Chapter 22. Youth Mentoring Programs | Community Tool Box

• What is recruiting?

• Why do you need to recruit?

• What makes a good mentor?

• How do you decide what qualities you're looking for in a mentor?

• How do you attract potential mentors?

• How do you choose good mentors?

• Tips for conducting an interview

The success of any community-based program depends on the dedication, motivation, and ability of the people who participate or volunteer. Nowhere are these attributes more important than in a mentoring program, where adult role models can influence children's lives. If you're setting up such a program, you'll want to have a system in place that will allow you to attract the people who are most likely to make your program a success.

What is recruiting?

Recruiting is the process by which you find people to join or participate in your organization. Recruiting for a program or organization brings people together who share a common goal. For a mentoring program, this means gathering people together who want to make a difference in a young person's life.

Why do you need to recruit?

Simply put, you'll need to recruit in order to ensure that your supply of mentors meets the demand. For example, if one of your mentors gets sick and must leave the organization, who will take her place? Also, as word of your program spreads, the demand for mentors will probably grow quickly. You'll need a reliable supply of mentors to serve the young people you want to reach.

Anyway, how else are you going to find skilled, motivated people to join your program than by going out and looking for them?

What makes a good mentor?

The truth is, a lot of people can be good mentors. There's not a certain mold that mentors need to come from. Underneath that work shirt, business suit, or lab coat, there might be a role model just waiting to jump out! Mentoring doesn't discriminate, either; people of all kinds of backgrounds can make good mentors.

Before we talk any more about mentoring, let's examine the people who have made a difference in our lives. Think back to your own role models.

Think back to your childhood and teenage years. Who did you most want to be like when you grew up? Most of us remember someone who was famous, or really smart or kind, whom we admired and copied. Most of us have role models about whom we say, "That's who I want to be like."

When you think about your own role models, you can rediscover the qualities your heroes have and find similar values among them. Many of these values will influence how you set up a mentoring program and the kind of people you choose as mentors.

Who were your heroes?

• Who did you admire when you were in grade school? In junior high? In high school? Why?
• Who did you want to be when you grew up?
• What did you want to do when you grew up? Why?
• How did your role models change through the years? How did your dreams of who you wanted to be change as you grew older?
• What goals did you set for yourself in grade school? In junior high? In high school?
• What kinds of things were important to you in childhood?
• Who do you think are good candidates for role models now? Why?
• What did you like about your friends when you were growing up?
• What do you really like about your close friends now?
• If you already have kids or if you want to have kids, what kinds of values do (or would) you teach them? What kind of adults do (or would) you like them to become?

Now that you've had a chance to reflect on the qualities that attracted you to your own heroes, it's time to decide which of those characteristics or values fit in with what you want your program to provide, who your target audience is, and what type of mentor they want. That means you must be able to define what sort of mentors you're looking for and set up some criteria for who makes a good mentor.

How do you decide what qualities you're looking for in a mentor?

What do your experiences tell you about what kinds of people make good mentors? One way to create a list of characteristics desirable for potential mentors is to brainstorm your own ideas about mentors and combine them with what fits your audience's needs.

The group will probably want to find answers to all of the following questions:

• What will the mentor be doing?
• For how long do we want them to commit to reach these goals?
• What qualities and qualifications would be ideal in a mentor?

What will the mentor be doing?

First, think about what mentors might be doing with the people they have been partnered with. Following is a general list of things an adult might do as a mentor. Which of them apply to your program? What else might the adults do?

• Mentors help their mentees with homework
• They teach skills or specialized tasks, such as car mechanics or computer programming
• Mentors help youth set goals
• Mentors can give their mentees entry to collegiate, professional, or personal events
• Adult mentors can show teenagers how to connect with people who have the resources or know-how to help
• By passing on such valuable skills as communication and goal attainment, mentors teach youth how to help themselves
• Mentors can teach protégés a foreign language, cooking, or just about anything!

The list above gives you a good idea of the types of things a mentor can do, but what happens in a mentoring relationship ultimately depends on how well a mentor and mentee interact. This, in turn, depends largely on how qualified your mentors are to deal with and help youth.

For how long do we want a mentor to commit to reach these goals?

Some things to keep in mind as you think about the length of commitment you are asking for:

• A mentor's duties will vary from program to program and from mentee to mentee
• A mentor's responsibilities could change with a youth's changing abilities and goals
• The point of mentoring is to break down barriers, build relationships, and create opportunities for young people

Because of this, your group will also want to decide how long you want your mentors to commit to your program. For many programs, a commitment of six months or a year is asked for, in order that there is enough time to build a strong relationship. For others, the commitment may only be a few weeks or months as necessary skills are transferred. What makes most sense for your organization?

What qualities and qualifications would be ideal in a mentor?

Below are some suggestions for things to consider in potential mentors:

• Employment history
• Communication skills
• Life experience
• Tolerance for children
• Parenting skills
• Experience working with a variety of people
• Age/maturity
• Educational background
• Commitment to community
• Openness to diversity
• Family relationships
• Life ambitions

Of course, be aware that all of your values may not fit in with what your clients need, want, or think is important. What you perceive as important qualities to have may not match perfectly with all the possible values that potential mentors could have.

That's one reason why after having answered these questions within the group, you will probably want to hear the ideas of your clients--the protégés--as well. Two excellent ways to do so are focus groups and concerns surveys.

Make sure you separate out any of your personal biases or prejudices that may affect the quality of your program before you start recruiting. Remember, the mentor program is for the youth in your community, not for you!

How do you attract potential mentors?

Sometimes you have to go to people, if people won't come to you. The folks who are fantastic at volunteering their time are rare; and most people have so many other daily commitments that volunteering seems impossible. How do you find adults who, when asked, would be glad to help out? Mainly, this can take place through effective advertising.

Some excellent ways to get your organization's name out on the street:

• Hold a one-hour informational meeting that explains what your program does
• Post flyers in schools and youth clubs and ask teachers and youth leaders to spread the word
• Inform parents by telephone, newsletter, or face-to-face contact, of your program
• Invite your friends to become mentors
• Ask your friends to ask their friends to become mentors
• Ask community leaders to suggest individuals who would make good mentors
• Ask business leaders to introduce you to individuals who show initiative and leadership on the job
• Place ads in the local and school papers to inform the public about your mentoring program

How do you choose good mentors?

Once the word gets around that your organization is starting a mentor program, crowds of people will hopefully come knocking down your door, asking how they can become mentors. What will you tell them--just sign on the dotted line? No, now is the time to hand out applications.

The application process

The application process is crucial to the success of your mentoring program. If you don't have individuals who are capable of providing quality mentoring, the individuals you want to serve aren't going to have the best possible experience. What's more, bad publicity--the kind that comes from dissatisfied adolescents and parents--could mean the end of your partnership program.

So, how can you avoid these problems? A thorough application process ensures that you've done your best to recruit good people into your program. Here's a list of several screening tools you can use. Which ones seem appropriate for your program?

• Application - a printed form that asks about work history, educational background, and reasons for wanting to become a mentor. Most applications are one to three pages long, and may include some of the other tools on this list.
• Interview - an interview may demonstrate an applicant's capacity to handle stress, as well as their communication skills. It gives you an on-the-spot, live impression of a potential mentor.
• References - references are letters written by past employers, professors, or other individuals familiar with an applicant's abilities.
• Background check - a formal investigation into a person's legal past. Examples include an FBI report, National Child Abuse Registry report, and the Division of Motor Vehicles report. A formal background check on anyone that works that works with children and youth is mandatory in many U.S. states and in several other countries as well. For reasons of both security and liability, any mentoring program should require such checks for all potential mentors.
• Short answer questions - these questions gather factual information about an applicant's personal goals, experiences, and expectations for the program.
• Personal history - a one-page essay that provides a more personal glance into an applicant's life. A personal history can be self-directed or in response to a particular question.
• Grade point average - some people consider G.P.A. a good indicator of a person's ability to achieve and commitment to academics.
• Skills inventory - a written form that asks the applicant to check off their skills on an inventory of different capacities.
• Home visit - serves the same purpose as the personal interview, but gives you the added perspective of how a potential mentor behaves around her or his family. Looking at the mentor's home environment may show you what kind of person the potential mentor is.

The application process doesn't allow you to predict how a person will behave all the time in a mentoring relationship. Nonetheless, it can give you a good sense of what an applicant is like. The methods listed above are particularly effective in screening for the best candidates when used in a combination carefully tailored to suit your organization's purposes. At the end of this section is the screening procedure that Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Douglas County, Kansas, uses in order to get the best possible mentors and best possible matches.

It can seem overwhelming to require potential mentors and your staff members to fill out and review so many different forms. However, your mentors may be working with a vulnerable population, so it's imperative that you find those people most qualified to work with youth. One way to keep information on potential mentors straight is to keep a checklist of forms they need to fill out, meetings or interviews they need to attend, and background and reference checks that you need to complete during the screening process.

A few of the screening tools deserve additional comment:

Letters of reference

Letters of reference are usually written by someone who has known a potential mentor for several years, either in a work setting or on a personal level. You can ask for a general letter of recommendation, or your organization may choose to control the content of applicant's references by using forms that prompt a referring party to address an applicant's qualifications in certain areas of expertise. In either form, these recommendations can give you an accurate picture of an applicant's personality, competence, and dedication.

• Double-check, by phone call or by an in-person contact, the source of any references you receive. This way you can confirm the accuracy and credibility of the person doing the referring.
• Beware of references written by an applicant's close friend or family member. These letters obviously will contain a degree of personal bias.
• Make sure the reference talks about the applicant in relation to the abilities you're looking for in potential mentors. If it doesn't, throw the reference out and ask for another.

Personal history

Personal histories should draw out the more private side of an applicant. You can find clues into an applicant's personality and values by reading between the lines. Personal histories can be written free form, that is, as a biography, or in response to specific questions.

Skills inventory

A skills inventory gives you a quick run-down of the practical experiences a potential mentor has had. This may or may not include an applicant's current profession.

Tips for conducting an interview

Interviews are stressful situations for interviewers and interviewees alike. Here are some ideas for when you conduct an interview that will make the experience run as smoothly and comfortably as possible.

• If the interviewee has filled out an application for your organization, make sure that the interviewers are familiar with the applicant's background
• Before you go into an interview, make sure you have written out the questions that you want the applicant to answer. One way to ensure that your questions are complete and will get at the needed information is to practice on someone. This lets you think of follow-up questions that will help you clarify an applicant's answers.
• When an applicant arrives, greet him or her with a smile and handshake and (re)introduce yourself
• Make sure the applicant has a comfortable chair to sit in, and that the climate of the room is appropriate
• Look the interviewee in the eye when addressing or listening to him or her
• Pay attention to the applicant's body language, posture, eye contact, ability to communicate, and level of confidence during the interview. Also listen for gaps in information to be followed up later.
• Let the applicant finish her or his sentences before giving comments or asking for clarification
• Ask open-ended questions that begin with "what," "when," "how," "why," or "which" in order to give the applicant a chance to provide complete information. This will also give you an idea about how well the interviewee communicates.
• Make sure the applicant has a clear idea of what your organization expects from her or him
• Encourage the interviewee to ask questions about your program
• At the end of the interview, thank the applicant for her or his time. Offer again to answer the interviewee's questions if she or he thinks of more later on.
• Double-check what's next in the application process with your interviewee and let her or him know if you're missing an necessary information

In Summary

Recruiting mentors is one of the first steps of an effective mentoring program. A well-managed effort ensures that your program will find, attract, and choose many of the people in your community best suited to a mentoring program.

Example 1: Requirements to be a Big Brother/Big Sister in Douglas County, Kansas

Big Brothers/Big Sisters is a national organization that provides adult companions /role models to children who come from single-parent families.

Potential Big Brothers or Big Sisters must:

• Attend an informational meeting
• Fill out an application
• Submit completed reference forms from three references
• Submit to background checks by the Department of Motor Vehicles, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, and the National Child Abuse Registry
• Take the Clinical Analysis Questionnaire (CAQ), a personality test that's evaluated by a local psychologist, and score satisfactorily
• Participate in a 20-minute home visit with an assigned social worker or case manager
• Participate in an hour-long personal, in-office interview with Big Brothers/Big Sisters staff members
• Select a match from a pool of available children

As you can see, Big Brothers/Big Sisters goes to great lengths to ensure that it recruits and trains capable people. Such an extensive application process takes up to six weeks to complete but may help the organization avoid accepting volunteers who don't really fit in with the organization.

Example 2: Sample Checklist of Forms Completed by Potential Mentors

Nickels and Dimes Mentoring Applicant Checklist

Potential mentor has attended informational meeting: When? ________	Yes	No
Potential mentor has turned in a completed application?	Yes	No
Director, co-director, and three volunteers have read/approved application?	Yes	No
Applicant has returned completed release of information forms?	Yes	No
National Registry of Child Abuse check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Department of Motor Vehicles check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Kansas Bureau of Investigation check started? When? ________ Completed?	Yes   Yes	No   No
Three complete references for applicant have been received?	Yes	No
Applicant has taken psychological exam? Results:	Yes	No
Applicant has completed an in-office interveiw with director and co-director?	Yes	No
Social worker has completed a home-visit with applicant? Results:	Yes	No
Applicant file completed?	Yes	No
Applicant accepted?	Yes	No
Has applicant selected a youth match? Name: ____________	Yes	No

See attached match file for comments and additional information.

Example 3: Sample letter of reference

William Baer, President
Center for Research on Social Learning
7895 East Wilson Blvd.
Kansas City, KS 64114

Mary Johnson, Director
Search for Excellence
1421 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence, KS 66044

Dear Mary,

This letter is written in support of Joseph Floreani, whom I have had the pleasure of supervising at the Center for Research on Social Learning. While working in our company, Joseph has evaluated and taught elementary-aged children who manifest learning disabilities in the mainstream classroom but for whom no special education services exist. Joseph has performed his duties with diligence and compassion, a rare combination that is greatly appreciated by his colleagues, his students, and their families.

In the five years that Joseph as worked with us, he has demonstrated an enormous capacity for adapting to the different concerns and personalities of his students. His versatility as a knowledgeable, well-educated individual allows him to efficiently plan and carry out detailed educational activities that delight his students while improving their skills and opportunities for success. I can, without hesitation, recommend Joseph Floreani as an excellent mentor in your Search for Excellence program.

Sincerely,

William Baer, President
Center for Research on Social Learning

Example 4: Sample essay questions

Please describe what you learned from your parents growing up. What kind of values did they believe in and which of those values would you choose to teach to your own children? Why?

My father and mother came from good farming stock; they were both born at home, more than fifty miles away from the nearest doctor, and both learned to read over lunch breaks from the field. Because my parents both grew up knowing hard work as part of life, they made their children start earning their keep at an early age. I have been more or less self-employed since the age of eight, when I offered my services as a strawberry picker in the hills of Southwestern Missouri. I always liked the feeling of pride I got whenever I finished a job and came running home with a few dollars in my pockets after several hours of backbreaking work in the hot, tiring sun and heavy pants. From fruit picking, I moved up to mowing lawns and cleaning gutters for our neighbors; as I grew older and stronger, my 'territory' expanded to include locals or 'townies', as we called them.

My parents were proud of the energy and initiative displayed by their children, and the reward for our hard work was a $10 savings bond, which we could choose to use for whatever we wanted, once we hit age 21. Of course, schooling past high school was encouraged, but I decided to wait to go to the university until I had established myself as a businessman. That way when I did go to school, I wouldn't miss out on all the fun when my friends went into retail or other service-for-hire work. My parents supported my decision to postpone school, saying it was just as important to have time as money well spent.

Although my parents and I differ in many ways, I carried their love of early mornings and hard work into adulthood, and have tried to teach the same values to my own children: my kids help me in the garden on Saturdays before they go play, and we are all early risers, as morning time is spent cleaning or cooking or listening to what each person has to say about her or his plans for the day. I believe that time spent in the family setting is just as special and educational as the time spent in the garden or working at the office, but I try to be reasonable.

To me, hard work and good family relations go hand in hand because they buoy each other up and support each other; I never would've been able to make a go of my landscaping business now if my brothers and sister hadn't helped mow all those lawns when we when in grade school together. And, working nine hours a day in the scorching, suffocating heat with flies and sweat all around isn't that fun, unless you have a brother or sister to tease along the way.

Example 5: Personal history

Name two people whom you admired as an adolescent. Why were these people, or how did they act as, role models for you?

When I was younger, Thomas Jefferson was one of my heroes. He's such an important person in our country's history--author of the Declaration of Independence, one of our country's finest patriots, Secretary of State under Washington, third President of the United States. What impressed me the most about Thomas Jefferson, though, was his dedication to education and his pursuit of curiosity. One of the things he requested be put on his tombstone included "founder of the University of Virginia"; I really admired that he worked so hard to bring education to the common man and that, of all his amazing accomplishments, he was as committed to educating every person in America as he was to bringing political power to the leaders of our country.

I also admired Jefferson's fascination with building new tools and inventing machines to make life (ostensibly) easier. I really believe he loved creating his gadgets not so much for their practicality but for the love of a good mental challenge. I think Jefferson was his own best adversary and motivator; he never let himself be satisfied with the way things were.

I also admire anyone who becomes a mother. I believe that no other profession is as important as being a good parent. That's not to say that everyone should be a parent, just like not everyone should be a doctor or a teacher. So, I really admire my mother. To me she represents all that's good about being alive -- she's loving, she's supportive, she sacrificed her own immediate goals of becoming an artist to become a responsible, fantastic mother at a young age. She's done an immeasurable amount for my brothers, sisters, and me -- all good mothers do -- to make sure that her children, her works of art, in a way, were the best they could be. I don't know if we've done her proud or not, but she certainly did her part.

Tool 1: Sample application for potential members

Mentor Application

Name

Address

Phone #:

Date of birth:

Work history (starting with most recent):

         Company                    Position held                    Dates                    Primary Responsibilities

1.

2.

3.

Educational Background:

• Did you attend college?
  • For how long?
  • Name of university or college?
• Have you had any post-secondary training?
  • If so where?
  • How long?
  • Kind of training?

Why are you interested in becoming a volunteer mentor?

What kinds of experiences have you had working with adolescents?

What kinds of skills and special abilities can you bring to our program that might be useful for adolescents to acquire?

Tool 2: Sample reference form

Reference form

Name of applicant:

Your name:

Your title and place of employment:

How long have you known the applicant?

In what capacity have you known the applicant (teacher, supervisor, friend, co-worker)?

Please describe the applicant in terms of personal values and life stability:

 

 

Please comment on the applicant's ability to function as a mentor/role model for adolescents, ages 12 to 17, including knowledge you have of applicant's experiences with children.

 

 

Briefly describe a situation in which you have witnessed the applicant engaging in one of the following activities:

• Teaching someone a skill
• Instructing someone in a complicated process
• Providing personal counseling
• Organizing projects and assigning tasks

 

Tool 3: Sample skills inventory

Maintenance __Window washing __Floor waxing / mopping __General household cleaning __Lawn care / landscaping __Floor stripping / sanding __Wood stripping / refinishing __House painting - outside __House painting - inside __Plumbing __Electrical	Computers __Word processor __Database program __Statistical program __Graphics program __Computer programming
Construction __Installing drywall __Building demolition __Building houses __Room remodeling __Bathroom remodeling __Bricklaying / masonry __Cement mixing  / pouring __Installing insulation __Furniture / cabinet making __Carpentry skills __Roofing	Food __Catering __Short-order cook __Bartending __Baking __Line cook __Head chef
Health __First Aid __Nursing __Dental Care __Caring for people with severe disabilities __Caring for people with mental illness	Education / Child Care __Parenting __Elementary school teaching __Middle school teaching __High school  teaching __Early childhood education __Daycare __Babysitting __Camp instructor __Lifeguard
Office __Typing __Copy machine __Fax machine __Multiple-line phone system __Filing __Bookkeeping	Other __Hotel management __Hairstyling __Artist __Musician __Farmer __Security __Horticulture __Transportation / driver __Waiting tables __Product sales __Retail __Fashion design

 Tool 4: Sample values questions

1. What do you hope to gain by becoming a volunteer mentor?

2. What kind of experience have you had talking with your family members, friends, and co-workers about their difficulties?

3. How do you feel about how your life has been going lately? How satisfied are you right now?

4. Do you feel comfortable interacting with others one-on-one?

5. Are you able to work with persons who come from backgrounds very different from yours or whose lifestyles you don't agree with?

6. Are you able to be assertive?

7. How about with your ability to not give advice, even when you disagree with someone's decision?

Tool 5: Sample short answer questions

1. Why do you want to be a volunteer mentor?

2. What are the major responsibilities in your life right now?

3. What are your major interests?

4. What are your future plans and dreams?

5. How do you feel about the way your life is right now?

6. What words would you use to describe yourself?

7. What words would your friends/family/supervisor use to describe you?

8. What kinds of life changes have you experienced, including losses, relationship changes, family and friendship changes, or health, education, or self-awareness changes?

9. Who has been a role model or mentor to you in your life? How?

10. What kinds of influences do you think are good for children nowadays? Why?

11. What kinds of influences are bad for children nowadays? Why?

12. Who or what do you think is the most important influence in children's lives? 

___You understand that recruiting is the process by which you find people to join or participate in your organization

___You understand that you need to recruit to ensure that your supply of mentors meets the demand

___You have thought about what qualities are important in a mentor

___You know what mentors will be doing

___You know how long you want mentors to commit

___You know what qualities and qualifications would be ideal in a mentor

___You understand different ways to advertise your program:

• Informational meeting
• Posting flyers
• Inform parents of your program
• Invite your friends (and their friends) to become mentors
• Ask community, business, and manufacturing leaders to suggest individuals who would make good mentors
• Place advertisements in local and school papers

___You are aware of the different screening processes available in the application process:

• Application
• Skills inventory
• Personal history
• Short answer questions
• Grade point average
• Background check
• References
• Interview
• Home visit

___You understand how to effectively conduct an interview

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

• Why train adult mentors?

• When do you train adult mentors?

• Who should train your adult mentors?

• Where should the training be held?

• How do you train adult mentors?

• Where should the training be held?

Why train adult mentors?

You've screened the applications, conducted the interviews, checked the references, and even started thinking about which adult mentor will work best with each protégé. So you're ready to introduce the pairs to one another and get your mentoring program under way, right?

Not quite. You've left out a very important step: Training your adult mentors.

Training adult mentors is important for several reasons. Even though they've made it through your group's screening process, newly recruited mentors may still have a number of questions. They may need to learn about or brush up on such skills as communication and problem solving. They will certainly need to learn more about the program's goals and expectations. And by learning more about the program and its expectations, mentors may find it easier to meet his or their own goals, as well.

Training adult mentors helps them develop the skills they will need to create successful and effective relationships with their protégés. The training may include an orientation; an overview of the mentor's -, and the protégé's - responsibilities; and instruction on listening and problem solving skills, conflict resolution, goal setting, available community resources, and dealing with the protégé's family.  Suggestions for icebreakers to make new mentors and proteges more comfortable with each other would also be useful here.

When should you train adult mentors?

If possible, right away! Optimally, you will want to train your mentors as soon as they start the program. However, if you have mentors joining the program continually throughout the year, it may not be feasible for them to attend--or for you or your organization to set up--individual training sessions, particularly if you offer extensive, in-depth training. If this is your situation, you may wish to hold comprehensive training sessions three or four times a year.

As adult mentors enter your program, you can give them written materials, including such information as the history and purpose of your program, an outline of the mentor's role and responsibilities, and a list of outside resources such as hotlines, teachers, and social workers. You might let mentors so equipped begin work right away, with training to come with the first available training session.  In general, though, unless there’s a crying need for immediate matchups, you’d probably wait to pair mentors and proteges until after mentors had been through a complete training.

Who should train your adult mentors?

You - or your organization - will probably be responsible for the bulk of the training. You may even be responsible for all of it. But why not see if some local professionals would be willing to volunteer their time to help out? For example, a professional mediator may be willing to hold a session on conflict resolution. A social worker could lead a discussion on the mentor's relationship with the adolescent's family. Look around! You'll find dozens of untapped resources within your own community.

Where should the training be held?

The training can be held anywhere. A classroom can be a good choice: classrooms are frequently empty on evenings and weekends (although not always--check first to find out), and you'll have desks and a chalkboard readily available. If you are able to hold the training at the school most of the mentees attend, the adult mentors will get a better sense of their protégés' surroundings and everyday life.  On the other hand, classrooms are often uncomfortable for adults – chairs and desks too small, harsh lighting – and schools may feel oppressive to some people.

Alternatives are abound in the community. Besides schools, some possible training sites are community centers; libraries; conference rooms in businesses, banks, or hospitals; colleges and universities; and town or government buildings. Anyplace that’s clean, quiet, and well-lit might do, as long as it’s large enough, has reasonably comfortable furniture, and isn’t too hot or too cold. Make sure that coffee, water, and snacks are available to the mentor-trainees, and that bathrooms are readily available.

How do you train adult mentors?

Training mentors can be as simple or involved as your program wants, but because the mentors will play such an important role in their protégés' lives, we recommend something more in-depth than a handful of papers (although printed backup materials may be a key element of your training program). And extensive training sessions or training retreats can be expensive. How, then, can you find a reasonable middle ground?

We suggest holding several evening sessions, or one all-day session on a weekend, with each section of the training composed of one or more modules covering topics that are important to your program. We discuss some possible modules below. Feel free to pick and choose from among these--or invent your own, based on your program's needs. For example, if you know that your mentors will be tutoring their protégés in English literature, you may want to provide some background information on the books the protégés will be reading, the assignments they are likely to have, and their teachers' expectations of the program. You might want to invite a teacher to help with the training.

There are a few methods of training and orientation that can be used in preparing mentors for their task.

Orientation session

The orientation is a one to two-hour information session, which you can hold for new mentors or people considering being mentors for your program. It should inform candidates of what will be expected of them, and what their roles as mentors will be. The orientation should include presentations on:

• Your organization's history, purpose and accomplishments
• Programs currently in progress
• Time commitment expected of mentors
• Program logistics, such as meeting times and places and transportation
• Program resources, such as literature and ideas for activities with youth
• Outside resources, such as hotlines and referral names of teachers and social workers
• Guidelines for the relationship, such as what mentors are and are not expected to do
• Who will be mentored, and why? Describe the background of the at-risk population and the issues facing them
• Who can mentor? Discuss how mentors are selected and ask the group to assess their personal goals and commitment. This will give them a chance to change their minds.
• How can the mentors themselves benefit from the program?

An orientation session will also allow mentors to ask any questions they didn't ask during the interview and give them a point of departure for the work they will be doing.

Training sessions

As mentioned before, you may choose to spread your training across several sessions. The training sessions can include several topics.

Some topics you may want to include in your training session include:

Mentor responsibilities:

Clearly and specifically outline mentoring responsibilities.

Consider:

• What does your program hope to achieve?
• What do you hope mentors will accomplish with their protégés?
• What do you specifically expect them not to do?
• What is the adolescent's role in the relationship?
• What is the adolescent responsible for?

Goal setting in the mentoring relationship:

Discuss the importance of defining and setting goals, and provide information on how to:

• Help the youth define and set realistic goals
• Set appropriate mentor expectations for what youth can accomplish
• Find solutions or pathways to reach those goals
• Adjust goals as the capabilities and needs of the youth change

Listening skills:

Teach your mentors communication skills they can use with their protégés.

This session can include:

• Lessons in active listening
• Role plays of helping situations
• Practice in non-judgmental helping

Problem solving skills:

Include information on:

• Problem-solving skills
• Tutoring and teaching skills
• Modeling skills

Conflict resolution skills:

Teach your mentors how to resolve tension in a relationship. Here we are talking about conflicts between mentors and protégés, and ways to avoid or solve them.

Discuss:

• How to avoid conflict
• How to work through conflict
• How to search for solutions
• How to avoid mentor burn-out
• How to motivate adolescents
• When and how to end an unproductive mentor relationship

Conflict resolution training might also include ways to help proteges learn to solve conflicts with peers and family members.

Community resources and networking:

Provide information on community resources and organizations that will help youth meet their goals.

The mentor relationship and the protege's family:

Some questions to be addressed in this training session include:

• What is the nature of the mentor's relationship with their protégé's family?
• What are a mentor's responsibilities to a protege's family?
• How involved can a mentor become with the other family members?
• How do mentors set limits with family members?
• How do mentors handle conflict within the family?
• How do mentors handle parents who want to shape the mentoring relationship?
• How do mentors handle uncooperative parents?

Evaluate:

As a mentor, you want to know if your approach is being effective, if you’re accomplishing what you set out to do. It's also important to know if the protégés are getting what they expected. Do they have questions? Do they think your mentoring is helping them? Mentors need to evaluate protégés and vice-versa.

Follow-up training

Occasional follow-up training will keep your volunteers up-to-date and interested, and may prevent burnout. And training, optimally, is an ongoing process in which your volunteers never stop learning' on the job. Here are some ideas for ongoing training.

• Be sure to provide written materials to back up the training the mentors receive in their initial sessions. These materials may be used for reference throughout the mentor/protégé relationship.
• Make sure your staff is always available to answer questions and help to solve problems for mentors experiencing unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations.  (Staff involvement could range from making simple suggestions for activities to helping mentors understand how their own experiences or reactions are feeding into a situation, etc.)
• Provide ongoing supervision for your mentoring pairs to ensure problems are being resolved as they crop up or headed off before they appear.
• Organize ongoing training sessions or "special topics" sessions to keep your mentors/protégés fresh and aware during the relationship.
• Organize a mentors support group or chat session in which mentors can exchange ideas or strategies, share resources, and offer one another emotional and social support.
• Keep in regular contact by phone or in person with your mentors; this both keeps you up-to-date on how the relationship with the protégé is going, and helps the mentor clarify their situation. Ongoing contact also shows mentors that you are interested in their progress and that they aren't alone.

In Summary

By using a thorough screening process, you've done much to increase the chances that your mentoring program will be successful. But even capable adults need guidance and support in order to meet the challenges that mentoring adolescents can bring. Careful training will give your volunteer mentors the knowledge, skills and abilities to meet those challenges confidently, and will help you ensure that your mentor program is an unqualified success!

Example: A mentor-training experience

Dr. Maggie Stone directs the McNair Scholars Program at the Central Missouri State University in Warrensburg. She works with junior and senior undergraduates, usually first generation low-income or under-represented who are academically talented and capable of successfully completing doctoral programs. The program focuses entirely on research, and she talked to us about how it works.

She said that their purpose is to mentor the protégés through an undergraduate -funded research project and help them get prepared to enter graduate school, being successful once they get there. Dr. Stone sees training adult mentors as a unique experience for most faculty members on her campus."The opportunity for faculty members to mentor funded undergraduate research students one-on-one modeling for masters and doctoral level theses and dissertations is unique." She believes that the faculty members' dealing with undergraduates who are academically gifted or talented, but who don't have the background to know what to expect from graduate school or to be prepared to do undergraduate research at an appropriate level, is a valid experience for both mentors and protégés.

"One of the reasons we really do enjoy having our faculty involved is that this gives them an opportunity to work with the student one-on-one rather than with an entire class," Dr. Stone said."The mentoring process one-on-one is very, very different from standing up and talking to a whole classroom full of people for 50 minutes and then going away. So this is the opportunity for the student to self-select faculty and for the faculty to share a research experience with a student one-on-one over the course of a year. One-on-one relationships with students do differ."

The students choose the mentors they want to be put together with."It is up to the student to convince a faculty member that their project is worthwhile and that they are worth the time and energy that faculty member to work with them. And it also gives the student the experience of approaching a faculty member with a project and convincing them to work with them on it, rather than simply being assigned and removing all the responsibility from the student. And the student is selecting a person that they can work with but their primary reason for selecting that person is the common interest in the research topic. It is a function somewhat of the interpersonal fit between the two of them, but on the other hand it is precipitated by an academic interest that the two of them share. So we're not really talking about mentoring from the standpoint of generation to generation or social mentoring. We are really talking about introducing that student into that particular academic arena."

Three times during the year that the program lasts, Dr. Stone conducts a feedback survey to follow how the program is going."We ask [faculty members] to complete a faculty mentoring report form that outlines the amount of contact they've had with the student and the nature of that contact. And then asks them for some qualitative evaluations on how the student was responding." For the students, there's a feedback survey twice a year, at the halfway point in the program."At the end of our program we ask them to complete an evaluation form which it looks at the entire program including the nature and quality of the mentoring they've gotten from their faculty member. And whether or not they would recommend that faculty member to somebody else."

To train faculty members, Dr. Stone organizes orientation sessions in which they talk about the mentoring process."We don't have an organized mentoring program but through another program in this campus, which is associated with our undergraduate freshman experience, we have a mentoring program full force. That engages faculty and students. Our mentoring is specialized in that it is focused on their academic area of interest and it's a research project."

Tool 1: "Icebreaker" activities

This activity was suggested by Lisa Rasor, former director of volunteer training at Headquarters Counseling Center, in Lawrence, KS.

Forced choice exercise:

In this exercise, the facilitator puts signs in three different parts of the room. The facilitator will ask the mentors and protégés if they would consider themselves a listener, a talker or a doer. Those are the only three choices, so it's a forced choice--you have to choose one of those areas.

Another possible question is: "Do you consider yourself adventurous, creative or idealistic?" Sometimes, people might say, "Well, I can be any of those." But they still have to choose just one possibility.

And so the groups that gather in those different areas will talk about why they chose that area, why they chose adventurous over idealistic. And then, they will just get to know each other that way with that forced choice, and find some things in common. Then, do a few more sets of those, different sets of forced choices.

Additional forced choice questions include:

• Do you consider yourself compassionate, just, or philosophical?
• Are you a realist, an optimist, or a dreamer?
• Are you punctual, serious, or spontaneous?

Sometimes, mentors and protégés find themselves in groups with different people; sometimes, they'll go through three sets and have one other person that's in all three sets, and they'll go, "Wow, we might have a lot in common." So this can be a very good group building exercise that will help the mentor/protégé relationship in the future.

Tool 2: Evaluation Form

This is a form that will help mentors and protégés evaluate how effective the program and their relationship are.

Evaluation Form

In the interest of anonymity, we ask that you do NOT put your name on this form.

Session Presenter / Facilitator:

Date:

What were your objectives in this program?

 

On a scale of 1 - 5, with 5 being the most useful, how useful did you find this information? 

1                    2                    3                    4                     5

On a scale of 1 - 5, with 5 being excellent, how well presented was this session?

1                    2                    3                    4                     5

What did you like most about this training session?

 

What did you like least about this training session?

 

What would you change about this training session?

 

___You understand why it's important to train adult mentors

___You know when do you train adult mentors

___You know who should train your adult mentors

___You know how to train adult mentors

___You know where the training should be held

___You know you need to make the mentor responsibilities clear

___You set the goals

___You know the importance of listening skills

___You know the importance of problem solving skills

___You know the importance of conflict resolution skills

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

What do we mean by recruiting youth?

Every day, we read about children and teenagers who succumb to drugs or violence, or who drift aimlessly through life without motivation or direction. However, many of those same youth, even those in desperate circumstances, would like to become involved in programs and projects that will have a positive impact on their communities and their lives.

A mentoring program is an excellent way to guide these children and teenagers to lead productive, healthy, and safe lives. But participation in a mentoring program, like anything else, may not be for everyone. Developing a solid recruitment strategy will help your organization identify and approach the children who will benefit most from your program.

To recruit youth is to go out and actively seek out young people to participate in your mentoring program. It is to create strategies to attract youth to your program, and always keep old recruits active at the same time. Recruiting youth creates an impact in your community by giving kids the chance to be productive.

Whom should you recruit?

When it comes time to identify potential protégés for your program, you have to have a pretty good idea of what you want your program to look like. What are you offering? What are you trying to accomplish? Who in the community can benefit the most from a mentoring program like yours? Once you answer these questions, you'll have a good picture of the people you're looking for.

In other words, you must define the purposes of your program. You have to know what you want to accomplish, so that you can start working on it. Once you have a grasp on which type of work you want to do, it's time to decide which group(s) would get the most out of your program.

There are many ways by which you may start looking for participants. Not every youth will fill the appropriate profile to participate in your program. It's important to match participants and activities, so you must be careful in your selection. You may want to recruit youth who need some additional help to thrive in the community. Here are some possible criteria you may wish to consider when beginning to identify potential young participants:

• The participant has a need to interact with positive adult role models
• The participant comes from a family that is living in poverty or experiencing severe financial stress
• The participant lacks particular academic or job skills necessary for self-improvement or greater life options
• The participant is experiencing failure at school or poor attendance
• The participant has a physical or mental disability or behavior problems that are not beyond the capabilities of an adult mentor but that may inhibit daily, positive interaction with adults or peers

Of course, more important than all of these criteria is the willingness of the participant to take part in a mentoring program. If the youth doesn't want to participate, or is forced to, the objective of your program probably won't be achieved: It may actually be counterproductive for everyone involved. There are ways of persuading a young person to take part in an activity, but anything that goes beyond persuasion and into coercion must be avoided.

Where should you recruit?

The saying "it's not what you know, but who you know," really is the key to finding your targeted population. To walk around the streets looking for kids probably won't yield the results you want. Use your contacts. If you don't have contacts, start establishing them. Ask around, learn about youths in your community, find out where they hang out, research associations and clubs, go to community outreach centers.

Going to the resources available in your community, you can get extra help in finding youth, and finding other people to help. These people will know other people or groups that may benefit from your program.

A number of organizations are actively involved in mentoring, and may be good places to get youth referrals from your community:

• Schools
• Local service organizations
• State agencies
• Churches
• Parents
• Teachers
• School counselors
• Local Big Brothers/Big Sisters agency
• Family physicians
• Local YMCA or community center
• Local PTA chapter
• Local chamber of commerce
• School/student organizations and clubs
• Neighborhood Boys and Girls Clubs
• Family Therapists
• Coaches
• Local health department personnel

Of course, you should keep connected to the network of contacts that you establish. Make sure you always update your referral sources of any changes in referral policy or procedure. Keep people informed about your program, constantly remind them that you're recruiting and they'll keep you in mind when there's a recruiting opportunity.

How do you recruit youth?

Certainly, you will want to begin recruiting youth for your mentoring program as soon as the program is established. After all, you can't have a youth mentoring program without anyone to mentor!

While recruiting strategies vary, there are some constant elements you should not overlook. They're basic steps that can build the backbone of your recruiting. Feel free to throw your own ideas in and develop a recruiting plan that works for you.

Establish qualifying criteria for participating in your program

As discussed above, you will want to have clean-cut criteria to help you decide who is eligible to participate in your program. Ask yourself:

• Who are the children in the community who can use our services?
• What age group will we serve?
• What kinds of barriers and challenges will these children be facing?
• What kinds of families will they come from?
• Are there other criteria we wish to establish?

Following the answers you get from these questions, it will be easier for your target recruits to know if they fit in your program, or if your program fits them.

Create strategies to encourage referrals to your program

The strategies you may use to start recruiting youth to your program vary widely, but referrals from other organizations are a good place to start.

Start with the following list of questions:

• Who can refer kids to your program? Which adults work with children on a daily basis?
• How can people refer youth to your program? Is there a formal procedure in place?
• How will you attract the adults who can refer children to you?
• What kind of steps will potential protégés have to go through in order to join your program?
• How will you select protégés, if the demand for mentors exceeds the supply?

Referrals go back to establishing a network, and talking to people in your community. Remember that the more people know about you, hear from you, and see your face, the more likely it'll be for them to refer kids to your program and recommend it to other people.

Make youths want to participate

Greg Frost, coordinator of Health Careers Pathways in Lawrence, Kansas, says that one should plan activities that the youths will want to participate. It doesn't hurt to meet them and ask them what they want. If you provide something of their interest, they will talk to their friends and you'll have more youth wanting to participate in your program.

Police force work to attract participants for mentoring program

The police force in Ontario, Canada, developed a youth mentoring program to create a climate of tolerance and mutual respect between the police and youth. They wanted a cooperative atmosphere, and increase awareness of career opportunities in the police service. At the same time, they encourage youth and adults in various communities to develop an appreciation for policing.

The program in itself was attractive to young people. Who wouldn't want to have a police officer as a mentor? During orientation, the kids were also given a sweatshirt with Police/Youth Mentoring Program written on them. All the protégés were given their mentors voice mail extension numbers, and a work schedule of the days and times when the mentors were working. This way, they felt closer to their mentors.

Most of the activities between the mentor and the protégé were one-on-one, making the whole process more intimate and giving youths more attention. Mentors and the protégés spent significant time together, had a volleyball game between the protégés and the mentors, and a barbecue was held at Lake Ontario.

Overall protégés rated the program as excellent, admitting that their attitude and perceptions toward the police changed to a more positive perception. Some of the youths even felt that they would like to pursue the field of policing. They said that they would strongly recommend the program to their friends. Mentors felt a sense of gratification for being able to be positive role models.

Other ways to attract youths to your program are:

• Establish a pen pal program - kids will improve writing skills and learn about different backgrounds
• Offer activities involving sports - young people are usually into sports and matches can be a great way of bonding mentors and protégés
• Promote artistic activities that can be linked to the community, like making sleeping bags for the homeless, painting neighborhood murals, and organizing serve-a-thons. Kids will learn to be responsible, and have fun.
• Organize community explorations - they will appeal to the kids' adventurous urge, and they can learn about their community
• Create an awards program - young people will be more interested in doing good work, and it will build their self-esteem

This last suggestion is especially important once you have your program set up. You can use one of the participants as a recruiting tool. An honoree program can be of great help in this plan. Promote the opportunity and encourage nominations of outstanding young participants. They can be honored at an awards ceremony, and maybe given a certificate or medal.

Once you established these recognition efforts, have an honoree speak to a class in the local school. Let the honoree talk about their experience in your program, how they like it, and why others should join. Sometimes the message is more credible when coming from a peer. In addition to speaking to other students, the honoree can speak about your program at assemblies, through articles in the school newspaper, or at parent group meetings.

Many young people are looking for peers to become involved in a project. If they see others like them, who enjoyed your program and carried on their efforts, they will get excited to participate, too. Besides, you're creating role models. And it's fairly easy to get news coverage for an outstanding student in the community.

Advertise your program

The last step in recruiting youth to your program is to advertise. Does this mean going to your local media station and creating a public service announcement? It can, but there are a number of other ways to advertise as well:

• Promote your program in schools during morning announcements, at lunchtime or recess, or during school assemblies
• Provide public service announcements to be broadcast at youth sports events at halftime or during a lull in the action
• Send flyers home with schoolchildren to alert parents of your program and to inform them of your referral process
• Offer to give presentations to schools, youth clubs, churches, in the break rooms or boardrooms of local businesses, or to Rotary clubs on what your program is about and how to get children involved
• Use direct mail to send out brochures promoting your program and informing the community of your work
• Use your local media sources - newspapers, radio and television stations, cable companies--to increase the visibility of your program
• Set up a website describing your program. Make sure it contains information for both potential protégés and potential mentors, and be sure to include an on-line from and an e-mail address where people can request further information, volunteer their services, ask to participate, or refer potential protégés.

Make sure you take all the advantage you can from the exposure you'll get from advertising. Be visible and use your publicity well.

Also, it's important to be aware of what is going on around your community. This may help you find the right circumstances to do your recruiting. For instance, a county fair that lots of young people are going to attend may be a perfect opportunity for you to set up an information table.

In Summary

General Colin Powell, former Secretary of State, who also once served as the Chairman of America's Promise Alliance, says that children can be angels or devils, "depending on the kind of nurturing they receive from others. They can grow into responsible and contributing members of society, or they can become its dependents, predators and outcasts. The whole society has a stake in their destiny and a duty to help them grow up strong and confident." Let your mentoring program be a tool to give youths an ongoing relationship with a caring adult, and a healthy start for a healthy future.

Example: Recruiting for life

Dean Jones is the program coordinator of the Job Training Partnership Act in South Carolina, a program that provides free employment-training programs for individuals who qualify based on family income. The program takes individuals who are living at or below the national poverty level and find them a job. Some of the programs that Dean has been supervising for nine years are aimed directly at youths, and it gives jobs to about 300 young people every summer. Dean talked to us about his recruiting strategies.

"We do open up the program for anyone who is interested, provided they meet the eligibility. We advertise the program through public notices in the newspaper, the local newspaper, general flyers, brochures, we go out to human service meetings and we present them to the communities. I go out to housing communities. It's kind of an informal recruiting. We receive individuals as they walk in through our doors. "

The summer youth program is for individuals 14 to 21, Dean said. The objective of the program is to provide individuals with academic enrichment courses as well as some entry employment courses and some work experience training. The program also offers incentives that make the youths want to participate. "We hope to provide youth with an opportunity start taking a serious look at their career choices, to provide them with enrichment activities, which upgrade their basic skills during the summer and enable them to be better students while in school during the summer. We also pay them a wage. It also keeps them off the streets having a lot of time on their hands and gives them something structured to do with their summer. We have another program, a year-round one for youths 18 to 21 years old. We provide the same types of training, classroom training and on the job training programs as we do with the other program. During the summer, they receive instruction to upgrade those skills at least one or two grade levels over a period of eight weeks during the summer. Along with that program, we provide an entry employment assignment, where two days a week we provide them with jobs in the public sector in which they gain some work skills. They learn some of the minimal things as far as what's needed in terms of behavior, attendance and punctuality and all of those things that 14 and 15 year olds really need to start knowing that it takes to survive and be productive in the work force."

Students receive wages for classroom time as well as entry employment time. "They learn the concept of working, earning your pay, budgeting and balancing a checkbook. We try to give them a simple but thorough orientation to becoming a productive citizen. We have another type of activity through the Summer Youth program that is a residential program. We have a local college campus that enters into an agreement with us to provide a residential program for youth. We hope to increase awareness of youth, in particular minorities, with career opportunities. The students get an idea as to what type of career they may be able to pursue. It also gives them a brief orientation to the college campus life. They stay on college campus, they live on campus, they have a resident assistant in the dorms just like regular college students do. It may be up to five or six weeks during the summer. Hopefully, it will give them motivation to start taking a look at what they're going to do by the time that they leave for secondary school."

Dean said that teenagers like earning that money during the summer so they can do whatever they want and have fun. ?It gives them just another opportunity to earn the money and to have a job. In the other program during the summer months, we can take 16- to 21-year-olds and provide them with a job during the summer. We have a lot of students and a lot of youth who may not know exactly where the jobs are, or how to go out and get a job. So we go out and get the jobs for them and fill those jobs with the eligible applicants during the summer. And it gives them something they can put on their resume as far as a work history, as well as possibly doing a good job and having that employer to provide them with a reference."

The programs are overall very effective in Dean's opinion. "We're measured on the percentage of individuals that we train and place in employment. We're also measured on how long those individuals stay on the job. So, it's not only providing training, providing some job placement assistance, and putting them to work. It's also about taking a look at three months down the road whether they're still working. It is a good measure of whether or not you provided that individual with some quality skills." Dean said that, personally, he likes to see the change in an individual's life who came through his doors and didn't know what was the next step for them or where they were going to turn as far as receiving some quality skills and being able to obtain a job. "That's something you can't see on paper but something you can visualize and see personally."

Dean said that they try to provide success stories in their newsletters to inform the general public. "We provide them with an objective summary of what works and what doesn't work in the program. We have individuals who come back and provide a personal information to how the program worked for them, some of the things they are able to do now that they wouldn't be able to do had it not been for our program. We also have individuals who may just send in thank you cards and come back maybe two or three years down the road and just say "I want to tell you that you really made a difference and I really do appreciate what you did." We know we can't make a difference in everyone's life but we can just have one individual to come back and say this worked, and we know that it's working for more than just that individual. If we just had one person benefit from the program, it would give us a sense of gratification."

Tool: Recruiting strategy plan

This plan was designed to help you through the beginning of your recruiting. By answering the following questions, you will be able to figure out where and how to start recruiting.

Recruiting Plan

What is your main objective with this recruitment?

How many people do you want to recruit?

Between what ages?

Should the recruits have any specific characteristics (race, education, family income)?

From which area of town do you want to recruit?

Do you want to recruit in a specific income bracket? Between how much?

Where are the places where you can find the recruits you're looking for? (schools, malls, streets)?

How many people will be necessary to do the recruiting? What recruiting strategies will we use?

Where and when is the first recruiting session (in case you'll have one) supposed to be held?

After you contact your recruits, what is going to be our next step?

Do we have a back-up plan?

What do we do if the demand for mentors exceeds the supply?

Which kind of activities are we going to supply to attract youth?

How long is the recruiting process supposed to take?

In how many steps are we going to carry recruiting?

How are we going to do our advertising?

What are going to be criteria for recruiting?

Who should we contact for referrals?

___You understand what recruiting youth is

___You know who you should recruit

___You know where to go to recruit youth

___You know how to recruit youth

___You established qualifying criteria for participation

___You created strategies to encourage referrals

___You created ways to make youths want to participate

___You advertised your program

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

Congratulations! You've chosen to take on one of the most difficult, often frustrating, and ultimately rewarding responsibilities in the world: Acting as a mentor to an adolescent in need. To meet the challenges of this new relationship, you'll need an abundance of patience, creativity, and good humor. You'll also need top-notch communication, problem solving, and goal setting skills.

These next sections are for you, the adult mentor. In addition to outlining communication, problem solving, and goal setting techniques, they'll give you the tools you'll need to build and nurture this very important relationship.

Why is your relationship with your protégé important?

Few components of an inter generational program are as vital to its success as strong personal relationships. But like any other relationship, a successful relationship between you and your protégé won't just happen. It will take skill and hard work, on both your parts, to make your relationship grow.

Keep in mind that the foundations of your mentoring relationship are laid the minute you meet your protégé. The relationship will grow and change for as long as you're working together. So it's worth some effort on your part to make sure things go as smoothly as they can!

How do you build a mentoring relationship with youths?

There are a number of factors that go into building a youth mentoring relationship. In this section we will discuss a number of attitudes, skills, and activities, as well as how to build them into your relationship with your protégé.

The importance of modeling behaviors

Remember, as a mentor, you'll be a role model for your protégé. Your protégé will internalize and copy your actions, so it's important that you take your own actions seriously. Positive behaviors you can model include:

• Being consistent and reliable in your behavior
• Not using profanity
• Always keeping your word: Doing what you say you're going to do in a timely fashion
• Being friendly and polite
• Being helpful
• Being respectful

Cultural sensitivity

Your protégé may well have a different racial or socioeconomic background than yours. They will, typically, be somewhat younger than you, and will probably not have attained your level of education and life experience. It's very important, though, that you be conscious of any preconceived notions you have about your protégé based on these things, and avoid letting any prejudices you have color your relationship. Your protégé is an individual, with individual strengths and individual faults. Don't let preconceived ideas about your protégé's race/culture/class act as a barrier to your relationship!

At the same time, you will want to be aware of cultural and social issues that may have an impact on your relationship. Your awareness of and respect for your protégé's cultural traditions will go far toward strengthening the bond between you.

And remember: Your relationship with your protégé is not a "one-way street." By labeling the youth - in any way - you run the risk of overlooking everything he or she has to offer the relationship.

Building trust

Respecting your protégé's cultural beliefs is only one of many steps you can take toward gaining their trust. They may be wary at first, and may have trouble believing you'll be there when he or she needs you. No matter your protégé's background, they are unlikely to trust you automatically--you'll need to earn their trust. Here are some tips that will help you:

• First and foremost, give your protégé time to trust you. Trust doesn't happen overnight, it builds over time. It's something you have to earn.
• Keep conversations with your protégé confidential! The only exception to this rule is when you have reason to believe your protégé is going to hurt herself or someone else.
• Be sensitive to your protégé's daily concerns. His daily life may include issues of survival that require more energy than the mentoring relationship.
• Be patient and help your protégé through the storm and stress of adolescence!
• Be consistent. Reliability fosters respect and gives your protégé a safe environment in which to let down their guard.
• Show and tell your protégé that they are important to you.
• Encourage and praise your protégé. They can never have too much positive reinforcement!
• Don't be afraid to express your opinion. Feedback, both positive and constructively critical, helps give your protégé direction and motivation to continue reaching for their goals.
• Respect your protégé's right to make their own choices, even when you disagree with those choices.
• Be sensitive to your protégé's feelings. Think before you speak, and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions before you project them onto others.
• Take responsibility for contacting the protégé to set up meetings. Follow up when they don't call you. Schedule meetings in advance and then confirm them a day ahead of time. Be on time.
• Make every effort to show up for meetings. If you absolutely cannot make a meeting, cancel at least a day in advance and then reschedule as soon as possible.
• Measure progress in small steps and by how much your protégé has accomplished, not by how much you have left to do.

Trust, like communication, is a 2-way street. You must trust your protégé, and show this trust to them, in order to foster a productive relationship.

Communication skills

As a mentor, the most important thing you'll contribute to your protégé, besides helping the protégé reach their goals, is a trusting relationship. And communication is the key. But believe it or not, no one is a born communicator. Good communication takes time and practice!

Here are some of the keys to good communication:

• Active listening: Probably the most important of these. Active listening means listening with your head, not just your ears. It's the ability to focus on and feel what you're being told.
• Assertiveness: This means expressing your feelings effectively and appropriately, and setting boundaries where necessary. Some people are uncomfortable being assertive, but rest assured, it's a skill you can learn like any other!
• Empathy: This is simply understanding how the other person feels without being judgmental. Don't confuse empathy with sympathy, which means feeling sorry for or feeling pity for someone who's in a worse situation than you are.
• Open-mindedness: It's important to be as non-judgmental as possible and accept that your protégé has a right to hold their own beliefs (personal, political, religious, or any other) even if you disagree.
• Self-awareness: Recognize and accept your own limitations. It's important to identify your feelings and their source, and accept responsibility for your feelings and actions.
• Support: In a mentor relationship, it's important to offer moral support, acceptance, and encouragement despite personal disapproval over the decisions your protégé has made.
• Trust: This involves demonstrating your feelings and views to another and being open to her reactions. This means taking risks, making yourself vulnerable, and accepting the fact that sometimes your trust may be abused. Scary, isn't it! The pay-off, however is better communication for everybody.

Active listening

 As mentioned above, active listening is key to effective communication.

Whenever two people communicate, there are three components to whatever communication occurs: the "sender," the "receiver," and the message. So, for example, if you tell your protégé "I'll meet you at the library at four o'clock," you're the sender, your protégé is the receiver, and the message is "see you at the library at four." But what if your protégé isn't paying attention? They may show up at the wrong time, or the wrong place, or not at all. Even if the two of you were in the same room when you made arrangements to meet, the message was not received.

It's important that you become a good "receiver" for the messages your protégé is trying to send! This includes paying attention to the feelings and emotions behind what your protégé is saying. If you routinely "tune out" your protégé, trust will be eroded and you may not meet your protégé's needs.

This is where active listening comes in. An active or attentive listener:

• Hears what the person says
• Identifies and labels the feelings a speaker experiences
• Listens for undercurrent feelings not explicitly expressed by the speaker. Undercurrent feelings give you excellent insight into what's really going on inside your protégé and into attitudes and behavior that may have lasted a lifetime
• Recognizes personal values and personal history revealed in conversation. This can include the kind of family a person grew up in, what's important to the person, what the person's view of the world is, how this person treats other people, how this person treats their self.

The components of active listening:

The process of active listening also includes response, body language, and empathy. Let's discuss these in detail:

Responding:

In order to demonstrate interest and gain understanding, it's important for a listener to respond to a speaker verbally and non-verbally. Some verbal response techniques include:

• Paraphrases: Restatements of the speaker's feeling or meaning in your own words. Paraphrases help you guard against miscommunication and allow the speaker to clarify her own feelings.
  • "So the security guard accused you of stealing the shirt, and called you a liar when you said it was paid for."
• Feeling reflections: Statements that focus on the emotions or feelings you observe in the speaker. Feeling reflections show the speaker that you are listening and validating her emotions.
  • "You were angry when the guard accused you of stealing the shirt."
• Clarifications: Questions or comments you make to elicit more information from the speaker and to double-check your and the speaker's understanding of the problem.
  • "And you say this happened yesterday."
• Neutral statements: Brief verbal responses that show the speaker that you are following the conversation.
  • "I see. Go on."
• Summaries: Organizing statements that capture the speaker's emotions and concerns concisely. A summary helps integrate the information you've heard, leads to new directions in conversation, and helps wrap up a listening session.
  • "If I understand you, you feel this situation is unfair and your first reaction was to get angry."

Body language:

Another component of active listening and effective responding is non-verbal; the posture you have during a conversation clues the speaker in to how interested you are in the conversation. Remember to:

• Look the person in the eye - Good eye contact shows you that are paying attention and take the conversation seriously. Watching the speaker also lets you read the speaker's body language, which may say a lot about how they feel. However, in some cultures, steady eye contact is not considered polite. Be sensitive to these cultural differences.
• Use natural posture - Sit up in your chair with your legs crossed or together or stand up with your feet about a shoulder's width apart in a relaxed stance. If you slouch, rest your head on your hands, shift positions a lot, or cross your arms on your chest, you signal boredom, fatigue or restlessness.
• Sit in a helping position - If you sit across from a person with a table in between, you may put yourself in an "oppositional" stance. Sit at an angle and lean slightly towards (but don't crowd out!) your protégé.

Empathy:

As we mentioned earlier in the section, empathy means understanding how the other person feels without being judgmental. Empathy is often confused with sympathy, which means feeling sorry for or feeling pity for someone who's in a worse situation than you are. Your protégé doesn't want to be pitied, but they do want to feel like you understand.

• Concentrate on what the adolescent says
• Listen for the underlying feelings and values in the speaker's tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and in the content of what's being said
• Reflect your protégé's feelings and values back to them
• Summarize important issues and feelings you've heard

Communications pitfalls - what not to do:

The rationale of good listening is to encourage communication and understanding, and to pave the way for future sharing. Yet some common reactions or styles of relating can leave your protégé feeling uncomfortable, which shuts down communication. Some common pitfalls include the following:

• Interrupting a person while they are talking
• Arguing or constantly opposing the other person's point of view
• Blaming your feelings on someone else
• Passing judgment on a person's actions
• Demanding that someone do something or behave in a certain way
• Not recognizing a person's right to their own opinions
• Giving advice instead of working together to find alternatives
• Jumping to conclusions
• Pressuring someone to disclose information about themselves before they're ready
• Abusing confidentiality
• Some of these are common styles of communication to fall into; you've probably used some of them yourself on occasion. But think how frustrated you would be if you wanted a good listener and ended up with an inconsiderate talker! To practice your active listening skills, see the Tools section for an exercise on active listening.

Problem solving

The process of helping your protégé explore and understand her concerns and their solutions is called problem solving. The listener does not make suggestions or give advice to the speaker; rather, they help her understand the root cause of the problem and construct alternative solutions.

The steps to effective problem solving are as follows:

• Exploring the problem: Your protégé describes the problem as they understand it
• Understanding the problem: Using open-ended questions, you uncover important facts, feeling sources, personal limitations and preferences. Understanding the problem also helps your protégé to understand their emotions
• Defining the problem: You and your protégé restate the problem, locating its root causes. In this step, you can use open-ended questions and summaries to help your protégé clarify the problem
• Brainstorming alternatives: You and your protégé think of any and all options, no matter how far-fetched or impractical they seem, to dealing with the root of the problem
• Evaluating options: You and your protégé discuss the benefits and risks of each alternative, narrowing options down to the most agreeable or most plausible solutions
• Choosing the best option: Your protégé can now choose the best alternatives for the given situation, based on the solution's advantages and disadvantages and her personal values, abilities and limitations. It's important that you respect and support the decision she reaches, even if you don't entirely agree with it
• Taking action: This step entails the youth and mentor making observable efforts to bring about the solution best tailored to the speaker's needs. It would be easy to ignore this last step, but then the problem solving process wouldn't be the problem solving process!

Pay close attention and devote enough time to enhance your communication and problem -solving skills. They will be very important to your mentoring relationship.

What do you do when things don't work out?

The fact is, despite everyone's best efforts, not all relationships work out. You and your protégé may experience insurmountable cultural differences, communication problems, or a lack of common interests, or you may simply not get along. You may also find that your protégé has problems that cannot be addressed in the context of a mentoring program.

We encourage you to do your best to work things out between you and your protégé, if possible. Your protégé will see that there is at least one adult who is willing to "go the distance" for them, and may at the same time learn valuable lessons about determination and persistence. But you should also be aware of your own limitations. If the strained relationship between you and your protégé has become a barrier to your protégé reaching their goals, or if your protégé has serious problems that are beyond your ability to help, it's time to end the relationship. Be sure to notify program staff so your protégé may be reassigned to a new mentor. Also, if you suspect your protégé is experiencing an abusive home environment, a substance use problem, or a mental illness, notify program staff as soon as possible, so your protégé can be referred to the appropriate agency for help.

In Summary

Building your relationship with your protégé is a difficult but extremely rewarding enterprise. Progress may be slow, and you and your protégé may get frustrated. Hang in there! With some time, patience, and work you will make a real difference in your protégé's life. And don't forget to celebrate your successes!

Example: Personal testimonies

A school-based program to connect caring adults with youths in Kansas City conducted a satisfaction survey with their volunteer mentors.

Some of the answers from that survey illustrate how important and rewarding it is to mentor youths:

• "They [the children] have the opportunity to interact with adults. Hopefully, we serve as role models for these children. They know they have a friend that will listen to them."

• "It has been interesting and fun working with the children. I have learned so much from them and I think they've learned a few things from me, too."

• "It was a successful experience for both of us. They experience people who care about them. My protégé is going to Middle School next year and she called me at work to say she didn't want to lose me."

• "It makes [the children] feel better about themselves and hopefully will help them in their approach to their school work."

• "It increases their feeling of self-worth. Gives them someone to talk to. The children are wonderful and I get more from them then I give."

• "It gives them the opportunity to communicate their ideas, wants, fears, and experiences to an adult who has made time just form them. It gives them a sense of being special and the knowledge that they are important."

• "A lasting friendship has developed."

• "The kids were benefited greatly and looked forward to our meetings. They provided opportunity to grow in a positive manner."

• "Feedback from the teacher on improvements seen in the students made the experience very rewarding."

• "My tutoring was reading. We set a goal --and we made it! I feel my student looked forward to our sessions, he was well prepared. I think he benefited from the experience."

• "I feel the students get the attention they might be lacking. I feel it is a positive influence for the students."

Tool: Active listening

As we come to understand ourselves and our relationships with others better, we rediscover that "communication is not just saying words; it is creating true understanding." Active listening is an important skill in that process. Chances are that those who influence us most are powerful listeners. Whether instinctively or through practice, they have developed the skill of empathy. This activity comes from the Center for Rural Studies.

This exercise will help you practice some of basic active-listening skills:

• Attending Skills (verbal and non-verbal)
• Questions, Reflections, Summarization
• Skills of Self-expression: "1-2-3 Pattern"
• Practice Session on Effective Confrontation

The group should be divided into subgroups of three. There will be three roles in each subgroup: speaker, listener, and observer. Everyone will take each role once in this practice, so divide into your subgroup and decide who is going to take which role first.

Directions:

Objective - The point of the practice session is to give each person the opportunity to learn how to use verbal and non-verbal minimal encouragers and become a better listener.

To the speaker - Your task is to talk about something that is important to you: your job, your family, a decision, or a question. The practice will be more helpful if you talk about something you really care about, although role-playing is possible. You may find yourself in the midst of discussing something important when the allotted time runs out. If this happens, you could make an agreement with the person listening to carry on later, after work or during a break.

To the listener - Your task is to practice the skills of the session: eye contact, body language, silences, and verbal minimal encouragers. Don't panic! Just concentrate on following the speaker's train of thought. Try to limit your responses to the skills discussed in this session.

To the observer - Your task is to observe the listener's verbal and non-verbal skills. Observe and count only as many behaviors (eye contact, body posture, verbal minimal encouragers, topic jumps) as you can manage and still be relatively accurate.

Procedure:

The first speaker will talk with the listener for three or four minutes. The listener will then discuss the listening experience with the two other members of the subgroup. (To the listener: What was comfortable? What was difficult? Did you stay with the speaker?) Then the speaker will share his or her feelings about the listener's listening. (To the speaker: Did you feel listened to? Was it helpful? Did the listener have any habits you found distracting?) The observer will then share observations. This sharing process should take about three or four minutes.

Now everyone change places. Have the listener become the speaker, the speaker the observer, and the observer the listener. Go through the five minutes of talking and listening and five minutes of exchanging remarks twice more so that each person takes each role once. The entire practice session should take about 25 minutes.

When you are finished, form a large group. Your facilitator will help you share your practice experiences. How are these skills relevant to your work? Where else would they be useful? Go around the group, so that the participants have a chance to share at least one thing they have learned about themselves in this practice session.

___You know why your relationship with your protégé is important

___You know how to build a mentoring relationship with youths

___You are consistent and reliable

___You use correct English

___You do not use profanity

___You keep your word

___You are friendly and polite

___You are helpful and respectful

___You know the steps for building trust

___You know the keys to good communication

___You know what active listening is

___You understand the steps to problem solving

___You know what to do when things don't work out

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

WHY GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

As with any type of service program, you will want to monitor your mentoring program and get feedback about how it is working.

Monitoring your program will:

• Let you evaluate the performance of the program
• Inform you about areas of the program that need improvement
• Help you assess your goals for the program
• Help you better support the needs of the mentors and protégés
• Help you identify problems in the program at an early stage

​

WHEN DO YOU GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

Monitoring your program should be an ongoing process. The sooner you start monitoring and gathering feedback from your mentoring program, the sooner you will gain the benefits for doing so.

 

HOW DO YOU GATHER FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR MENTORING PROGRAM?

There are a number of ways you can monitor your mentoring program. Some of the more common methods include:

GROUP DISCUSSION

Mentor-protégé pairs should meet with program staff once or twice a year and discuss what they have been doing together and how it worked. They may also want to discuss issues that came up and how they resolved various conflicts.

INDIVIDUAL INTERVIEW

The program coordinators should meet on a regular basis - perhaps monthly - with the mentors to discuss problems and successes. This allows for individualized support of the mentor, while maintaining the protégés confidentiality.

The coordinator may ask questions such as:

• What are some of the things you do with the youth?
• What is most satisfying about the relationship?
• What is most frustrating about the relationship?
• What activities do you feel contribute to the success of your relationship?

LOGBOOKS OR JOURNALS

Mentors can record their experiences in a journal or logbook. Thus, they can follow their experiences over time, and to record achievements and goals met. Mentors can also keep photographs, slides, and charts of progress towards goals. The logbook would be available to program staff so that they can also follow the development of the relationship between mentor and protégé.

 

COMMON MENTOR-PROTÉGÉ PROBLEMS THAT FEEDBACK CAN IDENTIFY

THE MENTOR AND PROTÉGÉ ARE NOT COMPATIBLE

The fact is that not all relationships work out. There may be cultural differences, communication problems, or a lack of common interests between the mentor and protégé, or they may simply not get along. They should try their best to overcome these problems; however, forcing the issue will not give satisfactory results to anyone.

The participants can be re-matched, but first, a project coordinator should look at the underlying cause(s) of the problem to both avoid the same problem happening again, and to make adjustments to the program if necessary.

PROTÉGÉ RESENTMENT

Sometimes the protégé may feel like they have a mentor as a punishment. It's important to make sure that the protégé doesn't feel like they are being treated like a problem. If the protégé feels that way, resentment may arise. Mentoring is an opportunity, not a punishment. Mentors should have a respectful attitude toward their protégés and a solid selection process should weed out people with inappropriate attitudes.

THE NEEDS OF THE PROTÉGÉ ARE BEYOND THE MENTOR'S ABILITY TO HELP

Some youth may have behavioral or academic problems that cannot be addressed in the context of a mentoring program. An adolescent with ongoing substance use problems, a family in crisis, or severe behavioral difficulties may need professional help. Mentors should be aware of their limitations, and should not hesitate to refer their protégés to the appropriate program or agencies where necessary.

ADDITIONAL EVALUATION RESOURCES

In the Community Tool Box are a variety of evaluation resources you should also access. There are other resources on gathering information about problems experienced by youth, families and communities in the Community Assessment chapter, but start with the evaluation chapters and toolkit.

• Chapter 37. Operations in Evaluating Community Interventions
• Chapter 38. Some Methods for Evaluating Comprehensive Community Initiatives
• Chapter 39. Using Evaluation to Understand and Improve the Initiative
• Toolkit 12. Evaluating the Initiative

 

IN SUMMARY

Any program needs a mechanism to make sure it is achieving its goals. It's not different in a mentoring program. You need to know how it's doing so that you can better plan for the future and mend mistakes from the past. Feedback is even more important on mentoring programs because you're dealing with youths. They'll appreciate and benefit from feedback.

Example 1: A mentor-training experience in feedback

Dr. Maggie Stone directs the McNair Scholars Program at the Central Missouri State University in Warrensburg. She works with junior and senior undergraduates, usually first generation low-income or under-represented who are academically talented and capable of successfully completing doctoral programs. The program focuses entirely on research, and she talked to us about how it works.

"One of the reasons we really do enjoy having our faculty involved is that this gives them an opportunity to work with the student one-on-one rather than with an entire class," Dr. Stone said. "The mentoring process one-on-one is very, very different from standing up and talking to a whole classroom full of people for 50 minutes and then going away. So this is the opportunity for the student to self-select faculty and for the faculty to share a research experience with a student one-on-one over the course of a year. One-on-one relationships with students do differ."

Three times during the year that the program lasts, Dr. Stone conducts a feedback survey to follow how the program is going. "We ask [faculty members] to complete a faculty mentoring report form that outlines the amount of contact they've had with the student and the nature of that contact. And then asks them for some qualitative evaluations on how the student was responding." For the students, there's a feedback survey twice a year, at the halfway point in the program. "At the end of our program we ask them to complete an evaluation form which it looks at the entire program including the nature and quality of the mentoring they've gotten from their faculty member. And whether or not they would recommend that faculty member to somebody else."

Example 2: Satisfaction survey

One way of gathering feedback for a mentoring program is to conduct a satisfaction survey. In it you can access how valuable your mentors are finding the mentoring experience and they ca provide useful advice to make the program run smoother. Here are some quotes from a satisfaction survey done by a school-based program in Kansas City.

On training:

• "Longer sessions - we only meet with [the protégés] for one hour."

• "Have a volunteer with several years of experience help train new volunteers. Let the new people know about other volunteer's insights and experiences."

• "I'd like specific information on dealing with difficult and troubled kids."

On matching:

• "Giving us some information about the student would help--do they have a single parent, siblings, what are their needs?"

• "I felt my match was perfect. We have even seen each other outside the program."

• "My protégé and I were very sad we have to wait until next school year to see each other."

In general:

• "I thoroughly enjoyed my experience with my protégé and developed a bond. She seemed to look forward to and enjoy our meetings."

• "If a student intends to commit to a full semester with a volunteer, it would be helpful, to interview the students to find out his or her needs and then make the appropriate match."

• "I feel that it helps to make children feel special, maybe they will even strive harder to learn."

• "I enjoyed working with the student and seeing how much he improved by the end of the school year."

Tool: Satisfaction survey

Here is a sample of a satisfaction survey form. This kind of feedback evaluation is very useful because it allows you to find out if your program is working well, and what the volunteers have to suggest for improvements. Being an anonymous source of feedback, people will freely discuss what they like and dislike about the mentoring program they are involved with.

Satisfaction Survey

How long have you been involved with this project?

___0 - 3 months

___4 - 6 months

___7 months - 1 year

___2 years

___More than 2 years

How satisfied are you with your volunteer program experience?

    Not Satisfied                           Very Satisfied

1          2          3          4          5

What could the school or the program do to improve your experience?

 

How satisfied were you with your training?

1          2          3          4          5

What would improve your training?

 

How satisfied were you with your match / placement?

1          2          3          4          5

What would improve your match / placement?

 

How worthwhile was your mentoring experience?

   Waste of time                         Highly worthwhile

1          2          3          4          5

Please, include some comments:

 

What additional information, conditions, or resources would have improved your experience?

 

Would you encourage participation in this program to your friends, family, or other adults?

___Yes

___No

Is this initiative good for the children?

___Yes

___No

In what ways is it good for the children?

 

 

___You know why monitoring and gathering feedback from your mentoring program is important

___You want to evaluate the performance of the program

___You need to inform about areas of the program that need improvement

___You want to assess your goals for the program

___You want to help better support the needs of the mentors and protégés

___You want to identify problems in the program at an early stage

___You know when you should do it

___You know how you should do it

___You understand the common mentor-protégé problems that monitoring can identify

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

 

One-on-one instruction, or mentoring, is one of the oldest forms of teaching. Our parents and grandparents are our earliest mentors; later, we may be mentored by--or act as mentors to--brothers, sisters, and friends.

Mentor programs work because they provide encouragement and guidance to each adolescent or child that participates. This introductory section offers a general discussion on the rationale behind such programs and outlines the advantages they provide. Reflection questions will help you decide if you want to begin a mentoring program, and an overview of the rest of the sections in the chapter is given.

What is a mentoring program?

Mentor or partnership programs connect people who have specific skills and knowledge (mentors) with individuals (protégés) who need or want the same skills and advantages to move up in work, skill level, or school performance. Participants in mentor programs, both young and old, share their values and personal goals in a mutually respectful, supportive way which leads to a more enriched life for both. A successful mentor program helps break down barriers and creates opportunities for success.

Why should you set up a mentor or partnership program?

There are many benefits of such programs for both the mentor and the protégés:

• Among youth in mentoring programs, there have been recorded increases in:
  • Self-esteem
  • Regard for and comfort with members of other races
  • Ability to maintain positive relationships with other adults
  • Decision-making ability in the career-choice process
• Mentoring programs may noticeably increase school attendance among mentees
• Roles of non-familial adults in the lives of at-risk children have been shown to be beneficial in increasing resiliency and success
• In programs that specialize in youth mentoring, people from outside a youth's everyday world cooperate to build positive assets for the youth, giving the community a stake in her or his future
• Mentor programs open new opportunities and understanding for mentors and protégés 
• Mentor programs offer a way to pass valuable skills and knowledge from person to person
• Passing opportunities along from one person to another helps ensure that those living in a community have the ability to maintain and improve it
• Mentors and role models have a chance to create a new relationship and enjoy successfully teaching someone something new

Good reasons for starting a mentor program

• Mentoring builds self-esteem
• The knowledge and alternatives gained through a partnership program allow teens and adults to explore different career possibilities not often available in a classroom or work setting
• Mentor programs break down stereotypes surrounding certain professions and populations. Mentor relationships promote awareness of a community's diversity
• Partnerships build teamwork, whether learning occurs in school or on the job. 

How do you decide whether to set up a mentor program?

Mentor programs set up learning/helping relationships between two adults, between an adult and an adolescent, or between two adolescents. The kind of mentoring program you choose will depend upon the goals your protégés want to accomplish, but the name of the game in all mentor programs is to increase opportunity and break down barriers.

When thinking about whether or not to establish a mentor program in a school, workplace, or neighborhood, answering the following questions can help you decide if it is the right idea for you.

• What are the advantages of a mentor program over another strategy to get people involved with the community, young people, and their futures?
• Is a mentor program an appropriate strategy for the population you want to reach?
• What will youngsters, employees, or community members gain from having a mentor?

The next point to consider is the type of mentoring program you want. Three different types are possible: adolescent-adolescent, adult-adult, and adult-adolescent. Although this chapter focuses primarily on adult-adolescent (youth) programs, many of the skills discussed can be transferred to either of the other types of program.

Before going further, however, let's look at the different kinds of relationships that develop and activities to achieve protégés' goals in each of the three types of mentoring programs.

Adult-adolescent mentor programs:

• Mentors provide adolescents with concentrated adult attention
• Adults can model the importance of education, hard work, and responsibility as paths to success
• Young protégés build self-confidence as they are accepted and supported
• Adults experience the development of a meaningful relationship with a youth and the chance to teach
• Adult mentors broaden adolescents' horizons and expose them to new experiences 

Adolescent-adolescent mentor programs:

• Mentoring usually focuses on improving academic performance and school attendance
• Students can provide peer tutoring, support and counseling
• The grades of both student mentor and student protégé typically increase when combined with tutoring

With adult-adult mentor programs:

• One adult trains a new or promoted employee "on the job"
• An experienced employee who is retiring or taking on a new assignment might mentor another employee
• One adult teaches another job skills for job placement
• The organization benefits from the protégés' job skills

Even though goals vary from program to program, organized mentoring is anchored in the belief that we can "reinvent" ourselves. That is, anyone can enhance his or her situation, surroundings, and level of success by becoming actively involved in his or her own self-improvement.

Overview

Now that you've become more familiar with mentoring, the rest of the sections in this chapter will discuss the basics of setting up a program, including:

• Recruiting Mentors for Your Program - find the best people for the job. Consider what qualities make a good mentor, and how to recognize and recruit people with those characteristics.
• Training Adult Mentors - determine what adult mentors should be trained on, and decide what the mentor-protege relationship should include.
• Recruiting Youth to Your Mentoring Program - look at mentoring programs from the other side to determine what's important to youth. This includes deciding on your target audience and how to best market to them, and how to talk with youth about what to expect from a mentor relationship.
• Building Youth/Mentor Relationships - help mentors communicate well with their protégés, and enhance skills in problem-solving, modeling, and coaching.
• Youth Goal Setting - help young people set goals, and discuss how these goals can help them achieve their dreams.
• Monitoring and Gathering Feedback from Your Mentoring Program - make sure your program remains on track and effective 

In Summary

We have seen the importance caring adults and young people can make in each other's lives. A mentoring program that is both well-planned and well-run can have a tremendous impact on the lives of many people.

Example: Canadian Coalition for Global Health Research Mentoring Modules

Mentorship is recognized across disciplines in both academic and practice settings as an important contributor to building capacity within organizations and among individuals. There are many definitions and types of mentorship. Mentorship can be spontaneous or formal, direct or indirect, and short- or long-term. Mentoring Modules: An Introduction to Mentorship was developed by Katrina Plamondon for the Canadian Coalition for Global Health Research to provide a foundation for exploring these different forms of mentorship in ways that can contribute to creating a culture of mentorship. These modules are applicable to any section in this chapter on Youth Mentoring Programs.

You understand what a mentoring program is:

___You understand that mentor or partnership programs connect people who have specific skills and knowledge (mentors) with individuals (protégés) who need or want the same skills and advantages to move up in work, skill level, or school performance

___You understand that there are many advantages to setting up a mentor or partnership program

You have decided that beginning a mentoring program is the appropriate strategy for your group or organization:

___You have determined the advantages of a mentor program over another strategy to get people involved with the community, young people and their futures

___You have decided that a mentoring program is an appropriate strategy for the population you want to reach

___You know what young people, employees, or community members gain from the mentoring relationship

You understand the different relationships that can develop in mentoring program:

___Adolescent-adolescent mentor programs

___Adolescent-adult mentoring programs

___Adult-adult mentor programs

___You know what information is available in other sections of this chapter

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.

• Why is it important for youth to set goals?

• When should youth set goals?

• How do youth set goals?

• Planning for action

• How do you review and adjust mentoring goals?

Why is it important for youth to set goals?

From time to time, everyone experiences difficulty getting started on the path to success. Each of us has a unique set of strengths that help us, as well as challenges that hinder us on the way. Goal setting helps us separate our strengths from weaknesses and make realistic plans for improving our lives.

Goal setting provides focus and context to a mentor pair. Once you have established a relationship with your protégé, the two of you together can start deciding on goals for the relationship and the coming year.

• You may wish to develop a contract for your relationship, outlining personal, and social and educational goals for both the short term – the next month, the next six months, the next year – and the long term – two or three or five years down the road
• You can periodically assess your protégé’s progress in reaching their goals
• You can celebrate when your protégé reaches goals or achieves something significant

When should youth set goals?

The purpose of most mentoring programs is to help youth reach their goals.   While it may seem that goal-setting should be one of the first things that happens in a mentoring relationship, that’s not always the best strategy.  The various forms in the Tools part of this section are useful, but they’re long and call for a certain amount of soul-baring. They can also be intimidating or off-putting to a youth, especially if their reading skills are poor, or they have low self esteem. If they are to fill out these forms honestly, they have to believe that you, as a mentor, will respect their decisions and their aspirations.

For that reason, it’s important that you firmly establish your relationship before you start any formal goal-setting. Protégés need time to get to know and trust mentors before they’re willing to reveal themselves and share their goals and dreams. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk with your protégé about the need for setting goals in some areas – school is a good example – but they have to see you as something more than just another adult trying to get them to do things they don’t want to do before they’ll actually buy into goal-setting, and approach it seriously.  These are their goals, after all, not yours, and they have to believe that, and believe that you care about helping them to achieve them before they’ll put in full effort.  It’s far better to take some time and have the young person set goals they believe in, care about, and are willing to work toward than to have them pay lip service to the process, with no intention of doing anything about it.

How do youth set goals?

The main thing to remember is that your protégé’s goals must be their own, not goals someone else has set for them. Even extremely lofty goals should be respected, and you can show your protégé how to break down that goal into smaller steps on the way to reaching the goal. For example, a good education is an important first step in becoming president of a corporation.  Perhaps more to the point, doing tonight’s homework is the first step toward getting a good education.

Characteristics goals should have

• Conceivable: The protégé should be able to define her goal and see it clearly, so she can understand what the steps are to achieve it.
• Believable: The protégé must believe she can reach her goal.
• Achievable: The goals the protégé sets must be within his strengths and abilities. For example, somebody who has never lifted weights before probably should not set a goal of a 300 lb. bench press by next week.  (That could be an achievable long-term goal, however.)
• Controllable: To the extent possible, the protégés reaching the goal should not depend on someone else. For example, getting a job may depend on the job market and your protégés parents' approval. However, talking to her parents about getting a job or developing a resume are things your protégé can control.
• Measurable: The goal should be measurable by a certain time or quantity. If the goal is to get an "A" in algebra, then the protégé should know what grades he needs to get on tests and assignments.
• Desirable: The goal should be something your protégé really wants to do, not something she feels she must do, or should do. For example, earning a living is something that we have to do, while learning to play baseball may be something we would like to do.
• Help you grow: The goal should never be self-destructive or be destructive towards others or society. You should help your protégé to distinguish between constructive and destructive goals.

Common methods used in preparing youth for goal setting:

Now that you know the basic characteristics of goals, we will discuss some methods you and your protégé can use to prepare to set some goals.

A note: The surveys in the Tools part of the section (and many others that you’ll find) are long and comprehensive. They ask for a great amount of honesty and self-reflection on the part of proteges. Some teens will find this stimulating and thought-provoking, but others – and many younger kids as well – will see it as a perhaps-impossible chore, an invasion of privacy, or yet another way to remind them of their failings. We’ve already discussed the need to establish a firm relationship before formally addressing goal-setting, but sometimes even this may not be enough to overcome resistance to this kind of task.

There are at least three ways around this situation. Which you use depends on individual circumstances and the character of your protege, your relationship, and the context surrounding the activity. One is to use a long survey and spread consideration of the form and of goals over several meetings, with goal-setting taking up only part of each, and at least some of the rest being devoted to a fun activity. Another is to find a more manageable structure to use: your organization may already have one.

The third is for you and your protege to develop your own goal-setting process, after some discussion about goal-setting and why your protege may want to engage in it. In many ways, this is often the best alternative. It ensures that the protege buys into the task, and sees it for what it is – a way for them to think about their life and aspirations, and to make plans to reach their goals. It encourages honesty on their part, again because they are planning the process, and also because they can see it as to their advantage. And it acts to further your relationship, because it’s a partnership: rather than something being forced on them by yet another adult, it becomes a mutual exercise in respect – for their potential, and for your ability and desire to help them realize it.

• Youth concerns survey: A questionnaire that asks the youth to evaluate certain aspects of her life, such as family and social relationships, school achievement, and personal capacities. For an example of a youth concerns survey, see the Tools section.
• Skills inventory: A survey/questionnaire that asks the youth to mark off proficiencies in job, professional, and academic skills and rate their importance to him. In the Tools section you can find a sample skills inventory.

It's a good idea for you and your protégé to fill out the concerns survey or skills inventory together. As soon as the surveys have been completed, the two of you can discuss your protégé’s priorities and preferences. During this discussion, you should:

• Define challenges the youth faces, including personal goals the youth would like to realize and barriers to reaching those goals
• Make long- and short-term objectives to help approach personal goals and overcome challenges
• Brainstorm different strategies your protégé might use to reach the objectives
• Select a point of departure to start the goal-achievement process
• Discuss ways to celebrate progress made in meeting objectives
• Decide how to evaluate progress on reaching goals, and how to decide when changing goals is necessary

The product of your discussion should be an action plan that contains an illustration of short- and long-term objectives, dates around which they will be completed, strategies to use in achieving them, people to contact for help, valuable resources, and means by which to celebrate completed tasks. As you can see, each action plan is highly individualized.

During the goal setting process, it's your job to help your protégé recognize and clarify personal strengths, weaknesses, and barriers, and to help them prioritize preferences and set up realistic tasks that can lead to small successes from which further work can be completed. The most powerful learning experiences are those that are doable, but make you stretch.  In most cases, that’s what objectives should be like.  You want the protégé to succeed, but also to feel like they had to work to do it.

Remember, the most valuable tools that you can use during goal setting are:

• Respect (let the protégé decide the direction of goal-setting)
• Patience (give the youth time to make up her mind.)
• Encouragement (support the protégé’s decisions and applaud his initiative)

Even if goal setting takes place at the start of the mentor relationship, it really is an ongoing process. You, your protégé, and program staff will monitor pair progress throughout the life of the mentoring relationship and make recommendations for changes or modifications that need to be made. If there’s not much progress, you and your protégé may have to reevaluate your goals or brainstorm for alternate strategies to complete the action plan.

Planning for action

After your protégé has finished identifying his goals, it's time to talk about an action plan. A good action plan will help your protégé recognize all the steps he needs to take to meet his goals. It also helps your protégé prepare for the difficulties he might face. You'll want to discuss:

• What actions are needed to reach the goal
• Who will take those actions (if someone besides the youth is involved)
• When the actions will be taken
• Resources needed in support of the action
• Difficulties your protégé might face, and possible solutions
• People your protégé should talk to about their plans

Help your protégé make an action plan for each of the top priority issues they identify in the Youth Concerns Survey.

How do you review and adjust mentoring goals?

Throughout the course of the mentoring relationship, your protégé’s goals may change. The two of you may find the goals you have set are too challenging, not challenging enough, or simply no longer relevant to your protégé’s life. Even if the goals don't change, you'll want to keep track of the progress your protégé makes toward her goals, as well as additional steps, if any, she should take in order to reach those goals.

To help your protégé review and, if necessary, adjust her goals, there are several things you can do:

• Encourage your protégé to track her own progress toward her goals. For example, if her goal is to get an A in Algebra, she can create a wall chart or table that lists each test score she gets and what scores she needs to receive in order to meet her goal.
• Record your protégé’s steps toward his goal in a journal or logbook, and record achievements and goals met. You can also keep photographs, slides, and charts of his progress toward his goals.
• Periodically meet with your protégé to review successes, discuss places where she fell short and help her understand why that happened, and evaluate her progress.

Celebrating successes

All of us need to feel that our accomplishments are noteworthy. Recognizing big and small efforts will motivate your protégé, add fun to your relationship and the goal-setting process, and give your protégé something to anticipate. Celebrating is a nice way for a mentor pair to sit back and enjoy the collaboration. Ways you can reward progress include:

• Setting aside a meeting for a fun activity that your protégé chooses
• Sponsoring or asking the program to sponsor a semi-annual picnic, party, or awards ceremony recognizing protégé achievement
• Presenting your protégé with a certificate or blue ribbon of achievement
• Giving your protégé a gift certificate or something else meaningful
• Publishing a newsletter or sending out an internal press release announcing your protégé’s progress
• Give lots of verbal praise - there's nothing quite like receiving compliments from your friends

Protégés may work hard but have difficulty recognizing the progress they make, causing them to lose hope and motivation. They may also be used to having their actions go unnoticed or rewarded by the adults in their lives, leaving them to feel like they can't change their situation or like no one cares. That's why celebrating successes is so important to the mentoring relationship. Remember: Every kind of effort deserves an A.

In Summary

In order to make progress, your protégé needs to set goals that are challenging yet achievable. You and your protégé should identify and decide which are the most important goals they should try to reach.

Example: Completed action plan form

Goal Setting

1/4/2013

Initiative:

Date:

Action step or change to be accomplished:

To get an A in Algebra

What actions or changes will occur:

Parents and guardians who contribute (by helping with homework, and creating good study environment); will study more and dedicate more hours to algebra; will take fewer breaks and watch less TV in order to study more.

Who will carry it out:

Me (the protégé) with the help of my mentor and parents.

By when (for how long):

Start as soon as possible and carry it out until algebra grades substantially improve.

What resources are needed:

Books, school material, time, and recognition from parents and mentor. Celebration after accomplishments.

Communication (who should know what):

Parents and mentor must be aware of the developments and status of this action plan so that they can provide support and recognition.

___You know why it is important for youth to set goals

___You know when youth should set goals

___You know how to set youth goals

___You know common methods to prepare youth goal setting

___You know how to plan for action

___You understand how do you review and adjust mentoring goals

___You know the importance of celebrating successes

Tool 1: A contract for your relationship

A mentor/protégé contract is a tool for discussion. Since communication is essential to any relationships, it can help you clarify expectations on many issues before conflict arises.

Use this contract in the following manner:

• Respond to every question with your preferences. Being honest now will save time and hurt feelings later
• Examine and discuss your differences, focusing and understanding the reasons behind answers that are different from yours
• Try to agree on a way to compromise or resolve those differences now, before conflicts arise
• Write down your agreements

Mentor/protégé contract

Relationship

• Are you willing to trust your mentor?
• Are you willing to trust your protégé?
• How many times a week are the protégé and mentor supposed to meet?
• During these meetings, what are they supposed to do? (talk, go to the movies, study?)
• How much time will be allotted for study? How much time will be allotted for fun activities?

Personal

• Where are the meetings supposed to take place?
• What is an activity that you love doing?
• What is an activity that you hate doing?
• Are you outgoing? Would you rather go out or stay home?
• What do you like to talk about?
• What do you hate to talk about?
• What's your favorite type of movie? What's your favorite type of music?

Education

• In which area of study are mentor and protégé going to focus first?
  • And later?
• What is going to be the method of measuring progress?
• How are mentor and protégé going to celebrate good results?

Tool 2: Action Plan form

Initiative	Date
Action step or change to be accomplished:
What actions or changes will occur:
Who will carry it out:
By when (for how long):
What resources are needed:
Communications (who should know what):

Tool 3: Youth concerns review

This is a questionnaire that asks the youths to evaluate certain aspects of their lives such as family and social relationships, school achievement, and personal capacities.

The purpose of this guide is to help protégés think about their dreams and goals and how to reach them. The protégé may complete this by him or herself or with a mentor, parent, friend, or someone who cares about him or her.

The questions in the first part ask the protégé to think about personal resources and the challenges to be faced. The second set of questions is supposed to help identify what is important to the youth and what he would like to change. Then the youth chooses the most important goals and thinks about how to meet those goals.

PART ONE

Dreams for My Life

Spend some time thinking about your dreams for your future, or your goals in life. Some of these may be short term (you want to do them in the next few months or a year). Others might be longer term (you will need more than a year to accomplish them).

How would you like your life to look overall?

Start by thinking of the big picture. What are your dreams and goals for your life in general? Write down your ideas here.

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do you see yourself doing in the following areas soon? Later?

Now think about specific areas of your life. Write down your short-term and long -term goals in each of the following areas.

• How far do you hope to go in school? What type of education do you want?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kind of job do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What are your dreams for health? For security and being safe?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kind of family life do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What kinds of friendships and personal relationships do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What types of fun and recreation do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What are your dreams for living on your own or being independent?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In what ways do you hope to be involved in your community?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• What sort of spiritual life do you hope for?

SOON:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LATER:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Assets and Strengths

Skills and Experience:

Take a few minutes to think about your skills and experiences. Please circle the items from the list below that identify skills and experiences of which you are proud. Then write down an example or an explanation for each item you circle. At the end, write in skills and experiences that you value, but are not listed.

• I can read well _____________________________________________________
• I can write well _____________________________________________________
• I can speak a different language _______________________________________
• I am good at math __________________________________________________
• I can use computers ________________________________________________
• I can drive well _____________________________________________________
• I can paint or draw __________________________________________________
• I can organize things ________________________________________________
• I can fix things _____________________________________________________
• I can play with children ______________________________________________
• I can care for children _______________________________________________
• I can play sports ___________________________________________________
• I can build things___________________________________________________
• I can cook ________________________________________________________
• I can sew/knit/crochet _______________________________________________
• I can grow plants ___________________________________________________
• I can target shoot well _______________________________________________
• I can hunt well _____________________________________________________
• I can talk with friends and family _______________________________________
• I have lived in other countries __________________________________________
• I have held a job ____________________________________________________
• I can play a musical instrument well _____________________________________
• I can do arts and crafts well ____________________________________________
• I care for animals well ________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________

Personal Qualities:

Take a few minutes to think about your personal qualities. What characteristics do you have? How do you act toward others? Please circle the items from the list below that identify personal qualities of which you are proud. Then write in an explanation or example for each item you circle. At the end, write in any personal qualities that you value, but may not be listed.

• I am caring of others _________________________________________________
• I am courteous/respectful of others ______________________________________
• I am religious/spiritual ________________________________________________
• I am kind to others ___________________________________________________
• I am cheerful toward others ____________________________________________
• I am tolerant of others ________________________________________________
• I can be trusted by friends and family _____________________________________
• I am loyal to my family and friends _______________________________________
• I am helpful to others _________________________________________________
• I am friendly toward others _____________________________________________
• I am responsible ____________________________________________________
• I am sensitive _______________________________________________________
• I am loving ________________________________________________________
• I am up-front with people _______________________________________________
• I am direct _________________________________________________________
• I am honest ________________________________________________________
• I am shy/quiet ______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________
• (add your own)______________________________________________________

My Challenges

Take a few minutes to think about possible barriers or obstacles that may be holding you back from doing things you want. Please circle the items from the list below that identify those barriers or obstacles. Then write down an explanation or example for each item you circle. At the end, write in any barriers or obstacles that you encounter, but are not listed.

• It's hard for me to read _________________________________________________
• It's hard for me to write ________________________________________________
• It's hard for me to add or subtract _________________________________________
• It's hard for me to find the time to do some things ____________________________
• It's hard for me to get organized __________________________________________
• It's hard for me to get places _____________________________________________
• It's hard for me to pay for things I want______________________________________
• It's hard for me to make new friends _______________________________________
• It's hard for me to understand what people say and do _________________________
• It's hard for me to talk with some people ____________________________________
• It's hard for me to get people to understand me _______________________________
• It's hard for me to stay out of jail __________________________________________
• I experience discrimination ______________________________________________
• I experience violence __________________________________________________
• I experience abuse or neglect _____________________________________________
• I experience drug or alcohol abuse _________________________________________
• I experience poverty ___________________________________________________
• I experience a disability ________________________________________________
• I experience fear _____________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________
• (add your own) ______________________________________________________

Please take a few minutes to look back over the last section where you circled your strengths and abilities. Keep those qualities in mind as you go on to Part Two.

PART TWO:

Determining what is important to you

To set goals for yourself, you may work by yourself or with a mentor, parent, or friend to answer the questions that follow. Please go through each issue in every area and answer the following questions:

• Is this issue one that I care about?
• Am I where I want to be with this issue?

Next to each issue in the list are two columns where you circle your answer:

• In the left-hand column, circle "No" if you don't care about the issue; or circle "Yes" if you do care about the issue.
• In the right-hand column, circle "Yes" if you would like to do better at or with the issue; or circle "No" if you don't feel you need to do better at or with the issue, or if doing better at or with the issue is unimportant to you.

At the end of each section under the heading "Other", you will find space to write down any other issue that you think is important.

	I care about:		I would like to do better at:
Education and Training
Getting a high school diploma or GED	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having good grades	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a college degree	Yes	No	Yes	No
Going to tech / trade school	Yes	No	Yes	No
Passing a specific class	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting to the next grade	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having better attendance	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having good test scores	Yes	No	Yes	No
Joining in extracurricular activities	Yes	No	Yes	No
Learning and understanding things	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having the skills I need to get a good job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my teachers	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my classmates	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Work
Getting part-time work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting full-time work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting on-the-job training, or becoming an apprentice in a job I want	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a better job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting another job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Starting a business	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being at work on time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Doing better at my work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting more done at my job	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with my boss	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with other workers	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting more respect for my work	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting a raise	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Health and Safety
Exercising more	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not using tobacco	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not doing drugs or drinking	Yes	No	Yes	No
Feeling good about myself	Yes	No	Yes	No
Eating well (eating healthy food)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Eating less junk food and fast food	Yes	No	Yes	No
Avoiding STDs and HIV/AIDS	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not getting hurt or killed	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not hurting or killing anyone	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to go to a doctor	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to go to a dentist	Yes	No	Yes	No
Looking and feeling good	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting vaccinated against diseases	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not feeling sad or badly about myself	Yes	No	Yes	No
Wearing seat belts and a bike helmet (when applicable)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting enough sleep	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not driving drunk	Yes	No	Yes	No
Not riding with a drunk driver	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Relationships
Having more friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Making better friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having friends who are good for me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more accepted	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more assertive	Yes	No	Yes	No
Communicating better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time with adults	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being around people who care for me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time with friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having different kinds of friends	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a better listener	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good friend	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good sister / brother	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting along with people	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Family
Getting along better with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Staying away from sexual or physical abuse	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being treated well at home	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting to know my family better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to express anger without being violent	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using discipline without violence	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using discipline that is fair and consistent	Yes	No	Yes	No
Making rules that are reasonable	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having my family show me they care about me	Yes	No	Yes	No
Showing my family that I care about them	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having family traditions and celebrations	Yes	No	Yes	No
Doing more things with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to talk and share my feelings with my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Recreation and Leisure
Enjoying my free time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having more free time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Playing more sports	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending time doing things I like to do	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending time doing arts and crafts	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spending more time outside	Yes	No	Yes	No
Having safe, late-night activities to do	Yes	No	Yes	No
Finding a hobby	Yes	No	Yes	No
Joining an organization	Yes	No	Yes	No
Meeting people with the same interests	Yes	No	Yes	No
Trying something new	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Independent Living
Living on my own	Yes	No	Yes	No
Developing my own interests	Yes	No	Yes	No
Managing my money	Yes	No	Yes	No
Learning how to enjoy being alone	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being able to get around (such as on a bus, bike, train, etc.).	Yes	No	Yes	No
Taking better care of my stuff	Yes	No	Yes	No
Paying my bills on time	Yes	No	Yes	No
Reducing my expenses	Yes	No	Yes	No
Finding a good place to live	Yes	No	Yes	No
Planning better for future bills	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting things I need around the house	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting food for my family	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Community Involvement
Volunteering or becoming a volunteer	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good neighbor	Yes	No	Yes	No
Helping others	Yes	No	Yes	No
Getting involved in solving problems in my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Knowing more about my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Using more community resources (such as parks and recreation programs)	Yes	No	Yes	No
Voting	Yes	No	Yes	No
Participating in community activities	Yes	No	Yes	No
Changing / influencing my community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Helping others get involved in the community	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being a good role model	Yes	No	Yes	No
Other (be specific):	Yes	No	Yes	No
Spiritual Development
Joining a church / mosque / synagogue	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more active in my religious group	Yes	No	Yes	No
Practicing my faith better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Understanding my religion better	Yes	No	Yes	No
Showing that I care about other people	Yes	No	Yes	No
Being more accepting of others	Yes	No	Yes	No
Treating others as I want to be treated	Yes	No	Yes	No

Once the youth has finished this section, a mentor, parent, or other caring adult should help them with the remaining sections.

PART THREE:

Recognizing Personal Strengths

These are issues that the youth should feel proud of and needs to work on to maintain and protect.

After the youth has finished answering the questions in part two, it is time to select his or her strengths and concerns. Go back to the question section and help the youth find the items where he or she circled Yes (indicating that he or she does care about the issue) and No (indicating that he or she doesn't feel the need to do better at the issue). These items are personal strengths. Go back to the questions section and use your protégés responses to help him or her identify his or her personal strengths.

Copy from Part Two those personal strengths that the youth agrees on:

Encourage the youth to celebrate and share these strengths with others!

Identifying Personal Concerns / Problem Areas

To identify possible personal problem areas, the youth should go back to the question section and draw a ring around any issues where the circles are side by side.

Those items where the youth circled Yes that he or she does care about the issue and Yes that he or she would like to do better at the issue are possible areas of concern that the youth can work on to improve. Review them and list below all those items of concern that the youth wants to do something about soon.

When choosing the main issues, the young person should think about the following:

• Issues that may help the youth plan for the future
• Issues that the youth can do something about
• Issues that the youth is ready to work on
• Issues that would seriously affect his or her well-being if he or she doesn't work on it

Go back over the questions in Part Two and write below the issues that the youth may want to work on:

Prioritizing Personal Concerns

Before the youth can begin planning to reach goals for each item, he or she needs to prioritize the problems and rank them according to their importance. The youth should rank the list of issues by him or herself, with 1 being the highest priority.

After the issues have been ranked, the youth and mentor should discuss the list and why issues are in that order.

For example, an individual has ranked the following seven items:

Item	Rank
Volunteering or becoming a volunteer	6
Getting enough sleep	7
Being at work on time	4
Not doing drugs or drinking	1
Being a good friend	3
Practicing my faith better	5
Having good grades	2

• In the chart, have the youth fill in the issues listed above as Personal Concerns / Problem Areas
• Then, have the youth think about each issue by itself, asking the following questions:
  • How important is this issue?
  • Does it need to be dealt with right away or can it wait?
  • Does this issue affect others as well? (If so, it may be more important)

Item	Rank

Planning for Action

After your protégé has finished identifying his or her goals, it's time to talk about an action plan for meeting those priorities. A good action plan helps us recognize all the steps we need to take to meet our goals. It also helps us be ready for difficulties we might face when trying to meet goals.

You will want to discuss:

• What actions are needed to reach the goal
• Who will take the actions (someone else besides the youth may be involved)
• When the actions will happen
• Resources and support needed to take the actions
• Difficulties your protégé might face in taking the actions
• People your protégé should talk to about his or her plans

Help your protégé make an action plan for each of the top priority issues he or she identifies.

A PowerPoint presentation summarizing the major points in the section.