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Why train adult mentors?
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When do you train adult mentors?
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Who should train your adult mentors?
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Where should the training be held?
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How do you train adult mentors?
Why train adult mentors?
You've screened applications, conducted interviews, checked references, and started thinking about which mentors and young people might be well matched. So you're ready to introduce the pairs and get your mentoring program under way, right?
Not quite. You've left out a very important step: training your adult mentors.
Training adult mentors is important for several reasons. Even after completing your screening process, newly recruited mentors may have questions about their role, boundaries, responsibilities, and what young people can expect from them. They may also need to strengthen skills such as listening, communication, problem solving, conflict resolution, cultural humility, and supporting young people's goals.
Training also gives mentors a clear understanding of the program's purpose, values, policies, safeguarding expectations, available resources, and procedures for seeking support when difficult situations arise.
Good training prepares mentors to build safe, respectful, and supportive relationships with mentees. It may include orientation to the program; clarification of mentor and mentee roles; communication and listening skills; problem solving; conflict resolution; goal setting; cultural humility; confidentiality and its limits; appropriate boundaries; youth development; community resources; working collaboratively with parents and caregivers; and procedures for responding to safety or well-being concerns.
Training can also include activities that help new mentors practice relationship-building and become more comfortable with the mentoring role before they are matched.
When should you train adult mentors?
As early as possible. Core training should take place before a mentor is matched with a young person. Mentors need to understand essential program expectations, boundaries, safety procedures, and their responsibilities before beginning a mentoring relationship.
If mentors join the program throughout the year, you may not be able to offer an extensive individual training every time someone enrolls. In that case, you might provide regular orientation sessions and schedule more comprehensive training several times a year.
New mentors can receive written or digital materials as soon as they enter the program, including the history and purpose of the program, mentor responsibilities, safeguarding and confidentiality policies, communication expectations, emergency procedures, and information about community resources. These materials can prepare mentors for training, but they should not replace the core preparation required before a match begins.
Once a mentor has completed the required orientation and training, your program can determine whether they are ready to be matched. Additional learning and support should continue throughout the mentoring relationship.
Who should train your adult mentors?
Your organization will probably provide much of the training because program staff understand its mission, expectations, policies, and mentoring model. However, community partners and professionals can contribute valuable expertise.
For example, a mediator or facilitator might lead a session on conflict resolution. A youth development professional might discuss adolescent development and communication. A social worker or family engagement specialist could discuss respectful partnerships with parents and caregivers. Other trainers might contribute expertise related to cultural humility, disability inclusion, mental health, trauma-informed practice, LGBTQ+ inclusion, safeguarding, or another area relevant to the young people involved.
Young people and former or current mentees can also contribute to training when they choose to do so. Their perspectives can help mentors understand what young people value in mentoring relationships, what helps build trust, and what adult behaviors may create barriers.
Where should the training be held?
Training can take place in many different settings. A classroom may be convenient, especially during evenings or weekends, and may provide useful technology or presentation space. If training occurs at a school that many mentees attend, mentors may also become more familiar with one part of the community young people experience.
At the same time, a school may not be the most comfortable or accessible setting for everyone. Some participants may have had difficult experiences in school settings, and classrooms may not provide appropriate furniture, accessibility, privacy, lighting, or other features needed for adult training.
Other possibilities include community centers, libraries, conference rooms, colleges and universities, recreation centers, health organizations, workplaces, or public buildings. Virtual or hybrid training may also be useful when it improves access.
Whatever setting you choose, consider physical accessibility, transportation, parking, public transit, lighting, temperature, seating, restrooms, language and communication access, technology, and the privacy needed for discussing sensitive mentoring situations. If refreshments are provided, consider allergies, dietary needs, and cultural preferences.
How do you train adult mentors?
Training can be simple or extensive depending on the goals and structure of your program, but mentors generally need more preparation than a packet of written materials alone. The amount of training should reflect the responsibilities mentors will have, the ages of the young people involved, the setting in which mentoring occurs, and the issues the program may encounter.
One approach is to hold several shorter sessions or one longer training session, with different modules covering topics important to your program. Some organizations also combine self-paced materials with live discussion, practice, and role-playing.
The modules below are examples. Choose and adapt them to fit your mentoring model and the needs and priorities identified by young people, families, mentors, staff, and community partners.
Orientation session
Orientation is usually an introductory session for new mentors or people considering becoming mentors. Its purpose is to help participants understand the program and decide whether the role is a good fit.
Orientation may include:
- Your organization's history, purpose, values, and accomplishments
- Programs and activities currently in progress
- The time commitment expected of mentors
- Program logistics, including meeting locations, communication methods, transportation, and scheduling
- Program resources, including activity ideas, educational materials, and staff support
- Community and referral resources, such as crisis services, schools, health providers, social services, and other supports
- Guidelines and boundaries for the mentoring relationship, including what mentors are and are not expected to do
- Information about the young people participating in the program, including their strengths, interests, communities, goals, and some of the circumstances or barriers they may be navigating
- How mentors are selected, trained, matched, supported, and supervised
- What mentors may learn or gain from participating in the program
- Confidentiality and its limits, including any applicable mandated-reporting or safeguarding responsibilities
- Expectations related to communication, social media, transportation, gifts, physical contact, meeting locations, and other boundaries relevant to your program
Orientation should also give prospective mentors time to ask questions and reflect honestly on whether they can meet the program's expectations. It's better for someone to decide before being matched that the role isn't right for them than to make a commitment they cannot sustain.
Training sessions
More detailed training can build the skills mentors need once they understand the basic structure of the program.
Some topics you may want to include are:
Mentor responsibilities:
Clearly and specifically explain what mentors are responsible for and where the limits of their role lie.
Consider:
- What does your program hope to accomplish?
- What should mentors contribute to the mentoring relationship?
- What are mentors specifically not expected or permitted to do?
- What role does the young person have in shaping the relationship?
- What choices and responsibilities belong to the mentee?
- When should a mentor contact program staff rather than trying to handle a concern alone?
Goal setting in the mentoring relationship:
Discuss the importance of defining and setting goals, with the young person taking an active role in identifying what matters to them.
- Help young people identify goals that reflect their own interests, strengths, priorities, and aspirations
- Help mentors develop realistic expectations and avoid defining success for the mentee
- Explore possible steps, resources, relationships, and pathways that may support those goals
- Revisit and adjust goals as the young person's interests, circumstances, knowledge, and priorities change
Listening and communication skills:
Teach mentors communication skills that help build respectful, trusting relationships.
This session can include:
- Active listening and asking open-ended questions
- Role-playing realistic mentoring situations
- Practicing nonjudgmental and strength-based communication
- Recognizing that communication styles may vary by culture, disability, personality, and neurotype
- Knowing when to listen rather than immediately offer advice or solutions
Problem-solving skills:
Include information on:
- Problem-solving skills
- Tutoring and teaching skills when these are part of the mentoring role
- Modeling communication, accountability, decision-making, and other positive practices
- Helping mentees explore options without taking over decisions that belong to them
Conflict resolution skills:
Teach mentors how to work through tension and disagreement in a mentoring relationship. Conflict is not necessarily a sign that a match has failed. Differences in expectations, communication styles, values, schedules, or goals may arise and can often be addressed constructively.
Discuss:
- How clear expectations and communication can prevent some conflicts
- How to work through disagreement respectfully
- How to identify possible solutions together
- How mentors can recognize stress and prevent burnout
- How to support young people's engagement and motivation without trying to control or pressure them
- When and how to close, pause, or change a mentoring match respectfully when the relationship is not meeting participants' needs
Conflict-resolution training may also help mentors support young people as they develop their own communication and problem-solving skills with peers, family members, teachers, co-workers, and others. Mentors should support young people's problem solving rather than stepping into conflicts that should be handled by the young person, family, school, program staff, or another appropriate party.
Community resources and networking:
Provide mentors with current information about community organizations, educational opportunities, recreation, health and mental health services, career resources, housing or transportation supports, crisis services, and other resources that may help young people pursue their goals or access additional support.
Mentors should understand that referring or connecting a mentee with appropriate resources can be more helpful than trying to provide services outside the mentor's role or expertise.
The mentoring relationship and the mentee's family:
Parents, caregivers, and other family members can be important partners in many youth mentoring programs. Training should help mentors understand how to build respectful relationships with families while remaining clear about the mentor's role and the young person's voice in the relationship.
Questions to address include:
- What kind of relationship should mentors have with parents, caregivers, and other family members?
- What responsibilities does the mentor have to communicate with parents or caregivers under program policy?
- What level of involvement with other family members is appropriate?
- How should mentors maintain clear boundaries with family members?
- What should a mentor do when a mentee shares concerns about family relationships or conflict?
- How should mentors respond when parents or caregivers have expectations for the relationship that differ from the mentee's goals?
- How can mentors and program staff work constructively with parents or caregivers when there is disagreement, mistrust, or limited communication?
- When should concerns involving a family be referred to program staff rather than handled by the mentor alone?
Avoid treating parents and caregivers as obstacles to the mentoring relationship. Families may have important knowledge about the young person, concerns about safety or boundaries, cultural expectations, or previous experiences with programs that shape how they respond. Listen to those concerns while also maintaining the program's commitment to the young person's well-being and agency.
Cultural humility and inclusion:
Mentors and mentees may differ in race, ethnicity, culture, religion, socioeconomic background, disability, gender identity, sexual orientation, language, family structure, or other aspects of identity and experience. Training should help mentors recognize their own assumptions, avoid stereotypes, ask respectful questions, and remain open to learning from the young person and their community.
Mentors do not need to share every aspect of a mentee's identity to build a strong relationship. They do need to respect that identity and understand when additional cultural knowledge, interpretation, accessibility support, or another resource may be helpful.
Safety, confidentiality, and boundaries:
Mentors should understand what information they may keep private, what must be shared with program staff, and any legal or organizational reporting requirements that apply. Explain these limits clearly so mentors do not promise confidentiality they cannot provide.
Training should also cover program expectations related to:
- One-on-one meeting locations
- Transportation
- Phone, text, email, and social media communication
- Physical contact
- Gifts and money
- Contact outside scheduled mentoring activities
- Overnight activities or travel, if applicable
- Responding when a young person discloses abuse, violence, self-harm, exploitation, or another serious safety concern
Mentors should know exactly whom to contact when they are uncertain about a situation. They should not be expected to manage serious safety, mental health, legal, or family concerns on their own.
Evaluation and feedback:
Mentoring programs need ongoing feedback from both mentors and mentees. Rather than mentors simply evaluating young people, the program should ask both participants whether the relationship is useful, respectful, safe, and consistent with their goals and expectations.
Mentors might reflect on questions such as:
- Am I listening to the mentee's goals rather than imposing my own?
- Am I following through on commitments?
- Does the young person seem comfortable raising concerns or disagreeing with me?
- Is there something I need help or additional training with?
Young people should also have confidential opportunities to give feedback to program staff about the mentoring relationship, including whether they want changes in activities, communication, frequency of meetings, or the match itself.
Follow-up training
Initial training is only the beginning. Ongoing training, supervision, and support can help mentors respond to new situations, strengthen their skills, and avoid burnout. Mentors should continue learning throughout the relationship.
- Provide written or digital materials mentors can use as references throughout the mentoring relationship
- Make sure mentors know whom to contact when they have questions, concerns, or unfamiliar situations. Staff can help mentors reflect on their own assumptions and reactions as well as think through practical next steps.
- Provide ongoing supervision and regular check-ins with both mentors and mentees so that concerns can be identified and addressed early
- Offer ongoing or special-topic training on issues that become relevant, such as communication, cultural humility, mental health, disability inclusion, digital safety, substance use, healthy relationships, education, or career exploration
- Organize mentor support groups or learning sessions where mentors can exchange ideas, share resources, discuss challenges without violating mentees' privacy, and support one another
- Maintain regular contact with mentors and mentees. Ongoing communication helps program staff understand how each match is developing and reminds participants that they have support if something needs to change.
In Summary
Screening can help you identify people who may be well suited to mentoring, but even strong candidates need preparation, clear expectations, and ongoing support. Training helps mentors understand their role, develop communication and relationship-building skills, maintain appropriate boundaries, support young people's goals, work respectfully with families, recognize when additional help is needed, and respond appropriately to safety concerns.
Mentor training should not be treated as a one-time event. Ongoing supervision, feedback from both mentors and mentees, continued learning, and access to program staff can help mentoring relationships remain safe, respectful, responsive, and useful over time.
The goal is not to prepare adults to direct or "fix" young people. It is to prepare them to listen, build trust, share knowledge and opportunities, respect young people's agency, and contribute to relationships in which both mentors and mentees can learn and grow.