé should talk to about his or her plans

Help your protégé make an action plan for each of the top priority issues he or she identifies.

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

WHY GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

As with any type of service or community program, you'll want to monitor your mentoring program and gather feedback about how it is working. Feedback should come from both mentors and mentees and, when appropriate, from families, program staff, and other partners.

Monitoring your program can:

• Help you evaluate how well the program is meeting its goals
• Identify areas of the program that could be strengthened or improved
• Help you determine whether your program goals and activities continue to reflect the priorities of participants
• Help you better support the needs, strengths, goals, and experiences of mentors and mentees
• Help you identify concerns in the program or mentoring relationships at an early stage
• Help you understand whether participants feel respected, safe, included, and able to raise concerns
• Identify barriers related to transportation, accessibility, scheduling, communication, matching, or other aspects of participation

Feedback is most useful when participants understand how it will be used and when the program demonstrates that their input can lead to meaningful changes.

WHEN DO YOU GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

Monitoring and gathering feedback should be ongoing. Begin early enough that problems or concerns can be identified before they become more difficult to address, and continue throughout the mentoring relationship.

Feedback can be gathered at planned intervals -- for example, shortly after a match begins, periodically throughout the relationship, and when a match ends. Program staff should also make it clear that mentors and mentees can raise concerns at any time rather than waiting for a scheduled evaluation.

The frequency of check-ins will depend on your program, the age of participants, the mentoring model, and the level of support each match needs.

HOW DO YOU GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

There are a number of ways to monitor your mentoring program. Using more than one method can give you a fuller picture of how the program and individual mentoring relationships are working.

GROUP DISCUSSION

Mentor-mentee pairs can meet periodically with program staff to discuss what they have been doing together, what has worked well, what they have learned, and whether anything should change. They may also discuss disagreements or challenges and how they have addressed them.

Joint discussions can be useful, but they should not be the only source of feedback. A young person may be less comfortable raising concerns about a mentor while that mentor is present. Programs should also provide opportunities for mentors and mentees to speak separately with staff.

Group discussions involving several mentoring pairs can also be useful for identifying broader program strengths, common barriers, activity ideas, and areas where participants would like additional support or training. Protect individual privacy when discussing specific relationships.

INDIVIDUAL INTERVIEWS OR CHECK-INS

Program coordinators should meet or communicate regularly with both mentors and mentees. Early in a match, more frequent check-ins may be helpful. As the relationship becomes established, the frequency can be adjusted based on participant needs and program policy.

Separate check-ins give each person an opportunity to speak freely about the relationship. Staff should explain what information will remain private and any limits to confidentiality related to safety, safeguarding, or reporting requirements.

Questions for mentors might include:

• What kinds of activities have you and your mentee been doing together?
• What parts of the relationship have been most meaningful or satisfying?
• What has been challenging, and what support would be helpful?
• What activities or approaches seem to strengthen the relationship?
• Are there any boundaries, communication issues, scheduling concerns, or situations you'd like help thinking through?
• Do you feel you have the training, information, and program support you need?

Questions for mentees might include:

• What have you and your mentor been doing together?
• What do you enjoy or value about the relationship?
• Do you feel your mentor listens to you and respects your ideas, identity, boundaries, and goals?
• Do you feel comfortable telling your mentor when you disagree or don't want to do something?
• Are there activities you would like to do more or less often?
• Is there anything about the relationship that makes you uncomfortable or that you would like program staff to help change?
• Do you want to continue with this mentor, make changes to the match, or explore another option?

Whenever possible, give young people more than one way to provide feedback. Some may prefer a conversation, while others may be more comfortable with a short survey, text-based check-in, online form, or another accessible method.

SURVEYS OR QUESTIONNAIRES

Short surveys can help you gather consistent information from mentors and mentees about program experiences, relationship quality, accessibility, satisfaction, safety, and progress toward participant-defined goals.

Keep surveys clear and manageable. Make them available in accessible formats and relevant languages when needed. Avoid asking for personal information unless it has a clear purpose, and tell participants how their responses will be used and protected.

Anonymous or confidential surveys may also help participants raise concerns they would be uncomfortable sharing directly.

LOGBOOKS OR JOURNALS

Mentors may find it useful to keep brief notes about meetings, activities, questions for program staff, or their own learning as mentors. The program should clearly define what information mentors are expected to document and what should not be recorded.

Avoid keeping unnecessary sensitive information about mentees. Personal disclosures, diagnoses, family information, or other private details should not be recorded simply because they came up during a mentoring conversation.

If program staff need access to mentoring records, participants should understand what information is being documented, who can access it, and how it will be protected. Records should be stored securely and retained only as long as necessary under program policy.

Photographs, videos, or other identifying records should be collected or shared only with appropriate permission and according to organizational policy. Young people's accomplishments do not need to be documented visually in order to count as meaningful progress.

COMMON MENTOR-MENTEE CONCERNS THAT FEEDBACK CAN IDENTIFY

Feedback can help identify concerns within a mentoring relationship before they become more difficult to address. The goal is not to assign blame to the mentor or mentee, but to understand what is happening and determine what support or changes may be needed.

THE MENTORING MATCH IS NOT WORKING WELL

Not every mentoring match develops into a strong relationship. Mentors and mentees may have different expectations, communication styles, schedules, interests, or preferences, or the relationship may simply not feel like a good fit.

Avoid assuming that cultural or identity differences themselves are the problem. If misunderstandings arise across differences in race, ethnicity, culture, religion, disability, gender, socioeconomic background, language, or another area, consider whether clearer communication, cultural humility, accessibility support, additional training, or staff assistance could strengthen the relationship.

Participants should not be pressured to remain in a match that feels uncomfortable, unsafe, or consistently unhelpful. A coordinator can work with both people to understand what is happening and decide whether the relationship can be strengthened or whether a respectful re-match would be more appropriate.

If a match ends, look for lessons that may improve future matching, orientation, training, supervision, or program practices without treating the end of the relationship as a failure by either participant.

THE YOUNG PERSON FEELS STIGMATIZED, PRESSURED, OR UNHEARD

A young person may interpret mentoring as a punishment or as evidence that adults believe something is wrong with them, particularly if participation was initiated primarily by a school, parent, court, or other institution.

Be clear that mentoring is intended to offer an additional supportive relationship and opportunities for learning, connection, and growth. Whenever possible, participation should involve meaningful choice, and young people should have a voice in their goals, activities, and mentoring experience.

Mentors should approach mentees with respect for their strengths, knowledge, identities, interests, and agency. Screening and training should also help identify and address attitudes that position mentors as rescuers or young people as problems to be fixed.

THE YOUNG PERSON'S NEEDS OR CONCERNS GO BEYOND THE MENTORING ROLE

Mentors may sometimes learn about needs or concerns that require support beyond what a mentoring relationship can appropriately provide. These might involve significant academic support needs, substance use concerns, housing or family instability, experiences of violence or abuse, serious mental health concerns, legal issues, or immediate safety risks.

Mentors should understand the limits of their role and should not be expected to act as therapists, social workers, medical professionals, legal advisors, or crisis responders unless that is actually their professional role within the program.

When additional support may be needed, mentors should contact program staff and follow established referral, safeguarding, and reporting procedures. When appropriate, involve the young person in deciding what kinds of support would be useful and explain what will happen next rather than making decisions about them without their knowledge.

BOUNDARIES OR COMMUNICATION EXPECTATIONS ARE UNCLEAR

Feedback may reveal uncertainty about texting, social media, transportation, gifts, physical contact, meeting locations, scheduling, confidentiality, communication with families, or other boundaries. These concerns are often easier to address when the program has clear policies and mentors and mentees know whom to contact with questions.

THE PROGRAM IS CREATING BARRIERS TO PARTICIPATION

Sometimes the concern is not the mentoring relationship itself. Transportation, scheduling, disability access, language, technology, program fees, family responsibilities, or meeting locations may make participation difficult. Regular feedback can help programs identify and reduce these barriers.

ADDITIONAL EVALUATION RESOURCES

The Community Tool Box includes a variety of resources that can help you evaluate and improve your mentoring program. There are also resources for gathering information about the strengths, priorities, needs, and experiences of young people, families, and communities in the Community Assessment chapter. The following evaluation chapters and toolkit may be useful starting points:

• Chapter 37. Operations in Evaluating Community Interventions
• Chapter 38. Some Methods for Evaluating Comprehensive Community Initiatives
• Chapter 39. Using Evaluation to Understand and Improve the Initiative
• Toolkit 12. Evaluating the Initiative

 

IN SUMMARY

Every mentoring program needs a way to understand whether it is accomplishing its goals and providing safe, respectful, and useful experiences for participants. Ongoing feedback can help program staff recognize strengths, identify concerns early, reduce barriers, improve mentoring practices, and make better decisions about the future of the program.

Feedback should not come only from mentors or program staff. Young people should have regular, meaningful, and private opportunities to say how the mentoring relationship is working for them, whether their goals and boundaries are being respected, and whether they want anything to change.

Effective evaluation focuses not only on whether activities were completed or goals were reached, but also on the quality of mentoring relationships, participant experiences, accessibility, safety, inclusion, and opportunities for young people to exercise voice and choice. When programs listen carefully and respond to what they learn, evaluation becomes an important part of strengthening both individual mentoring relationships and the program as a whole.

___You know why monitoring and gathering feedback from your mentoring program is important

___You want to evaluate the performance of the program

___You need to inform about areas of the program that need improvement

___You want to assess your goals for the program

___You want to help better support the needs of the mentors and protégés

___You want to identify problems in the program at an early stage

___You know when you should do it

___You know how you should do it

___You understand the common mentor-protégé problems that monitoring can identify

Example 1: A mentor-training experience in feedback

Dr. Maggie Stone directs the McNair Scholars Program at the Central Missouri State University in Warrensburg. She works with junior and senior undergraduates, usually first generation low-income or under-represented who are academically talented and capable of successfully completing doctoral programs. The program focuses entirely on research, and she talked to us about how it works.

"One of the reasons we really do enjoy having our faculty involved is that this gives them an opportunity to work with the student one-on-one rather than with an entire class," Dr. Stone said. "The mentoring process one-on-one is very, very different from standing up and talking to a whole classroom full of people for 50 minutes and then going away. So this is the opportunity for the student to self-select faculty and for the faculty to share a research experience with a student one-on-one over the course of a year. One-on-one relationships with students do differ."

Three times during the year that the program lasts, Dr. Stone conducts a feedback survey to follow how the program is going. "We ask [faculty members] to complete a faculty mentoring report form that outlines the amount of contact they've had with the student and the nature of that contact. And then asks them for some qualitative evaluations on how the student was responding." For the students, there's a feedback survey twice a year, at the halfway point in the program. "At the end of our program we ask them to complete an evaluation form which it looks at the entire program including the nature and quality of the mentoring they've gotten from their faculty member. And whether or not they would recommend that faculty member to somebody else."

Example 2: Satisfaction survey

One way of gathering feedback for a mentoring program is to conduct a satisfaction survey. In it you can access how valuable your mentors are finding the mentoring experience and they ca provide useful advice to make the program run smoother. Here are some quotes from a satisfaction survey done by a school-based program in Kansas City.

On training:

• "Longer sessions - we only meet with [the protégés] for one hour."

• "Have a volunteer with several years of experience help train new volunteers. Let the new people know about other volunteer's insights and experiences."

• "I'd like specific information on dealing with difficult and troubled kids."

On matching:

• "Giving us some information about the student would help--do they have a single parent, siblings, what are their needs?"

• "I felt my match was perfect. We have even seen each other outside the program."

• "My protégé and I were very sad we have to wait until next school year to see each other."

In general:

• "I thoroughly enjoyed my experience with my protégé and developed a bond. She seemed to look forward to and enjoy our meetings."

• "If a student intends to commit to a full semester with a volunteer, it would be helpful, to interview the students to find out his or her needs and then make the appropriate match."

• "I feel that it helps to make children feel special, maybe they will even strive harder to learn."

• "I enjoyed working with the student and seeing how much he improved by the end of the school year."

Tool: Satisfaction survey

Here is a sample of a satisfaction survey form. This kind of feedback evaluation is very useful because it allows you to find out if your program is working well, and what the volunteers have to suggest for improvements. Being an anonymous source of feedback, people will freely discuss what they like and dislike about the mentoring program they are involved with.

Satisfaction Survey

How long have you been involved with this project?

___0 - 3 months

___4 - 6 months

___7 months - 1 year

___2 years

___More than 2 years

How satisfied are you with your volunteer program experience?

    Not Satisfied                           Very Satisfied

1          2          3          4          5

What could the school or the program do to improve your experience?

 

How satisfied were you with your training?

1          2          3          4          5

What would improve your training?

 

How satisfied were you with your match / placement?

1          2          3          4          5

What would improve your match / placement?

 

How worthwhile was your mentoring experience?

   Waste of time                         Highly worthwhile

1          2          3          4          5

Please, include some comments:

 

What additional information, conditions, or resources would have improved your experience?

 

Would you encourage participation in this program to your friends, family, or other adults?

___Yes

___No

Is this initiative good for the children?

___Yes

___No

In what ways is it good for the children?

 

 

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.