| Community Tool Box

 

What is culture?

As community builders, understanding culture is our business. No matter where you live, you are working with and establishing relationships with people--people who all have cultures.

What is culture? Here is one viewpoint.

"Culture" refers to a group or community which shares common experiences that shape the way its members understand the world. It includes groups that we are born into, such as race, national origin, gender, class, or religion. It can also include a group we join or become part of. For example, it is possible to acquire a new culture by moving to a new country or region, by a change in our economic status, or by becoming disabled. When we think of culture this broadly we realize we all belong to many cultures at once.

Do you agree? How might this apply to you?

Why is culture important?

Culture is a strong part of people's lives. It influences their views, their values, their humor, their hopes, their loyalties, and their worries and fears. So when you are working with people and building relationships with them, it helps to have some perspective and understanding of their cultures.

But as we explore culture, it's also important to remember how much we have in common. People see the world very differently, but they know what it is like to wake up in the morning and look forward to the adventures that of the day. We are all human beings. We all love deeply, want to learn, have hopes and dreams, and have experienced pain and fear.

At the same time, we can't pretend our cultures and differences don't matter. We can't gloss over differences and pretend they don't exist, wishing we could all be alike, and we can't pretend that discrimination doesn't exist.

This chapter will give you practical information about how to understand culture, establish relationships with people from cultures different from your own, act as an ally against racism and other forms of discrimination, create organizations in which diverse groups can work together, overcome internalized oppression, and build strong and diverse communities.

This section is an introduction to understanding culture, and will focus on:

• What culture is
• The importance of understanding culture in community building
• Envisioning your cultural community
• How to get started in building communities that encourage diversity.

But first, it is important to remember that everyone has an important viewpoint and role to play when is comes to culture. You don't have to be an expert to build relationships with people different from yourself; you don't have to have a degree to learn to become sensitive to cultural issues; and you don't have to be a social worker to know how culture has affected your life.

Why is understanding culture important if we are community builders?

The world is becoming increasingly diverse and includes people of many religions, languages, economic groups, and other cultural groups.

It is becoming clear that in order to build communities that are successful at improving conditions and resolving problems, we need to understand and appreciate many cultures, establish relationships with people from cultures other than our own, and build strong alliances with different cultural groups. Additionally, we need to bring non-mainstream groups into the center of civic activity. Why?

• In order to build communities that are powerful enough to attain significant change, we need large numbers of people working together. If cultural groups join forces, they will be more effective in reaching common goals, than if each group operates in isolation.
• Each cultural groups has unique strengths and perspectives that the larger community can benefit from. We need a wide range of ideas, customs, and wisdom to solve problems and enrich community life. Bringing non-mainstream groups into the center of civic activity can provide fresh perspectives and shed new light on tough problems.
• Understanding cultures will help us overcome and prevent racial and ethnic divisions. Racial and ethnic divisions result in misunderstandings, loss of opportunities, and sometimes violence. Racial and ethnic conflicts drain communities of financial and human resources; they distract cultural groups from resolving the key issues they have in common.
• People from different cultures have to be included in decision-making processes in order for programs or policies to be effective. The people affected by a decision have to be involved in formulating solutions--it's a basic democratic principle. Without the input and support of all the groups involved, decision-making, implementation, and follow through are much less likely to occur.
• An appreciation of cultural diversity goes hand-in-hand with a just and equitable society. For example, research has shown that when students' cultures are understood and appreciated by teachers, the students do better in school. Students feel more accepted, they feel part of the school community, they work harder to achieve, and they are more successful in school.
• If we do not learn about the influences that cultural groups have had on our mainstream history and culture, we are all missing out on an accurate view of our society and our communities.

As you think about diversity, it may be helpful to envision the kind of cultural community you want to build. In order to set some goals related to building relationships between cultures, resolving differences, or building a diverse coalition, it helps to have a vision of the kind of cultural community you hope for.

What kind of cultural community do you envision?

Can you imagine the kind of cultural community you want to live or work in?

People have very different views of what a multicultural society or community should be like or could be like. In the past few decades there has been a lot of discussion about what it means to live and work together in a society that is diverse as ours. People struggle with different visions of a fair, equitable, moral, and harmonious society.

• How will the world be unified as a cohesive whole, if people separate into many different cultural groups?
• In order to be a part of that dream, must I assimilate?
• Why does racism persist in places that are committed to equality and liberty?
• How can I protect my children from the harmful influences in the larger culture? How can I instill my children with the moral values of my own religion or culture, but still expose them to a variety of views?
• Are there structural problems in our government or economic system that serve to divide cultural groups? How can they be changed?
• Should I put my community building and civic energies into my own cultural community, rather than the mainstream culture? Where can I have the biggest influence?
• Can oppression be stopped by legislation, or does each person have to overcome their individual prejudice, or both?
• Why do immigrants have to hold onto their own cultures and languages?
• If my group is excluded, what can I do?
• How do I protect my children from being targeted by racism or sexism other forms of discrimination if I live in a diverse society? Shall I send them to culturally or racially specific school, or a female-only school, or another appropriate school?
• If each person overcame their own prejudices, would all the divisions disappear?
• How do I overcome my prejudices?
• Is prejudice a thing of the past?
• Why can't we all just get along?

What do you think about these questions? Which issues do you struggle with? What other issues are important to you or your cultural group?

As you envision the kind of diverse community, you and your neighbors may want to consider these kinds of questions. These are some of the real and tough questions that people grapple with on a daily basis. These questions point to some of the tensions that arise as we try to build harmonious, active, and diverse communities in a country as a complex as ours. There are no easy answers; we are all learning as we go.

So, what kind of community do you envision for yourself? How will diversity be approached in your community? If you could have your ideal community right now what would it look like? If you can't have your ideal community right now, what will be the next steps you will take in building the kind of cultural community you want?

Here are some questions that may help you think about your community:

These are some of the questions that can get you thinking about your how to build the kind of community you hope for. What other issues do you think are important to consider? What are your next steps?

So, you may ask, "How do we get started?" Here are some ideas that will help you set the stage for creating your vision of a diverse organization or community.

Helpful tips to start building a diverse community

In the book, Healing into Action, authors Cherie Brown and George Mazza list principles that, when put into practice, help create a favorable environment for building diverse communities. The following guidelines are taken from their principles:

Welcome everyone.

In order for people to commit to working on diversity, every person needs to feel that they will be included and important. Each person needs to feel welcomed in the effort to create a diverse community. And each person needs to know that their culture is important to others.

Guilt doesn't work in fostering diversity.

Blaming people as a way of motivating them is not effective. Shaming people for being in a privileged position only causes people to feel bad; it doesn't empower them to take action to change. People are more likely to change when they are appreciated and liked, not condemned or guilt-tripped.

Treating everyone the same may be unintentionally oppressive.

Although every person is unique, some of us have been mistreated or oppressed because we are a member of a particular group. If we ignore these present-day or historical differences, we may fail to understand the needs of those individuals. Often people are afraid that recognizing differences will divide people from each other. However, learning about cultural differences can actually bring people closer together, because it can reveal important parts of each other's lives. It can show us how much we have in common as human beings.

People can take on tough issues more readily when the issues are presented with a spirit of hope.

We are bombarded daily with newspapers and TV reports of doom and gloom. People have a difficult time functioning at all when they feel there is no hope for change. When you present diversity issues you can say things like, "This is an excellent opportunity to build on the strengths that this organization has," or "There is no reason why we can't solve this problem together."

Building a team around us is the most effective way of creating institutional and community change around diversity issues.

You will be more effective if you have a group of people around you that works together closely. People often try to go it alone, but we can lose sight of our goals and then become discouraged when operating solo. It is important to take the time to develop strong relationships with a core of people, and then work together as a group.

Recognize and work with the diversity already present in what appear to be homogenous groups.

In working to combat racism and other forms of oppression many people become discouraged when they are unable to create a diverse group. Starting by recognizing differences in religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomics, parenting, and class backgrounds will help create a climate that welcomes differences; it will also lay the groundwork for becoming more inclusive.

In Summary

We've talked about what diversity is, why it is important, how to begin envisioning your ideal diverse community, and how to set up an environment that fosters diversity. This is only the beginning.

In working towards your diverse organization or community there is much more to do. In the next sections we will talk about how to become aware of your own culture, build relationships with from different cultures, become allies to people discriminated against, overcome internalized oppression, build multicultural organizations and coalitions, and other topics as well.

Each of us can build the kinds of communities we dream of. In our families, organizations, institutions, and neighborhoods, we can insist that we won't remain isolated from those who are different from ourselves. We can transform our neighborhoods, institutions, and governments into equitable, non-oppressive, and diverse communities.

___ Culture is a group or community which shares common experiences that shape the way its members understand the world.

___ Culture is important because it influences their views, their values, their humor, their hopes, their loyalties, and their worries and fears.

___ The world is becoming increasingly diverse and includes people of many religions, languages, economic groups, and other cultural groups.

___ Including many cultures in a community helps communities achieve common goals, represent all members of the community, and overcome racial and ethnic divisions.

___ Welcome everyone to the community.

___ Eliminate guilt because it prevents productivity.

___ Recognize cultural differences.

___ Work together as a team. 

EXAMPLE 1: Two Communities Come Together For One Annual Celebration (New York City)

They tend to be insular and lead separate lives as a rule, but for a free, day-long event held in Manhattan’s Lower East Side and Chinatown, two immigrant communities unite to celebrate their diversity and cultural heritage. Jews from Eastern Europe and the Chinese shared the challenge of maintaining their cultures in the face of rapid change and have sought similar things in America: freedom from persecution and prejudice, and opportunities to advance economically and socially.

The annual Egg Rolls & Egg Creams Festival helps to introduce these two diverse communities to each other and to audience members from other cultural groups. By increasing awareness through art, they believe they will create an opportunity for understanding and dialogue. The festival features 30 folk artists and performance groups and pays tribute to the cultural practices of traditional language, arts, music, and dance.

This community-building event is sponsored by the Museum at Eldridge Street, and it fulfills two important aspects of their mission: (1) to preserve Eastern European culture and (2) to promote Lower East Side neighborhood cultural diversity and inter-group understanding. The entire festival incorporates hands-on activities through a variety of games, performances, and crafts, allowing visitors to participate directly and integrate what they are learning.

From the festival’s humble beginnings with 250 neighborhood visitors, attendance has grown to attract more than 9,000 people in 2014. Part of this dramatic increase includes many repeat visitors, attesting to the festival’s importance.

Photos courtesy of the Museum at Eldridge Street.

For more information, please contact www.eldridgestreet.org.

 

Relationships are powerful. Our one-to-one connections with each other are the foundation for change. And building relationships with people from different cultures, often many different cultures, is key in building diverse communities that are powerful enough to achieve significant goals.

Whether you want to make sure your children get a good education, bring quality health care into your communities, or promote economic development, there is a good chance you will need to work with people from several different racial, language, ethnic, or economic groups. And in order to work with people from different cultural groups effectively, you will need to build sturdy and caring relationships based on trust, understanding, and shared goals.

Why? Because trusting relationships are the glue that hold people together as they work on a common problem. As people work on challenging problems, they will have to hang in there together when things get hard. They will have to support each other to stay with an effort, even when it feels discouraging. People will have to resist the efforts of those who use divide-and-conquer techniques--pitting one cultural group against another.

Regardless of your racial, ethnic, religious, or socioeconomic group, you will probably need to establish relationships with people whose group you may know very little about.

Each one of us is like a hub of a wheel. Each one of us can build relationships and friendships around ourselves that provide us with the necessary strength to achieve community goals. If each person builds a network of diverse and strong relationships, we can come together and solve problems that we have in common.

In this section, we are going to talk about:

• Becoming aware of your own culture as a first step in learning about other people's culture.
• Building relationships with people from many different cultures.

But first let's talk about what culture is. Culture is a complex concept, with many different definitions. But, simply put, "culture" refers to a group or community with which we share common experiences that shape the way we understand the world. It includes groups that we are born into, such as race, national origin, class, or religion. It can also include groups we join or become part of. For example, we can acquire a new culture by moving to a new region, by a change in our economic status, or by becoming disabled. When we think of culture this broadly we realize we all belong to many cultures at once. Do you agree? How might this apply to you?

How do you learn about people's cultures?

Start by becoming aware of your own culture.

It may seem odd that in order to learn about people in other cultures, we start by becoming more aware of our own culture. But we believe this is true. Why?

If you haven't had a chance to understand how your culture has affected you first hand, it's more difficult to understand how it could affect anyone else or why it might be important to them. If you are comfortable talking about your own culture, then you will become better at listening to others talk about theirs. Or, if you understand how discrimination has affected you, then you may be more aware of how it has affected others.

Here are some tips on how to becoming more aware of your own culture:

What is your culture?

Do you have a culture? Do you have more than one? What is your cultural background?

Even if you don't know who your ancestors are, you have a culture. Even if you are a mix of many cultures, you have one. Culture evolves and changes all the time. It came from your ancestors from many generations ago, and it comes from your family and community today.

In addition to the cultural groups we belong to, we also each have groups we identify with, such as being a parent, an athlete, an immigrant, a small business owner, or a wage worker. These kinds of groups, although not exactly the same as a culture, have similarities to cultural groups. For example, being a parent or and an immigrant may be an identity that influences how you view the world and how the world views you. Becoming aware of your different identities can help you understand what it might be like to belong to a cultural group.

Exercise: Try listing all the cultures and identities you have: (This is just a list of suggestions to get you started. Add as many as you think describe you.)
What is your: Religion Nationality Race Sexual identity Ethnicity Occupation Marital status Age Geographic region	Are you: A female A male Nonbinary or genderqueer Disabled From an urban area From a rural area A parent A student	Have you ever been: In the military Poor In prison Wealthy In the middle class In the working class

Did this help you think about your identities and cultures? How have these different cultures and identities affected your life?

How do you build relationships with people from other cultures?

There are many ways that people can learn about other people's cultures and build relationships at the same time. Here are some steps you can take. They are first listed, and then elaborated upon one at a time.

• Make a conscious decision to establish friendships with people from other cultures.
• Put yourself in situations where you will meet people of other cultures.
• Examine your biases about people from other cultures.
• Ask people questions about their cultures, customs, and views.
• Read about other people's culture's and histories
• Listen to people tell their stories
• Notice differences in communication styles and values; don't assume that the majority's way is the right way
• Risk making mistakes
• Learn to be an ally.

Make a conscious decision to establish friendships with people from other cultures

Making a decision is the first step. In order to build relationships with people different from yourself, you have to make a concerted effort to do so. There are societal forces that serve to separate us from each other. People from different economic groups, religions, ethnic groups, and races are often isolated from each other in schools, jobs, and neighborhoods. So, if we want things to be different, we need to take active steps to make them different.

You can join a sports team or club, become active in an organization, choose a job, or move to a neighborhood that puts you in contact with people of cultures different than your own. Also, you may want to take a few minutes to notice the diversity that is presently nearby. If you think about the people you see and interact with every day, you may become more aware of the cultural differences that are around you.

Once you have made the decision to make friends with people different from yourself, you can go ahead and make friends with them in much the same way as with anyone else. You may need to take more time, and you may need to be more persistent. You may need to reach out and take the initiative more than you are used to. People who have been mistreated by society may take more time to trust you than people who haven't. Don't let people discourage you. There are good reasons why people have built up defenses, but it is not impossible to overcome them and make a connection. The effort is totally worth it.

Put yourself in situations where you will meet people of other cultures; especially if you haven't had the experience of being a minority, take the risk.

One of the first and most important steps is to show up in places where you will meet people of cultures other than your own. Go to meetings and celebrations of groups whose members you want to get to know. Or hang out in restaurants and other gathering places that different cultural groups go. You may feel embarrassed or shy at first, but your efforts will pay off. People of a cultural group will notice if you take the risk of coming to one of their events. If it is difficult for you to be the only person like yourself attending, you can bring a buddy with you and support each other in making friends. At these events, it is important to participate, but make sure you do not become the center of the event in order to lift up the voices and actions of the people leading the event.

Examine your biases about people from other cultures.

We all carry misinformation and stereotypes about people in different cultures. Especially, when we are young, we acquire this information in bits and pieces from TV, from listening to people talk, and from the culture at large. We are not bad people because we acquired this; no one requested to be misinformed. But in order to build relationships with people of different cultures, we have to become aware of the misinformation we acquired.

An excellent way to become aware of your own stereotypes is to pick groups that you generalize about and write down your opinions. Once you have, examine the thoughts that came to your mind and where you acquired them.

Another way to become aware of stereotypes is to talk about them with people who have similar cultures to your own. In such settings you can talk about the misinformation you acquired without being offensive to people from a particular group. You can get together with a friend or two and talk about how you acquired stereotypes or fears of other different people. You can answer these kinds of questions:

• How did your parents feel about different ethnic, racial, or religious groups?
• What did your parents communicate to you with their actions and words?
• Were your parents friends with people from many different groups?
• What did you learn in school about a particular group?
• Was there a lack of information about some people?
• Are there some people you shy away from? Why?

Ask people questions about their cultures, customs, and views

People, for the most part, want to be asked questions about their lives and their cultures. Many of us were told that asking questions was nosy; but if we are thoughtful, asking questions can help you learn about people of different cultures and help build relationships. People are usually pleasantly surprised when others show interest in their cultures. If you are sincere and you can listen, people will tell you a lot.

Read about other people's cultures and histories

It helps to read about and learn about people's cultures and histories. If you know something about the reality of someone's life and history, it shows that you care enough to take the time to find out about it. It also gives you background information that will make it easier to ask questions that make sense.

However, you don't have to be an expert on someone's culture to get to know them or to ask questions. People who are, themselves, from a culture are usually the best experts, anyway.

Don't forget to care and show caring

It is easy to forget that the basis of any relationship is caring. Everyone wants to care and be cared about. Caring about people is what makes a relationship real. Don't let your awkwardness around cultural differences get in the way of caring about people.

Listen to people tell their stories

If you get an opportunity to hear someone tell you her life story first hand, you can learn a lot--and build a strong relationship at the same time. Every person has an important story to tell. Each person's story tells something about their culture.

Listening to people's stories, we can get a fuller picture of what people's lives are like--their feelings, their nuances, and the richness of their lives. Listening to people also helps us get through our numbness-- there is a real person before us, not someone who is reduced to stereotypes in the media.

Additionally, listening to members of groups that have been discriminated against can give us a better understanding of what that experience is like. Listening gives us a picture of discrimination that is more real than what we can get from reading an article or listening to the radio.

Exercise:

You can informally ask people in your neighborhood or organization to tell you a part of their life stories as a member of a particular group. You can also incorporate this activity into a workshop or retreat for your group or organization. Have people each take five or ten minutes to talk about one piece of their life stories. If the group is large, you will probably have to divide into small groups, so everyone gets a chance to speak.

Notice differences in communication styles and values; don't assume that the majority's way is the right way.

We all have a tendency to assume that the way that most people do things is the acceptable, normal, or right way. As community workers, we need to learn about cultural differences in values and communication styles, and not assume that the majority way is the right way to think or behave.

Example:

You are in a group discussion. Some group members don't speak up, while others dominate, filling all the silences. The more vocal members of the group become exasperated that others don't talk. It also seems that the more vocal people are those that are members of the more mainstream culture, while those who are less vocal are from minority cultures.

How do we understand this? How can this be resolved?

In some cultures, people feel uncomfortable with silence, so they speak to fill the silences. In other cultures, it is customary to wait for a period of silence before speaking. If there aren't any silences, people from those cultures may not ever speak. Also, members of some groups (women, people of low income, some racial and ethnic minorities, and others) don't speak up because they have received messages from society at large that their contribution is not as important as others; they have gotten into the habit of deferring their thinking to the thinking of others.

When some people don't share their thinking, we all lose out. We all need the opinions and voices of those people who have traditionally been discouraged from contributing.

In situations like the one described above, becoming impatient with people for not speaking is usually counter-productive. However, you can structure a meeting to encourage the quieter people to speak. For example, you can:

• Have people break into pairs before discussing a topic in the larger group.
• At certain times have each person in the circle make a comment. (People can pass if they want to.)
• Follow a guideline that everyone speaks once, before anyone speaks twice.
• Invite the quieter people to lead part of the meeting.
• Talk about the problem openly in a meeting, and invite the more vocal people to try to speak less often.
• Between meetings, ask the quieter people what would help them speak, or ask them for their ideas on how a meeting should be run.

A high school basketball team has to practice and play on many afternoons and evenings. One team member is a recent immigrant whose family requires her to attend the birthday parties of all the relatives in her extended family. The coach is angry with the parents for this requirement, because it takes his player away from the team.

How do we understand this? How can this be resolved?

Families have different values, especially when it comes to family closeness, loyalty, and responsibility. In many immigrant and ethnic families, young people are required to put their family's needs first, before the requirements of extra-curricular activities. Young people from immigrant families who grow up in the U.S. often feel torn between the majority culture and the culture of their families; they feel pressure from each cultures to live according to its values, and they feel they have to choose between the two.

As community workers, we need to support and respect minority and immigrant families and their values. It may already be a huge concession on the part of a family to allow a teenager to participate in extracurricular activities at all. We need to make allowances for the cultural differences and try to help young people feel that they can have both worlds--instead of having to reject one set of values for another.

As community builders, it helps to develop relationships with parents. If a young person sees her parents have relationships with people from the mainstream culture, it can help her feel that their family is accepted. It supports the teen in being more connected to her family and her community--and also, both relationships are critical protective factors for drug and alcohol abuse and other dangerous behaviors. In addition, in building relationships with parents, we develop lines of communication, so when conflicts arise, they can be more easily resolved.

Risk making mistakes

As you are building relationships with people who have different cultural backgrounds than your own, you will probably make mistakes at some point. That happens. Don't let the fear of making mistakes keep you from going ahead and building relationships.

If you say or do something that is insensitive, you can learn something from it. Ask the affected person what bothered or offended them, apologize, and then go on in building the relationship. Don't let guilt bog you down.

Learn to be an ally

One of the best ways to help you build relationships with people of different cultures is to demonstrate that you are willing to take a stand against discrimination when it occurs. People will be much more motivated to get to know you if they see that you are willing to take risks on their behalf.

We also have to educate ourselves and keep informed so that we understand the issues that each group faces and we become involved in their struggles--instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching from a distance. Educate yourself about other cultures by doing your own research, don't ask others to do it for you. There are many resources in this chapter to help you learn. 

In Summary

Friendship is powerful. It is our connection to each other that gives meaning to our lives. Our caring for each other is often what motivates us to make change. And establishing connections with people from diverse backgrounds can be key in making significant changes in our communities.

As individuals, and in groups, we can change our communities. We can set up neighborhoods and institutions in which people commit themselves to working to form strong relationships and alliances with people of diverse cultures and backgrounds. We can establish networks and coalitions in which people are knowledgeable about each other's struggles, and are willing to lend a hand. Together, we can do it.

___ Culture is a group or community which shares common experiences that shape the way its members understand the world.

___ Defining one's own culture helps to foster the ability to recognize cultural differences.

___ Build relationships and establish friendships with people of different cultures and identities.

___ Establish these relationships by reading, listening and learning.

___ Risk making mistakes.

___ Examine and learn from personally held stereotypes and prejudices.

Example 1: Hands Across the Hills Trailer

 

Bridging the divide through dialogue, cultural exchange, and community between folks from New England and Kentucky.

 

Example 2: Inclusive Dubuque

 

Inclusive Dubuque is a peer-learning network of partners committed to supporting an equitable and inclusive culture to meet the economic and cultural needs of their diverse community. The network works collaboratively to eliminate bias in their community.

Tool #1: Diversity and Community Strengths

Spend some time writing down your thoughts about how the different aspects of your culture or identity (gender, race, nationality, etc., listed below) have affected you as a community builder. For example, write down how being a female or male has given you strengths as a community builder, or how it has made the job more difficult.

This exercise works much better if you do it with another person, or in a group. People should pair up and then spend some time writing down their answers. Once you are finished writing, have one person in a pair talk about their answers while the other person listens. Then have them switch roles. Afterwards, you can discuss the results in the bigger group.

Cultural factor:	Community-building strengths	Effect on difficulty of community-building
Gender
Religion
Race/Ethnic Group
National Origin
Geographic Region
Sexual Orientation
Religion
Parent's Occupation
Your Occupation
Disabilities
Parenting Experience
Age
Appearance
Education
Community
Marital Status
Athlete or Non-Athlete
Military Experience
Defining Life Experiences
Other Factors

Discussion Questions:

• What was doing this exercise like for you? What did you learn? Was doing this exercise fun? Was it awkward or uncomfortable?
• When talking in pairs, did you find you had more in common than you might have imagined? How was your experience different?
• Did you find that there were some areas that you've never had a chance to talk about?
• (If in a group) Would someone like to share what they learned in the whole group?

Most of us didn't go to schools that prepared us to live in a diverse world. People haven't been encouraged to talk about our cultures, or even recognize that they existed. So it is not surprising that talking about culture may be awkward, at first.

Tool #2: Stereotyping Exercise

Think of three common stereotypes you believe or prejudices you have. If you can't think of any right away, try a technique called "free association":

• Across the top of a sheet of paper, write the names of three different groups. (For instance, "Texans," Football players," and Skinheads.")
• Add "all" or "always" to each name. (Examples: "Texans all/always," "Football players all/always").
• Underneath each name, write the first three things that come to mind. Don't stop to think. Just write.

Your examples might look something like this:

• "Texans all own oil wells and wear boots and cowboy hats."
• "Football players all get lousy grades, take steroids, and date the best-looking girls"
• "Skinheads all hate Blacks, Jews, and gays and beat people up all the time."

Where do you think you learned your stereotypes? Do you have classmates, relatives, or friends who feel the same way? How about TV, the movies, the newspaper? (By the way, how many Texans, football players, and skinheads do you know personally?)

Exercise taken form the Community Leadership Project Curriculum. From the book, Respecting Our Differences by Lynn Duvall

Tool #3: What color are your jellybeans?

This resource contains a “jellybean exercise” to help participants explore their patterns of interactions.

What Color Are Your Jellybeans? (pdf)

 

 

A recent study found that Black students who were asked to identify themselves by race when taking a standardized test consistently scored lower than other Black students who were not asked to specify their race.

In another study, women taking a test of math ability were randomly divided into three groups. One group was asked to answer a list of questions that clearly identified them as women; one was given a list that identified them as residents of the Northeastern U.S.; and the third answered questions that identified them as students at an elite private college. The women that identified themselves as elite students consistently performed better on the test than the others – often better than male students, who, over the years, have almost invariably scored higher than women. (The results on the test used in this study have been so one-sided that they are often cited as proof that men are genetically superior to women at math.)

Researchers at New York University worked with minority and female middle school students who were about to apply to magnet high schools that required entrance exams. They were able to help students significantly raise their test scores and admission rates (compared to the averages for their race/ethnicity and gender) by helping them understand that that who they were was determined by what they could and did do, not by their racial or gender characteristics.

In none of these cases was there instruction in the subject matter of the tests in question, or in test-taking technique. The crucial difference in all cases was how the test-takers identified themselves. Why should revealing or thinking about your race or gender make so much difference on a test of knowledge or reasoning ability? The answer often lies in the assumptions of society and a long history of discrimination. In this section, we’ll examine the effects that discrimination and oppression have on their targets, and think about how to counter them.

What is discrimination?

The word “discrimination” means simply distinguishing between one thing and another. When we talk about discrimination as a social issue, we refer to distinguishing between population groups defined by specific characteristics – race, gender, religion, national origin, political opinions, sexual orientation, class – and treating groups differently as a result. Although discrimination can be either positive or negative – you can either discriminate in favor of or against a particular group – our focus here is negative discrimination.

Unfortunately, discrimination is all too familiar in all societies, from the age-old discrimination against Untouchables in India to racism in the U.S. White people are favored for jobs – often unconsciously – over Black and Asian people. Middle Eastern workers are harassed in Europe, Black Americans are stopped for DWB – driving while Black – in large American cities. The poor are often blamed for their poverty, and denied basic services because they aren’t “deserving.”

All of this probably dates back to pre-human times, when our ancestors banded together in groups for safety and mutual aid, and any other group was a potential rival for food and other resources. In most modern societies, there are laws against various kinds of discrimination, but it persists, and much of it is so ingrained that we don’t even think of it as discrimination. Gender roles and the treatment of women in general is still unequal: women in the U.S. still earn, on average, less than men for the same work, and women in many other countries are blatantly denied education and other opportunities. According to the United Nations, there is no country where men and women are treated equally.

For our purposes, then, discrimination is the denial of opportunities, rights, and or freedoms to one or more groups that other groups in the society enjoy. It is the failure to treat all people as of equal worth, and to acknowledge their full humanity.

What is oppression?

Oppression is discrimination carried to its extreme. Oppressed people are not only discriminated against, but are also subject to physical and psychological brutality – and occasionally genocide – sometimes for disobeying or displeasing those in power, sometimes to discourage them and others from trying to change their condition, and sometimes out of pure hatred. Modern examples include the treatment of Jews in Germany in the 1930’s, culminating in the Holocaust; the apartheid rule in South Africa between 1948 and 1990; slavery and its aftermath in the American South; the disappearances and other atrocities committed by the military governments against suspected leftists in Argentina and Chile; the genocidal violence in the former Yugoslavia; the slaughter of Tutsis by Hutus in Rwanda; and the wholesale starvation and murder of about 20% of the population of Cambodia by the Khmer Rouge, on the grounds that they were tainted by capitalism.

The distinction between discrimination and oppression is important. In most cases, groups that are discriminated against have some recourse, either under the law or through political action. In many countries, groups that were discriminated against have overcome their situations through education, organization, economic advancement, or some other avenue. For oppressed people, often the only remedy has been force of some sort – either revolutionary action or outside military or economic intervention.

Community developers that work with oppressed people often try to help them understand their situations, so they can decide on what action to take to change them.

Paulo Freire, a Brazilian organizer and educator, in his book Pedagogy of the Oppressed, says that the oppressed can change their circumstances through praxis – reflection and action – and that in order to do that, they have to learn to analyze their lives and to throw aside internalized oppression. Although Freire worked with and wrote about people who were exploited and oppressed, those who are discriminated against may have to deal with internalized discrimination as well.

What is internalized oppression?

When people are targeted, discriminated against, or oppressed over a period of time, they often internalize (believe and make part of their self-image – their internal view of themselves) the myths and misinformation that society communicates to them about their group. Exploited peasants might internalize the ideas that they can’t do any other kind of work, that their lives were meant to be as they are, and that they’re worth less than people with wealth or education. Women might internalize the stereotype that they are not good at math and science, or people of color might internalize the myth that they are not good workers,

When people from targeted groups internalize myths and misinformation, it can cause them to feel (often unconsciously) that in some way they are inherently not as worthy, capable, intelligent, beautiful, good, etc. as people outside their group. They turn the experience of oppression or discrimination inward. They begin to feel that the stereotypes and misinformation that society communicates are true and they act as if they were true. This is called internalized oppression.

Internalized oppression affects many groups of people: women, people of color, poor and working class people, people with disabilities, young people, elders, Jews, Catholics, immigrants, gays, and many other groups.

Not all members of groups that are discriminated against or oppressed necessarily turn stereotypes inward. Many remain proud of their heritage, or are able to take prominent places in the larger society through their exercise of effort, intelligence, talent, interpersonal skill, and self-respect. Many members of oppressed groups try to escape their situations by emigration or other means, and many succeed. Some rise up and overthrow their oppressors, although this can cause nearly as many problems as it solves.

Don’t assume that just because someone is a member of a group that has experienced bias, he is suffering from the results of internal oppression. Individuals are different, and have different experiences and backgrounds. If you assume internal oppression in all cases without getting to know the individual at least a little, you may, in trying to be helpful and empathetic, find that instead you’re being condescending or insulting.

There are two ways that internalized oppression functions:

• Internalized oppression operates on an individual basis. A person believes that the stereotypes and misinformation that she hears are true about herself. She holds herself back from living life to her full potential or she acts in ways that reinforce the stereotypes and are ultimately self-defeating.
• Internalized oppression occurs among members of the same cultural group. People in the same group believe (often unconsciously) the misinformation and stereotypes that society communicates about other members of their group. People turn the oppression on one another, instead of addressing larger problems in society. The results are that people treat one another in ways that are less than fully respectful. Often people from the same cultural group hurt, undermine, criticize, mistrust, fight with, or isolate themselves from one another.

In Spike Lee’s 1988 film School Daze, light-skinned Black students at a prestigious Black college look down on their darker-skinned fellow students.

It is important to note that internalized oppression is not the fault of people whom it affects. No one should be blamed or blame themselves for having been affected by discrimination. Nevertheless, as community members, we have to face these barriers in order to achieve our goals.

While the stereotypes that people internalize are imposed by society, we all, whether we are members of the favored majority or the oppressed or unfairly treated minority, have a personal responsibility to confront those stereotypes. As members of the majority, we need to help and support those in the minority to see that their personal worth has nothing to do with society’s current or past prejudice. And as members of the minority, we have a responsibility to listen to those among us who challenge the majority view, and to analyze and challenge it ourselves. We may need support and guidance in doing so – that’s what Paulo Freire provided to those he worked with, and what he wrote about.

Examples of internalized oppression as it occurs in individuals:

• Women, low-income people, and people of color don't speak up as much in meetings because they don't think their contribution will be important or "correct". Often participants from these groups may have insight into how to solve a problem, but they hold back from sharing it.
• In response to low expectations and lack of encouragement, some teenagers from oppressed groups believe that they won't succeed; consequently they give up on learning and pursuing their dreams.
• People from oppressed groups often shy away from taking on leadership roles. They don't view themselves as having leadership capabilities, and their style doesn't match that of "traditional" leadership models.
• A person who is not able get a job with decent wages may try to dull his disappointment with alcohol.
• A person who speaks with an accent feels that she should not build relationships with people outside her own culture because she is afraid that others will not want to be friends with her.

Examples of internalized oppression among members of the same cultural group:

• Women on the board of a charitable organization compete for the attention of the male chair and refrain from taking leadership roles. They see their greatest capability in organizing dinners and creating decorations for events, even though they all have college degrees.
• The membership of a low-income grassroots organization cannot support anyone from their own community who tries to take a leadership role in the organization. They claim that people in the leadership role become too "business-like" and "authoritative." The role of the leader is discussed endlessly and the organization cannot get to the business of defining and achieving goals.
• Women who work on construction join men in putting down other women who have child care problems or can't do particular work because they are not as strong as some of the men.
• When Latino immigrants from different countries of origin try to organize to create a political power base, the mistrust and prejudices among them makes it difficult for them to work together.
• Fearing that her children will not succeed in the mainstream culture, an immigrant mother is overly harsh in disciplining them so they will "fit in."
• An Black teenager is not accepted among his group of peers because he works hard and does well in school; he is told he is not Black enough.

As you can see, internalized oppression can have serious consequences for communities. It holds people back from thinking well of themselves, from living full lives, and from standing up against injustice. It can be the source of physical or mental illness and self-destructive behavior. Internalized oppression can serve to divide people within the same group, so they are not as effective in supporting each other and standing together for change. It can also cause people to be suspicious of those outside their own group, making it difficult to build alliances.

Why do community builders need to understand internalized oppression?

Understanding internalized oppression is invaluable for community builders. People simply can't fight effectively for themselves when they believe the problem is their own fault or that something is inherently wrong with them. To empower communities to become more effective at fighting the battles for better health care, good education, a safe environment, and adequate jobs, community members have to learn how to overcome the discouragement, confusion, and divisions that are a result of internalized oppression.

Luckily, there are methods to overcome internalized oppression. People can heal from misinformation they have internalized and help others in their cultural groups heal as well. As people understand and overcome internalized oppression they will become more empowered to overcome the inequities and injustices present in our society at large.

How do you help people heal from and overcome internalized oppression?

There are several different ways that people can work together to overcome internalized oppression.

Become a close friend, ally, or mentor to individuals who are struggling with internalized oppression.

Friendship and caring are two of the strongest weapons we have in combating internalized oppression. All the oppressions have one message in common – that certain people are not valuable. Friendship provides a strong and effective contradiction to that message. What we communicate in our relationships and commitment to one another is more powerful than the message of oppression.

We care about our friends, family members, co-workers, or other community members. It is painful to watch them treating themselves badly or failing to live up to their capabilities. We can help our friends out when we see them acting self-destructively or being passive about conditions that negatively affect them.

For example, if you befriend a young person and make a commitment to spend time with her regularly in activities that she enjoys, you can make a big difference in how that person is able to handle the injustices that she faces growing up in a tough society. If any person knows that just one person is one her side, she can manage to believe in herself, even when everyone and everything else is telling her she’s not OK.

Take pride in and celebrate your culture.

Being a member of cultural group can be a source of strength. Our cultures often give us our values, our sense of ourselves in history, our humor, our identities, and our world views. We depend on our cultures to provide us with a community, a reference point, a home, and a place to get our bearings and remember what is important to us.

Even the discrimination that people have experienced and endured as members of cultural groups gives them strengths. People learn to survive, stand up for themselves, be resourceful, have a sense of humor, and bounce back. People develop a sense of what long-term commitment is all about.

Taking pride in our cultures and celebrating them is essential in combating internalized oppression, because it gives us a more accurate view of our cultures than the one communicated in the media or by the society at large.

What are some ways of taking pride in our cultures?

• Reading and learning more about their cultures helps people gain perspective on how hard their ancestors fought for themselves, often in the face of great odds. Organizing a study group or book club for this purpose can be especially helpful in building community around cultural pride.
• Holding cultural celebrations and practicing rituals gives people a sense of hope, joy, pride, and meaning. It helps to remind people of what their cultures stand for, how rich they are, and what they've accomplished. Cultural arts celebrations can buoy people’s spirits and remind them of their strength, goodness, and creativity.

Note: Inviting people from other cultures to these events can also be useful at times. When people from the outside understand your culture, it is an important first step in developing a group of active allies who are willing to go to stand up for your group.

Meet in groups with people from similar backgrounds, to heal from the emotional hurts of internalized oppression.

Re-valuation Counseling has developed a model in which people of similar backgrounds meet in groups to heal from internalized oppression. In these groups people encourage each other to remember that they are good, worthy, capable, intelligent, beautiful, etc. and that others in their culture are good as well. In these groups, people take turns talking about how their cultural oppression has personally affected them while others listen.

One of the most helpful results of meeting in groups of people with similar backgrounds is that people understand that they are not alone in their experiences of oppression or in the way they feel bad about themselves. Sharing, for example, the experience of growing up around racism, anti-Semitism, or classism, helps people understand they have feelings common to others in their group. This removes the illusion that the experience is somehow inherently their problem alone – and that they are the only source of their own difficulties, rather than problems in the society at large.

Here is the format for a healing from internalized oppression group:

• Meet in groups of 6-10 people at a regular meeting time.
• It is best to have an agreement of confidentiality.
• Each group should have one main leader, but everyone should see themselves as responsible for making the group go well.
• To start, each person has a turn to talk about what they appreciate about their culture/group and something that is has gone well in their lives since the group last met.
• Each person has a turn each meeting to think/talk/feel while the group pays attention to them. No one interrupts the person during this time. During this turn, the person has a turn to talk about their experiences as a member of this group. It can be helpful to talk about early memories of being targeted or oppressed.
• People may experience emotional feelings as they talk about these experiences. Feeling emotions is part of the healing process. Laughing, crying, trembling all help people heal from the hurts of oppression and reclaim their pride, humanity, and power.
• When these groups meet over an extended period of time people build more safety to talk about important issues.

Support groups can be very helpful, but only if members ultimately turn from discussion of how they were victimized to real support for taking control of their lives and developing strategies for doing so. Good support groups can be tremendously helpful; ineffective ones can be nothing but opportunities to share bad experiences and slide deeper into helplessness. A good leader or facilitator can make all the difference

Take action against injustice and oppression.

When people take a stand against injustice and oppression it can be a strong antidote to internalized oppression. Taking charge of an unjust situation and setting it right goes miles in healing people from the oppression and injustice they have endured over time.

In the book The Montgomery Bus Boycott and the Women Who Started It: The Memoir of Jo Ann Gibson Robinson, Ms. Robinson talks about the sense of pride that she and others felt when determined and committed Black people joined together for the bus boycott.

"Before Monday was half gone, Negroes had made history. Never before had they united in such a manner. There was open respect and admiration in the eyes of many whites who had looked on before, dubious and amused. Even clerks in dime stores, all white, were more cordial. They were heard to add, after a purchase by a Black customer, "Y'all come back and see us," which was a very unusual occurrence. The Black customers held their heads higher. They felt reborn, important for the first time. A greater degree of race pride was exhibited. Many were themselves surprised at the response of the masses, and could not explain, if they had wanted to, what had changed them overnight into fearless, courageous, proud people, standing together for human dignity, civil rights, and, yes, self-respect! There was a stick-togetherness that drew them like a magnet. They showed a genuine fondness for one another. They were really free--free inside! They felt it! Acted It! Manifested it in their entire beings! They took great pride in being Black."

When you notice internalized oppression operating in groups, point it out, and help the group change direction.

In some organizations people tend to criticize each other, get into fights, lack discipline, and undermine or attack leadership. These problems have a range of causes. Oftentimes, the cause is, to some extent, due to internalized oppression. This is especially true if all or most of members of the group or organization are from a similar cultural background. Unfortunately, the more harshly a group has been treated, the more these dynamics operate. Again, this is not the fault of the group that has been targeted. Nevertheless, in order to make a group successful, this dynamic should be recognized and turned around.

How can you tell when internalized oppression is the source of the a difficulty a group? Although there is no sure formula, you can look for some clues that might help you make an educated guess. Some questions that might provide clues:

• Are people acting towards each other in ways similar to how the larger society mistreats them? For example, if the particular group is stereotyped for not being intelligent, do people act towards each other as if they were less than intelligent?
• Do these problems exist throughout the organization? If the problem shows itself in many different settings, it may be more likely that it is internalized oppression that is the main difficulty, rather than a few individuals’ problems.

Be careful here. Systematic problems in the organization may signal internalized discrimination or oppression, or they may be indications of problems with leadership, structure, or the character of the organization itself. Many organizations that don’t involve people who’ve been discriminated against have systemic problems. It only makes sense that many that do involve marginalized groups also do. Only if the problems seem to mirror the treatment of the group in question by the larger society should you consider that they may stem from that treatment.

• Do individuals in the organization struggle with self-esteem, have difficulties in taking care of themselves, or treating themselves well in other ways?

Even if you don't know for sure if internalized oppression is the main problem, it may at least part of the difficulty. In any case, many of the following recommendations will help any group that suffers from continual arguing, criticizing, undermining, or other related problems.

What can you do when you notice or suspect internalized oppression going on in a group?

• Visibly model how to treat others with respect, and set a good tone. For example, if everyone is criticizing the leader, you can point out his good qualities and accomplishments. If you lead the way in doing this, people will notice. One person can often steer the whole group by stepping outside a negative pattern.
• Take some time in a meeting for people to appreciate each other and notice what the group has accomplished. When people feel discouraged about their progress, they are more prone to treat each other badly.
• Point out the difficulty without blaming anyone: You can say something like, "Let's take a step back and look at how this meeting is going. Do you think if we all made an agreement to not interrupt or criticize each other, we could accomplish more?
• Explain to people about what internalized oppression is, and how you see that it operates in your organization. Explain, as you see it, how people are hurting each other; and point out the similarity to how society hurts the group as a whole.
• If the problem occurs in a meeting, have people break into pairs in which each person gets a turn to vent their feelings while the other person listens. Then have people come back to the business of the meeting.
• Take a stand and be firm. Whenever group members are putting each other down or acting in a way that has negative consequences, you can take a principled stand against what is occurring. Your stand will set a tone that others may be inclined to follow.
• Welcome new members into your group. Often groups with similar backgrounds become cliquish. They can tend to exclude new people much in the same way that their group has been excluded by the larger society. Establish a policy to welcome new members and get them into the center of the organization quickly.

Ground rules can be helpful here as well. The kinds of ground rules that are mentioned above for support groups – no interrupting, listening carefully, disagreeing with ideas rather than people, etc. – can set a tone of respect and acceptance that in itself can do a great deal to change people’s views of themselves and others.

Protect young people from the effects of oppression.

Internalized oppression makes its biggest impression on children, because they don't have any context for understanding the injustices of society. It is easy to personalize the negative messages that are coming at you if you don't have a framework for understanding oppression.

There are a few ways to help young people understand oppression and protect them from its effects. First, it helps to explain to children about how and why oppression works so they have a framework for understanding it. This can help a young person make sense of the mistreatment they experience or witness, rather than blaming themselves or others in their own group for it. For example, if you give Black children a history of slavery in the U.S., they will be able to make more sense of why racism operates today.

Teach young people to be proud of who they are and of their background and culture. Equally important, teach them the value of setting and working toward goals, and of not getting discouraged when things don’t go their way. People who’ve internalized discrimination or oppression may quit when faced with difficult circumstances, seeing themselves as incapable of overcoming setbacks. If children grow up with self-respect and with the understanding that occasional setbacks are a normal part of life, to be overcome by planning and hard work, they’ll keep moving forward in both good times and bad.

We can also set up environments for our children in which they and their cultures are cherished. For example, we can make schools become multicultural institutions. Teachers and administrators should understand the importance of integrating the histories and cultures of many groups into the curriculum. School staff should understand how to treat children equitably and have high expectations of every student.

In Summary

Ordinary people are as intelligent and capable as the "experts." We have the capacity to figure out how to solve problems and transform our communities into places in which everyone has opportunities to live a full and satisfying life.

Internalized oppression holds people back, by undermining their confidence and by making it difficult for them to work together. It is painful when people limit themselves as a result of the discrimination and oppression they have experienced.

Fortunately, we can understand how internalized oppression works and what to do to overcome it. Simply understanding how it works can help people turn around some situations. Healing from and overcoming internalized discrimination and oppression will go further in making communities more effective. Undoing internalized discrimination and oppression may be a key issue for fully empowering communities so they can do the work that needs to be done.

___ A person who is targeted, discriminated against, or oppressed over a period of time develops internalized oppression where they make the myths and misinformation that society communicates to them about their group part of their own image.

___ Internalized oppression can operate on individual and group levels.

___ Internalized oppression holds people back from thinking well of themselves (causing mental or physical illness), from living full lives, supporting their own communities, and from standing up against injustice.

___ Celebrating culture helps heal the effects of internalized oppression.

___ Forming groups with others who have internalized oppression can also help the healing process.

___ The strongest antidote to internalized oppression is taking a stand against injustice and oppression.

Fed Up Honeys "Makes Me Mad" Report

This research paper, composed by six young, urban women of color from the Center for Human Environments at the Graduate Center of CUNY, is an exploration of the issues stemming from stereotypes, especially of women and racial minorities in urban populations. The project focuses on the following questions:

• What is the relationship between the lack of resources (eg., education) in a community and stereotypes of young urban women of color?
• What are the impacts of stereotyping on young women's well-being?
• How do stereotypes effect and reinforce your self-image? Your understanding of your peers? Your community?
• The "Makes Me Mad' report ends with a call to action for community builders and outlines what the communities of the Lower East Side need from a unique, inside perspective.

 

You're at a restaurant with a group of co-workers after work. You're telling them about your decision to buy a house in Western Heights and how excited you are. One of them says to you, "Are you sure want to move there? I hear that there is a lot of crime in that area, you know, robberies, drugs, and even murder. It's a Black neighborhood, you know, that's probably why. Did you consider Eastern Heights? You may fit in there better! It's a nice middle-class, white suburban neighborhood. Definitely no crime there, if you know what I mean." You're dumbfounded. You can't believe that someone is actually saying this. You start to tell her that she's wrong and ask her what made her think that way.

You think some more about what happened on your way home. You realize that your colleague is but one person; who knows how many other people out there think like her? It helps to change people's racial stereotypes and attitudes, but the only way real change can come about is if our institutions and systems implement policies that promote racial equality. You suddenly feel angry. What if redlining still goes on because real estate companies are filled with people who think like your colleague? What policies exist to stop such institutionalized prejudice?

The above encounter at the restaurant is an example of racial prejudice. Redlining (refusing to sell a property to someone based on his or her race), which is illegal, is an act of racism or institutionalized prejudice. It is important to understand the distinction between racial prejudice and racism because they are affected differently by issues related to power and, therefore, require different levels of involvement and effort to address.

There are many forms of prejudice and oppression, not just based on race, but on gender, class, sexual orientation, etc. This section does not attempt to deal with all the possible forms. The strategies and activities described here for addressing racial prejudice and racism can, however, provide ideas for dealing with other forms of discrimination. As you work on addressing such inequities, think also about ways to prevent them by encouraging and establishing inclusive practices right from the start. Imagine that this work resembles two sides of a coin. One side represents the negative values and practices you are against. The other side represents the positive values and practices you are for. In other words, start thinking about building inclusive communities while fighting the "isms" that exist in our society.

What is racial prejudice?

To be racially prejudiced means to have an unfavorable or discriminatory attitude or belief towards someone else or another group of people primarily on the basis of skin color or ethnicity. For example, John is prejudiced because he believes that the new Hmong refugees in his community are stupid and barbaric because they kill chickens in their backyard. He has reported this to the local police many times.

What do you think should be done in this situation? One possibility is to invite John and Cha (his Hmong neighbor) to a meeting to help John understand the Hmong culture and to help Cha understand the state laws and regulations about killing animals in your home. The meeting should be facilitated by someone who has experience with conflict management and is deemed credible by both John and Cha. This attempt could result in change at the individual level.

What is racism?

When racial prejudice is supported by institutions and laws, racism is present. For example, when the Hmong neighbor, Cha, is arrested and put in jail for killing chickens in the backyard and no attempt is made to understand why he did it or to explain the laws to him (because he does not speak English), racism is present.

What do you think should be done in this situation? One possibility is to invite the police chief and other officers to a discussion about how the newcomers to the community are affecting law enforcement. It is likely that they have tried to explain the laws to the newcomers so that these complaints can stop, but it's not working because of cultural and language barriers. You might want to try and work with the police and local Hmong leaders to develop a strategy for increasing the police department's cultural competence and, at the same time, increase the newcomers' understanding about the laws in this country. This attempt could result in change at the institutional level.

While we can never be entirely free of racial prejudice, we have to be able to identify and address racism because it perpetuates the unearned privileges of some and imposes undeserved restrictions on others. The economic well-being of a group of people is intertwined with racism and unless it is addressed intentionally and thoroughly, a community building effort will not reach its full potential.

Racial prejudice and racism have most been perpetrated in the U.S. by people of European descent against various other groups, such as Black, Latinx, and Indigenous group. However, because of the shifts in our communities' demographics in some parts of the U.S., racial prejudice and racism also lead to tensions between people of non-European descent, such as between Black and Asian Americans. As the U.S. becomes more diverse and the world's residents more mobile, we must be prepared to act in order to reduce the potential for hostility due to differences in our physical traits and other characteristics.

No matter what culture or part of the world you're from, you've seen the results of racial prejudice and racism, even if you've never directly felt it aimed at you. The results of racial prejudice and racism can be seen everywhere: stereotypes, violence, underfunded schools, unemployment, police brutality, shabby housing, a disproportionate number of Black men on death row, etc. Racial prejudice and racism can be found in many different areas of society: in the media, in service organizations, in the workplace, in neighborhoods, at school, in local government, on your block -- in virtually every area of daily life.

Why is it important to reduce racial prejudice and racism?

Here are some further reasons why racial prejudice and racism should be reduced:

• They impede or prevent the object of racism from achieving his or her full potential as a human being.
• They impede or prevent the object of racism from making his or her fullest contribution to society.
• They impede or prevent the person or group engaging in racist actions from benefiting from the potential contributions of their victim, and, as a result, weaken the community as a whole.
• They increase the present or eventual likelihood of retaliation by the object of racist actions.
• They go against many of the democratic ideals upon which the United States and other democracies were founded.
• Racism is illegal, in many cases.

Racial prejudice and racism feed on each other. If racial prejudice is not reduced, it could lead to racism, and if racism is not addressed, it could lead to more prejudice. This is why strategies to address discrimination on the basis of race should be thorough and multifaceted so that both individual attitudes and institutionalized practices are affected.

In addition, here are some examples of why racial prejudice and racism should be addressed in your community building effort if more than one racial or ethnic group is involved:

• Every participant in your effort has his or her own understanding of the world and how it works. The European American residents in the neighborhood don't understand why the new immigrants from Guatemala have to stand at the street corner to get work (they are commonly referred to as day laborers). They think it is because they are either "illegal" or too lazy to find full-time jobs. Part of the problem is that the residents have not had the opportunity to debunk these stereotypes through direct interaction and contact with the day laborers and to hear their stories.
• Every participant in your effort is polite, respectful, and empathetic towards each of the others, and understands that in order to address a common concern, they all have to work together; yet, they have not been able to engage a representative from the Black members in their community. It helps to understand why Black folx have traditionally been "left out" and how important it is to keep finding ways to engage them.
• The board of directors of a local community center gets together to discuss ways to improve the center so that it is more welcoming to people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds. They come up with ideas such as hiring more culturally diverse staff, posting notices in different languages, hosting food festivals, and celebrating various cultural events. It helps the participants to understand that even though they are taking the first steps to becoming culturally sensitive, their institutional policies may still be racist because they have not included anyone from the various racial and ethnic groups to participate in the strategic planning process, thereby not sharing their power.

Addressing racial prejudice and racism also means dealing with racial exclusion and injustice. Ultimately, this means that your community building effort is promoting democracy, a value of the United States and its Constitution.

In other words, there are both moral and sometimes legal reasons to act against racism. There are also strong pragmatic reasons as well. Racial prejudice and racism can harm not only the victims, but also the larger society, and indirectly the very people who are engaging in the acts. What's more, some important new research suggests that in some cases, racist actions can cause physiological harm to the victims. For example, a recent review of physiological literature concludes:

"Interethnic group and intraethnic group racism are significant stressors for many African-Americans. As such, intergroup and intragroup racism may play a role in the high rates of morbidity and mortality in this population." (Clark, Anderson, Clark, and Williams, 1999).

While we try not to moralize on the Community Tool Box, let's face it - racial prejudice and racism are just plain wrong.

How can you reduce racial prejudice and racism?

While we try in the Community Tool Box to offer easy, step-by-step instructions for community work, changing a group of people's prejudiced attitudes and an institution's racist actions isn't so simply carried out and it doesn't happen overnight. Reducing racial prejudice and racism is a complex task that varies from community to community, so it doesn't lend itself well to simple, 1-2-3 solutions that can be adopted and applied without having a thorough understanding of the context and environment. Something like this takes knowing your community well and choosing strategies that best fit your community's needs, history, context, energies, and resources.

With that in mind, we offer a variety of activities and strategies you can conduct in combating racial prejudice and racism so that you can decide which of these tactics might work best in your workplace, school, neighborhood, and community.

Note: None of these activities or strategies alone will lead to sustainable change at the individual, institutional, or community levels. In order for such change to occur, you have to take actions that will allow you to consistently affect the different levels over a long period of time.

Before you decide on the best activities and strategies, do the following:

• Learn about your community (e.g., what groups live there, what has been the nature of their relationships, what incidents have occurred in the past due to racial prejudice or racism).
• Document activities in your community that reflect racial prejudice or racism. Documentation will show proof that there is a problem, especially when the community is in denial that racism exists.
• Invite a group of people to participate in the planning process, if appropriate (e.g., the advocates who always take action, the representatives of each group, the people who are affected).
• Understand the depth of the problem (e.g., it's a new problem because of a group of newcomers, or it's an old problem that won't go away).
• Identify and understand the kinds of policies that may need to be challenged.
• Determine the short-term and long-term, if any, goals of your strategy (e.g., change people's attitudes and/or change an institutional policy).
• Consider how far the selected strategy(ies) will take your community (e.g., as far as initial awareness, or all the way to electing officials from the under-represented groups).
• Consider what existing resources you can build on and what additional assistance or resources you may need (e.g., anti-racism training, funding, or buy-in from the mayor).
• Consider how much time you have (e.g., are you responding to a crisis that needs to be dealt with immediately, to the need to curb a festering issue, or to the desire to promote the value of diversity).
• Review your strategies to ensure that they deal with racial prejudice and racism at the individual, community, and institutional levels, and they link dialogue to action.

Note: Appropriate structures and processes need to be set up in the community to implement these activities

Things You Can Do In The Workplace: From Reducing Racial Prejudice To Reducing Racism

Actively recruit and hire a racially and ethnically diverse staff.

While it's not enough just to fill your staff with a rainbow of people from different backgrounds, representation from a variety of groups is an important place to start. Contact minority organizations, social groups, networks, media, and places where people of different ethnic and cultural groups congregate or access information. If you use word-of-mouth as a recruitment tool, spread the word to members of those groups, or key contact people. Also, consider writing an equal-opportunity policy for hiring and promoting staff.

Actively recruit culturally and ethnically diverse board members, executives, and managers.

Racial prejudice can be reduced if the staff becomes diverse and raises the awareness of each other, but racism is reduced when power is shared by the leadership.

In order to move beyond racial prejudice and ensure inclusiveness, your organization’s board members and executives should reflect the communities or constituencies it serves. For instance, one group decided to reserve a certain number of slots on its governing board for representatives of the cultural and ethnic groups in the community.

Talk to the people of color on your staff and ask them what barriers or attitudes they face at work. Examine your newsletter or other publications and look out for negative portrayals, exclusion, or stereotypes.

Find out how you can improve your workplace for members from diverse racial and ethnic groups that work there. This will not only give you some practical ideas about what you need to work on, but it will also signify that the needs of every group is taken seriously. Look around at any artwork you have in your offices. Are any groups represented in a stereotypical way? Is there diversity in the people portrayed? For example, if all the people in the clip art used in your newsletter are European Americans, you should make an effort to use clip art that shows a bigger variety of people.

Form a permanent task force or committee dedicated to forming and monitoring a plan for promoting inclusion and fighting racism in your workplace.

Racial prejudice is reduced by developing relationships and ensuring that materials are culturally sensitive, but racism is reduced when there is a permanent task force or committee that becomes part of the governance structure to ensure inclusive and just institutional policies.

Things You Can Do In The Media: Reducing Racial Prejudice To Reducing Racism

Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper or contact your local TV and radio station when the coverage is biased or when there is no coverage at all.

The media plays a powerful role in conveying messages to the public. Racial prejudice exists in the media if, for instance, the reporters always reveal the cultural or ethnic background of a group of loitering youth when they are persons of color, but not otherwise. Writing a letter or contacting the local media stations will help increase their staff’s awareness about the implications of the prejudiced way in which they cover the news.

Organize a coalition of leaders from diverse communities and from the local media groups to discuss how they can work together to address the way people from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds are presented in the media.

Having a long-term vision of how the community and media representatives can work together will help address racism at the institutional level. In order to do this, it is advisable to organize the community leaders and media representatives separately to discuss their issues and then facilitate a meeting between them. This will provide you and the facilitator a chance to know about the concerns and challenges before convening everyone.

Contact the local media and organize presentations.

You can contact and organize presentations to educate the staff about the values and traditions of diverse groups and help them understand the negative implications of their coverage related to race and ethnicity.

Pressure the local media organizations to develop and enforce policies for hiring staff from different racial and ethnic background.

You can help broker relationships between the media organizations and organizations that serve a specific cultural or ethnic group (e.g., NAACP, National Council of La Raza) so that networks can be developed to distribute job announcements.

In order to get information about how to cover different cultural and ethnic groups, media representatives can seek advice from the following:

Asian American Journalists Association

South Asian Journalists Association

National Association of Black Journalists

Things You Can Do in the Schools: Reducing Racial Prejudice to Reducing Racism

Form a diversity task force or club. Recognize holidays and events relating to a variety of cultural and ethnic groups.

This can be done in a school or university setting. Your diversity group can sponsor panel discussions, awareness activities, and cultural events to help prevent racism. Observing and conducting educational activities about events like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, Juneteenth, and other dates of significance to minority groups provides an opportunity for students to learn about the history of different cultural and ethnic groups and reduce misinformed or inaccurate perceptions.

Conduct field trips to historical places that represent struggles against racism or places that embody the values and traditions of another group of people.

Work to include anti-racism education in your school's curriculum. Develop a strategy to change racist policies in your school.

Recognizing the traditions of other cultural and ethnic groups and developing intercultural relationships will reduce racial prejudice. Examine and change school policies that perpetuate exclusion of some cultural or ethnic groups.

Develop procedures for dealing with racist acts and provide incentives (e.g., extra credits, special recognition) for efforts to promote cross-racial understanding.

Lobby your school board to make changes or additions to the curriculum to teach anti-racism and to provide seed grants to teachers or instructors to help them conduct research and activities about racism and to promote anti-racist values and principles.

Examine the recruitment, application, and admissions process for students, teachers, and staff from different racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Things You Can Do in Your Neighborhood: Reducing Racial Prejudice to Reducing Racism

Welcome all newcomers. Make "safe zone" signs or stickers.

Form a committee to welcome anyone who moves into your neighborhood regardless of what they look like. Send representatives from your committee or neighborhood association over to the new person's house with flowers, a fruit basket, or some other small gift and say, "We're glad you're living here. We welcome you." Some neighborhoods have made small signs or stickers for their homes that read, "We welcome good neighbors of all traditions, backgrounds, and faiths." These stand in contrast to the small signs in many yards that warn would-be intruders of the particular security system they've had installed.

Write articles about different cultures and their traditions in the neighborhood newsletter or newspaper. Place advertisements about different cultural celebrations.

Identify and change policies that are exclusive and maintain the status quo.

Making someone feel a part of your neighborhood helps to reduce racial prejudice. Addressing redlining (the illegal practice of a lending institution denying loans or restricting their number for certain areas of a community) reduces racist policies.

Organize a committee of lawyers, real-estate agents, lending institutions, and community and civil rights leaders to conduct a study and present the facts to the local government. If there is a neighborhood association or council, consider if it is representative of the neighborhood's demographics and diversity. If not, develop strategies for engaging leaders (formal and informal) from the underrepresented groups.

Things You Can Do in Your Community: Reducing Racial Prejudice to Reducing Racism

Organize a cleanup or rebuilding campaign to erase racist graffiti or eliminate vandalism. Put up "Hate Free Zones" signs in the community.

Doing something as a community to repair physical damage done by racism shows that the people in your town won't stand for such displays of hatred. It also can attract media attention to your cause and put a positive spin on a negative situation.

Organize a city-wide coalition of community leaders made up of representatives from the different cultural and ethnic groups, as well as different community sectors (e.g., police, schools, businesses, local government) to examine their existing policies and determine what needs to change.

Doing something as a group of residents demonstrates the individuals' commitment to reduce prejudice. Creating a governing body that represents institutional leaders helps to reduce racism at the institutional level.

Reviewing hiring and contracting policies in the city government will help change institutional norms that could be perpetuating economic disparities.

Identify and support new candidates from different racial and ethnic groups to run for city council and other community-wide governing bodies.

Conducting candidate forums and voter registration drives will increase residents' knowledge about the candidates and what they stand for, and increase the candidates' accountability to their constituents should they win.

Examples:
St. Francis De Sales Central Elementary Cleanup Campaign
In Morgantown, West Virginia, a convenience store had been painted with racist skinhead graffiti. After their teacher showed them a video on how another town had fought hate, a 6th grade class at St. Francis De Sales Central Elementary decided that if the graffiti was left alone, it would give the impression that the community didn't care about racism. The kids got together and painted over the graffiti, earning them the thanks of the state Attorney General and publicizing their point.

Toronto Coalition Against Racism
In the summer of 1993, Toronto experienced a rise in increasingly violent racism, much of which was directed at Tamil immigrants. Much of the violence was being done by neo-Nazis. Eventually, a large protest was held, with 3,000 people led by the Tamil community chanting "Immigrants In! Nazis Out!"

The people who organized the protest went on to form the Toronto Coalition Against Racism. TCAR is a coalition of 50 community-based anti-racist and social justice organizations. According to its website, TCAR has been involved in many community actions since forming, including:

• Opposing a ban placed on Filipino youth from entering a local mall
• Working with the Somali community to oppose harassment by security guards and landlords at a housing complex
• Mobilizing the public through forums and actions in defense of immigrant and refugee rights
• Supporting the Tamil Resource Center as it struggled to rebuild its library and office after a firebombing in May 1995

Put together a community forum or town event on racism.

Give citizens a chance to talk about how racism affects your community can give you insight into how people feel on the subject, ideas on what you and others can do to combat racism, a chance to let people who share similar concerns to network with each other, and to publicly let racists know that your community will not stand for racism in its midst.

Create an intentional strategy that engages local government, business, education, media, and other leaders to demonstrate the commitment to eliminate racism in the institutions in your community.

Conducting public forums and events will increase awareness and reduce racial prejudice. Working in a coalition made up of cross-sector leaders and developing a clear plan will move your community towards a more sustainable effort to eliminate racism.

Bringing together leaders to create a strategy that deliberately, systematically, and explicitly deals with racism will enable your community to have a longer-term vision for a just and healthy community. Each institution should find a way for how it can contribute to eliminating racism in its policies and practices. The media should be involved to help get the word out. Credible leaders need to take a public stand to promote and validate the effort. Work to ensure that diversity is valued and included in the city government's mission statement

Make an effort to support events that celebrate the traditions of different cultural and ethnic groups.

This can be as simple as including such events on the community calendar and actively publicizing them. Your organization can also co-sponsor these events to show its support.

Organize vigils, anti-racism demonstrations, protests, or rallies.

If a racist group or incident occurred in your community, organizing a vigil, demonstration or public protest will not only give you and others some effective way to respond, but also help give hope to your community by having everyone come.

After September 11, various immigrant communities held vigils to express their sympathy for the World Trade Center and Pentagon victims and their families, speak out against anti-Muslim acts, and show their commitment and loyalty to the United States.

The Center for Healthy Communities in Dayton, Ohio hosted a community forum titled "Race, Ethnicity and Public Policy: A Community Dialogue" in the fall of 1997. This community forum gave a panel of local expert as well as members of the audience the chance to ask mayoral and city commission candidates questions about the impact of racism on the Dayton community and the role it plays in local public policy decisions. More than 150 people attended, including state and local officials, community organizers, clergy, citizens, and students.

South Orange/Maplewood Coalition on Race's long-term vision for an integrated community
The Coalition developed strategies at the individual, community, and institutional levels to foster and support an integrated neighborhood. The Coalition is planning to conduct study circles to provide residents an opportunity to build relationships. A community-wide activity was to invite Beverly Daniel Tatum to a community forum to talk about racism and how it affects our children's education. The Coalition worked with local bookstores to first sell Ms. Tatum's book at a reduced cost and to publicize the community forum. During the community forum after Ms. Tatum's presentation, small group discussions were held by facilitators that the Coalition provided. At the institutional level, there is loan program for homebuyers that is designed to encourage and improve neighborhood diversity in particular areas of the community where one race is underrepresented. They also worked closely with the school district to "reinvent" a school to become a "Lab school," which has attracted a more diverse student population to the school, and increased demand among people of different races for the neighborhood around the school.

Things You Can Do As An Individual: Fighting Racial Prejudice to Fighting Racism

You don't have to form a group to do something about racism. As an individual, there are many steps that you can take to reduce another person's prejudice, including:

• Make a commitment to speak up when you hear racial slurs or remarks that signal racial prejudice.
• Take advantage of events and other informational materials during Black History Month or Hispanic Heritage Month and make it a point to learn something new about different cultures.
• Think about ways to improve your workplace to promote racial understand and equity. Be proactive about making suggestions.
• If you are a parent, give your child opportunities to attend events about other cultures. Integrate different traditions about parenting and children's festivals into your parent teacher association and your child's school. Work with the teachers to coordinate such opportunities.

Changing people's attitudes and institutional practices is hard but necessary work. A commitment among individuals, organizations, and institutions to valuing diversity is essential for healthy communities. Changes will not happen overnight, but you can begin to take small steps towards making a difference, as suggested in this section. These small steps build the foundation for more organized, deeper, and larger efforts to build inclusive communities, a topic that will be discussed in the next section of this chapter.

___ To be racially prejudiced means to have an unfavorable or discriminatory attitude or belief towards someone else or another group of people primarily on the basis of skin color or ethnicity.

___ Racism occurs when racial prejudice is supported by institutions and laws.

___ Strategies to address discrimination on the basis of race should be thorough and multifaceted so that both individual attitudes and institutionalized practices are affected.

___ Changing a group of people's prejudiced attitudes and an institution's racist actions doesn't happen overnight.

Example: Inclusive Dubuque

 

Inclusive Dubuque is a peer-learning network of partners committed to supporting an equitable and inclusive culture to meet the economic and cultural needs of their diverse community. The network works collaboratively to eliminate bias in their community.

Tool: What color are your jellybeans?

This resource contains a “jellybean exercise” to help participants explore their patterns of interactions.

What Color Are Your Jellybeans (pdf)

 

"Mind your own business."

Does that phrase sound familiar? Many of us heard that phrase in our families growing up.

As community builders, there may be many times when we really need to mind our own business, but often our work requires us to be involved with other people and make their business ours. We need to get to know people, find out what they're up against, and support them in their struggles. That's a lot of what allies do--get involved and support people, instead of staying on the sidelines.

If we want to develop effective partnerships and coalitions, we need to learn how to be active allies to each other's groups. If we want people to stand up for our concerns and interests, we need to understand and stand up for theirs. If we want to make changes in society so that oppression is not acceptable, we need to learn how to work together as each other's allies.

What is an ally? An ally is any person who supports, empowers, or stands up for another person or a group of people.

Everybody has had the experience of needing an ally. When you were a young person, did you ever have an adult blame you for something you didn't do? Did you ever have so much bad luck that you needed a lot of help from others to turn your situation around? Did you ever get targeted because you were different? Whatever your life story, there are probably dozens of times, when you could have used a person or group to help you when you were in a jam or when you were unfairly blamed, targeted, or left without resources.

In this section we are going to focus on how to be allies to people from diverse backgrounds and oppressed groups.

Why? Because people from targeted or oppressed groups are systematically bombarded by society with unfair treatment, hostility, violence, or other forms of discrimination. People who are targeted need support from those people who are not targeted in the same ways.

Why? Because in order to be an ally to people in groups that have been targeted, it is important to understand how you have been targeted in your life or how your family has been targeted in the past. The history of your own cultural group, often generations back, can influence the way you see other groups. If you are aware of how your own heritage and history has influenced you, you will be better equipped to be an ally to others.

On the other hand, if you are a person who is already aware of your own oppression, some of the information in this section may be familiar. Unfortunately however, our first-hand experience of oppression doesn't automatically teach us how to be allies to members of other groups. In order to work in close partnerships with other groups, we all have to learn how to be effective allies to each other.

Why do we become allies to others?

There are a few important reasons. First, it is in our own self-interest to be an ally. In the long-run, each of our own struggles is tied to everyone else's. In order to live in the kind of communities we hope for, in order to build real unity, and in order to reach our goals of building strong communities, we need to understand that we are all affected when any one person or group is not getting a fair deal or is not able to live a normal decent life. Second, being an ally is simply the right to do. If we want to live in communities that have a high moral standard, we ourselves need to start the ball rolling by doing what is right.

In this chapter we will talk about:

• What allies are
• Why community builders should learn to be allies to people from different cultural backgrounds and oppressed groups
• How to become an ally to people from diverse backgrounds and oppressed groups

What are allies?

There are many different ways to be an ally.

• A man tells his coworkers that he's no longer interested in telling or listening to any jokes that put down women.
• An experienced manager gives a new hire from an oppressed group some tactical advice on how to work the system.
• A individual helps a person of color or a working class person to run for office, through encouragement, fund-raising, and direct campaigning.
• A college educated man works at a community center in a low-income neighborhood. He trains neighborhood people to lead community meetings, rather than leading the meetings himself.
• Parents and teachers organize a program about teasing and targeting to help teenagers who are being harassed for being gay in their high school. They also launch a program in which all students can come to small groups to talk about their feelings about sexuality, sex roles, and other related topics.
• A person stands up in a town meeting and speaks on behalf of an immigrant group that is being scapegoated for "taking jobs" from people who have lived in the community for a longer period of time.
• A couple helps a teenager by taking him into their home because the teen's family is not able to take care of him.

Sometimes, it's just reaching out and caring; sometimes it means taking a stand against ethnic, sexist, or other oppressive jokes; sometimes it is thinking about a person and encouraging them to keep trying; it can mean helping a person get a seat on an influential board, it could also mean speaking out publicly against injustice; sometimes it means backing a person's leadership; sometimes it entails organizing a demonstration against discrimination.

Whatever the circumstances, as community members, we probably have a greater capacity to be effective allies to each other than we realize. We have the ability to think about each other, empower each other, and act on each other's behalf in our day-to-day lives or in emergency situations.

And like almost anything else, being an ally is a skill. Although being an ally often comes quite naturally, you can learn how to be an ally; and the more you do it the better you get at it.

If you are not a member of a particular cultural group, you have a role to play that is different from the members of that group. You may be able to intervene and be effective in supporting the group in ways that the group members may not.

As an ally, you have a perspective that is different than people directly involved. Have you ever watched an accident take place? Perhaps you stood and watched while two cars crashed. You would certainly have a different perspective on what happened than the people who were in the accident. If you are an ally, you are not directly targeted by that particular oppression or set of circumstances. You can see outside of it and present a different point of view. Your point of view can be helpful to people who are targeted. You are in a distinct position to help.

Additional important points to remember about being an ally:

• You don't need to wait until someone invites you to become an ally--you can simply take the initiative. You may need to go slowly and learn as you go, but don't assume you are not wanted just because no one asked.
• Anyone can be an ally to anyone else. No matter your ethnicity, race, religion, country of origin, age, sex, gender, or orientation, you are entitled to be an ally and act on behalf of any group you choose.
• As you learn to be an ally, remember, allies make mistakes! It is part of the job description. If you are going to get involved, you are going to make mistakes. It's either that or sit on the sidelines.
• A true ally demonstrates allyship with tangible actions, not by just claiming to be an ally.
• Being an ally is not only a one-way relationship. It is often reciprocal.

Why should you be an ally to people from oppressed groups?

As we said earlier, it is in our own self-interest to be an ally to people from diverse and oppressed groups. Ultimately, our own struggles are tied to everyone else's. Here is why:

• We live in an increasingly diverse country. In order to organize, unify, and empower communities, people need to learn how act on each other's behalf.
• When you give support to others, you are developing allies for your own groups and your own causes--in fact there is probably no better way to make an ally than to be one to someone else.
• In order to address and change the systemic problems that cause oppression, you will need a lot of people who work together cooperatively and who are not vulnerable to divide-and-conquer tactics. Strong alliances between many groups can provide the necessary people power to make systemic changes.
• When you are standing up against oppression, you are creating a moral standard in your community. You are putting people on notice that targeting any group will not be allowed.
• Groups are frequently isolated from each other: "Us" from "them" and "them " from "us." Often groups that are targeted feel that no one cares about "their" issues and they can't get help. Often non-target groups feel that their lives are not impacted by racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, etc.; they feel powerless, numb, and distant. Being an ally is an antidote to isolation for those targeted by oppression and those in the targeting role--it empowers everyone involved.
• Our communities need the voices, opinions, and help of people from many different groups. As we reach out to groups, they will be more likely to become involved in and give their energy to the bigger community.
• Last, but not least, in the process of becoming an ally, you have an opportunity to regain your humanity in a society that can often be dehumanizing.

Why shouldn't you become an ally?

Not everyone should be an ally in all situations. There are times when our motivations are not useful or can even be detrimental.

Here are some examples:

• Don't be an ally to diverse groups as a way of avoiding your own group. If you don't like your own group or background, you won't be effective with people in different groups. People will detect your lack of pride and will not trust you. In addition, you have to be open to understanding all groups
• Don't be an ally to alleviate feelings of guilt. Alleviating guilt is not usually a sturdy long-term motivator. Lillian Roybal Rose, expert in cross-cultural communication, said in Impacts of Racism on White Americans, "If you feel guilty this can eventually lead to anger, and your behavior then becomes reactive and resentful." Rose goes on to draw an analogy between a guilty ally and a parent who is compensating for not meeting her children's long-term needs for attention by bringing the children big gifts. The gifts don't take care of what the children need; they are still not happy and the parent becomes angry because the children are not grateful and appreciative.
• Don't be an ally in order to "help" people because you are "better" than they are. This may be obvious, but it is important. Sometimes people are motivated by the unconscious belief that oppression is the fault of the oppressed--that if members of oppressed groups were more clever, smart, or harder-working they would not have gotten themselves into this bad situation. If we think we are better than others we are merely reinforcing oppressive messages.

Okay. Now let's get down to the nuts and bolts of how to be an effective ally.

How do you become an ally?

Establish friendships with people who belong to groups that are not usually in the center of mainstream culture.

Establishing a friendship may not be a sensational occurrence that gets reported in newspapers, but it is probably one of the most significant things you can do as a community builder and ally. Each person needs to know they matter--friendship is one the most powerful tools we have to communicate that. One of the most damaging parts of oppression is the message given to people that they don't make a difference to other human beings. Friendship is the antidote to that message.

Also, friendship is the foundation for almost any other step in being an ally. For example, having a friendship with someone in a different cultural group can help you get a first -hand look at the problems people face in their day-to-day lives. Breaking down barriers and mistrust between groups usually occurs between two people, not just in the acts of legislation or policy-making.

So, how do you make friends with people from different cultural groups or oppressed groups? In most ways, it is the same as making friends with anyone. You spend time with people. You try to set up projects in which you can work together so that you can have day-to-day contact. You ask what people are interested in and you listen to the answers. You also open up about yourself and put your trust in the people you want to get to know.

Establishing friendships is a slow process which builds with each interaction. When you are making friends with people who have a different culture, or who have a history of oppression, it is important to be more sensitive, more patient, and make more of an effort. When people have been mistreated by society as a whole or by your group in particular, trust will take more time to establish. That is okay; you can't expect that people will trust you right away.

Also, if people tell you about their disappointments about you or other people in your group, try not to be defensive. It may be a sign that you have earned enough trust for people to be honest with you about the way they see things. You want people to be real with you.

Learn about each other's cultures and histories.

If you want to be useful to people of a cultural group, you should learn something about that group--it's history, religious beliefs, its strengths, or how its people have been oppressed. For example, if you want to be an ally to Japanese Americans, then reading some of books about the U.S. Internment Camps during World War II would be one piece of your self-education plan.

Or, if you want to be an ally to elders, you might ask them what it's like to grow older. How are older people are treated in society? Are they taken seriously? Are they left out of celebrations? And what is it like to have to contend with health care cuts?

Examine your own prejudices.

In order to be effective allies to people that are different from ourselves, we have to face our own prejudices. Otherwise, unintentionally, we can act in ways that are not as helpful as we would like. We have to become aware of the ways that we unintentionally may be racist, anti -Semitic, sexist, homophobic, etc.

We all carry misinformation and stereotypes about people. Especially, when we are young, we acquire this misinformation in bits and pieces from TV, from listening to people talk, from watching the expressions on our parents' faces, and from the culture at large. We also witness people being treated badly because they are people of color or are poor, etc. All these experiences are confusing to young children; they are hurtful experiences that make us feel bad about ourselves and make us feel distant from both those who are targeted and those who are acting out the prejudiced behavior. These experiences, like any hurtful experience, get locked away inside us, but don't disappear. They provide us with a foundation of misunderstanding and fear upon which our prejudices are built.

We are not bad people because we acquired prejudices; no one requested to be misinformed or confused. But once you have them, what how can you undo these prejudices?

You can heal from them. Below are two different methods for overcoming your prejudice:

Re-evaluation Counseling Model:Reevaluation Counseling, an organization that promotes peer counseling, uses a model of healing from prejudices in which people take turns listening to each other. The theory of Reevaluation Counseling states that people are good and no one would develop prejudices unless they, themselves, had been hurt.

In this model, people establish a listening partnership or support group with others who have similar cultural backgrounds. In these groups or pairs, people take turns talking about how they acquired prejudices when they were young, while others listen without judgment.

People often start out by focusing on their experiences being targeted and hurt by others. As each person remembers their own battles with oppression, they are more equipped to face the ways in which other people have been targeted.

When people are ready, they tell about their experiences in acquiring prejudices, or in colluding with discriminatory practices. Surrounded by others who are also taking risks, people are able to overcome their defensiveness. As people tell their stories, they often feel their emotions. People sometimes cry, laugh, or tremble, as they thaw out the parts of themselves that have been frozen in unaware prejudice.

In a group, a man--we'll call him Steve--talked about how he became vulnerable to prejudiced attitudes. As a boy, Steve was consistently targeted for being shorter than other boys. At school no one intervened to help him. He came to expect that the adults would not stand up for him when he was teased or beat up.

He was told to "toughen up." Having to deal with these problems on his own, he began to expect that everyone would have to learn to take care of their problems by themselves. So when Steve's Black, Jewish, or Polish friends got targeted, he did not expect grown-ups to help with the situation. Nor did he feel that he could do anything to help the situation.

After meeting in a support group for awhile, Steve remembered what it had been like to be targeted for being short. He also remembered that early on, he had had friendships with people from many different cultural groups. Eventually, Steve talked and cried about being left on his own to struggle against cruelty directed at him and others.

He began to understand that he had gotten in the habit of distancing himself from others who needed help, and he grieved the loss of his earlier friendships with children of different races and cultures. He made a decision to not let his old experiences hold him back from making friends with people different from himself.

Lillian Roybal Rose, cross-cultural expert, says, in reference to healing from racism"...if white people only confront these issues on a cognitive basis, they will wind up as hostages of political correctness. They will be careful about what they say, but their actions will be rigid and self-conscious. When the process is emotional, as well as cognitive, the state of being an ally becomes a process of gaining one's own humanity. Then there is no fear, because there is no image to tear down, no posture to correct. The movement to a global ethnic point of view requires tremendous grieving. I encourage white people to not shrink from the emotional content of this process,"

What Lillian Roybal Rose says about how white people need to grieve about racism, can also apply to men needing to grieve about sexism, gentiles needing to grieve about anti-Semitism, wealthy or middle-class people needing to grieve about classism, and any other group that needs to overcome their unaware prejudices.

Study Circles Model: Study circles are small-group, democratic, peer-led discussions that provide a simple way to involve community members in genuine dialogue about issues such as race, immigration, and cultural differences. In these discussions people from different backgrounds talk openly about their experiences related to cultural differences, race, immigration, violence and other issues that divide people. Oftentimes in these discussions, people become more aware of their prejudices by listening to the experiences of others and by having a chance to talk about their own experiences and beliefs.

Study circles can take place within organizations such as schools, unions, or government agencies. They have also been used very successfully as large-scale community-wide programs in which sometimes thousands of people address these issues.

A similar model to study circles is caucusing. Caucusing occurs when individuals of the same background engage in small-group, democratic, peer-led discussions. For example, in race-based caucusing, Black individuals (or Black individuals and individuals of color depending on the amount and races of the people forming caucuses) will form one group and white individuals will form another group. These separate caucuses allows for Black folx to debrief their experiences of racism and discuss their needs while individuals in the white caucus can discuss unlearning white supremacy and how to be an anti-racist ally. 

Take a stand when groups are targeted with unjust treatment.

Perhaps the most important way to be an ally is to act, speak out, or take a stand when a individual or group is being targeted.

There are a variety of methods and avenues which people use to take action when injustice is being aimed at a group. The one you choose will depend on the situation. It could be an ad in the paper, a boycott, a demonstration, or using behind-the-scenes negotiations to change the situation.

In Billings Montana, in December, 1993, a series of hate crimes occurred. Someone broke the windows of Jewish families who had menorahs in their windows. The town organized and distributed paper menorahs. All around town people put menorahs in their windows, taking a stand against anti-Semitism.

Taking a stand or speaking out against injustice usually requires courage, but it is the bottom line when it comes to being an ally.

Promote the leadership of people in groups that traditionally don't take leadership positions.

You can be an ally by promoting people into leadership roles. This empowers people, so they can take charge of lives, instead of being dependent on help from others. In particular, you can make leadership opportunities more available to immigrants, women, people of color, low-income people, people with disabilities, young people, and others.

You can promote leaders by providing informal or formal leadership training, mentoring them, by inviting individuals to take leadership roles, or by supporting them in elections for local offices.

The organization "Youth on Board" in Somerville, Massachusetts, trains and supports young people to be involved in decision-making that affects their lives. For example, people in Youth on Board:

• Have helped establish city commissions for young people (run by youth)
• Support young people to serve on boards of non-profits and school committees
• Encourage foundations to create committees of young people who help make funding decisions
• Have provided coaching to a group of young people to negotiate with architects who were designing their high school

In general, they help young people have a voice in any decision that affects their lives.

 In the example above, an entire organization's goal is to empower young people to lead. However, as individuals, we can also act on a one-to-one basis to support people to lead.

Once you have successfully promoted someone into a leadership position, they will need you as much as ever. Everyone needs support when they are in a leadership role, especially people who don't have a lot of experience. For example, you may need to listen to a leader as she thinks through the challenges she confronts. Or you may need to work with group members to teach them how to support their leader, or overcome any prejudices they may have about her.

Support different groups on the issues that affect them most directly.

This one is rather obvious--help people where they need help. If you ask a few questions or pay attention for a short time you can usually figure out what the key issues are for any group and then you can decide to offer assistance. A group may need short-term emergency aid, information about drug prevention, economic development consulting, or other kinds of help.

In the Uptown neighborhood in Chicago, where economic development is a key issue, a few non-profit organizations worked together to help Vietnamese immigrants become entrepreneurs. The Uptown Center Hull House and St. Augustine College with the Vietnamese Association of Illinois set up bilingual programs to teach Vietnamese immigrants skills in bookkeeping, marketing, licensing, customer relations, how to get a bank loan, and how to set up a business plan. The results have been highly successful. For example, Hero Phan went through the program and started Saigon Auto Repair which attracts customers from the Northside of Chicago and some suburbs. He started with plenty of experience as an auto mechanic, but had no experience operating a business in the U.S. The program to support entrepreneurs provided Phan with the skills he needed to make a go of it.

Support groups to gain power in their communities.

One of the most effective ways of being an ally is lending your financial, technical, or human resources to help groups gain long-term power in their communities. This may mean consulting with groups to help them write grants which will enable them to be independent, it may mean supporting a cultural group to gain more power in local politics, or in may mean helping people gain more control over their housing.

In Minneapolis, a Hmong and Black neighborhood was displaced by a city-sponsored market-value housing and business development. The families were given some compensation, but were relocated throughout Minneapolis, thus dispersing their cultural communities. A Minneapolis group is organizing to support the Hmong and Black families to help them obtain the right to buy or rent housing in their redeveloped neighborhood.

Help bring isolated or marginalized groups into the center of activity: don't leave groups isolated.

Every group should have contact with the larger community. When groups become isolated, they often need help. For example, young people who belong to gangs need help to become engaged in the mainstream community, so they don't get involved with drugs, violence, or other crimes. Also, sometimes new immigrant groups need to be welcomed and encouraged to interact and become involved in the larger community. Immigrants may need ESL classes, employment counseling, or relationships with people outside their group.

As allies we need to bring people and groups into the middle of things. Here is an example of helping a group with a disability become less isolated:

At Kinzie school in Chicago, a group of teachers and parents worked over a period of years to integrate a group of deaf students into mainstream classes with hearing students. The school started out with two entirely segregated programs. Slowly teachers started bringing the children together. Together, hearing and deaf students learned dance, studied drama, did mural painting, and participated in sports. Then, the hearing students began to learn how to sign. Eventually, the classrooms became fully integrated.

Work to change the system-wide problems that may be root causes of inequality and oppression.

People often direct their anger at groups different from themselves, rather than confront the inequalities in our government, economic, and other social systems which often cause much of their anger. It is easier to be angry at groups of people's scapegoating them--than it is to fix a system that doesn't work. Anger is a great motivator for action, but it's important that our anger and our actions are directed at the real causes of problems, which often lie outside of the target groups. Using the "But Why?" technique can help allies get to the root causes of what's going on.

How can an ally make a difference? You can start by looking carefully at how institutions and organizations affect those who are the disempowered, or who may be different from you. Your first step might be to vote for politicians, laws, ordinances, or policies that create conditions that promote tolerance, empower the disadvantaged, and enhance interaction among diverse groups.

Let's look at a couple of examples. Why are poor people poor? Is it because they are lazy? Or is one reason because they can't get the training that will help them obtain better employment? If that's the case, why is training not more accessible to them? Or if minority businesspeople can't afford to open a retail store in their neighborhood, is it because they don't know how to run a business, or is it because they can't get a business loan?

In both cases, some of the members of the disenfranchised group may be advocating for systems change themselves. Helpful changes might make it easier for a low-income person who lacks transportation to get a ride to appropriate training, or the changes might focus on a bank's lending practices. Whatever the change might be, it will be in those institutions and organizations that have a lot of influence and power over the target group, but which the target group has little influence with. And this is where allies often are able to step in, and use their power where it will do the most good, striking at the root causes of problems.

Get help: train other people to be allies.

As an individual you can accomplish a lot as an ally, but there are some bigger goals you can't accomplish by yourself. You can be much more effective if you work in a group with others. For example, you can organize a group that is committed to thinking about race issues and working to end racism. In such a group you can support each other to become effective allies and set goals to work together to handle racism in your community and make the community more aware of race issues.

Develop alliances among groups.

Being an ally is not usually a one-way relationship. It is more often reciprocal and can involve more groups than two. Partnerships and coalitions between Blacks and Jews, laborers and people on welfare, youth and elders, Latinos and Asians, and many more will make our communities stronger. Being an ally is an empowering role.

As you become an ally to an individual or group, invite them to become an ally to you or your group. As you do so, you will probably need to teach people how to be effective allies for you. Don't blame people if they don't already know how, or if they make mistakes--blaming people often scares them away. Learning to be an ally takes time.

In Summary

As we all learn how to be more committed and caring to each other, we will build a strong foundation for change in our communities. The stronger the trust and commitment people have, as individuals and between groups, the more effective they will be in uniting around important issues.

James Banks, a multicultural educator, says that living in a diverse society requires that we "know, care, and act." In other words, we need to learn about people and understand their issues, care about people with our hearts, and take the action necessary to make sure that people are treated well and that justice is done. That is, basically, what an ally does.

We all have the capacity to care deeply about each other. We all have the capacity to learn and take action. Why wait for someone else to invite you or give you permission to take the initiative? You can make a difference to people throughout your community. You can be an ally to anyone at any time, as an individual, or as a member of an organization. It will make a big difference, in the short and long run.

___ An ally is any person who supports, empowers, or stands up for another person or a group of people.

___ People from targeted or oppressed groups are systematically bombarded by society with discrimination and are in need of support from those people who are not targeted in the same ways.

___ There are many different ways to be an ally, but, overall, being an ally helps build stronger communities.

___ Allies do not fulfill this role due to feelings of guilt or superiority.

___ Being an effective ally means looking at the history of the culture that needs allies.

___ Allies take a stand when groups are targeted with unjust treatment.

___Allies promote leadership in diverse groups and train others to be allies.

Tool 1: #TalkAboutTrayvon: A Toolkit for White People

#TalkAboutTrayvon: A Toolkit for White People is a digital toolkit containing sample content for Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, as well as images to share with your networks to continue the conversation about the serious implications of anti-Blackness and prejudicial policing and legislation on black people. 

• Why is identifying similarities, differences, and assets important?

• How can opportunities to identify similarities, differences, and assets be created in your community?

• How do you initiate a process to help individuals from different groups find common ground and share their assets?

• What types of events can you coordinate to celebrate the community's diversity and assets?

• What activities can you conduct to educate people about conditions and forces that help shape a group's identity and current situation?

• What are the challenges that you should be aware of and how can the challenges be overcome?

Why is identifying similarities, differences, and assets important?

"They are always speaking in a different language. I don't understand them. What could I possibly have in common with them?"

"We all care about our children, no matter where we come from. I don't have a problem getting an appointment with the school principal. Why should you?"

"There is a high rate of alcohol abuse among Latino men. It's because they like to hang out and do nothing."

Have you heard these comments before? They typify the perceptions that people have about others because they assume that they are different or similar.

If we assume that we are different because of our culture, religion, sexual orientation, or ethnicity, we may end up perpetuating stereotypes. But if we focus only on our similarities, we risk ignoring the differences that make our groups special and that are important to us. And if we look only at what is wrong with someone else's group based on what we think is right and wrong, we are ignoring their strengths and values. This section will provide you with guidance on how to create opportunities to help members of different ethnic and cultural groups find common ground, respect their differences, and appreciate their strengths.

Let's consider an effort to bridge differences between African American residents and Korean merchants in a neighborhood. If the effort focuses only on helping both groups understand their cultural traditions (e.g., wedding rituals, celebration of a newborn), we leave the effort with a better understanding of why Koreans and African Americans do what they do, but knowing still that they are different. The next time we meet another Korean family, we may assume that they are typical of any Korean family and without realizing it, expect them to behave a certain way.

If the effort focuses only on helping both groups understand their similarities, then the initial gap between them may actually appear smaller. For example, Koreans and African Americans consider "family" not just to be the immediate family, but also the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We leave the effort with a better understanding that Koreans and African Americans share similar values but not fully realizing that a Korean may have an easier time getting a job than an African American due to institutionalized racism.

If the effort focuses only on what is wrong with the two groups, for example, African American children are at risk because they don't have enough male role models or Korean children are at risk because they are caught between the traditional and the American worlds, then we leave the effort with little understanding about the assets of these two groups. Consequently, we might try to force these communities into a mold that is not right for them.

• Interact and develop trust, friendliness, warmth, and empathy
• See what they have in common as members of the same community and as hardworking individuals who want a better life for their children
• Reduce the myths about each other's groups
• Learn about the things that shape a person's life and cause differences among groups, especially differences related to political power and socioeconomic status
• Minimize the external influences that perpetuate stereotypes based on physical traits and other qualities

Keep in mind though that helping people to see their similarities, differences, and assets is only one step in the community building process. Unless this process is linked to actions that change the behaviors of groups of people and institutions, change will only occur at the individual level.

How can opportunities to identify similarities, differences, and assets be created in your community?

Think of your approach as a multi-prong strategy with activities that allow people to share their similarities and to learn about the differences.

One example may be to design a discussion process to allow people to share their similarities, coordinate events that celebrate diversity, AND design a public education campaign to educate people about conditions that help shape a group's identity and current situation.

Build on issues that you know affect everyone in the community, such as healthy children, safer streets, clean parks, elderly care, or more recreational centers. Use these issues to create a common goal toward which everyone can work.

Identify the individuals who need to be engaged from each sector of the community that you are trying to build. If you are trying to build a community that has diverse ethnic groups, be sure that each group is included. If you are trying to build a community between people with different sexual orientations, be sure to include all of them.

Don't let someone from a particular group be an after-thought and invite that person after the second meeting has occurred. That person may think that they were secondary to the rest of the participants. If a key person from a particularly important group has not yet been identified or cannot make the first meeting, it may be wise to delay the meeting.

Additionally, adding a new person after the group has already met could threaten the trust and relationship-building that the group starts to have among its members. If it is difficult for you to decline a new person because this person is critical or a current member of the group insists on bringing a friend, make sure that you take the time to ask the group permission and to orient the new person before the next meeting.

When scheduling the first meeting or discussion, be sensitive to people's schedules and traditions. For example, if you are trying to engage the Muslim community and it happens to be the month of Ramadan, schedule your meetings after they break their fast, or build in a break for them to say a prayer before they can eat. Once you have everyone at the first meeting, you can check future meeting schedules with them.

Pay attention to the meeting location, and make sure that it is not a location that is traditionally perceived as exclusive or representative of certain groups.

How do you initiate a process to help individuals from different groups find common ground and share their assets?

Find a phrase that appeals to all the groups in your community. For example, everyone is likely to want to have "better communities" or "a better quality of life."

At the first meeting, build in some informal social time or structured icebreakers before "getting down to business." For example, you could ask each person how and where they got their names. This exercise will help people learn to pronounce one another's names correctly (e.g., names of people from India, Thailand, Vietnam, Iran, Ethiopia, etc.). It will also be rich exchange as people learn about the value and meaning behind each name.

Then select a phrase or term and ask each person to describe the meaning of the selected phrase (e.g., healthy community) to him/her. Here is a list of questions that can be used to facilitate the discussions. Not all the questions can or should be asked or answered in the first discussion, but the facilitator needs to be very strategic in developing discussion guides and agendas that build on the previous discussion.

Through these discussions, the assets of each group will become evident. For instance, a Latino resident may describe how her church is an existing resource because it coordinates activities to help Latino women develop English and other professional skills. This church and the trained women become assets for the community.

Facilitation questions:

• What does "community" mean to you? You can also use visual aids and ask the participants to draw a picture of their idea of a community. (This information will help show the participants how much they have in common in terms of their aspirations for a better place to live.)
• Where do you see yourself in the community? What role do you think you play in the community? (This information will help indicate how each person and the group they belong to contributes to the community.)
• How does your community reflect and not reflect your idea of a community? (This information will help participants learn about each person's perception of the community they live in, and how and why the community meets or does not meet their expectations)
• What do you think needs to happen in order for the community to be better for you and your family? (This information will help participants learn about the changes that each person wants to see in the community.)
• What existing cultural resources, assets, activities, or structures can you build on to make this the community you want? (This information will help identify the strengths of the community, assets of each group, and to recognize previous and current efforts to strengthen the community.)
• What is missing in the community? Why? And what can you do individually and together to make the changes happen? (This information will help identify needs and to plan action steps that individuals and their groups can take individually and collectively.)

As one dialogue progresses and you learn about how you could improve it, you could start another dialogue with a new group of people. You could ask the participants in one dialogue to identify two other leaders or friends to join a new dialogue.

What types of events can you coordinate to celebrate the community's diversity?

At the same time that you are carrying out a process to help individuals find common ground, you can also plan events that celebrate the community's diversity. You could ask the individuals in the dialogues to help plan these events. These events should be open to everyone in the community. These events will also help to highlight the assets of each group in the community.

Festivals and important occasions are useful subjects for learning about and celebrating different groups' traditions. For instance, you could put together a calendar of new year festivities that each major racial, ethnic, and cultural group in the community celebrates.

You could then work with the local public library and other public facilities (e.g., YMCA, community center, city hall) to hang decorative items and post information about the new year event, and work with the particular group to plan one activity about its traditions during its new year celebration.

Another way to celebrate the community's diversity is to intentionally acknowledge and appreciate traditions that tend to be overshadowed by historically dominant festivities. For example, during Christmas season, plan events that also celebrate Kwanzaa and Hanukkah.

Things paired with primary reinforcers such as food can also take on reinforcing value themselves. Many groups can use the same ingredients and produce different dishes. These dishes are a form of diversity that is non-threatening and typically welcomed by everyone. One idea is to do research on a particular ingredient and then ask each group to share information and to demonstrate how it uses that ingredient.

Find out how each group celebrates, commemorates, or grieves over significant events in their history and culture. Take one common subject (e.g., birth, death, independence day, war, etc.), educate the community about the meaning and value of the related events, and then share the practices with everyone. Publicize the information and the events.

Some communities make a point of celebrating Black History month, Asian/Pacific Islander month, or Hispanic month as way to promote and appreciate different cultures. There is nothing wrong with this approach, but we must remember that appreciating different groups should be a constant practice and not just during certain times in the year. It is better to have different events for all the major groups in your community throughout the year rather than concentrate them during certain months only.

What do you currently do in your community to celebrate diversity? When do the events usually occur? How can you plan it so that the events happen on a regular basis throughout the year?

Initial questions to guide the planning of events to celebrate diversity include:

• What are the major celebrations and events in your culture?
• What do people in your culture do on that day/week/month?
• What would you like to share with the rest of the community about that celebration or event?
• Are there similar celebrations and events by the other groups in the community?

What activities can you conduct to educate people about conditions and forces that help shape a group's identity and current situation?

Activities to educate people about conditions and forces that help shape a group's identity and current situation can be conducted in small group settings or for the community-at-large (e.g., a public education campaign). These activities should also be conducted at the same time as the dialogues to identify common ground and the events to celebrate diversity. The main purpose of these activities is to help diverse groups understand the history, oppression, and injustice that form the basis for why groups are treated differently.

Are groups treated differently in your community? What quality or qualities separate groups from one another?

Visual cues, such as images of enslaved Black people, Chinese railroad workers, or mosques could be used to prompt discussion among a small diverse group. Members could be asked to describe what the images mean to them. Someone knowledgeable about the history of the image could be invited to share the information with the group.

Another possibility is to select a significant symbol in the community (e.g., statue of a prominent person in front of city hall, name of a school, historical buildings) and ask each person to describe what that symbol means to him or her. This is a particularly useful exercise for newcomers in a community (e.g., refugees from Laos) to learn about the history of their new residence, and for long-time residents (e.g., African Americans and European Americans who have lived in the community for generations) to have a role in welcoming the newcomers.

Public education campaigns can be a useful strategy to raise the community's awareness about conditions that helped shape a group's identity and current situation. In such campaigns, use research data (e.g., cite statistical evidence about the tax contributions of immigrants to the U.S. economy to dispel myths about the large number of undocumented immigrants that are benefiting from public monies) and stories from actual residents (e.g., how an immigrant in the community started a small business that is now a source of employment for local residents) to make the point.

Examples of ideas for a public education campaign include:

• A series of articles in the local newspaper about the plight of a group of refugees who recently resettled in the community
• A series of articles about health disparities between African Americans and European Americans and the possible reasons for the gap
• Table tents (e.g., for restaurants) and posters that celebrate the community's diversity
• Planned trips to different faith institutions in the community and discussions about different religious symbols and practices
• Planned and facilitated discussions in schools, block associations, chambers of commerce, and other community settings about topics such as institutionalized racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and other forms of discrimination

At the end of each article or in the table tents and posters, include a tear-out slip so that individuals interested in participating in your community building effort can send you their contact information. This way, you could expand the circle of people who want to do something about the growing diversity of their community and, at the same time, develop a list of potential volunteers. Postcards could be distributed at the end of discussions and field trips for the same purpose.

What are the challenges that you should be aware of and how can the challenges be overcome?

People could have had positive or negative experiences in the past with processes to get to know each other, build coalitions, or break down group barriers. For example, the Latino administrators in a school may have tried to work with Vietnamese parents in the past through a local Vietnamese organization. The attempt failed because of cultural barriers in communication style. Consequently, the two groups experienced negative feelings about each other.

Do your homework. Find out which individuals or groups have tried to work together before and what were their experiences. Interview key leaders, ask them what would encourage people to work together again or for the first time.

These group processes, particularly during discussions about power differences, could themselves create tension and conflicts. For example, a Jewish man may feel offended that he is perceived to have economic power because the stereotype of Jews is that they know how to make and save money.

The facilitator and the participants must agree on ground rules for discussion and for handling situations when someone may be offended, hurt, or angered. For example, someone can say out loud, "ouch," or hold up an object.

Sometimes, groups tend to compare themselves based on the degree to which they have been oppressed. For example, members of the "untouchable caste" in India may feel that they have suffered oppression of the worst kind because they were discriminated against by people of their own nationality and ethnicity. African Americans may feel that there was no worse oppression than slavery.

The facilitator should call out this behavior when they see it, let the groups know that all forms of oppression are wrong. Help the groups understand that their collective effort could help reduce discrimination of all kinds and not just against one particular group.

It is difficult to link the process of getting to know one another to taking action. The strategy or process must ensure that such a link is intentionally created during the planning stage and not as an afterthought. For example, an African American leader once said to a group of funders and program managers that the African American community is tired of sitting around and talking. They know what they want and all they need is some funds to carry out their actions.

Be explicit about why you are asking people to the table, especially what is in it for them and what is the desired outcome.

There has to be adequate time, resources, knowledge, and skills to support the process. Initiating the process without ensuring enough support to complete it could create more harm than good. For example, one organization put a lot of upfront effort and resources into establishing a group to deal with the misrepresentation of immigrants in the media. This process got the group members all fired up, but by the time they developed the action steps, there was no more money to support the steps. This created a lot of frustration and increased the reluctance of this group to get involved in another effort in the future.

Take the time to develop a budget and a step-by-step action plan. This plan should be guided by the amount of resources available and reasonably projected. To implement the plan work in phases if you have to and evaluate process and affirm future actions at the end of each phase.

In Summary

Effort must be made and opportunities created to help members of different racial groups, and cultural groups to learn about, acknowledge, and respect their similarities, differences, and assets. If an effort emphasizes only one of these components the participating members will get an incomplete picture of one another and the groups they belong to. If resources are limited, you might want to consider ways to conduct a smaller-scale activity that conveys all the components, rather than a large-scale activity that emphasizes one of the components only.

___ Identifying similarities, differences, and assets are important to community group work,
but this process must be followed up by actions.

___ It is important for communities to hold discussions to find common ground and share their assets.

___ Creating opportunities for people to share their similarities, learn about differences,
and celebrate diversity helps bring communities together.

___ Communities can celebrate diversity by recognizing traditions and events of all cultures and discussing how to
build on them.

___ Public education seminars and events can educate people about a group or culture's identity
and current situation.

___ Community should discuss the challenges of creating diverse opportunities and
how to overcome them.

Example: Bridging the Divides in Our Communities and in Our Nation

 

The Hands Across the Hills experience initiated in the small community of Leverett, Massachusetts, with Letcher County Kentucky was powerful and positive. They listened to each other, learned from each other, and actually left loving each other. It gave them hope that the divisions in this country can be overcome.

A local neighborhood found itself in the middle of a drastic demographic shift. Its residents, who used to be primarily people of European descent, is now 30% Black and 10% Hispanic. The neighborhood association, which was used to operating within a European cultural context, is struggling with engaging the new residents. The association's board has put ads in the local newspaper about the association's activities, posted announcements about meeting times, and mailed out newsletters. Yet, its membership has not increased nor diversified.

The new residents view the neighborhood association as an organization that is run by and serves the European American residents only. The association has not acknowledged or welcomed the new residents in any of its materials. It has made no effort to contact the Black and Hispanic leaders and to invite them to join the neighborhood association. It was continuing to operate the way it has always operated without realizing that the newcomers have their own forms of social organization and ways to support their members. In order for the neighborhood association to engage the newcomers, it had to learn about the social organization and leadership of the new groups and ways to communicate with them in a culturally appropriate manner.

Each organization and its individual members should keep in mind that change is not easy for humans. Many of us resist it and are dragged into the process kicking and screaming -- and that makes it difficult for everyone else. But when we learn to understand others we improve our chances of making things better in an increasingly multicultural world. There will be situations where people can be right on both sides of an issue or belief -- sometimes there may not be one right answer to a question. It is essential to approach the change process knowing that compromise, patience, and understanding must be a central theme. This leads us to the beginning of building culturally competent organizations.

What is a culturally competent organization?

What is "culture?"

Culture is defined as the shared traditions, beliefs, customs, history, folklore, and institutions of a group of people. Culture is shared by people of the same ethnicity, language, nationality, or religion. It's a system of rules that are the base of what we are and affect how we express ourselves as part of a group and as individuals.

We all develop in some type of culture. Our environment determines what we learn, how we learn it, and the rules for living with others. These rules are transmitted from one generation to the next and are often adapted to the times and locale. The rules are absorbed by children as they develop, whether through word-of-mouth or just "osmosis."

Organizations have a "culture" of policies, procedures, programs, and processes, and incorporate certain values, beliefs, assumptions, and customs. Organizational cultures largely echo mainstream culture in its sense of time orientation, perception, and use of time. An organizational culture may not lend itself to cultural competence, so that's where skill building comes in. A culturally competent organization brings together knowledge about different groups of people -- and transforms it into standards, policies, and practices that make everything work.

What is the difference between "cultural knowledge," "cultural awareness," "cultural sensitivity," and "cultural competence?"

The Dudley Street Neighborhood Initiative in Roxbury, Massachusetts, is an example of a culturally-competent organization (The President's Initiative on Race, 1999). Under the direction of a community-elected board that reflects the diversity of the community, the organization has been able to create an inclusive community that promotes equity and social justice for all its residents.

There are four levels to these concepts:

• "Cultural knowledge" means that you know about some cultural characteristics, history, values, beliefs, and behaviors of another ethnic or cultural group.
• "Cultural awareness" is the next stage of understanding other groups -- being open to the idea of changing cultural attitudes.
• "Cultural sensitivity" is knowing that differences exist between cultures, but not assigning values to the differences (better or worse, right or wrong). Clashes on this point can easily occur, especially if a custom or belief in question goes against the idea of multiculturalism. Internal conflict (intrapersonal, interpersonal, and organizational) is likely to occur at times over this issue. Conflict won't always be easy to manage, but it can be made easier if everyone is mindful of the organizational goals.
• "Cultural competence" brings together the previous stages -- and adds operational effectiveness. A culturally competent organization has the capacity to bring into its system many different behaviors, attitudes, and policies and work effectively in cross-cultural settings to produce better outcomes.

Cultural competence is non-threatening because it acknowledges and validates who people are. By focusing on the organization's culture, it removes the need to place blame and assume guilt. Since becoming culturally competent focuses on the "how-to" of aligning policies and practices with goals, everyone is involved in the process. This "inside-out" model relieves the outsiders (or excluded groups) from the responsibility of doing all the adapting.

A Cultural Competence Model: 5 Essential Principles

1. Valuing diversity

Valuing diversity means accepting and respecting differences between and within cultures. We often presume that a common culture is shared between members of racial, linguistic, and religious groups, but this may not be true. A group might share historical and geographical experiences, but individuals may share only physical appearance, language, or spiritual beliefs. Our cultural assumptions can lead us to wrong conclusions. As people move to new areas and meld with other cultures it creates a kaleidoscope of subcultures within racial groups. Gender, locale, and socioeconomic status can sometimes be more powerful than racial factors. For example, a Vietnamese couple may immigrate to America, and raise their children in a suburban area. As a result, the children may identify much more with European American popular culture than the Vietnamese culture of their parents. Understanding situations such as this can lead to a better understanding of the complexity of diversity.

2. Conducting cultural self-assessment

The most important actions to be conscious of are usually the ones we take for granted. For instance, physical distance during social interactions varies by culture. If a staff member of an organization routinely touches the arm of whomever she is talking to, this might be misread in some cultures. Such miscommunication can be avoided if the organization does cultural self-assessment. Each organization has a culture. Surveys and discussion can help members become more aware of the organization's way of doing things and can help it adjust to other cultures. This assessment is a continuing process towards cultural competence.

3. Understanding the dynamics of difference

Many factors can affect cross-cultural interactions. Bias due to historical cultural experiences can explain some current attitudes. For example, indigenous peoples and Black folx, among other groups, have experienced discrimination and unfair treatment from dominant cultures. Mistrust coming out of these experiences may be passed on to the next generations of these groups, but ignored within the dominant culture. An oppressed group may feel mistrust toward the dominant culture, but members of the dominant culture may be unaware of it or not understand it. Organizations planning to interact with varying cultures need awareness of such a dynamic if they want to be effective. Remember that organizations can be intergenerational. A group that worked with an ineffective, culturally incompetent organization 15 years ago, may not know that the group has the same name but is in a "second life" -- a new staff, a new board, and a new approach to working with the community. This means the organization has some work to do, and must be aware of this dynamic in order to be newly effective. Being proactive rather than reactive about change produces a synergistic organization. Anticipating change is a basic dynamic in the development of synergy. Synergy is more than just teamwork. It's the magic that happens when people are truly working together, understanding one another deeply, and in total agreement about their beliefs and goals, at least as far as their work goes. Synergy happens only if people treat each other with respect and effectively communicate with each other.

4. Institutionalizing cultural knowledge

Cultural knowledge should be integrated into every facet of an organization. Staff must be trained and be able to effectively utilize knowledge gained. Policies should be responsive to cultural diversity. Program materials should reflect positive images of all cultures.

5. Adapting to diversity

Values, behaviors, attitudes, practices, policies, and structures that make it possible for cross-cultural communication guide a culturally competent organization. When you recognize, respect, and value all cultures and integrate those values into the system, culturally competent organizations can meet the needs of diverse groups.

What are the types of diversity in an organization?

There are all types of diversity in an organization. However, some types of diversity have a larger impact on organizations than others because they have historical significance. These types of diversity are associated with a history of inequity and injustice where not every person or group has been treated equally because of them. These types of diversity include:

• Marginalized or socially excluded groups
• Nationality
• Ethnicity
• Native language
• Race
• Gender
• Sexual orientation
• Social class
• Spiritual beliefs and practice
• Physical and mental ability

Other types of diversity that should be considered, but tend to be less salient include:

• Age
• Educational status
• Family status
• Health status
• Style
• Skills and talents
• Customs
• Ideas
• Military experience
• National, regional, or other geographical area
• Ownership of property
• Occupational status
• Socioeconomic status

Why is it important to be culturally competent?

Diversity is reality. We are all connected through the increasing globalization of communications, trade, and labor practices. Changes in one part of the world affect people everywhere. Considering our increasing diversity and interconnected problems, working together seems to be the best strategy for accomplishing our goals. Because social and economic change is coming faster and faster, organizations are understanding the need for cultural competence. We're realizing that if we don't improve our skills we're asking for organizational and cultural gridlock.

Studies show that new entrants to the workforce and communities increasingly will be people of color, immigrants, and white women because of differential birth rates and immigration patterns.

There are many benefits to diversity, such as the rich resource of alternative ideas for how to do things, the opportunity for contact with people from all cultures and nationalities that are living in your community, the aid in strategizing quick response to environmental change, and a source for hope and success in managing our work and survival.

Benefits of building an organization's cultural competence are:

• Increases respect and mutual understanding among those involved.
• Increases creativity in problem-solving through new perspectives, ideas, and strategies.
• Decreases unwanted surprises that might slow progress.
• Increases participation and involvement of other cultural groups.
• Increases trust and cooperation.
• Helps overcome fear of mistakes, competition, or conflict. For instance, by understanding and accepting many cultures, everyone is more likely to feel more comfortable in general and less likely to feel the urge to look over their shoulders to be sure they are being "appropriate" in majority terms.
• Promotes inclusion and equality.

When does an organization need to become culturally competent?

An organization needs to become culturally competent when there is a problem or crisis, a shared vision, and a desired outcome.

An organization is ready to become culturally competent when groups and potential leaders that will be collaborating have been identified, the needs of the cultural groups are identified, the organization knows what was done before and how it affected the groups involved, and the organization is open to learning and adapting to better fit current needs.

How do you create a culturally competent organization?

Indicators of cultural competence:

• Recognizing the power and influence of culture, and that most organizations were constructed according to white supremacist culture
• Understanding how each of our backgrounds affects our responses to others
• Not assuming that all members of cultural groups share the same beliefs and practices
• Acknowledging how past experiences affect present interactions
• Building on the strengths and resources of each culture in an organization
• Allocating resources for leadership and staff development in the area of cultural awareness, sensitivity, and understanding
• Actively eliminating prejudice in policies and practices
• Willing to share power among leaders of different cultural backgrounds
• Evaluating the organization's cultural competence on a regular basis

Cultural differences can either help or hurt the way an organization functions. Creating multicultural organizations makes us deal with differences and use them to strengthen our efforts. To reach these goals you need a plan for action.

Action Steps for Achieving Cultural Competence

How do you start this process? If achieving cultural competence is a top-down organizational mandate, some would say it's less likely to happen. But support from the top should be part of it. Getting everyone to "buy in" can be aided with a committee representing all levels in an organization. Such a committee can establish and facilitate the following action steps. If people at all organizational levels are involved more people are likely to be influenced to become more culturally competent. But, the process can be complicated by the fact that some people don't want to be more culturally sensitive or don't understand why the issue is important; be mindful of these realities as the process ensues.

• Develop support for change throughout the organization (who wants change and who doesn't?)
• Identify the cultural groups to be involved (who needs to be involved in the planning, implementation, and reinforcement of the change?)
• Identify barriers to working with the organization (what is currently not working? What will stop you or slow you down?)
• Assess your current level of cultural competence (what knowledge, skills, and resources can you build on? Where are the gaps? )
• Identify the resource needed (how much funding is required to bring about the change? Where can you find the resources?)
• Develop goals and implementation steps and deadlines for achieving them (who can do what, when, and how?).
• Commit to an ongoing evaluation of progress (measuring outcomes) and be willing to respond to change (what does progress and success look like? What are the signs that will tell you that the organization is on the right track?).

How to begin building a multicultural organization

Form a committee.

This Cultural Competence Committee (CCC) within your organization should have representation from policy making, administration, service delivery, and community levels. The committee can serve as the primary governing body for planning, implementing, and evaluating organizational cultural competence.

Write a mission statement.

Be sure that the mission statement commits to cultural competence as an integral part of all of the organization's activities. The CCC should be involved in developing this statement.

Find out what similar organizations have done and develop partnerships.

Don't reinvent the wheel if you don't have to. Other organizations may have already begun the journey toward developing and implementing culturally competent systems. Meet with these organizations, pick their brains, and see if they will continue to work with you to develop your cultural competence. Then adapt the processes and information that are consistent with your needs to your organization.

Use free resources.

Aggressively pursue and use information available from federally funded technical assistance centers that catalog information on cultural competence.

Do a comprehensive cultural competence assessment of your organization.

Determine which instruments best match the needs and interests of your organization. Use the assessment results to develop a long-term plan with measurable goals and objectives to incorporate culturally competent principles, policies, structures, and practices into all aspects of your organization. Among others, this may include changes in your mission statement, policies, procedures, administration, staffing patterns, service delivery practices, outreach, telecommunications and information dissemination systems, and professional development activities.

Find out which cultural groups exist in your community and if they access community services.

What are the cultural, language, racial, and ethnic groups within the area served by your organization? Then find out if these groups access services and if they are satisfied with what they get.

Have a brown bag lunch to get your staff involved in discussion and activities about cultural competence.

The object of this get-together is to get your staff members to think about their attitudes, beliefs, and values related to cultural diversity and cultural competence. Invite a guest speaker.

Ask your personnel about their staff development needs.

Find out what your organization's staff members perceive as their staff development needs with regard to interacting with cultural groups in your area.

 Assign part of your budget to staff development programming in cultural competence.

Analyze your budget to see where there are opportunities for staff development through participation in conferences, workshops, and seminars on cultural competence. Then commit to provide ongoing staff training and support for developing cultural competence.

Keep in mind: When you are asking the staff to come together to discuss their attitudes, beliefs, and values related to cultural diversity and competence, consider an outside expert facilitator. The staff members' comments will typically reflect their exposure to other cultures and their prejudices. Someone might get offended. If hurt feelings, disagreements, or conflicts are unresolved when the meeting is over, the staff members' job performance could be affected.

Include cultural competency requirement in job descriptions.

Cultural competency requirements should be apparent from the beginning of the hiring process. Discuss the importance of cultural awareness and competency with potential employees.

Be sure your facility's location is accessible and respectful of difference.

An organization should be certain that the facility's location, hours, and staffing are accessible to disabled people and that the physical appearance of the facility is respectful of different cultural groups. Be sensitive to the fact that certain seating arrangements or decor might be appropriate or inappropriate depending upon the cultural group. Be aware of communication differences between cultures. For example, in many racial and ethnic groups, elders are highly respected, so it is important to know how to show respect.

Collect resource materials on culturally diverse groups for your staff to use.

There are many free online resources, as well as printed materials. Visit the library and talk with people at similar organizations to learn about resources.

Build a network of natural helpers, community "informants," and other "experts."

They have valuable knowledge of the cultural, linguistic, racial, and ethnic groups served by your organization. Effective organizations must do strategic outreach and membership development. Your organization should set ground rules that maintain a safe and nurturing atmosphere. And the structure and operating procedures that you set should reinforce equity. For example, create leadership opportunities for everyone, especially people of color and women. Your organization should engage in activities that are culturally sensitive or that directly fight bias and domination by the majority culture. Before proceeding, your members should complete

How to manage the dynamics of building culturally competent organizations

Gillian Kaye and Tom Wolff's book, From the Ground Up! Is an excellent source of information about working in diverse organizations.

Vision and context

It can take time and effort for groups with historically negative relationships to trust each other and begin to work together effectively. A common problem is cultural dominance and insensitivity. Frequently, people of color find that when they are in the minority in an organization, they are asked to teach others about their culture, or to explain racism and oppression -- rather than everyone taking an active part in educating themselves. In organizations where white people are the majority, people of color may be expected to conform to white standards and to be bicultural and bilingual. This accommodation takes enormous energy to sustain. Members of a culturally competent organization do not approach fellow members with stereotypical attitudes or generalize about an entire people based on an experience of one person. Involve and include people from all cultures in the process of developing a vision for the organization.

Recruitment and outreach

Include diverse groups of people from your community at the organization's inception. This can ensure that your organization's development reflects many perspectives. It can also minimize real or perceived tokenism, paternalism, and inequality among the people who join later. Recognize that changing the appearance of your membership is only the first step in understanding and respecting all cultures. Develop and use ground rules that establish shared norms, reinforce constructive and respectful conduct, and protect against damaging behavior. Encourage and help people to develop qualities such as patience, empathy, trust, tolerance, and a nonjudgmental attitude.

Diversity training

Become aware of the cultural diversity of the organization. Try to understand all its dimensions and seek the commitment of those involved to nurture cultural diversity. Address the myths, stereotypes, and cultural differences that interfere with the full contribution of members.

Keep in mind:
Diversity trainings are typically one-time events. These trainings alone will not change a staff person's behavior or an organization's practices. It is important to have other strategies that will reinforce and sustain behavioral and policy changes.

Organizational structure and operating procedures

Share the work and share the power. Create systems that ensure equity in voice, responsibility, and visibility for all groups. The usual hierarchy with a group or leader in charge may create a power inequity, so create a decision-making structure in which all cultural groups have a voice at all levels. Find ways to involve everyone using different kinds of meetings, such as dialogue by phone, mail, or e-mail. Structure equal time for different groups to speak at meetings. Develop operational policies and programs that confront and challenge racism, sexism, and other forms of intolerance. Conduct criticism/self-criticism of meetings to build a common set of expectations, values, and operating methods.

Communicating

Communication is the basic tool that the organization can use to unite people. Use inclusive and valuing language and quote diverse sources. Learn and apply the cultural etiquette of your members. Learn to read different nonverbal behaviors. Do not assume common understanding and knowledge of unwritten rules. Prohibit disrespectful name -calling and use of stereotypes. Respect and use personal names. Use humor appropriately -- laugh with each other, not at each other. If humor strikes a sour note, the person bothered should make their feelings known.

Learn to listen for what is being said, and not what you want to hear. Invite others to be part of the discussion. Do not misjudge people because of their accent or grammar. Test for understanding by asking questions to be certain you understand the message. Adapt your communication style to fit the situation -- conflicts sometimes arise simply because of the style of a communication rather than its content.

Tips:

• Some people come from cultures that do not encourage confrontation, self-disclosure, or self-praise. This is especially true in Asian cultures. Be sensitive to these traditions when you consider activities to help people get to know each other or to confront a problem. Allow sufficient time for people from such cultures to feel comfortable.
• In some cultures, it is impolite to refer to someone older than you by his or her name. Check with another person from the same culture with whom you feel comfortable or is of the same age as you.

How to bridge language barriers:

• Arrange for bilingual translators or volunteers for meetings.
• Determine whether meetings will be bilingual. If at least half of the group speaks another language consider breaking into smaller groups with the groups conducted in different languages as needed. If language groups are large enough consider conducting separate meetings with the same agenda and issues covered.
• Be certain that all organization materials are produced in all languages used by organization members.
• Use a multicultural vocabulary with terms and phrases that describe cultural relations as they should be. Be prepared for words to change actions, and actions to change the organization in real ways.

Keep in mind:

Some words can have different meanings and values in different cultures. Words like "action" and "power" in some cultures remind the members of threats from the police, prison camps, war, etc. A word like "asset" typically refers to a house or a bank account. Ask participants to describe the meaning of a word before making any assumptions.

 Understanding "different, but similar"

The members of your organization probably have fewer differences than similarities. An appreciation and acceptance of both commonalities and differences are essential to effective working relationships.

Maintaining the commitment

Your organization will become more connected with the community that it serves if it states publicly that having a diverse work force is a top priority. Continue to re-evaluate the various components that address the awareness, understanding, communication, and nurturing of your culturally diverse organization.

Providing strong leadership

Develop a variety of leadership opportunities and a way for leaders to work together in your organization. Steering committees with different committee chairpersons is a good way to enable many people to function as leaders and encourages the interchange of leadership styles. Include different types of people in leadership positions to further the organization's multicultural vision and values. Cultivate new leadership by helping people gain competence in new areas. These opportunities can be structured in shared tasks and mentoring by pairing up leaders with less experienced people so that skills are transferred and confidence increased.

Providing activities

Integrate aspects of different cultures into all activities, rather than holding isolated "international dinners," for example. Most activities lend themselves to a multicultural approach: social events, sports, street fairs, talent shows, campaigns, neighborhood improvement projects, demonstrations, and lobbying efforts. Consciously develop projects that people from different cultures can work on together. Conduct special activities to educate everyone about different cultural concerns -- e.g. forums, conferences, panels, and organized dialogues. If activities are not attracting a diverse crowd, try running special events geared specifically to different groups, led and organized by representatives of these groups. The organization or community populations should determine the issues and events that they feel are important, so don't assume you know what is best.

In Summary

Building culturally competent organizations means changing how people think about other cultures, how they communicate, and how they operate. It means that the structure, leadership, and activities of an organization must reflect many values, perspectives, styles, and priorities. Changing how an organization looks is only the first step. A culturally competent organization also emphasizes the advantages of cultural diversity, celebrates the contributions of each culture, encourages the positive outcomes of interacting with many cultures, and supports the sharing of power among people from different cultures. To really change, an organization has to commit to continuing programming, evaluation, and the creation of a place that is inclusive of all cultures and celebrates diversity.

___ Culture is defined as the shared traditions, beliefs, customs, history, folklore, and institutions of a group of people.

___ Cultural knowledge is defined as knowing about some cultural characteristics, history, values, beliefs, and behaviors of another ethnic or cultural group.

___ Cultural awareness is being open to the idea of changing cultural attitudes.

___ Cultural sensitivity is knowing that differences exist between cultures, but not assigning values to the differences.

___ Cultural competence means having the capacity to bring into its system many different behaviors, attitudes, and policies and work effectively in cross-cultural settings to produce better outcomes.

___ To become culturally competent, organizations should identify the needs and outcomes required to change.

___ Forming partnerships with similar organizations and using free resources can help facilitate change.

___ Organizational budget and job requirements should address cultural competence.

___ Organizational facilities and resources should respect cultures and educate staff on culture differences.

___ A network of natural helpers can help sustains cultural competence within an organization.

___ Diversity outreach, training, and communication are required to manage a multicultural organization.

Tool #1: Exercise - Building Cultural Competence

Answer each of these questions, and then form small groups for discussion. The questions ask about aspects of culture.
Answer each question for yourself (personally) and then for a local community you may be familiar with.
In the small groups, use your answers to discuss either Option A or Option B.

Option A: Reflect on how you would use your understanding of your culture and that of the local community to establish a relationship with people in the local community.

Option B: Reflect on how you would use your understanding of your culture and that of the local community to design an intervention intended to benefit people in the local community

• What is your self-identity? (e.g. female, Hispanic, professional)
• Who resides in the community served by the organization?
• What historical events have shaped your life experiences?
• What have your life experiences been like? (e.g. success, inequity)
• What is valued? (e.g. respect, responsibility, pride, self-determination, interdependence)
• Valued differences from others?
• What gives you a sense of belonging? (e.g. religion, occupation, history)
• Valued relationships between people, genders, generations?
• Valued religious beliefs?
• What language is used?
• What are important customs?
• Valued emotions?
• Important beliefs for solving problems? (e.g. federal government, local community)
• Valued institutions? (e.g. school, church)
• Important features of family?
• Valued features of marriage?
• Most valued form of social organization?
• Value of formal education?
• Most valued community unit? (e.g. neighborhood, city, county)
• Attitudes about others or outsiders helping to solve problems?
• Attitudes about solving problems myself?
• Most valued help-giving person?
• Economic conditions?

If I cannot answer these questions -- how would I obtain information to understand more about these cultural issues?

Tool #2: Personal Competencies

Be nonjudgmental.

This means shutting down the tendency to view another person in a negative light or viewing them with disfavor.

Be flexible.

This means readjusting quickly and effectively to changing situations.

Be resourceful.

Know how to quickly get the things you need to respond well to any situation.

Personalize observations.

Express your personal feelings, thoughts, ideas, and beliefs in a warmly personal way whether or not they are the same as someone else's. Use "I-messages" rather than "you-messages" (e.g. "I disagree" rather than "You're wrong."). Repeat back what you are hearing in conversation ("Am I hearing you say?"). Listen actively by giving verbal indicators regularly while in conversation ("Uh huh" or "yes.")

Pay attention to your feelings.

Take your feelings seriously and keep in touch with how you feel about what the other person is saying in conversation. You put yourself in better charge of yourself and in better command of the interpersonal situation.

Listen carefully and observe attentively.

This helps increase sensitivity to the whole message and not just what is being said in words.

Assume complexity.

Recognize in an ongoing way that in a culturally diverse environment, perspectives and outcomes are multiple.

Tolerate the stress of uncertainty.

In an overlap with #3, avoid showing irritation or annoyance in a culturally diverse situation.

Have patience.

It's a positive way to respond to stress.

Manage personal biases.

Look beyond your personal view so that you can treat the person with you as an individual.

Keep a sense of humor.

Cultivate an awareness of the absurdity that often is part of differences converging. Avoid taking yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at yourself.

Show respect.

Go out of your way to express in a genuine manner your understanding, honor, and esteem of the person with whom you are dealing.

Show empathy.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. This is critical in the culturally diverse encounter.

Tool #3: Inclusivity Checklist

Use this checklist to measure how prepared your organization is for multicultural work, and to identify areas for improvement. If you cannot check off an item, that may indicate an area for change.

• The leadership of our organization is multiracial and multicultural. (A complication of this issue would be if the target population of an organization is not multiracial or a minority, and with prejudiced attitudes, too. It doesn't mean that multiracial leadership and staff shouldn't be hired, but that they should be prepared for some "hard traveling" for a time. Minority staff members might need to be tough, courageous, and patient, no matter how much support they have.)
• We make special efforts to cultivate new leaders, particularly women and people of color.
• Our mission, operations, and products reflect the contributions of diverse cultural and social groups.
• We are committed to fighting social oppression within the organization and in our work in the community.
• Members of diverse cultural and social groups are full participants in all aspects of our organization's work.
• Speakers from any one group do not dominate meetings.
• All segments of our community are represented in decision making.
• There is sensitivity and awareness regarding different religious and cultural holidays, customs, recreational preferences, and food preferences.
• We communicate clearly, and people of different cultures feel comfortable sharing their opinions and participating in meetings.
• We prohibit the use of stereotypes and prejudicial comments.
• Ethnic, racial, and sexual slurs or jokes are not welcome.

Tool #4: Cultural Diversity Barriers: 5 Assumptions in U.S. Mainstream Culture

There are many barriers to building cultural awareness, cultural sensitivity, and cultural competence in organizations. Awareness of the following themes is key in overcoming cultural barriers.

The United States is a "level playing field" for someone, no matter what his or her culture.

In the U.S. socialization process (and other Western countries) schools and media regularly project institutions as being "color-blind" and present the culture as being fair to everyone (a so-called "level playing field"). The assumption is that if someone doesn't succeed it is because they are lazy or have personal faults -- and that it is the fault of the individual and not the mainstream culture.

Americans don't have a culture.

This is an unconscious norm for mainstream American culture, based on the Wild West pioneer philosophy of the "rugged individual" -- we are "lone rangers" who can self-determine our fate, unaffected by a larger influence. Even though this may be the land of myth and fantasy, many people live there.

If it's different, it's wrong.

This assumption has been referred to as racism, but relates to many "antis", such as anti-Semitism, and to anti-immigrant, anti-Catholic, and anti-non-white biases. The popular belief in the race concept dates back to at least 1600 when Europeans built overseas empires in the Americas, Asia, and Africa. The race concept supported the decimation and impoverishment of the people on these continents.

You shouldn't talk about cultural diversity.

This assumption is based on the policy of "Anglo conformity," which seems ironic in light of the "rugged individual" mindset previously mentioned. Many think that if you talk about cultural differences it perpetuates problems and is "divisive" -- and just brings up problems that are already solved. It also involves the concept of invisibility -- if you don't talk about different groups, they aren't there. This approach included the forced assimilation of many groups including Native Americans and African Americans. This assimilation has brought about a loss of cultural heritage, other than European.

You shouldn't admit to being prejudiced.

This is another age-old approach. If you don't admit to even a perception of prejudice or institutional and system inequities, it supports the idea that life is on a level playing field -- and then you don't have to do anything about it.

Tool #5: Tips for Accessing and Involving People of Color in a Significant Way

(adapted from Telesford, 1994)

Identify community leaders.

These natural leaders can be found in churches, schools, public housing project resident councils, Head Start programs, day care programs, senior citizen centers, teen parent programs, or neighborhood watch organizations.

Respect geographic neighborhood boundaries.

Work with community leaders to identify geographic boundaries that residents respect. While one community might regard its boundaries as extending five or six blocks, a public housing complex may regard the boundaries of its neighborhood as the boundary of the housing facility.

Meeting sites, times, and dates

Hold meetings within each of the identified geographic neighborhoods in a location accessible by walking or public transportation. People may fear muggings after dark, so schedule meetings between 4:30 and 7:00 p.m. if possible. Due to church activities, Sunday is often not a good day for meetings.

Publicity

For those who have them, telephones and regular mail delivery are good methods for publicizing upcoming meetings. For those without those resources, fliers in Laundromats, clinics, churches, schools, grocery stores, public transportation stops, and day care centers are a good idea. Announcements can be made at PTA, church, Head Start, and resident council meetings. Public service announcements can be placed on local radio and television stations. Individuals can be encouraged to spread the word.

Incentives

Publicity and fliers should announce that childcare and food will be provided.

Identification of issues

Ask the people and groups you want to involve what they consider to be the important issues and what they want from an initiative -- don't just assume you know what their issues are and assign issues to them.

Prompt follow-up

Follow up the first meeting with a second meeting within the next month. Do not let time pass or the momentum will be lost. The sooner organization members can address identified issues, the sooner they will develop an appreciation of the group and its investment in success.

Empowerment

It is the challenge of the empowerment process to help participants feel good about themselves and channel positive energy into action that will improve their lives.

Collaboration

Out of the increasing sense of empowerment will hopefully come collaborative working relationships among many cultural groups and participation in community-based decision making.

Tool #6: Culturally Effective Communication

Communication is an essential skill in any cultural competent organization. It is important to identify belief systems of all cultural groups in order to spot blocks to communication.

ETHNOCENTRISM

Inability to accept another culture's world view. ("My way is best.")

DISCRIMINATION

Differential treatment of an individual due to minority status, actual and perceived. ("We just aren't equipped to serve people like that.")

STEREOTYPING

Generalizing about a person while ignoring the presence of individual differences. ("She's like that because she's Asian -- all Asians are nonverbal.")

CULTURAL BLINDNESS

Differences are ignored and one proceeds as though differences do not exist. ("There 's no need to worry about a person's culture -- if you're sensitive you'll do OK.")

CULTURAL IMPOSITION

Belief that everyone should conform to the majority. ("We know what's best for you. If you don't like it you can go elsewhere.")

Concepts for bridging cultural differences (ETHNIC)

• Everyone has a culture.
• Take time to collect relevant cultural information.
• Hold all judgments. Be careful about interpreting culturally different behavior.
• Notice and negotiate differences in understanding.
• Involve cultural resources as appropriate.
• Collaborate to develop objectives and strategies.

 

As our society becomes more culturally diverse, organizations are understanding the need to work with other organizations in order to "turn up the sound," so their voices are heard and their issues will be addressed. This means that individuals and institutions can no longer deny the sometimes uncomfortable realities of cultural diversity. Organizers and activists are realizing that we have to come to grips with our multicultural society, or we won't get anything done. But how do we do that?

One Wisconsin labor activist says, "We want to include communities of color, but we just don't know where to begin. We hold open meetings, but no people of color even show up."

A neighborhood organization member in South Los Angeles, says, "Last year, we decided to move toward organizing in the Latino community for the simple reason that we have a lot of new immigrants from Central America in the neighborhoods. We wanted to make an authentic multicultural organization, but we learned an important lesson -- it doesn't just happen."

Many organizers have begun to come to grips with diversity issues, even though they may not have all the answers. These organizers realize they have to develop new strategies and tactics to attract multicultural interest in their collaborative initiatives. They also know there will be problems to solve if their collaborations are to be effective. This section will discuss how to help organizations collaborate effectively with people of different cultures.

What is multicultural collaboration?

First of all, what's the difference between a coalition, a collaboration, and a multicultural collaboration?

A coalition involves two or more organizations working together around an issue or a common set of interrelated issues that they can't address on their own. The purpose is to harness enough influence and resources to have an impact on an issue beyond the grasp of one group alone. The life of a coalition is usually shorter than the life of the complex issue or issues it faces. When the issue or issues are resolved the coalition disbands and the organizations go their separate ways. Coalition members understand that there will be shared risks, responsibilities, and rewards. The level of commitment is moderate. Diversity in a coalition is a strength as well as a problem because there is often dissension.

A collaboration involves two or more organizations working together on multiple issues and goals in a long-term commitment. This is the highest and most difficult level of working with others, involving formalized organizational relationships. There is a long-term commitment and a focus on a range of issues of wide concern. Turf protection can be high and the ability to let go of control over the direction of the group is critical. Involved organizations share resources (develop, implement, and evaluate programs), establish policy, and jointly conduct educational programs. The core values of collaboration are mutual respect, a valuing of difference, and a high level of trust.

“Turf protection” is guarding what you see as your rightful control over an issue, a funding source, a job function, or other area, even when sharing that control could both make your job easier and make your efforts more effective.

A multicultural collaboration is between two or more groups or organizations, each comprised of members from different cultural backgrounds and orientations (e.g., Latino, Indigenous, White) or with goals or missions oriented to populations with differing cultures (e.g., Black, Asian). The cultural differences among groups may consist of ethnic heritage, values, traditions, languages, history, sense of self, and racial attitudes. Any of these cultural features can become barriers to working together. Unless they become part of the relationship, the collaboration will probably be challenged.

Culture is one of the most powerful forces in our world. It's central to what we see, how we make sense of our world, and how we express ourselves. As people from different cultural groups work together, values sometimes conflict. When we don't understand each other we sometimes react in ways that make a partnership ineffective. Often we're not aware that cultural differences are the root of miscommunication.

In an effective multicultural collaboration, as with any other collaboration, the participants must have a sense of common purpose. But they must consider that different cultural groups may have differing ideas about how leaders are chosen and exercise power, and about how conflict and disagreement should be managed. For example, someone from an American Indian tribe may believe that a leader can be respected only if they are an elder, while this may not be an important factor to someone in another group.

A multicultural collaboration requires a plan, lots of patience, and determination to confront old attitudes in new ways by pulling in partners usually not involved. In order for a multicultural collaboration to be effective, the groups involved must overcome differences to promote a unified effort. Because of different skill levels and expertise, the collaboration may seem uneven at first. And, initially, participants may come for different reasons. For example, some may have been invited to take on responsibilities others don't want; others may want a scapegoat in case things don't work. But if the focus is on the common goal, shared decision making, defined roles, and setting time lines, the organizations involved can make it work.

Why is multicultural collaboration important?

• It gets everyone to the table. Because most groups have some community-wide concerns, it's essential to get them to the same table, uneven or not. According to John Gardner, the biggest problem of having many groups in society is the war of the parts against the whole. Separately they don’t have the power to resolve a problem, but because they are all tied together, one part can hold up the others for ransom -- everything can be frozen if one group's efforts are focused on thwarting another's
• It emphasizes common interests rather than differences. Though it's odd and self-destructive, in-fighting has increased dramatically in recent years. Becoming more aware of our similarities, along with cultural differences, doesn't have to paralyze or divide us. Through common interests we can learn to translate "different from me" and "less than me" into "like me in lots of important ways." As a result "difference" becomes less of a barrier to effectiveness.
• It makes for more effective communication among groups. Understanding how people communicate is the first step toward understanding and respecting each other.
• It enriches everyone's life when there is shared knowledge of others' cultures. Different communication styles reflect philosophies and worldviews that are the foundations of cultures. New understanding gives us a broader view of our world and the opportunity to see a mirror image of ourselves.
• It takes advantage of "strength in numbers." History shows that when groups are organized through common purpose they can wield great power and succeed. Because no one group is responsible for a problem, no one group alone can solve it. Competition among groups doesn't aid survival in today's turbulent world.
• It creates community. As our population becomes more culturally diverse, some cultural groups are experiencing more problems. If we learn to understand and value other cultures and to look at each other as neighbors with similar interests rather than adversaries, we will be more vested in the idea of taking better care of each other. Caring about our neighbors builds a sense of community and unites us in solving community-wide problems.
• It leads to a more just society. Multicultural collaboration can build collective capacity to help make things better, and promote the consensus that it's important to do so. This offers a good chance at solving complex problems in an atmosphere of trust, cooperation, and mutual respect.

When should you commit to multicultural collaboration?

Vicente, a community activist, suggests a way to think about collaborating with people from different cultures: "To me what's important is where do we make connections? Where do our pasts tie in? We all come from agrarian backgrounds at some point in our past that are very rich with folklore, history, oral history, and values."

Another man, Estevan, says, "If I see that you're hurting, that there's something wrong with you, and I can help you out -- why do I have to care about what color of skin you have, what color of eyes you have, or where you come from? In New Mexico we say, 'Mi casa es tu casa.' My house is your house."

The comments above indicate that the human connection can be reason enough to work at overcoming cultural barriers. The following are other significant indicators of when you should commit to multicultural collaboration:

• Those most affected by the problem are not participating in a solution. This could mean that one group (possibly the group in power) needs to commit to improving its cultural understanding and appreciation (its cultural competence) with regard to other groups, in order for those groups to feel welcome.
• There is more at stake than individual organizations, but competing organizations are at each other's throats and coming to unilateral decisions that hurt themselves and others.
• There are problems among many diverse groups that one organization can't solve alone or in a short period of time.
• There are several groups willing to make a long-term commitment to work for a change in thinking and to establish a common language and effective communication.
• Several organizations recognize a bad situation that could get worse if nothing is done.
• There is a desire to identify others involved in the problem and bring them to the table. Everyone at the table will share a vision and be committed to the process of reaching out to new partners, explaining the rationale, and continuing to recruit group members.
• All parties involved are clear about what they are getting into, see the tasks as meaningful work that will make a difference, and are strong stakeholder groups in the community.
• The groups represent every cultural group involved in the problem, are well organized, and are able to speak and act credibly for the groups they represent.
• The leadership of the process is committed to keeping the focus on the goals, keeping stakeholders at the table through periods of frustration and disagreement, acknowledging small successes along the way, and enforcing the group's agreed-upon rules.

It's important not to go blindly into a collaboration. Organizations should be aware of the potential problems and to realize that all collaborations may not be voluntary. Circumstances may place organizations in partnerships they may not have anticipated. For example, competition for increasingly limited funds, federal or state mandates for the establishment of initiatives, and social crises may create non-voluntary collaborations. Forces such as these may turn a step-by-step process of recognition, initiation, structuring, and definition into one giant leap. A giant leap without forethought can lead to a painful fall.

Finally, organizations thinking about collaborating must ask themselves, given the potential problems, if they should collaborate at all. Is it an impossible goal? On the other hand, the problems shouldn't scare anyone off if there's potential to work them out with special effort. There won't be unanimous agreement on everything. That's OK because healthy disagreement can be productive and desirable. At the same time, there may be lots of ways to work together and experience the many rewards gained through building the relationships needed to do the work.

What are some guidelines for multicultural collaboration?

Cultural questions about who we are and how we identify ourselves are at the heart of multicultural collaboration. Consider these guidelines as you confront the communication barriers:

• Learn from generalizations about other cultures and races, but don't use those generalizations to stereotype, write off, or oversimplify your ideas about another person. The best use of a generalization is to add it to your storehouse of knowledge, so that you better understand and appreciate other interesting, multi-faceted human beings.
• Practice, practice, practice. That's the first rule because it's in the doing that we actually get better at cross-cultural communication.
• Don't assume that there is one right way to communicate. Keep questioning your assumptions about the "right way" to communicate. For example, think about your body language; postures that indicate receptivity in one culture might indicate aggressiveness in another.
• Don't assume that breakdowns in communication occur because other people are on the wrong track. Search for ways to make the communication work, rather than searching for whom should receive the blame for the breakdown.
• Listen actively and empathetically. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes, especially when another person's perceptions or ideas are very different from your own. You might need to operate at the edge of your own comfort zone.
• Respect others' choices about whether or not to engage in communication with you. Honor their opinions about what is going on.
• Stop, suspend judgment, and try to look at the situation as an outsider. For example, when you notice blocks or difficulties in working with people, revisit your own beliefs or behaviors that may be holding you back. Also, think about how others view your work relationship and decide on ways you might change your behavior to make them more comfortable. For example, you might be speaking or dressing in a very formal manner. Being more informal in dress and behavior might improve the situation.
• Be prepared for a discussion of the past. Use this as an opportunity to develop an understanding from "the other's" point of view, rather than getting defensive or impatient. Acknowledge historical events that have taken place. Be open to learning more about them. Honest acknowledgment of the mistreatment and oppression that have taken place on the basis of cultural difference is vital for effective communication.
• Be aware of current power imbalances. And be open to hearing each other's perceptions of those imbalances. It's necessary to understand each other and work together.
• Remember that cultural norms may not apply to the behavior of any particular individual. We are all shaped by many factors (ethnic background, family, education, personalities) and are more complicated than any cultural norm could suggest. Check your interpretations if you are uncertain what is meant.
• To journey with fellow travelers we must prepare ourselves for customs and values that differ from ours. We must understand that we each have customs that may seem foreign to others. For example, in the United States, Midwesterners tend to call colleagues by their first name as a sign of friendliness. Yet in many Black communities, respect is shown by using last names and titles. People on the East Coast arch their eyebrows at the suggestion of a seven-thirty breakfast meeting -- nine is the preferred starting time. In the Midwest, however, early meetings are common. American Indian may begin their meetings by sharing food before business gets started. To others, eating before working seems unproductive.

How do you build a multicultural collaboration?

There are three steps to developing any collaboration:

1. Define the setting of the problem
2. Set a direction
3. Implement your plan

Multicultural collaboration requires considerations that may not be involved in other collaborations. There are 6 components in building a multicultural collaboration:

Formulate and state clearly the vision and mission of the collaboration to model the multicultural relationships.

• Make a commitment to create an organizational culture that embraces and grows from diversity. Assemble a multicultural team. A group may not appear to be serious about being multicultural when all staff members are from one group. This helps get across the message that you really mean it when your collaborative says it's committed to involving every group in all phases of the initiative. Practicing the principles you champion builds trust, so lead by example.
• Become aware of what dimensions of cultural diversity exist in your coalition.
• Respect and celebrate the various ethnic, racial, cultural, gender, and other differences in your group. Make the time and create the space for this to occur.
• Cultivate a multicultural atmosphere. Incorporate language, art, music, rituals, and ways of working together that derive from diverse cultures. Have appropriate resources and educational materials available, and encourage people to use them.

Conduct strategic outreach and membership development.

• If possible, include diverse groups at the inception, rather than later. This can ensure that your collaboration's development reflects many perspectives from the very beginning. It can also minimize real or perceived tokenism (e.g., bringing one person of color into a largely white organization and giving her a title with no authority or responsibility, setting her up to look ineffectual and bad), paternalism, and inequality among the people who join later.
• Consciously give priority to increasing diversity. Consider all the different dimensions of diversity when identifying, selecting, and recruiting prospective collaborative members. Set ground rules that maintain a safe and nurturing atmosphere. Plan to invest significantly more up-front time in outreach and follow-up to build trust.
• Tap into networks (yours and others'), and use word-of-mouth and personal references to enhance your credibility. Personal contact is important. Ask if you can go to meetings of existing groups -- faith groups, civic associations, coalitions, wherever people meet. Get on their agenda for a few minutes, and make a personal invitation. Then follow up formal invitations with personal phone calls.
• Recognize that changing the appearance of your membership -- seeing variety -- is only the first step toward attaining an understanding of and respect for people of other cultures.
• Welcome and highlight different sorts of contributions, special skills, and experiences.
• Provide incentives and trade-offs to recruit diverse participants. Be prepared to operate in new ways, to share control, and build trust. Make an ongoing commitment of collaborative resources to issues of importance to the diverse group members.
• Respect the right of member organizations to maintain their own separatism if they wish. Given their own political perspective or stage of organizational development, they may prefer to work strictly on their own, rather than to join a multicultural collaboration. Try to initiate a relationship that might lead to a stronger alliance in the future.
• Develop and use ground rules for your collaborative that establish shared norms, reinforce constructive and respectful conduct, and protect against damaging behavior.
• Encourage or help people to develop qualities such as patience, empathy, trust, tolerance, and a nonjudgmental attitude.

A Los Angeles neighborhood collaborative organization called Action for Grassroots Empowerment and Neighborhood Development Alternatives (AGENDA) did this to aid communication and attract new members. The group generally focused on the Black community in its work. Its staff and organizers were mostly Black. The group wanted to attract Latinos to the collaborative initiative, but when they brought monolingual Spanish-speaking members to the general membership and committee meetings it didn't get them involved. But when a separate organization (Latino Organizing Committee) was formed it brought in 90 new members. At the same time AGENDA began conducting separate educational sessions for Black members to talk about how all low-income communities of color face similar challenges and problems.

The members of all of the groups came together for general membership meetings and selected planning meetings. An interpreter sitting in one part of the room with Spanish-speaking members provided translation. AGENDA also planned to add diversity training to its programs. The separate initiation groups enabled the members to get past initial resentment and see the larger interest in uniting minority groups, with the long-range plan of merging the groups after recruiting and educating more members about the initiative.

Establish structures and operating procedures that reinforce equity.

• Create a decision-making structure in which all cultural groups and genders have a recognized voice, and regularly participate in high-level decision making.
• Make sure that staff and board reflect and represent the community in which you operate. Invite input from a representative group of participants, if not all of them, in the design of any event. Use their input in noticeable ways, so that they can see their "fingerprints" on the project.
• Find ways to involve everyone. Use different kinds of meetings, committees, and dialogue by phone, mail, or e-mail as means of including everyone in as active a role, or as informed a position as they want. Give people multiple opportunities to participate.
• Make sure that your commitment to multiculturalism translates into the public image of the coalition. When running meetings or presentations, be sure the presenters represent the diversity of your collaborative, and not just as tokens, but as substantial participants and leaders.
• Structure equal time for different groups to speak at meetings.
• Develop operational policies and programs that confront and challenge racism, sexism, and other forms of prejudice.
• Conduct reviews of meetings that articulate and build a common set of expectations, values, and operating methods for coalition functioning.

Practice new and various modes of communication and special support.

Find out if anyone needs special support to participate effectively. In any invitations to meetings or events (which could be written in more than one language) or follow-up conversations, ask if there is a need for translators, translated materials, sign language interpreters for the deaf, large-print materials, or audio versions of materials. Many groups automatically communicate through writing and speaking in English. This does not take into account language differences that make it hard for people to understand information or participate equally in discussions and decision making. Special efforts to communicate in multiple languages may be required in order to ensure the full participation of a diverse membership.

 A Providence, Rhode Island community group used this as an icebreaker: Group members were split into small groups. Latino members might be paired with English speakers, with each required to learn a phrase in the other's language. At first there was frustration on the part of Black members at not being able to communicate directly, but this subsided gradually as feelings of mutual support and community grew.

• Use inclusive and valuing language, quote diverse sources, and readily adapt to differences in communication styles.
• Learn and apply the cultural etiquette of your members.
• Avoid false praise or other forms of insincere communication.
• Learn to read different nonverbal behaviors, and interpret them as part of the dialogue.
• Make sure that everyone understands words and references that are used. Do not assume common understanding and knowledge of unwritten rules of culture. Spell things out and answer questions so that everyone is up to speed.
• Prohibit disrespectful name-calling and use of stereotypes. Respect and use personal names.
• Use humor appropriately and carefully. Don't laugh at each other, but with each other. If someone makes an insulting joke or comment, the person it was addressed to should say it was hurtful. This alerts the group to their discomfort and signals that the joke was not funny. Never let this slide by. At a minimum, take the joker aside and alert them to the hurt feelings.
• Bridge language barriers in various ways.

Create leadership opportunities for everyone, especially minorities and women.

• Develop a variety of leadership positions and a mechanism for leaders to work together, such as a steering committee composed of different committee chairpersons. This enables many people to function as leaders and also encourages an interchange of leadership styles.
• Include different types of people in leadership positions so that your collaborative organization can legitimately articulate a multicultural vision and values.
• Help to cultivate leadership capacity in others, particularly minorities and women. Help people to gain competence in new areas. Build opportunities into the organizational structure for shared tasks, mentoring, and pairing leaders with inexperienced people so that skills are transferred and confidence is increased.

Engage in activities that are culturally sensitive or that directly fight oppression.

• Integrate aspects of different cultures into all your activities (rather than holding isolated "multinational dinners," for example). Virtually all activities lend themselves to a multicultural approach, including: social events, sports, street fairs, talent shows, campaigns, neighborhood improvement projects, demonstrations, and lobbying efforts.
• Hold events in mutually acceptable locations. Organizers should go to the community to hold events, rather than expecting the community to come to them. Some locations will implicitly reinforce power disparities. For example, if a meeting focuses on police/community tensions, you would not want to hold it at the police station. Attend to access issues for those with disabilities. Often an informal environment will help people relax and get to know one another more easily.
• Consciously develop projects that people from different cultural backgrounds can work on together. Create mixed teams or small groups so that people gain more experience in working together.
• Sanction the periodic use of single-culture caucuses or teams as a way of valuing the need for each group to solidify its position and fortify its own approach to working with the larger group.
• Conduct special activities to educate everyone about different cultural concerns (e.g., forums, conferences, panels, organized dialogues).
• If your activities are not attracting or involving a diverse crowd, try running special events that are geared specifically to different groups. Such events need to be led and organized by representatives of these groups. Let your collaborative organization or community population determine the issues and events that they feel are important. Don't presume that you know what is best.
• Take responsibility for making sure that your group activities and programs address multicultural concerns. Begin with a needs assessment and review of your collaborative's track record on cultural sensitivity. Examine any racial incidents, insults, harassment, or violence that have plagued the organization or community you work in. Remember if and how the organization responded. Identify strategies or programmatic changes that would strengthen the multicultural capacity and enhance its response to incidents of prejudice or discrimination.
• Conduct prejudice reduction work, such as diversity training or multicultural awareness training to change assumptions and attitudes among your membership or community. Using skilled facilitators/trainers. Such training can help your collaborative organization appreciate differences and understand how to reduce insensitive behavior.
• Network and collaborate with other groups committed to multiculturalism, or those fighting discrimination/ promoting social justice.

Building a multicultural collaboration entails changing the way people think, perceive, and communicate. There is a difference between recognizing cultural differences and consciously incorporating inclusive and anti-discriminatory attitudes in all aspects of the organization. Embracing cultural differences is not something separate from your issue-oriented work. It is at the core of the group's perspective on issues, possible solutions, and membership and operating procedures. The organization's structure, leadership, and activities must reflect multiple perspectives, styles, and priorities. Changing how the organization looks and acts is just the first step in the ongoing process of creating a reality that maximizes and celebrates diversity.

In Summary

Collaboration is a process involving organizations working toward a goal they can't reach alone. The process requires long-term commitment and an understanding that there will be shared risks, responsibilities, and rewards. Successful collaboration must be based on mutual respect, a valuing of difference, trust, a plan, lots of patience, determination to adopt new attitudes and pull in partners not usually involved, and, most of all, a sense of common purpose.

Multicultural collaboration adds the challenge of overcoming the communication barriers of different cultures, ethnic heritage, values, traditions, language, history, sense of self, and racial attitudes. These barriers must be conquered in order for the collaboration to succeed. Participants in an effective multicultural collaboration must have inclusive leadership that understands and strives for diversity, while dealing with problems and conflict along the way. If the focus remains on the common goal and equal power for everyone involved, the collaboration will have a great chance of success.

___ A coalition is is two or more organizations working together on an issue.

___ Collaboration is two or more organization working together on multiple issues and goals in a long-term commitment.

___ Multicultural collaboration is is two or more organizations comprised of different cultural backgrounds working together.

___ Multicultural collaboration is important because it gets everyone involved, emphasizes common interest, and creates, both, community and a more just society.

___ Multicultural collaboration is built by stating objectives clearly, conducting outreach and membership development, creating leadership positions for everyone, and engaging in culturally sensitive activities.

Example: Defining and Unpacking the Social Determinants of Health and Health Equity–A Culture of Health Webinar

The National Academy of Medicine (NAM) held the first webinar in its Culture of Health Webinar Series on November 29, 2018. The National Academies report Communities in Action: Pathways to Health Equity identified nine social determinants of health and how these determinants impact our health and the health of our communities. It features an example of actively engaging non-English-speaking communities. The report also defines health equity as the state in which everyone has the opportunity to attain full health potential and no one is disadvantaged from achieving this potential because of social position or any other socially defined circumstance. Read more.

Tool #1: Six Fundamental Patterns of Cultural Differences

These descriptions point out recurring causes of cross-cultural communication difficulties. Next time you find yourself in a confusing situation, and you suspect that cross-cultural differences are part of the problem, review this list. Ask yourself how culture may be shaping your reactions, and try to see the world from others' points of view. Remember that the ways people communicate vary widely between and sometimes within cultures.

Different communication styles

• Language usage is one aspect of communication style. Across cultures words and phrases are often used in different ways. For example, even in countries that share the English language, the meaning of "yes" varies from "maybe, I'll consider it" to "definitely so," with many shades in between.
• The degree of importance given to non-verbal communication is a major aspect of communication style. It includes facial expressions and gestures, seating arrangement, personal distance, and sense of time.
• The appropriate degree of assertiveness in communicating can add to cultural misunderstandings. For example, some white Americans consider raised voices a sign of a fight, while some Black, Jewish, and Italian Americans feel that an increase in volume is a sign of an exciting conversation among friends. So, some people may react with alarm to a loud discussion, when others may not.

Different attitudes toward conflict

• Some cultures view conflict as a positive thing, while others view it as something to be avoided. In the U.S., conflict is not usually desirable, but people often are encouraged to deal directly with conflicts that arise.
• Face-to-face meetings customarily are recommended as the way to work through problems that exist in the U.S. But in many Eastern countries, open conflict is seen as embarrassing or demeaning. As a rule, differences are best worked out quietly . A written exchange might be the favored means to address conflict.

Different approaches to completing tasks

• Various cultures move toward completing tasks in different ways. Factors involved are different access to resources, different judgments of rewards associated with task completion, different notions of time, and varied ideas about how relationship-building and task-oriented work should go together.
• When working together effectively on a task, cultures differ regarding importance placed on establishing relationships early in a collaboration. For example, Asian and Hispanic cultures tend to attach more emphasis on task completion toward the end as compared with European-Americans. European-Americans tend to focus immediately on the task at hand, and let relationships develop as they work on the task. This doesn't mean that people from various cultural backgrounds are more or less committed to accomplishing the task, or value relationships more or less, it just means they may pursue them differently.

Different decision-making styles

• In the U.S., decisions are frequently delegated, an official assigns responsibility for a matter to a subordinate.
• In many Southern European and Latin American countries, a strong value is placed on the individual having decision-making responsibilities.
• Majority rule is a common approach in the U.S., but consensus is the preferred mode in Japan.

Different attitudes about open emotion and personal matters

• In some cultures it is not appropriate to be frank about emotions, about the reasons behind a conflict or a misunderstanding, or about personal information.
• When dealing with conflict, be aware that others may feel differently than you about what they are comfortable revealing. Questions that seem natural to you (e.g., What was the conflict about? What was your role in the conflict? What was the sequence of events?) may seem intrusive to others.
• Variation in attitudes toward disclosure should be considered before concluding that you understand the views, experience, and goals of people you're working with .

Different approaches to knowing

• There can be big differences among cultural groups about how people come to know things (epistemologies).
• European cultures tend to believe that information acquired through cognitive means (counting, measuring) is more valid than other ways of gathering information.
• African cultures prefer symbolic imagery and rhythm as a mode of learning.
• Asian cultures tend to emphasize the validity of knowledge gained through striving for enlightenment or perfection.
• Some may want to do library research to understand a shared problem and identify solutions, while others may prefer to visit places and people who have experienced challenges like the one being faced to get a feeling for what has worked elsewhere.
• Research shows that Western society is paying more attention to other ways of knowing, because this can reveal different approaches to analyze and resolve problems.

Adapted from the AMPU Guide

Tool #2: An Exercise: Exploring Myths and Stereotypes

Instructions: This exercise helps people to practice listening and understanding, while simultaneously dealing with the content of some typical stereotypes. It is a useful group-building experience, particularly for people who want to share their ideas about the language of oppression. It requires a group leader/facilitator to provide the directions and help debrief the personal reactions of each pair.

Write the following myths on a flip chart or hand them out to everyone. (You can also have the group generate its own list of myths.)

• Immigrants take jobs that belong to real Americans.
• Blacks ruin every neighborhood they move into.
• Jews are powerful and control the media.
• Asians are model students and have educational advantages.
• All Latino men are macho and hot-tempered.
• Women belong in the kitchen.

Have people select a partner from a different ethnic, color or cultural background, or alternatively, the group leader can put people together in pairs.

Everyone should select one of the myths and discuss it with their partner.

• Person A states their position, opinion, or conflict about the myth, while B listens.
• Person B then restates or summarizes A's position while A listens.
• Person A corrects and clarifies what B said, until A's original position is accurately portrayed.
• Then A and B reverse roles.

The facilitator then reconvenes the full group to discuss:

• How does it make us feel to see and hear these statements?
• What is the impact of these kinds of myths and stereotypes?
• What have you done or what could you do to eliminate these stereotypes?
• How does it feel to listen and be listened to?

Adapted from materials in "Making the Grade: Community Workbook."

Tool #3: Collaboration Checklist

Use this checklist to assess to what degree you or your group is satisfied with the action or changes to be considered/discussed with partner(s).

Rate each factor from 1 to 5. Closer to 1 means "less satisfied" and closer to 5 means "more satisfied."

1. The scope of the project is clear:

• The benefit to clients is clear.
• Overall goals and objectives are defined.

2. Benefits to us are clear:

• Organizational benefits are sought.
• Individual needs/interests are met.

3. Responsibility/accountability is clear:

• Who is going to do what and by when?
• A mechanism for monitoring and correcting/adjusting plans is in place.

4. We can depend on each other:

• The appropriate people are involved.
• There is enough trust and respect for this project to work.

From: Support Center for Nonprofit Management/National Minority AIDS Council

Tool #4: Sample Ground Rules for Multicultural Collaborations

Many groups that collaborate find it useful to create ground rules for group behavior and collaboration operation. Agreeing to abide by these ground rules can help members to develop group norms and design an ideal environment where everyone feels comfortable .

You can create one set of rules that apply to all meetings, or create special rules for different occasions. Make sure that all participants have input into creating or approving the Ground Rules, and give each person a copy, or post them on a poster or on newsprint in a visible location. These rules relate specifically to multicultural issues. Use them with your group to create a climate that will work for you. These are just examples. Your collaborative group can make up its own.

The group agrees to...

• Share information about our groups and learn from others about theirs.
• Be respectful of the way that others want us to treat them. We will not demean , devalue, or in any way put people down (no making jokes at the expense of others ).
• Give new voices a chance, and not dominate the discussion.
• Combat actively and correct misinformation about the myths and stereotypes about our own groups and other groups.
• Keep our discussions here confidential, and respect people's privacy.
• Treat our own and other people's ideas and emotions with respect.
• Listen and not interrupt while one person speaks at a time.
• Not blame, accuse, or make generalizations.
• Disagree as long as nobody's feelings are hurt.
• Treat people as individuals, not as representatives of an entire group.
• Respect everyone's uniqueness and our differences.

Adapted from "From the Ground up! A Workbook on Coalition Building and Community Development."

Tool #5: How to Bridge Language Barriers in a Group

Arrange for bilingual translators or volunteers. Accommodating language differences may be time consuming but it is absolutely essential in a multicultural collaboration .
Determine whether meetings will be bilingual, or how to use translation. If at least half of the group speaks another language, have total translation of each statement. You may want to break up into small groups, each conducted in a different language, to ensure understanding and participation. The "report-back" and summary can be translated. If only a few people do not speak English, someone who is bilingual can sit near them and translate or answer their questions as the meeting progresses.
Encourage participants to raise questions or make statements in their primary language. You can provide translation for the rest of the group.
If a large contingent speaks another language they may want to hold their own separate meetings. In this case, make sure that the same agenda and issues are used in the parallel meetings. Request that answers to specific questions or a list of ideas will be brought back from both groups to connect the separate discussions and move the collaboration ahead.
Make sure that all written materials are produced, read, and used in all languages that the group speaks.
Consciously build a multicultural vocabulary, using terms and phrases that describe cultural relations as they should be. Be prepared for words to change action, and actions to change the collaborative in real ways.

Adapted from: "From the Ground Up! A Workbook on Coalition Building and Community Development."

• What is conflict transformation?

• Why is transforming conflicts in diverse communities important?

• How can conflicts be transformed?

• What are some of the challenges in transforming conflicts?

What is conflict transformation?

Conflicts are natural parts of our lives. Some people tend to shy away from conflicts, while others tend to confront them. Some cultures encourage their members to conform, while others encourage their members to challenge.

Conflicts can occur between two or more individuals because of differences in personality, values, and opinions. When this type of conflict happens, conflict resolution techniques can be employed to help the parties find a peaceful solution to a disagreement. When the conflict is resolved, the two parties may walk away feeling somewhat or very satisfied.

Conflicts can also occur between two or more organizations or community groups. These conflicts may no longer be about individual differences, but also about divisions perpetuated by ignorance and intolerance, discrimination, and a history of fear and animosity. In such cases, conflict resolution between individuals may not be enough. The groups affected not only have to reconcile their differences; they also have to strengthen their ability to value each other, build alliances, and find common ground in order to change the systems that support their division. They have to transform their conflicts.

Conflict transformation, therefore, is the process whereby conflict is both resolved and used to build the capacity of groups to develop alliances that value equitable relationships, promote harmony, and effect systems change.

Why is transforming conflicts in diverse communities important?

In a diverse community composed of two or more ethnic, or cultural groups, conflicts are more likely to occur because of:

• Differences in group identity, which is shaped by the group's cultural values, history, socioeconomic status, and perceived power.
• History of hostile interaction and discrimination.
• Misinformed stereotypes and perceptions caused by prejudiced attitudes and other external influences (e.g., the media).

Transforming conflicts that stem from these causes takes time, patience, humility, a long-term commitment, and a willingness to trust and to take the risk of making mistakes. But the effort is well worth it because diversity enriches our lives and our communities, and diversity is not something you can eliminate. Global changes and natural disasters (climate change, earthquakes, hurricanes), war, economic downturns, and other factors cause different groups of people to move in and out of countries, states, cities, and communities. Conflict is dynamic and always evolving. Therefore, it is important to be able to transform conflicts to create and sustain stronger alliances and communities.

How can conflicts be transformed?

There are four basic steps to transforming conflict. Within each step, different methods can be used move the process toward a positive outcome. Remember, transforming conflict is a process, not a single event or activity. In practice, it is not always clear as to which step you and your group may be in. You may spend a lot of time working on one step before moving to the next step. You and several others may be ready to move to the next step, but the rest of the group may not. When this happens, don't try and move ahead without everyone. Try and work together to figure out what is holding some of the groups back and what it would take to move forward together. The most important function of these steps is to provide you with a general framework and direction for your effort and to remind you of certain components that have to be considered during the process.

• All groups that are affected by the conflict should acknowledge that there is a problem and commit to working together to deal with the conflict. (Acknowledgement)
• The root causes of the conflict should be identified, made explicit, and reconciled collectively by the groups. (Reconciliation)
• The groups involved should develop a common vision for what they can do together and how they can do it. (Envision and Strategize)
• The groups should determine what they need in order to sustain their ability to continue to work together to manage or eliminate the causes of the conflict, and to promote peace. (Sustain).

What are some of the techniques for helping groups acknowledge the problem and commit to working together?

• Facilitate a dialog between groups clarifying the conflict
• Present information to the groups to show them how they are all affected by a particular issue and how it serves their purpose to work together, or create a safe place where that dialog can be held.
• Bring leaders together who will publicly declare that it'’s time to deal with the issues rather than let a bad situation get worse.
• Hold sessions with group leaders to discuss the importance of reconciliation.
• Help draft a public commitment statement where groups promise to try to work out their differences.

Acknowledge and include the cultural traditions and resources that can contribute to or obstruct conflict transformation. For example, language differences can obstruct the process. At the same time, the social networks in a group that allows information to be spread quickly by word of mouth can be a resource for sharing knowledge

Can you think of any other ways to help the different groups in your community acknowledge the problem, commit to working together, and identify the root causes of their conflict?

Reconciliation: Reconciliation is an important part of the conflict transformation process. Reconciliation is difficult to define, but common themes include making amends and offering restoration in order to bring groups back together. The process may include offerings of reparation and redistribution as part of healing and admission that there may have been victims and perpetrators. There is often a need to forgive. With community reconciliation there may be a sense of community brokenness that needs to be repaired. Those who have committed some wrongs may seek some form of repentance and forgiveness. Reconciliation also suggests an atmosphere that allows participants to move past their differences.

Reconciliation requires that two or more groups develop trusting friendships, identify underlying causes of their conflict, work together to develop a common mission, and promote equity and justice. Reconciliation helps members of the conflicting groups to:

• See each other as individuals and not just as representatives of their group.
• Admit that injustice exists based on group differences.
• Make a personal and collective commitment to social change.
• Envision the future by coming together on common ground, while respecting people's rights to maintain their cultural traditions and values.
• Develop strategies to address structural racism.

There are various ways to do this, including:

• Create an intimate atmosphere for members of the groups to "eat, sleep, and play" together. Religious congregations that have diverse membership have played a key role in creating such an environment.
• Ask members of all the groups to share stories about their experiences with injustice. Sharing stories is an effective method to help dispel stereotypes and to personalize the positive and negative experiences that grow from each group’s identity. You can use a speak-out technique or a fish-bowl method where one group meets in the center and talks about their views on the conflict while the other groups sit in an outer circle to watch and listen, and then all the groups come together to discuss their observations and experiences.
• Convene the groups that are involved in the conflict to discuss their perceptions of the cause of their conflict and to identify what they can do together to address the problem.
• Launch a public education campaign that raises awareness about the root causes of the conflict (e.g., disparities between African Americans and European Americans due to institutionalized racism that perpetuates unequal treatment of the groups) and invite people to step forward to help eliminate the causes.
• Conduct an analysis of the structural relationships that contribute to the conflict (e.g., relationship between the lack of culturally competent mental healthcare and increased mental disorders among the Vietnamese refugee community).
• Invite the groups to participate in a cross-group perceptions exercise (e.g., ask each group to meet and pool ideas about how they view themselves, how they view another group, and how they think another group perceives them; use the information gathered to identify questions and lessons learned).

Envision and Strategize: It is important, as part of the conflict transformation process, to think ahead about the future. Remember, it is not just about resolving the conflict, but transforming the conflict in a way that results in an infrastructure to promote harmony and support equity in the community. You could conduct a "visioning" event or conference to provide the groups with a safe space for them to imagine, share, and articulate what they think is possible by working together across groups. This visioning process helps people to see how they share a common and connected future, and it gives people a chance to develop strategies for individual and collective action. It links their image of the future to concrete steps that they could take to make that image come alive.

You could ask participants to develop individual action plans for themselves and collective plans for two or more groups. It is critical that highly-skilled facilitators are engaged to conduct the visioning process in order to manage conflict and ensure that the participants move from dialogue to action.

During the visioning process, the following questions are essentially asked:

• Where are we now?
• Where are we going?
• Where do we want to be?
• How do we get there?
• What can we do individually and collectively?

Sustain: The effort will face many barriers that challenge its success. What are some ways for ensuring that the transformed conflicts and strengthened alliances can be sustained?

• Leadership support – Engage all levels of leadership (top, middle, and grassroots) in the process.
• Change agents – Establish and train a committee, task force, or special commission of change agents representing all the groups that are in conflict to call out and transform potential conflicts.
• Information dissemination – Use all the forms of media that appeal to the different groups (e.g., street theater, radio, television, music, ethnic newspapers) to continuously distribute images that show people from the conflicting groups working together.
• Evaluation – Evaluate, on a regular basis, the results of the alliances that have been strengthened through the conflict transformation process (e.g., new activities, projects, or resources that came about because of people working together across racial, ethnic, and cultural groups)
• Reflection and revisioning – Use the evaluation results to revisit the community's vision and to identify any necessary adjustments for future planning and actions.

The conflict transformation process can be summarized as one that moves people from reality to their desired future through a series of well-planned and intentional steps that began with an acknowledgement of injustice. The following table lays out the process with specific questions that can be used to guide the process strategies for each stage (adapted from Lederach, 1997).

What is happening today? Where is the conflict?	Who and what institutions need to be included in order to transform the conflict?	What does the future look like?
Which racial, ethnic, or cultural groups are immediately affected? If the conflict is not addressed, what are the consequences for each group? What are the most urgent needs? How is the conflict affected by the local political, social, and economic systems? What existing resources can be used at the top, middle, and grassroots leadership? What existing cultural traditions and resources can help or obstruct the conflict transformation process?	Who are or has the greatest potential to be bridge builders and change agents?   Who has respect, linkages, and knowledge within each racial, ethnic, or cultural group?   What additional knowledge and skills do the bridge builders, change agents, and leaders need to work across groups and to prepare for reconciliation?   What key social networks and organizations are or have the greatest potential for sustaining the alliances across groups and the infrastructure for transforming conflicts and promoting peace in the future?	What is the long-term vision for a diverse and harmonious community?   Who are the keepers of this vision (e.g., the media, elected leaders)?   What systemic changes are needed to achieve and support the vision?   What mechanisms exist or need to be developed to ensure that all the groups are included in decision- and policymaking?
Tools for Understanding Listening sessions Applied research Power analysis Public education campaign Speak-outs Caucusing Fish-bowl	Tools for Building Community Community organizing Leadership developmen Asset-mapping	Tools for Supporting the Effort Community visioning Coalition building Community advisory board Anti-racism workshops Evaluating

 

For those of you who work in diverse communities, you know that transforming conflicts is not an easy task. There are many challenges that can delay or obstruct the process. It is important for you and others to know what they are before you even embark on the journey. If you are not prepared to deal with challenges, your effort could end up creating expectations that cannot be met and consequently discourage community leaders and residents for further collaboration in the future.

What are some of the challenges in transforming conflicts?

It takes a lot of time and resources.

Don't underestimate the number of people who are committed and willing to volunteer for small tasks. As an example, the Akron Beacon Journal in Akron, Ohio, published a year-long series of articles related to racial disparities in response to the tensions felt by the cities' residents after the 1992 civil unrest in Los Angeles. As part of the articles, a mail-in coupon was included asking people and corporations who wanted to build a harmonious community to step forward. The response from the community was overwhelming; hence the Coming Together Project was conceived.

The forces that work against reconciliation, coalition building, and systems change are so overwhelming that it is easy to give up after an unsuccessful attempt to transform a conflict.

Break the strategies into smaller and more manageable tasks. Develop collective and individual action plans for each member and each group. Build in time to celebrate small successes.

Language is a major barrier when bringing together English-only speakers and people who have limited or no proficiency in English .

You, as the community builder, have to help the groups that are involved in the conflict recognize that language plays a role in maintaining power differences. Not understanding the dominant language decreases access to information, and information is power. There are at least two ways for handling this challenge. First, hire and ask translators to translate out loud after each person speaks. This method gets to be a little cumbersome if there are more than two languages involved. Second, purchase simultaneous translation equipment. You still have to hire translators, but the time is decreased because of the simultaneous translation. It is more efficient to use this equipment when you have more than two languages because some of the transmitters allow up to six channels for different languages.

In Summary

Conflict transformation is important in diverse communities to resolve conflicts and to promote peace among groups of different race, ethnicity, and culture. It is a process that takes time, patience, humility, a long-term commitment, and a willingness to trust and to take risks. The key components of the process are: the parties acknowledging the problem and committing to working together, identifying the root causes of the conflict and reconciling group differences, developing a common and connected future, and developing sustainable strategies and actions.

___ Conflict transformation is important in diverse communities to resolve conflicts and to promote peace among groups of different race, ethnicity, and culture. It is a process that takes time, patience, humility, a long-term commitment, and a willingness to trust and to take risks.

___ Acknowledging conflict is the first (often most difficult) step toward resolving it.

___ Reconciliation allows participants to move past their differences by making amends and offering restoration to bring groups together.

___ Envisioning and strategizing has participants think ahead to the future to move from dialogue to resolving the conflict through action.

___ Sustaining asks how can we ensure that the transformed conflicts and strengthened alliances remain that way?

___ To transform conflict, diverse groups must be brought together to discuss problems and causes and to
work together to address the problems.

___ It is important to create environments for diverse groups to participate in activities and
share common ground.

___ These groups need safe places to envision common goals and strategize for the future.

___ Communities should establish ways to sustain abilities to work together and
prevent future conflict.

EXAMPLE 1: Solidarity Mural in Dubuque, IA

In 2020 the City of Dubuque, IA, was approached by Voices Productions and a local artist Shelby Fry to create the Solidarity Mural as a visual embodiment of unity and message of inclusiveness. City Manager, Michael C. Van Milligen approved the design for implementation on the East side of Five Flags Civic Center on Main Street in downtown Dubuque, providing the opportunity for that visual statement to be placed on a public building, demonstrating the City's support for Black Lives Matter and ongoing effort to inspire a change in the mindset of what Dubuque is and can be.

A full description of the mural, it's creation, and it's meaning can be find at this link to the city of Duquque website.

In order to work effectively in a culturally and ethnically diverse community, a community builder needs to first understand how each racial and ethnic group in that community is organized in order to support its members. It is not uncommon to hear a community leader, a funder, a political representative, or a service provider say, "We were not able to engage that group over there because they are not organized. They have no leaders. We need to organize them first." This statement is not always accurate; most groups have their own network of relationships and hierarchy of leaders that they tap into for mutual support. These networks or leaders may not be housed in a physical location or building that is obvious to people outside of the group. They may not even have a label or a title. There is an unspoken understanding in some groups about when and whom they should turn to among their members for advice, guidance, and blessing. Once a community builder understands the social organization of the group, it will become easier to identify the most appropriate leaders, help build bridges, and work across multiple groups in a diverse community.

What do we mean by "social organization?" Social organization refers to the network of relationships in a group and how they interconnect. This network of relationships helps members of a group stay connected to one another in order to maintain a sense of community within a group. The social organization of a group is influenced by culture and other factors.

Within the social organization of a group of people, there are leaders. Who are leaders? Leaders are individuals who have followers, a constituency, or simply a group of people whom they can influence. A community builder needs to know who the leaders are in a group in order to get support for his community building work.

In this section, you will learn more about the social organization and leadership of different cultural and ethnic groups. The material covered in this section focuses primarily on African Americans and immigrants for two reasons:

1. Tensions tend to occur among groups that are competing for resources that are already limited and not always accessible to them; and
2. Most of the struggles facing community builders and other individuals have been with recent immigrants whose culture, institutions, and traditions are still unfamiliar to mainstream groups.

As recent immigrant groups integrate into their new society, their social organization and leadership structures transform to become more similar to those of mainstream groups. This process could take decades and generations; all the more reason why it is important for community builders to understand the social organization and leadership structure of the new arrivals and to build on their values and strengths. While some traditional social structures may prevail, others may adapt to those of the mainstream culture.

Take a moment and think about the most recent group of newcomers to your community.
Who are their leaders? Where do their members go to for help?

Think about the group you belong to. Who are the leaders? Whom do you go to for help? How is your group organized to communicate among its members?

Obviously there are too many groups in this world to include in this section. We will try to share information about as many groups as we can. While the section may not inform you about the social organization and leadership of groups other than the ones described here, we hope it will help you understand enough about the influence of culture on social organization and leadership to ask the right questions of any group.

How do culture and other factors affect the social organization of a community?

There are many definitions of culture. Culture typically refers to a set of symbols, rituals, values, and beliefs that make one group different from another. Culture is learned and shared with people who live or lived in the same social environment for a long time. Culture is captured in many, many ways -- in the way members of a group greet and interact with one another, in legends and children's stories, in the way food is prepared and used, in the way people pray, and so on. Since it is difficult and not always appropriate to change someone's culture, how do you then use culture as a positive force to aid community building?

In the Chinese community:

The Chinese community is the largest and the fastest growing group among Asian and Pacific Islander populations.

The Chinese culture places heavy emphasis on taking care of one's family. Chinese people believe that taking care of their families is a contribution to civic welfare, because healthy families lead to a healthy society. This belief is based on Confucian values, which emphasize filial piety, or a respect for family. The concept of filial piety is instilled in Chinese children from a very young age. In other words, familial relationships form the basis for Chinese social organization and behavior.

Chinese parents place a heavy emphasis on their children and their ability to become successful. Confucian values include reaching for perfection, and perfection can be achieved through education. This is why Chinese parents invest a lot of resources in making sure that their children excel academically.

How does this value affect the way Chinese communities are organized and participate in their communities?

In Chinese communities in America and other countries, it is common to find local associations or huiguan formed by members from the same province or village in China and Taiwan. These local associations provide capital to help their members start businesses. They also perform charitable and social functions and provide protection for their members. These associations play a key role in community building efforts, particularly in Chinatowns. They are formed because of the Chinese emphasis on the importance of family; in China, you consider the people from the same province or village as your extended family. Therefore, in order to engage any Chinese community in a community building effort, it will be useful to identify and involve the leaders of these associations. How do you find out about huiguans? Look in the Chinese newspapers (if you don't read Mandarin, ask someone who does); attend Chinese events and find out who sponsored them; walk around Chinatown (if there is one in your community or city) and look at the advertisements posted in grocery stores, restaurants, and shops.

Education also becomes an issue that can be used to mobilize the Chinese community. With the heavy emphasis on academic excellence, it is more likely that you can convince Chinese parents to show up for a meeting about the quality of their children's education than for a meeting about a recreational center for the community. This means that you should look for ways to link education to the issue that you are trying to address in your community building effort.

Recent Chinese immigrants fear very much that their children or the next generation will lose touch with their culture. Hence, they do whatever they can to teach their children how to speak and write Mandarin or other Chinese dialects. This desire has led to the creation of many Chinese schools in areas that have large populations of Chinese immigrants. Sometimes, these schools have their own buildings; at other times, they are conducted on the weekends in a public school. These schools can play a critical role in reaching out to the Chinese community.

In the African American community:

A group's history of oppression and survival also affects the way it is organized. The networks and organizations that form to protect the rights of their members influence the way in which members of the group organize for self-help. Enslaved Africans, who were "Christianized" by their European enslavers, used spiritual symbolism to preach freedom and to give their people hope and strength. As a result, in the African American culture, religious institutions, primarily Christian (e.g., the African Methodist Episcopal church), have functioned as mutual-aid societies, political forces, and education centers. While Christian churches are predominant among African Americans, the existence and leadership of the Nation of Islam and Muslim leaders in organizing the African American community should also be considered. Today, African American spiritual leaders are among the most influential leaders in African American communities. Therefore, in order to engage any African American community in a community building effort, it will be important to identify and involve that community's spiritual leaders.

How does this value affect the way African American communities are organized and participate in their communities?

In most African American and Black communities, it is common to find one or more churches that are the focal point for social, economic, and political activities. Spirituality, especially Christianity, provides an effective bridge among African Americans, Latinos, and European Americans.The Allied Communities of Tarrant (ACT) in Fort Worth, Texas, is an example of using spirituality to organize a coalition among leaders from these three communities. African American Baptist ministers, European American Lutheran and Disciples of Christ ministers, as well as Latino and European American Catholic priests who were connected to one another through their spiritual interests decided to work across racial lines in order to improve the quality of life for their members. With the help of the Industrial Areas Foundations (IAF), they struggled to identify their commonalties, differences -- especially related to race -- power, and assets. Eventually, they established ACT and took on the issue of school reform, starting with the African American community. African American church leaders came together to develop initiatives within their own churches to empower and support parents to participate in the effort.

In the Central American community:

Many Central Americans fled the poverty and oppression in their countries to seek a more secure and better life in a new place. As one person settled in the new location and saved enough money, he or she would help family members to migrate. Because of the informal and extended family networks that are part of the Central American culture, natural support systems develop to assist new arrivals.

Aside from culture, what other factors affect the social organization of Central Americans?

The close proximity of Central America to the United States (compared to other continents) plays a role in the social organization of Central Americans. Regional associations that are typically named after a town, a city, or a region in Central America emerge in the immigrants' new geographic setting to provide support in cultural identification, security, and maintenance of connection with their families and friends who remained behind in Central America. These associations are usually affiliated with religious groups, soccer clubs, political parties, revolutionary movements, or social service organizations in Central America. Because of this form of social organization, the Salvadoran community in the United States has been able to raise a large amount of funds to assist earthquake and hurricane victims in their homeland.

How can you build on these forms of social organization to engage the Central American community?

Soccer ("football") is a favorite activity among Central Americans. It is not unusual to see adults and children from Central American countries playing soccer in public parks and school compounds. Central American countries are very proud of their national soccer teams. It's similar to the way American football or baseball is valued in the United States, but it is more than just a game for immigrants. Soccer becomes an avenue for meeting other people from the same country or region and forming a social support network. If you are a community builder who is trying to bring various Central American groups together, try using soccer as the common ground!

The Catholic Church is also a key institution that holds members of the Central American communities together. Even in Central America, the church has played a leading role in political advocacy and organizing. In the immigrants' new country, the church continues to play this role, in addition to providing services and social support, and maintaining a line of communication between the immigrants and their families and friends in Central America. Build on the strength and influence of the church to bring credibility to your community building effort and to reach out to Central American communities.

In the Caribbean community:

Migration patterns can provide important information about a group of people. Typically, most immigrants come because they already have a relative or a friend that lives in the United States. They move in with the relatives or friends who also help them find their first job. In the Caribbean culture, there is a tradition of helping the new arrivals through rotating credit associations or saving clubs, otherwise known as susus. According to this tradition, a group of people pools their money and then loans it to someone who needs it. The borrower pays back the loan over a period of time and commits to stay in the susu until the payment is complete.

How can you build on these forms of social organization to engage the Caribbean community?

If your community building effort focuses on economic development, then it is important for you to identify the person who manages the susu. You could ask a Caribbean business or a mutual aid society for Caribbean immigrants for the contact person.

What do all these organizations and institutions have in common?

They support the social organization of a community. Depending on the community's culture and the context that the community has to survive in and adapt to, they all serve different functions.

How do culture and other factors affect the leadership of a community?

The information above showed that culture and other factors (social, economic, historical, and political) have an effect on the way a community organizes itself for self-help and support. The same can be said about leadership. There are different levels and types of leaders that support the social organization of a community. Sometimes, we make the mistake of assuming that there is only one leader in a community or that a leader has to look a certain way. Just as we respect and value the cultural diversity of communities, we have to respect and value the diversity of leadership.

What qualities do you think a leader should have?

In every ethnic or cultural group there are different individuals who are regarded as leaders by members of the group. Every leader has a place and a role in his or her community. Leaders can be categorized by type (e.g., political, religious, social), by issue (e.g., health, education, economic development), by rank (e.g., president, vice president), by place (e.g., neighborhood block, county, city, state, country), by age (e.g., elderly, youth), and so on.

Let's use the same communities described before. In Chinese communities, the leader is typically the head of the family. If family refers to a grandfather, father, mother, sons and daughters, and grandchildren, then the leader is the grandfather. If family refers to the congregation of a church, the leader is the pastor. If family refers to a clan, the leader is the President of the clan's association (or hui guan).

In African American communities, the leader is typically a spiritual leader. A leader can also be someone who is successful in overcoming the barriers of institutionalized racism and provide opportunities for other African Americans to be treated equally by others in the mainstream society (e.g., a business person, an educator, or an elected official).

In Central American communities, the leader is also typically a spiritual leader. It can also be the coach of a soccer team or the president of an association that links a city in Central America with one in another country.

What do all these leaders have in common?

They provide guidance, they have influence over others, others respect them, they respond to the needs of others, and they put the welfare of others above their own. Every leader serves a specific function within the social organization of a community; however, the same type of leader in one community does not necessarily have the same role in another community. For example, a spiritual leader in a Chinese community is not regarded as a political leader, as he might be in the African American community.

What did you learn from the above information and examples?

How can you, the community builder, learn about the social organization of other ethnic and cultural groups?

• Go into the process with an open mind.
• Don't assume that the same leader, organization, or institution serves the same function across groups.
• Keep in mind that the social organization and leadership of a group is influenced by its culture, history, reasons for migration, geographic proximity to its homeland, economic success, intra-group tensions, and the way it fits into the political and social context of its new and surrounding society.
• Look for the formal and informal networks.
• Interview members of a group and ask where and whom they go to for help or when they have a problem.

What are examples of social networks and ethnic organizations that a community builder can use to learn about the social organization of a group, to identify and engage its leaders?

The section before emphasized the importance of learning about the social organization and leadership of various groups in a community so that you can tap into the appropriate resources and assets of each group. You understand that different organizations, institutions, and leaders play different roles in each group. Where do you start? How do you go about getting that knowledge?

Identify natural gathering points and traditions related to social gatherings. Tapping into natural gathering points and traditions related to social gatherings are excellent ways to identify and engage the local leaders and build community relationships. For example, in the Filipino community, tea time is a common practice due to historical European influence. Therefore, "tea meetings" in restaurants are useful for attracting community members to discuss issues and to ask how to involve them in community building efforts. Ethnic grocery stores also play a major role in distributing information to large numbers of people. These stores frequently have bulletin boards where notices are posted about all kinds of activities in that community. In addition, cultural celebrations draw large crowds and provide an effective avenue for outreach. Attend these gatherings. Find out who sponsored and organized them. Talk to the people who attend them. Ask them how they found out about the gatherings. Ask them who you should contact if you wanted more information about the gatherings.

Build on the informal networks of women. One way to engage a racial, ethnic, or cultural group is to tap into the informal networks of women. Go to places where women tend to go, such as the grocery store, the school their children attend, and the hair salon. Ask the parent coordinator at the school if you could speak to some of the mothers. It is likely that you will be able to identify one or more women who are respected by their peers and to whom everyone tells their problems.

Identify and work with the "bridge generation." Young people are the ideal bridge in most communities, especially in immigrant communities, because they are raised in traditional ways but schooled in the ways of the dominant culture. Young people typically accompany their parents to the clinic, school, faith institution, and many other places. Sometimes, they translate for their non-English speaking parents. Therefore, they are likely to know where their parents go for help and who organizes the events in their community.

Ask national organizations that serve and advocate on behalf of different racial, ethnic, and cultural groups for assistance.

National organizations with special concerns have become powerful forces in linking immigrants to mainstream American institutions. Examples include the American Physicians of Indian Origin, Japanese American Citizens League, National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials Education Fund, Mexican-American Legal Defense Fund, National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, and the National Asian Pacific Center on Aging. These organizations play a more extensive role than faith-based institutions, community centers, or cultural programs do in bridging immigrant traditions with mainstream American institutions and values. As a community builder, you might want to engage these organizations if your community building effort is focused on advocacy for a specific issue.

Take advantage of programs that serve large numbers of immigrants. English as a Second or Other Language classes (ESOL) and citizenship workshops often attract large numbers of immigrants, particularly recent newcomers, and provide another way to reach them. Many of these programs are conducted on weekends and evenings.Even though their primary intent is to teach new immigrants how to function biculturally, they can also become social support systems. If you want to talk to or engage large numbers of people, try the ESOL classes and citizenship workshops.

Take advantage of ethnic neighborhoods. In places like Chinatown, Koreatown, and Little India, there are many businesses and organizations that serve the needs of the residents. Go to these neighborhoods, walk through them, and look for community centers, mutual aid organizations, and other businesses that advertise programs or attract larger numbers of people.

How else can you find out more about a community?

• Find an informant from that community and utilize his or her contacts to guide you toward other community members and leaders.
• Spend time at places that are frequented by members of the target group and talk to people there.
• Scan the neighborhood and/or ethnic newspaper for articles about major events and activities in a community and the organizations that sponsor them.
• Contact the editor of the newspaper to ask his/her opinion about who the leaders are in a community.
• Go to the ethnic grocery or convenience stores to review the announcements about events and other activities and the organizations that sponsor them.
• Look in the phone directory or search the Internet for a list of organizations that support a communinty.

What are the challenges that you should be aware of and how can the challenges be overcome?

• During the relationship building and information gathering process, the informant may have expectations about being invited to be part of your community building effort. The informant may think that he or she is the most appropriate person to engage. The informant may also seize the opportunity to talk about the merits or the weaknesses of another leader in the group.

  You must remember NOT to make any promises to the leader about anything until you have had the opportunity to speak to as many individuals as possible and determined the most appropriate leader to involve in the effort. Also, don't get drawn into the discussions about the merits or weaknesses of other leaders. Don't share information about what other leaders might or might not have said already. Just listen.

• There may be misperceptions in the community about which group you represent and who "owns" the community building effort. Such misperceptions would make it very difficult for you to build relationships in the community.

  You have to consider several factors before you begin to engage any of the leaders in the community. How were previous community building efforts, if any, initiated in the past? Who initiated them? Was the effort effective? If not, what happened? This knowledge would help you understand the attitudes toward you and the community building you are involved in. You might also want to consider establishing an advisory group made up of leaders from different groups to help announce and plan the effort

• It is impossible for you, the community builder, to know everything about every group and its culture. You may be an outsider to a group.

  Don't be afraid to acknowledge your ignorance. Display humility, respect the influence of each leader, and ask to be educated. You might consider starting off the conversation with a statement such as, "I know very little about your culture, but I understand that it is important to learn about it so that the community building effort I'm involved in can build on your cultural strengths and will not make assumptions about your group's needs. I really appreciate the time you are taking to talk to me and I look forward to learning from you."

• When working in a diverse community that is made up of two or more racial, ethnic, or cultural groups, it is unlikely that any one community builder will have all the linguistic skills and cultural knowledge needed to relate to all the groups. At the same time, you, the community builder may be a member of one of the groups. You must be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of working with a group of people that share your culture (e.g., a Chinese community builder working in a Chinese community). You have the advantage of already knowing the culture and the language. A disadvantage is that the informant may expect you to play favoritism because you "owe" your community.

A team made up of community builders from different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds would allow for the ability to relate to a wide range of experiences, to speak multiple languages, and to empathize with the variety of challenges that community leaders face. It would also help to avoid some of the expectations and misperceptions about whom you represent and who would benefit from your effort. Furthermore, working in diverse community building teams set an example for the leaders of a group and across groups.

• There are usually several subgroups within an ethnic or cultural group that compete with each other because of differences in political affiliation, socioeconomic status, ancestry, or regional origins. As a community builder, you have to be careful not to create further tensions.

  Maintain a neutral perspective and don't get drawn into discussions about other leaders. Reach out to as many types of leaders as possible. Explain that you are just in the information gathering stage; however, make note of the tensions so that you can be prepared to facilitate any potential conflicts in the future if those leaders happen to participate more extensively in the community building effort.

• The process of building relationships and gathering information may lead to the identification of needs in one or more groups. For example, suppose that local and informal leaders in a given group require assistance in strengthening their leadership, coalition building, or cross-cultural communication skills.

  You could identify outside resources and expertise to help them or you could serve as a coach to the local group. This process itself can be a useful community building strategy.

___ Culture affects the social organization and leadership structure of groups.

___ Different cultures have different social organization. Communities should identify structural points in order to bring diverse groups together.

___ Meeting with ethnic and cultural group leaders, discussing group members' culture and heritage, and gathering information on the cultural groups in your community can facilitate building community between diverse groups.

___ Various institutions (e.g., churches, families) function differently in different cultural groups. Learning how different groups interact with institutions can help guide efforts to make change.

___ Building on existing cultural traditions in a group is important in order to engage the members.

Example: Communities Driving Health Equity - Kokua Kalihi Valley

Kokua Kalihi Valley is enacting a vision of health that extends beyond the clinic and into the community. It combines health care and culture, such as connecting with the land, to create holistic community health. See how Kokua Kalihi Valley is moving health equity beyond just the clinic.

The information in this section is based on previous work by Chavis, Lee, and Buchanan (2001). This work was supported, in part, by grants from the Ford Foundation, Mott Foundation, W.K. Kellogg Foundation, and American Psychological Association.

Global changes and natural disasters have led to the migration of people to different communities all over the world. Communities that were once fairly homogeneous are experiencing large influxes of newcomers from different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds.

What is an inclusive community?

An inclusive community:

• Does everything that it can to respect all its citizens, gives them full access to resources, and promotes equal treatment and opportunity.
• Works to eliminate all forms of discrimination.
• Engages all its citizens in decision-making processes that affect their lives.
• Values diversity.
• Responds quickly to racist and other discriminating incidents.

Why is building an inclusive community important?

• Acts of exclusion and injustice based on group identity and other factors should not be allowed to occur and/or continue.
• All people have the right to be part of decisions that affect their lives and the groups they belong to.
• Diversity enriches our lives, so it is worth our while to value our community's diversity.

In 1995, the city of Clarksburg in West Virginia experienced a demographic change when the FBI's Fingerprint Identification Services Division moved into the community, bringing along with it more than 2,000 African American employees. One day, a young European American man burned a cross on the lawn of an African American FBI employee's house. This incident made the citizens of Clarksburg realize that it was important to build a community that appreciated its new diversity so that such acts of hate don't occur again. Hence, Clarksburg began its journey towards building an inclusive community. The story of Clarksburg is told in M. Potapchuk's book Steps Toward an Inclusive Community.

When should you build an inclusive community?

An inclusive community can be built at any time. The need to have an inclusive community, however, is most obvious when there has been a decision or an incident that caused harm to a particular group of people.

It is important to consider the motivation behind an individual, a group, or a community's desire to build an inclusive community because the motivation affects the following:

• Types and sequence of strategies selected – if there were a crisis, you might have to start with a strategy that transforms the conflict. If there were no crisis, but rather the vision of a community leader that sparked the effort, you might consider starting with a public education campaign.
• Resources available – more resources could be mobilized if the motivation came from a large institution or a local foundation.
• Amount of support and obstruction – if the dominant group in the community is just as motivated as any other group, there is likely to be more support. If, however, the dominant group has no interest in changing the status quo, there are likely to be more barriers.
• Rate of progress – if the major leaders and groups support the effort, progress is likely to be faster.
• Expected outcomes – if the goal is to raise awareness, everyone involved is likely to be satisfied if they learned new things about other groups. If the goal is to promote fair treatment of every group, everyone involved is more likely to be satisfied by policy change.

Do your homework and gather information about the community.

Find out what major groups live in the community and learn their history (i.e., length of residence, migration patterns, changes in political, economic, and social status)

There are a couple of ways to do this.

You can start by contacting local government agencies and planning groups. You could also check out the Census Bureau and/or the website of the city or county; consult the National Neighborhood Indicators Project read the local community newspapers; drive and walk around the community and pay attention to social activities, housing developments and conditions, street life, etc.; attend community activities and talk to people; and meet with local community leaders.

Keep in mind: You may be perceived by the community as representing the organization that hired you to gather the information, or as favoring the identity group that you may be associated with. One way to overcome this perception is to work closely with community citizens that represent different groups. Attend meetings and events with them.

Observe and ask about the characteristics that distinguish the groups from one another. Such characteristics could include cultural tradition and ethnicity, socioeconomic class, employment categories, and/or religion.

Learn about the social organization of the different groups, including their social points, support networks, and major institutions.

Identify the major events (e.g., political, social, and economic) that affect the community. These could include the election of a new mayor who does not value the community's diversity, the closing down of a major factory that cost many residents their jobs, the establishment of a casino, or the expansion of a mental health center. Consider the links between such events and other changes in the community. Pay special attention to how these events have affected the major groups in the community.

Tip: How do you determine if you have heard from every major group in an equitable way?

• Conduct the same number of interviews or discussions with each major group.
• You could conduct a survey and ask group members to name their most influential leaders (or the leaders in whom they place the greatest trust), and then speak to those leaders.

Identify and attend the events that signify the traditions of the community. Such events could give you insights into whether or not the community values its diversity, what is important to the community, and which group is most visible and valued. They could also provide an ideal forum for distributing information and demonstrating change.

Engage the most influential leaders representing the major groups in the community from the beginning to provide guidance.

Convene a community council comprised of influential leaders from different groups to help you review, analyze, and summarize the information that you gathered before. Be sure to identify cultural resources and assets as well as needs.

The process of convening this community council is an important consideration when you are working with two or more racial, ethnic, and cultural groups to build an inclusive community. Consider carefully the history of exclusion and power differences. See Tool #1 for a guide on establishing a diverse community advisory board or council.

Work with the community council to identify potential entry points and/or strategies for building an inclusive community.

Consider the way in which a problem or concern was raised and described by different groups and their leaders and the groups that may be associated with being the perpetrators, objects, or by-standers of exclusive practices. This information will give you a sense of the individuals or leaders who are most ready for change and those who are most resistant to change.

Bring together people representing different groups as equals in terms of power, respect, and importance.

Make sure that all groups involved are considered as equals. Processes and procedures, formal or informal, must be put in place to ensure that people are treated equally and that decisions are made collaboratively. A simple and common example is how language differences are dealt with during meetings and other forms of interaction.

Tip: You may find that the community has a list of concerns. In order to prioritize which common concern should be addressed first, you could consider:

• The concern that impacts the most number of groups.
• The potential consequences, if the concern is not addressed.
• The feasibility and practicality of addressing and resolving the concern.
• Results from past polls and formal surveys.

A common goal helps groups understand that they share certain desires or goals, which compels them to work together rather than against one another.

Create opportunities for members of different groups to identify and share their similarities and differences.

By getting to know someone as an individual, there is less of a tendency to perceive another group as monolithic and homogenous. This allows members of groups to recognize that even though they may differ in some ways, they may share a common identity or common goals and perceptions in others.

Find a phrase that appeals to all the groups (e.g., "better quality of life," "safe streets") and facilitate discussions about the meaning of that phrase to each person and each group. Build in time for informal social opportunities to talk, share a meal, etc. as part of these discussions.

Coordinate activities and events to celebrate the community's diversity.

Educate the different groups and the larger community about conditions and forces that help shape a group's identity and current situation. This is essential, because otherwise, groups can end up appreciating their similarities only and ignoring the structural factors (e.g., institutionalized racism) that underlie and perpetuate their differences. If the root causes for such differences are not recognized and addressed, the change that comes about from your effort will be superficial or short-lived.

Allow for the identification of each group's assets and use and exchange them as part of your effort.

Assets in this context refer to the values, traditions, historical events, art forms, language structure, and other characteristics that make a group of people proud about their identity.

Find opportunities for this type of exchange to occur throughout your effort. For example, you could create such opportunities for members of the community council and during other community discussions. You could work with the editor of the local newspaper to publish a series of articles about the assets of each major group in the community, or you could also work with a popular radio station to allocate an hour a week to share such information.

Use such exchanges as a way to point out misinformed stereotypes or perceptions.

Albuquerque Project Change (APC) in New Mexico was launched in 1991 to build an inclusive community in Albuquerque by promoting equal access to economic resources for people of color in the city. One of the issues identified by the Project was unfair lending practices and poor outreach by local financial institutions to that population. Through community partnerships among different groups, anti-racism training for community groups and financial institutions, and a strong community task force, the Project was able to get local banks to commit to low-interest rates and flexible underwriting that benefited low-income groups of color. For more information, check out Project Change.

Identify, respect, and transform conflicts into improved capacity and relations in the community.

Conflict between two or more groups may be unavoidable if they don't understand or appreciate one another's cultures, have misinformed or negative stereotypes about one another, and/or compete with one another for resources and power.

Recognize that different groups have their own ways of dealing with conflict. Some cultures encourage their members to conform, while other cultures encourage their members to challenge the forces that impinge on their rights. The goal is not to do away with conflict, because that is an impossible task, but rather to use conflict in a constructive way to develop people's capacity to work together.

Consider hiring an outside facilitator who can work with you and the community council throughout the effort to transform conflicts. Recognize that the potential facilitator's perceived group identity (this might be any characteristic from a physical trait to something less visible) could have a positive or a negative effect on the process. Make sure you, the potential facilitator, and the community council discuss this concern before actually getting down to work.

Ensure institutional support for promoting inclusion, equity, and justice.

Equity means that everyone has equal access to economic, social, and educational opportunity. Justice means we uphold fair treatment and due reward in accordance with honor, standards, or law.

Support from institutions (e.g., local governments, schools, community networks, faith groups, the media) are essential for creating an environment that supports your community effort. Because of the status, power, resources, and relationships that these institutions have, they could either sanction or obstruct your effort.

Identify and engage institutional leaders in your effort, if they are not already part of the community council. You could make presentations about your effort or invite them to participate in an event or activity.

Find a way to show the institution how it could benefit by valuing and including all of the major groups.

The South Orange/Maplewood Coalition on Race in New Jersey is advised by a board of institutional leaders in the two communities. Through its multilevel strategies, the Coalition has been able to initiate pro-integrative strategies that value the racial diversity of the two communities and prevent re-segregation. Its efforts have resulted in institutional practices that ensure inclusion and equity for all the racial and ethnic groups that live there. For more information about its work, contact the coalition at (973) 761-6116.

Acknowledge and celebrate successful collective action.

Successful collective action not only improves a community, but also strengthens the groups' relationships. It reinforces the positive experience and outcome of working together. Groups are more likely to want to work together again.

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest accomplishment. For example, on a smaller scale, the council members could have dinner together at a restaurant. The council could also make an award to the groups that were part of the success.

On a larger scale, an organization that played a big part in the success could host an open house and invite leaders and members of all the groups to join in the celebration. Invite an important person in the community (e.g., the mayor, school superintendent, faith leader) to inaugurate the event. Write an article for the local newspaper.

In the acknowledgement and celebration, point out the fact that success was possible because the groups built on their strengths, appreciated their diversity, and worked together on a common issue.

Sustain the relationships, strategies, and changes at multiple levels, including the individual, group, and institutional levels.

Building an inclusive community is not an event that has a beginning and an end. It is a process that continuously evolves. Sometimes, it may feel like the community made three steps forward and then took two steps backward. Or, you had three successful actions and six ineffective attempts. What is considered success and progress, as opposed to failure and regression depends on the individual, group, and institution.

Regardless of where you stand, it is important to sustain the relationships, strategies, and changes, no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to be, because they become the tools for managing the process of building an inclusive community.

Create opportunities to maintain frequent contact and cooperation among the groups. For example, if three groups came together to start a new multicultural after school program and it was successful, encourage them to institutionalize the program. This could mean hiring a grant writer to identify additional funds to continue the program.

Keep in mind: Efforts to build an inclusive community are sometimes conceived in either-or terms. In other words, the effort either focuses on dialogue OR action; assets OR needs; race OR class; individuals OR institutions; social relationships OR neighborhood improvement. The tools and resources that are available also tend to emphasize one focus or the other. While it is not wrong to choose one strategy or focus over another, it is preferable to implement a comprehensive effort that operates on multiple levels-individual, group, and institution.

Establish a task force or committee that could serve as a "watchdog" to hold institutions accountable to changes that affect inclusion.

Encourage leaders who understand and work towards inclusion, equity, and justice to run for office.

In Summary

The work of building inclusive communities is not easy; results will not occur overnight. It takes time, patience, perseverance, and courage, because this work is about transforming attitudes, behaviors, and policies. It requires strategies that operate at multiple levels, including the individual, group, and institutional levels.

___ The first step to making change is for communities to acknowledge their need to become inclusive and discussing how to make an effort.

___ Strategies to change should target multiple levels-individuals, groups, and institutions.

___ The most influential leaders representing the major groups in the community should be engaged from the start to provide guidance.

___ Community councils can often help identify potential entry points and/or strategies for building an inclusive community.

___ Any effort for change should bring together people representing different groups as equals in terms of power, respect, and importance.

___ Creating opportunities for members of different groups to identify and share their similarities, differences, and assets can foster unity within a team.

___ Conflicts should be identified, respected, and transformed to improve capacity and relations in the community.

___ Involved institutions should support promoting inclusion, equity, and justice.

___ Any successful collective action should be celebrated.

___ Relationships, strategies, and changes at should be sustained at multiple levels, including the individual, group, and institutional levels.

Example: Inclusive Dubuque

 

Inclusive Dubuque is a peer-learning network of partners committed to supporting an equitable and inclusive culture to meet the economic and cultural needs of their diverse community. The network works collaboratively to eliminate bias in their community.

Tool #1 Association for the Study and Development of Community. A planning guide for valuing diversity. Gaithersburg, Maryland.

Planning Guide
Getting Ready fro Promoting the Value of Diversity:
Issues for Consideration

This guide was produced for the Association for the Study and Development of Community.
The development of this guide was made possible by a grant from the Ford and Mott Foundations.

CONTEXT

An Advisory Committee that comprises a diverse group of leaders and institutional representatives can be useful to advise an organization or project about ways to promote the value of diversity. These members could include staff from the organization and project. They provide the vision for what it would take for their community to value diversity. Their vision lays the groundwork for the valuing diversity project.

USING THIS GUIDE

The purpose of this guide is to help you stimulate further thinking about:

• Establishing the Advisory Committee;
• Planning the process for identifying the focus of your initiative and assessing needs and challenges for valuing diversity; and
• Determining the process for adopting and adapting promising strategies to help your community value diversity.

This guide is not intended to be a prescription for a valuing diversity project, instead it is intended to guide you in developing a process that enables members of your community to come together to develop a way for how they want to value diversity. Examples are provided to clarify each step and dilemmas that might be encountered during the planning process.

THE ADVISORY COMMITTEE

Roles and expectations

It is important to consider the role of the Advisory Committee for your project as early in the process as possible.

The Advisory Committee can have several roles:

Information access

Committee members can be used to access information on several levels, such as to obtain demographic information that has been collected by the city government; to find out about the grassroots leadership in a particular community; to engage a particular community group; and to learn more about available resources for valuing diversity in the community.

Technical assistance

Committee members can be used to assist project staff depending on their areas of expertise, such as cultural understanding, group dynamics, conflict transformation, community organizing, strategic communication, fundraising, and advocacy.

Networking

Committee members can be used as a link to additional and wider networks, such as nonprofit organizations, informal community networks, businesses, government agencies, and private funders. Committee members can also help provide access to grassroots leaders, policy makers and other potential participants.

Facilitation   Committee members can be used to facilitate collaboration, such as among groups that traditionally do not work together; leaders across community sectors (e.g., businesses and youth development groups); and groups that have similar missions. Committee members can also serve as facilitators during learning activities (e.g., small group discussions), help provide translation, and gain access to meeting space in the neighborhoods. Modeling behavior Committee members can become an example or model for cross-cultural collaboration. It represents the possibility of people from diverse backgrounds working together to use the diversity among themselves and in their community as an advantage to accomplish their goals. Advocacy Committee members can be used to advocate for funding and other supports for community issues by participating in other national or local efforts, coalitions, task forces, or steering committees.

Issues for you to consider when selecting Advisory Committee members: Is the Advisory Committee representative of the groups and institutions that you would like to engage? Are leaders of the most affected groups as well as the most powerful groups invited to participate? What is the level of leadership that is committed? (e.g., is the vice president of a local corporation a member or is it his/her administrative assistant) Is the invited person a legitimate leader in the community (has constituency as part of an informal or formal institution) and what is his/her history of leadership (e.g., ability to maintain momentum, strong ties with government agencies and other large institutions)? How does the invited person frame issues related to demographic changes and other forms of diversity (e.g., is it an asset or is it a conflict)? Does the person have time to participate in the Committee and is willing to work with members from other groups? Is there anyone else who should be invited regardless of the size of his/her community or organization in order to ensure inclusion of all racial and ethnic groups? Have the expectations for membership been communicated clearly to Committee members (e.g., purpose, number of meetings they are expected to attend)?

Policy

Committee members can be used to influence policymakers, such as convincing county officials to establish stricter enforcement against absentee landlords

STRUCTURE AND ORGANIZATION

Once the role and expectations for the Advisory Committee have been defined, it is important to establish a structure that works for everyone.

Leadership

The Committee can elect a chairperson. The chairperson can be communicating with the local facilitator, communicating with all the members, determining when it is necessary to meet, and/or developing meeting agendas.

Facilitation and other support

The Committee should decide what is the function of the local facilitator and staff of the grantee organization.

Communication

The members must decide on the best method and frequency of communication. A useful tool for keeping all the members informed of the project's activities is meeting minutes. The minutes not only update members that cannot attend a meeting, it also helps document the process of the project.

Decision-making

The Committee must agree on how decisions are made (e.g., number of votes or by consensus). Some members may not be able to attend meetings or provide feedback and they need to decide if the other members can make the decision.

Authority The grantee organization and the Committee must determine the extent of the Committee 's authority. Can the Committee make decisions and if so, regarding which matters.

It is important to acknowledge what each Committee member brings to the table to increase their sense of ownership for the effort, equality, and adopt an assets perspective.

Subcommittees or task forces

Subcommittees or task forces can be established to divide the responsibilities of the Advisory Committee. A smaller subcommittee can dedicate more time to a particular issue or component of the project and/or provide a specific expertise. The members must then decide if a subcommittee can make independent decisions, or if the subcommittee merely gathers information to submit to the entire Advisory Committee for final decisions. A staff person or member must be assigned to coordinate the subcommittees or task forces to ensure that there is no duplication of activities and timely progress.

Process versus Action It is not unusual to have members with different working styles-some may be more process-oriented, while others may be more task- or action-oriented. For instance, some Committee members may want to develop their own valuing diversity skills, while others may want to focus on decision making. The Committee must be clear on its role and expectations-does it come together for discussions or merely to make decisions? The best approach is a balance of both and to develop a process that leads to action.

Initially, it is critical to give the Committee members adequate time to share information about each other (e.g., how did they come to live in the community, what do they do) and about their personal vision for a community that values diversity. Their stories must be acknowledged and legitimized by the larger group.

A common language and key concepts

Coming up with a common vocabulary is one of the most important first steps. The Advisory Committee must come to a consensus on a common language for the valuing diversity work it is about to conduct. For instance, the term "cross-cultural" may be more appropriate than "multicultural" because the former implies more interaction and exchanging across cultures. Or, the term "valuing diversity" can mean relations between African Americans and European Americans (different racial groups), youth and senior citizens (different age groups), or tenants and homeowners (different socioeconomic groups). The Advisory Committee should also keep in mind the ten principles for strengthening intergroup relations and if appropriate, develop additional key concepts. Further, Committee members should not assume that the terms they use mean the same thing to everyone. The common language that the Committee develops for itself should be consistent with the language that will be used to convey the goals of the project to the neighborhoods and/or institutions targeted.

Evolving membership

The planning process must include a periodic reassessment of the Advisory Committee's membership to assess whether the Committee is comprised of the "right" people. The membership can change depending on the needs of the project and its developmental stage. A process must also be established to orient new members. New members can receive an orientation packet and/or meet with a few "older" members to get a historical perspective of the project.

PLANNING

With the assistance of the Advisory Committee and its members' knowledge, skills, and resources, the planning process can begin for identifying the project's focus area and considerations, assessing needs and challenges for valuing diversity, and designing the action process.

FOCUS AREA AND OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

Geographic:

There may be neighborhoods or subsections with:

• A history of conflict,
• Major demographic changes,
• Large number of immigrants,
• Agencies and organizations lacking capacity to adequately address the needs of residents from diverse backgrounds,
• Clear boundaries that have already been drawn, and
• Outside actors who have intervened and had a negative or positive impact on the neighborhoods or subsections.

Institutional:

There may be specific institutions where residents come together and result in conflict. For instance, the project may focus on a housing development where residents are not getting along and there is no forum for addressing the tensions.

Geographic and Institutional:

The program will focus on the nonprofit and public institutions within a neighborhood that are operating independently or lacking adequate capacity to serve the needs of diverse groups.

Issues to consider for target area selection:

• Which neighborhoods or subsections are experiencing an increase or enclaves of a particular racial or ethnic group?
• Which institutions are most affected and are not adequately addressing the needs or tensions of their diverse constituencies?
• Where are the opportunities for residents from diverse backgrounds to come together around an issue?
• Where are the tensions and conflicts-on the systems level because it is traditionally a White-power structure; intergenerational because the youth are loitering on street corners and offending the elderly residents; or interracial because the Koreans have bought out the local convenience stores in a primarily African American neighborhood?
• Is there charismatic and indigenous leadership?
• How will the neighborhoods' leaders and residents deal with the media for wider information dissemination?

 STRATEGY DEVELOPMENT

It is important to understand the demographics, tensions, and issues in the area of focus (i.e., neighborhood, subsection, and/or institution), and the challenges of conducting valuing diversity work in that area. The following questions need be answered before the appropriate strategy can be developed:

• What are the issues shared by all residents?
• For example, criminal activities, housing conditions, lack of alternative activities for youth, closing down of a community health center, etc.

What are the challenges of bringing residents together?
Some of the challenges may include:

• More intensive effort (e.g., resources, leadership training, and technical assistance) required to organize the communities;
• Tensions between established gatekeeper organizations and fledgling grassroots groups that serve particular groups, which makes collaboration or access to certain communities difficult;
• Certain communities, particular recent immigrants have more urgent needs that must be addressed first, such as housing, food, clothing, and health;
• Intergroup tensions exist within a larger sociopolitical context (e.g., city government, education board);
• Incompatible civic participation practices among groups; and
• Need for translation services in several languages.

What has been done and what is out there? What are examples of successful organization and projects and what strategies did they use that brought people together?
It is important to explore previous efforts to organize the community or address conflicts and learn from those efforts' successes and failures.

Who are the key players (individuals and institutions)?
Getting acquainted with the key players serve several purposes:

• Ensure that you are not "stepping on someone's toes,"
• Obtain their buy-in to lend credibility to the valuing diversity effort,
• Gain access to their networks,
• Learn from their intergroup relations; and
• Build upon their knowledge and experiences.

In some cultures, a great deal of deference is given to their community leaders. Getting to know the key players who are most likely also the community leaders will demonstrate respect and cultural sensitivity.

How much does the valuing diversity project engage in power structures?

The grantee organization and Advisory Committee needs to consider this question in advance. In some neighborhoods, the intergroup tensions may be nested within a larger power structure and institutionalized racism may be prevalent. In order to strengthen intergroup relations, the valuing diversity project may have to get involved in larger institutions. This involvement can increase the visibility of the project and this may be positive or negative depending on whose perspective. This involvement can also require the grantee organization and Advisory Committee members to take sides on an issue.

METHODS

There are several ways to gather information to respond to the above questions.

Strategy session

Strategy sessions can be conducted with Advisory Committee members, community leaders, and other key players to answer the above questions.

Focus groups

Focus groups can be conducted with different groups-public officials, representatives of nonprofit organizations, grassroots leaders, youth, senior citizens, or by ethnic group.

One-on-one interviews

While this method can be time consuming, it may be more effective when asking about more sensitive issues.

Archival sources

For example, census reports and community assessments.

Reports

There may be existing reports that have been previously conducted by the state, county, or local agency, and nonprofit groups. Programs are usually required to submit annual reports to their funders. Therefore, if you identified any past or current efforts that addressed the needs of residents, be sure to ask for reports that they had to submit to their funders.

Newspaper articles

Newspaper articles, especially local community newspapers are useful sources for information on conflicts and community activities. Local community newspapers also tend to publicize celebrations and ceremonies to recognize activists and leaders, and are a great resource for identifying community leaders.

ANALYSIS OF INFORMATION   The information gathered should be analyzed to identify specific themes in the following areas. Areas of conflict Conflicts may exist within a group (e.g., Latinos with different nationalities), between two racial groups (e.g., African Americans and European Americans), newcomers and long-time residents (e.g., African Americans and Salvadorans), institutions (e.g., police and local businesses, or established nonprofits and grassroots groups), generations (e.g., youth and senior citizens, or first generation Mexicans and second generation Mexican Americans), groups of different socioeconomic status (tenants and homeowners), groups of different religions (e.g., Muslims and Christians), or groups with different political status in their home countries (e.g., Ethiopians and Eritreans).

It is essential to remember that some cultures, particularly the Asian cultures tend to have members that are less comfortable speaking up in a large group. In this case, one-on-one interviews may be more effective. Some cultures are based on an authoritarian structure and their members are encouraged to please the authority or authoritative figure. Other cultures may have a history of oppression and are suspicious of anyone or any institution that resemble their oppressor. It is important that the Advisory Committee considers and ensures that the messenger for the valuing diversity project is a person or an institution that is perceived with trust and has credibility.

Common issues faced by residents from different backgrounds

For example, the African American and European residents may be struggling with criminal activities in their neighborhood, Latino and Vietnamese communities may both be struggling with poor housing conditions in a particularly housing development, or a lack of recreational activities for both youth and senior citizens.

Opportunities to meet challenges facing groups through funds and capacity building efforts

The information must be analyzed to see how resources (funds, technical assistance, and training activities) can be used to address challenges groups face and whether the groups have come together before on common issues. For instance, African American and Latino tenants have come together before to try and get the housing management to improve their living conditions. However, because of language barriers and lack of organization, they have been unsuccessful. There is an opportunity for the valuing diversity project to provide funds for translation services and to mediate other cultural barriers.

Existing efforts and community resources

The valuing diversity may be able to build on existing assets. There may be another initiative or coalition in the neighborhood that need additional resources to enhance its efforts.

Communication channels and outreach strategies

What are the best methods for communicating and reaching out to the communities? For example:

• Faith institutions (mosque, temple, church)
• Local community newspapers
• Newsletters distributed by organizations and groups in the neighborhood
• Spanish radio station
• Library
• Asian grocery stores
• Vietnamese cable program
• Social service agencies
• English as A Second Language classes
• Restaurants

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

Spiritual qualities, such as compassion and justice, are often directly connected with the work of community building. In this chapter, we hope to examine those qualities, or assets, to show how they have been used in practice, and how you can use them for greater effectiveness in your own community-building work.

“Spirituality” refers to the qualities that inspire us to do what is right and good – for ourselves and for others. This chapter is about those qualities—and their application   in one’s personal, professional, and community life.

We begin by providing some general rationale and background:

Rationale. As many users know, a main goal of the Community Tool Box is to help all of us become more effective in our community work, leading to more benefits and better outcomes for people.

To do so, most sections in the Tool Box deal with what might be called practical skills or techniques, with guidance for specific action steps one might take in doing the work of community building. Examples are found throughout our Table of Contents – assessing needs, forming plans, training volunteers, evaluating results, just to mention a few.

And those skills, broadly defined – those actions and tasks – are essential to the work of community building. To build strong communities – to build most anything else: a house, a program, a change in policy – requires taking specific actions in the world.

Yet becoming more effective in the community takes more than skill alone. Even with practice and proficiency, skills by themselves are not sufficient. Here is why:

The role of personal qualities.

Community action requires not just skill, but a person using the skill. Community effectiveness also depends on what the actor brings to the situation: the inner dimension of community change.

What are some examples of those qualities? They might be expressed in the enthusiasm the person conveys, or through a warm and supportive comment, or by a willingness to shrug off a temporary setback, or by extending oneself to offer a particularly thoughtful kindness.

These are not skills, in the same way that writing a funding proposal or forming a coalition is a skill. The focus here is more on the “spirit” of the actor or change agent – the spirit one brings, for example, to encouraging others to participate, or advocating for a cause. It goes beyond technique, seeming to come from within. It may at first seem intangible, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to understand, capture, and utilize it. For such spirit is nevertheless present, and it can have a powerful impact upon the work.

And that is our focus in this Tool Box section and chapter.

Spiritual qualities and assets. In this chapter, our aim is to emphasize a certain subset of qualities or assets, and to explore their relationship to community building. Here we give them the label of “spiritual” assets, and we emphasize them because we think they are among the most important for community building.

“Spiritual assets” refer to qualities that enable us to do what is right and good – for ourselves and for others. It can be seen in what we say and do – our acts of compassion, mercy, justice, and other similar ways of being in world.

There are many such assets, but in this chapter we will focus on some that are particularly important to community building:

• Being Charitable toward Others
• Being Compassionate
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation
• Appreciation and Gratitude
• Spreading Hope
• Sharing Hospitality
• Practicing Humility
• Advocating for Justice
• Patience: Enduring Trials
• Showing Tolerance and Acceptance

And we will devote separate Tool Box sections, which follow this Overview, to each of these.

Plan for this Overview section. Our plan and our format in this Overview section are similar to that of other Community Tool Box sections:

• First, to clarify, and to provide a working definition, of what we mean by spiritual assets.
• Then to describe in general terms why they are important, and how they can be used for community building
• To indicate some particularly favorable conditions for their use
• To mention some areas of community life where spiritual assets might be particularly significant, together with some specific examples of application
• To suggest how these assets might be developed and applied
• To indicate some general challenges, issues, and questions that may occur in applying spiritual assets in practice.

And finally, to introduce the remaining sections in the chapter, each of which considers a particular spiritual asset and how it might be used in one’s own community building work.

What Is Meant by “Spiritual”?

Spiritual assets, such as compassion and forgiveness, are widely valued qualities found in every culture and community. Although acknowledged in virtually every religious tradition, they are not the province of a particular religion, denomination, or sect. They can be seen in people who do – and do not – believe in a higher power or God.

“Spirituality” refers to the qualities that inspire us to do what is right and good – for ourselves and for others. It may involve experiencing those larger forces, especially the connections we have with other beings and our interrelatedness with them. And it also involves applying those qualities in one’s personal, professional, and community life.

Our intent is simply to show how spiritual assets can be used in community building to create more desired outcomes and a better world. We want to highlight the potential value of applying spiritual assets, and offer some suggestions for use of those assets in community building work. We respect the role that many different wisdom traditions have in fostering spirituality, but our primary aim here is the practical task of community building.

How Can Spiritual Assets Facilitate Community Building?

To reiterate the main point of this chapter and section, we believe that certain personal qualities of the change agent or actor – what we call here spiritual assets – can lead to more effective community building and community life in general.

Why might this be so?

It seems plausible that certain types of spiritual assets would facilitate community building more than others. Consider the person who finds it hard to perceive the distress or suffering of others; or who perceives it but is indifferent to it; or who may feel pity about others’ distress but for one reason or another does not act to relieve it. That will not facilitate community building. Similarly, someone one who is insensitive to the feelings of others, or who finds it difficult to form relationships with others, or to trust others; who dislikes or castigates certain groups of people – those kinds of qualities, when prevalent in the larger group, will also make it more difficult to build strong communities.

Conversely, when community members are aware of the needs, beliefs, and emotions of others; when they take pleasure in their interactions with them; when they are disposed to seek out and value connections with others; when they feel common bonds with them and are motivated to maintain them – those personal qualities – call them spiritual assets – are likely to facilitate community building.

Here are two illustrations:

Appreciation (Gratitude). When you walk outside in your neighborhood or community, and make contact with those passing by (even with people you hardly know, or don’t know at all), that conveys acknowledgement and appreciation of the other person. You might simply smile or wave hello, and what you say or do might take scarcely a second. But even those small encounters, multiplied over people and time, create a sense of belonging and of being respected; they add up; they have a cumulative effect.

 If you meet someone you do know, you might chat for a moment, and if it’s appropriate take the opportunity to compliment them on some accomplishment, or express happiness over a fortunate event, or wish them well in a new school, a new job, or for a growing family. All of these small actions also show appreciation and caring. They add up as well.

Tolerance and Acceptance. Spiritual assets can be expressed on a community level too. For example, a town’s philosophy might be set down on its local government website, or in its vision or mission statements, or planning documents. It might include statements such as:

“We welcome people of all backgrounds and beliefs.”

“We will be known as a community where people respect and value one another.”

“We are a community whose members care about each other and are ready to lend a helping hand.”

Each of these statements reflects the spiritual assets of tolerance and acceptance, perhaps others as well.

A community’s philosophy and guiding values might also be transmitted in its policies and procedures, in its logos and visual portrayals, in its hiring practices, in its orientation and training of employees, and in the daily programs it operates. With repeated exposure, these expressions may come to affect the well-being of community members, whether directly or indirectly. They become woven into the community’s culture, which gradually but perceptibly may begin to influence residents and their behavior.

When spiritual assets such as appreciation and tolerance are expressed, they may not only have value in themselves; they may also be a model or example for others in how to behave in a way that is valued by the community. They tend to spread. Greeting one’s neighbor may encourage that neighbor to greet others in turn. Promoting community tolerance may lead to more actual expressions of tolerance, which may result in better relationships among those involved. Those effects may not always happen, and they may be small, but they accumulate over time.

Are these examples of spiritual assets? We believe they are. They are consistent with the working definition we proposed earlier in this section. They illustrate concern for our relationships with other people, and for our connections with other groups, both of which we see as fundamental to healthy communities. They are also, we believe, attuned to the larger forces guiding community life.

But does this make them spiritual? What is spiritual about them? You may choose to label these assets “values” or “virtues,” or simply “qualities,” or something else altogether. But while we are comfortable with the term “spiritual,” the key point is not the labels given. The key point instead is that these assets, by whatever name is given to them, have significant and positive effects upon community life, and so should be cultivated and nurtured in community situations when possible.

What Conditions Are Most Favorable for the Expression of Spiritual Assets?

We cannot easily think of situations where it would be undesirable to express the spiritual assets we have been discussing. In that sense, all conditions are favorable. But there may be some situations when spiritual expression may be especially desirable or needed, and these might include:

• When a disaster or adverse community event has occurred. This might be a disease outbreak or a weather or environmental event such as a fire, explosion, hurricane, or toxic spill. Or it could be an event initiated by community members, such as violence committed upon another person.
• When a clear injustice has been committed, such as overt discrimination, hate crime, or obvious violation of basic human rights.
• When prevailing attitudes in the community are pessimistic or cynical, or even despairing or hopeless, and when such attitudes prevent or impede corrective action.
• When spiritual leadership in the community appears weak or absent. Much of the time such leadership exists in a community, and is widely known and on display. But if that’s not the case, and when a spiritual vacuum seems to exist, it may be time for other community members to rise to the occasion.

Perhaps, on reflection, you can add other conditions to this list.

How Spiritual Assets Can Be Used

The spiritual qualities we have been discussing can be utilized and applied on multiple levels – among individuals and families, small groups and organizations, neighborhoods and villages, and full communities and societies. Expressions at all levels are valuable and can be encouraged, for each reinforces the other.

Compassion is one example: This spiritual asset can be expressed on an individual level, multiplied by many people, many occasions, and many time frames. When this is so, it can gradually affect the nature of the community and its quality of community life. A community that engages in more behaviors related to compassion is more likely to affect all those living within it – the community actions set standards or norms that individual residents tend to follow. A community culture of caring for one another is created.

To put it differently, the expression of spiritual assets is multi-level; and also interactive, bi-directional, and mutually reinforcing, as illustrated in this simplest of diagrams:

 

In our discussion, we will give separate attention to spiritual expression on the individual and family, and organizational and community, levels.                               

On an individual and family level. The expression of spiritual qualities on an individual and family level relates to the small interactions and transactions of daily life. Simply living in a family or community setting gives us countless opportunities to act spiritually. And it is possible to take advantage of multiple opportunities that naturally come one’s way.

Earlier we offered examples relating to appreciation, tolerance, acceptance, and compassion. A few others might be:

• Advocating for justice. Speaking out, instead of remaining silent, when a family or community member’s rights have been violated.
• Practicing humility. Deflecting attention away from oneself, to the larger issues at hand; making sure proper credit for accomplishment is shared with others.
• Sharing hospitality. Offering hospitality to a neighbor, an acquaintance, or even a stranger who is in distress or has an obvious need.

Using a different example, that of forgiveness, we can realize how the expression of spiritual qualities can have multiple, echoing, and sustained effects. (Keeping in mind that in daily life forgiveness often involves relatively minor occurrences of doing and not doing – an insensitive remark, a broken object, a missed opportunity to contribute.)

The act of forgiveness may have spiritual merit in and of itself. But beyond that, from a practical community-building standpoint, when we forgive:

• The relationship between the people involved may be restored or strengthened.
• A burden of guilt, and sometimes shame, is often lifted from the person who committed the offense.
• Since negative emotional energy is now released, more energy now becomes available to engage in more socially constructive activities.
• The person forgiven, having observed forgiveness being modeled by others, may now be more likely to forgive others in turn. Forgiving actions are reciprocated.
• The person doing the forgiving, having seen the positive results of that action, may also be more likely to forgive in the future.

A similar analysis may apply to the expression of other spiritual qualities, especially regarding strengthening relationships and passing it forward.

On an organizational and community level. Spiritual assets can also be expressed on a larger scale or level, beyond the single individual. How can this be done? Suppose we focus on the organizational or community level as a case in point. Here are some ways:

• Vision statements. A community organization, or an entire community, can express spiritual qualities through forming and communicating a written vision of what that organization or community should be like, and how we should relate to one another. For example, “Health for All” communicates the values of equity and fairness.
• Mission statements. The same applies to organizational or community mission statements. For example, “Promoting Inclusive Communities” communicates the spiritual qualities of tolerance and acceptance.
• Value statements, of what the organization or community regards as most important, written and expressed in everyday practice. For instance, when the stated values of justice, mercy, or reconciliation are expressed within an advocacy, health, or service organization.
• Planning documents, or other written plans and communications, which may also include goals and objectives
• Organizational policies and procedures
• Programs for orienting new staff or training current staff
• Daily program operations
• Promotional materials for the organization or community, logos, visual depictions, and other symbolic materials
• Evaluation of organizational or community programs, through the measurement of indicators relating to spiritual assets; for instance, the measurement of inequities in health or educational outcomes consistent with the value of justice.

Expression in different community sectors and settings. Spiritual assets can be applied within an array of community settings and contexts including in government, education, health care, workplaces, human services, criminal justice, the arts, media, and religious other non-governmental organizations.

Some Examples of Spiritual Assets in Practice

For each of the spiritual assets described in this chapter, there are many possible applications in daily community life. You will find many of these examples within the different Tool Box sections fin this chapter. But to give some illustrations of what we’re talking about, we offer a few actual examples of use, with each followed by some reflective questions regarding some of the potential issues involved in broader application.

Hospitality. A village or neighborhood group makes it a practice to welcome all new neighbors by bring food or flowers. A group representative arrives unannounced at the door, an offering in hand, greets the new neighbor, and says “Welcome. We know you have just moved here, and on behalf of our community we want to greet you. We hope you and your family have a wonderful time living here. If there are any ways we can be of help, here is some information on our community. Just give us a call.”

* Is that form of welcoming and hospitality valuable for community building? If so, could it be (and should it be) extended to other new-neighbor situations? If so, why isn’t it? What are the barriers? And are there times when this would not be a good practice?

Gratitude. A community-building program focuses on the more positive aspects of human nature; one topic in the curriculum is gratitude. As part of the program, the leader holds a “gratitude night,” where each participant is encouraged to bring to the group ca person that he or she feels grateful toward – it could be a parent, partner, friend, community member, anyone at all – and to express that gratitude in front of the full group.

In a similar exercise, students in middle or secondary schools are sometimes asked to keep “gratitude diaries,” where they write down the experiences they are grateful for each day.

* Are gratitude diaries and gratitude nights good ideas? Should they be extended to the broader community? Both of the above are formal and highly structured activities; are there similar but less formal ways to encourage the expression of gratitude? What might be some smaller ways of expressing gratitude in everyday life? And how could those be more easily become part of the fabric of our society?

Being Charitable toward Others. At the market, one customer places a donation for families in need, without knowing who exactly will benefit. The next customer in turn makes a donation, and on down the line. This chain goes on for many people before it is broken. A young person aids an older adult in getting across the street.

* Are these types of behaviors always to be encouraged? Should we be emphasizing acts of charity, generosity, or kindness that are not random or transitory, but rather focused and consistent? Beyond that, how far should charity properly extend? And how can the limits be properly determined?

Justice. A young person commits a potentially criminal offense. Instead of school discipline, court proceedings, or other conventional punishment, the person responsible for the harm appears before a panel of peers, together with the person who was harmed; an arrangement to repay or give restitution to the injured person – to make it right – is negotiated, agreed to, and fulfilled.

Instead of trial and conviction, or segregation from others, the concept here is to encourage face-to-face exchange between the person who was responsible for the injury and the person harmed. The general intent is to promote some form of reconciliation or healing.

* Is this type of justice-seeking morally legitimate, or at least justifiable? And is it effective, in practical terms? And how broadly should this concept be applied -- for example, to other transgressions? What are the limits to this type of approach, if any – both in terms of eligibility for the approach, and of practical application?

 Compassion. At an educational institution known for the value it places on compassion, adult students receive instruction on compassion and on compassionate acts in practice. Instruction is based in large part on the Buddhist practice of visualizing the sending of loving feelings and kindness to others. The program’s description communicates that “participants can learn to strengthen the muscle of the heart.”

As an example, a retired teacher who participated in the program reported: “I spent a lot of time talking with my students about the ‘problem’ of poverty, but I just didn’t feel the suffering. If I had taken this course earlier, I think I would have been a better teacher. Poverty isn’t just a term you can pass over and move on. I’m now able to draw it in and feel the pain.”

* Is it possible to develop compassion by an actual training program? Or is compassion a quality that you either have or do not have? Are some people naturally more compassionate than others? Can you teach any person who may not be naturally compassionate to be more so through training? If so, would this be a wise thing to do?

The questions following the examples above are not necessarily easy to answer; but we believe to some degree they are inherent in practical application. They raise natural questions about the possible limits of the expression of spiritual assets, limits beyond which one might not reasonably go.

Spiritual expression may be desirable on both individual and community levels – and worthy of active encouragement and possibly direct training. But one should also be aware that spiritually-based action is not inevitably successful, and may in the short run have unintended consequences that are not always preferred.

Developing Spiritual Assets

The potential for expressing spiritual qualities and assets belongs to everyone. But the degree to which they are actually expressed depends upon one’s background and experiences and environment. In other words, spiritual practice is learned and influenced by the conditions around us.

And if that is so, we may be able to develop and strengthen spiritual assets, for ourselves and others, just as we develop other behaviors and the conditions that support them. How might that best be accomplished? Here are some possibilities:

Awareness. It may be that simply presenting examples, stories, or other content relating to spiritual actions creates awareness; and this may gradually or eventually stimulate individual or community action over time.

Encouragement. In addition to providing examples and stories, we need prompts and reminders to act in similar ways.

Guidelines. Guidance on how to express a spiritual asset, such as mercy or forgiveness, can help establish behaviors consistent with the spiritual quality. Such guidelines can be given in print, through visual depiction, or face-to-face, and can be part of varied educational programs or feedback from those who care about us.

Models. Modeling, or showing how it is done, is powerful; especially models who experience positive consequences, such as praise or acknowledgment, for having done so. Mass and social media may be especially helpful in bringing models of applying spiritual assets to the broader community.

Reinforcement for spiritual practices. Modeling is most effective when it is followed by positive consequences. When an act of compassion is criticized, or the recipient is portrayed as undeserving, it will not be sustained. Reinforcement matters, whether it is given by others or self-delivered. For expressions of spiritual assets to be maintained, they need to be reinforced.

Training. An additional step for developing spiritual assets is to provide direct training and instruction in when, why, and how to engage in the spiritual behavior in question. This could include detailed examples, stories, case studies, practice exercises, real-world practice occasions, and discussion opportunities. This type of training could be brought together into a curriculum or shared on the web, similar to the sections of this chapter of the Community Tool Box.

Some Challenges and Issues in Applying Spiritual Assets

We clearly value the spiritual assets we have been discussing, and see many opportunities and areas for their use in community building. Yet, we know that such application is not always apparent or easy.

What are some of these challenges, issues, and ethical questions in applying spiritual assets, and how they can they be addressed?

1. Desire and readiness. If one is to be forgiving, one must have the desire to forgive. If one is it to be patient, one must be motivated to act patiently.

Without this readiness, a learned behavior is less likely to occur. But sometimes that desire may be hard to summon – for sometimes the expression of spiritual assets may seem to conflict with our natural tendencies, or to go against the grain of established patterns and cultural practices.

If it were a matter of an ordinary, routine community action – such as sending a reminder about an upcoming meeting, or welcoming new group members – those actions might seem easier or more natural. But spiritual actions may involve a different and deeper part of the self, one that must first be engaged. It may seem easier to blame than to forgive, or to respond to a hurtful action in kind. It may seem easier to act rather than wait, even though patient waiting might produce the better outcome. For application to occur, the desire to engage in spiritual action must come to outweigh competing tendencies to act in different or contradictory ways, or not to act at all.

2. Conversion into action. Once sufficient desire or readiness to express a spiritual quality is present, it must be converted into action. Desire by itself is not sufficient.

This is of course true for many behaviors, and surely for community- building behaviors. One may want to show compassion – and realize that one could, and feel that one should – but the actual compassionate action may somehow not get expressed. Injustice may be felt, even deeply felt, but for whatever reason – whether it be shyness, uncertainly, lack of confidence, or fear of criticism or recrimination – that feeling does not translate into action to right the wrong.

We know well from self-examination that we don’t always act upon what we see and feeling, and that many of our intentions do not blossom into behavior. If we are to translate desire into spiritual action, some mechanism for conversion is needed, and may need to be developed.

3. Strengthening spiritual habits. When one acts in a spiritual manner consistent with our definition -- when one acts forgivingly, compassionately, or patiently, or when one shows gratitude, or rights an injustice – those types of behaviors must be repeated and maintained over time. When we speak of applying spiritual assets, our hope is for application not just once, but over multiple occasions. The desired spiritual behaviors, like many other desired behaviors, must become habitual or likely to occur when the situation calls for it.

4. Time and effort. Spiritual actions often take time and particular effort, especially when they have not yet become habitual.

If you aspire to be more patient, you may need to restrain an insistent urge to take action. If you want to extend your hospitality, you may need to give up some personal time you were looking forward to. If you are acting for a just cause, you may need to prepare yourself for indifference, criticism, or retribution.

Even though we are well-intentioned and capable, to act upon and express a spiritual asset may mean changing and elevating our ordinary behavior, and may call for some extra effort – time and work that we are not always able, or willing, to give.

5. Spiritual fatigue. A related point: Performing spiritual actions, over time, can be fatiguing – physically, or emotionally, or both – especially if such actions have not been well established. It is one thing to be hopeful, and communicate hope to others; it is another thing when your hopes are dashed time and time again. You may manage to be forgiving today; but can (or should) you sustain forgiveness when others’ hurtful behavior continues to occur?

Repeated expressions of any spiritual asset can be tiring, and easily deplete our spiritual reserves. We may not have the personal capacity to extend endless benevolence to all who need it, ask for it, or deserve it.

6. Spiritual numbing. Alternatively, and perhaps worse, we might become spiritually numb. We may feel overloaded by all the need and distress in the world, knowing that we can’t react to it adequately and fully. To protect ourselves, we may filter and block out this distress, become desensitized to it, and respond weakly if at all. We may then choose to withdraw at least for a while, so that we can be renewed.

7. Competition. And even if spiritual fatigue or numbing never occurs, competition from other activities may. Spiritual actions may compete with other actions we are called upon to take – our obligations to family, friends, or work, or other groups we belong to. Our acts of compassion or mercy toward others can take away from caring for family. Not all needs and requests, even the worthiest, can receive the attention we might like to give them. We must prioritize.

8. Ethical issues. The challenges and issues we have noted so far in converting spiritual assets into action have been essentially practical. But ethical, or moral, issues may arise as well.

One prominent ethical issues relating to spiritual conduct is the deservingness of the recipient. That is, are all recipients equally deserving? Is one who behaves badly equally deserving of forgiveness, or hospitality, or compassion? And in particularly horrific cases – severe physical violence or homicide, for instance – is forgiveness still justified, or justifiable? In a different scenario, even if everyone were equally “good,” would they then have equal claim to the benefits of spiritual actions? Or would some be more deserving than others? Which persons, and by what criteria?

Such ethical questions are much easier to state than to answer. We raise them because they are important and inescapable in most discussions of spiritual action, and worthy of further consideration by all would attempt to infuse spiritual assets into the work of community building.

9. Special challenges for organization and communities: Establishing proper structures. Finally, the discussion under this heading has focused on the spiritual behavior of individuals. But some challenges and issues for spiritual behavior also exist in organizations, and communities, and at other broader levels.

One particular challenge that commonly arises, especially in larger organizations and communities, in sustaining spiritual expression over time. Sustainability certainly applies to individuals too, but may apply even more at broader levels, because the management of the organization—or the leadership of the community—frequently changes faster than the people within it. Values may change, polices may shift, and institutional memory may fade.

What will be helpful in this case is the establishment of a clear and transparent structure to guide and support the expression of spiritual assets for that larger group. Such a structure might take the form of a separate committee or institution, such as a human rights commission or peace and justice coalition. It may also be represented in organizational policies that prohibit discrimination or assure time for service to others. Or, it may be evidenced in orientation and training sessions, periodic reviews, communications to staff or public officials, or some combination of these. Whatever the structures are, they must be agreed to, well-known, and continually nurtured and supported through generations of leadership.

The structure can then become part of the organizational and community culture, its DNA. To use a long but powerful 17-letter word, it becomes institutionalized. It is then more likely to become a permanent feature of what the organization and community is and does.

* * *

The challenges and issues we have cited we feel are largely inherent in spiritual life, and in community life as well. To summon needed desire, to strengthen spiritual habits, to sustain the effort, to avoid spiritual fatigue, these challenges are all ongoing. We cannot resolve them fully and forever, any more than one satisfying meal solves the problem of needing to eat. That is the nature of the community-building process.

Yet, with repeated exploration and practice, we can become more skilled at expressing our spiritual assets, just as our communities can become more able to benefit from them. This gives us much room for hope, a spiritual asset in itself.

The other sections in this chapter are designed to facilitate your own exploration of different spiritual assets. As you read them, we hope that this guidance is useful and nurturing for you.

In the meantime, as always, we wish you every success in assuring spiritual assets for the important work of community building.

Contributor
Bill Berkowitz

Editor
Stephen B. Fawcett

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

 

Introduction: The Value of Compassion

Compassion is a concept that is deeply embedded in our human consciousness. It may also prove to be crucial to our well-being in a world now shared by more than seven billion people. Indeed, the capacity for compassion in the human mind and heart, recently a topic of study in the neurosciences and the subject of ongoing discussions in psychology, ethics, literature, and theology, may be key to the very survival of humankind as well as the environment we share with other creatures.

Although we will propose a working definition and discuss practical applications of compassion for our everyday lives, this section begins with two stories intended to provoke your own thinking about the value of this spiritual asset as it might apply to community building. Because compassion is recognized as a significant and powerful value in both ancient and modern cultures, it holds exciting potential for humankind to create compassionate communities and, perhaps, a compassionate global community in which people take responsibility and care for each other, and where peaceful co-existence is a genuine possibility.

The two stories can help us formulate relevant questions—which we will then address in the context of what compassion can mean for community building.

The Story of Ebenezer Scrooge

Ebenezer Scrooge is the main character in a short novel by the English writer Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, published in 1843. A familiar story that has been adapted for film and stage in Western society, the story of Scrooge, indeed his very name, calls up images of a businessman who cares only about making and holding on to his money and who even defies the spirit of Christmas with his famous words, “Bah, humbug!”

But Mr. Scrooge’s story is finally one of redemption and transformation. He is visited by ghosts who remind him of the joy and hope of Christmases past, show him the harsh realities of life for people in his community during Christmas present, and give him a glimpse of possible future Christmases including his own death and terrible reputation. After the intervention of the ghosts, he becomes a new man, a man of compassion, who seizes upon opportunities to relieve the pain and suffering of family, friends, employees, and his community. By the end of the story, Scrooge is a man who has learned that empathy and compassion for others can make a positive difference in his own life and in the community.

Lessons and Questions from This Story

This story has important implications for community building, for it implies that personal transformation is possible, and that human beings are capable of developing a compassionate mindset that can affect the well-being of the wider community. It also leaves us to ponder significant questions: How can we (given that we cannot dispatch time-traveling ghosts) help to bring about such a change in human hearts? And taking this idea a step further – what prevents even kind and well-meaning people from acting with compassion within their own communities and beyond?

The Story of Avalokitesvara

Another much older story about compassion, from a Tibetan Buddhist tradition in the third century B.C., may also be useful in examining these issues. Long ago there lived a man named Avalokitesvara, who makes a vow to his spiritual teacher that he will be always mindful of compassion and that he will work to liberate all other beings from suffering. To seal this vow, Avalokitesvara declares that if he ever again has a selfish thought, “may my head be cracked into ten pieces . . . and may my body be split into a thousand pieces.”

After many years of staying true to his vow, Avalokitesvara finally breaks under the strain of seeing so much suffering and feels that his efforts to relieve that suffering have been insufficient. In anguish, he cries out, “What is the use? I can do nothing for them. It is better for me to be happy and peaceful myself.” Avalokitesvara falls apart—his head splits into ten pieces, and his body breaks into a thousand pieces.

Avalokitesvara is visited at this point in the story by his spiritual teacher, who is able to heal and transform him. Avalokitesvara’s new form has ten faces to look out in all directions (symbolizing his ability to view compassionately all the suffering in every direction without getting overwhelmed) as well as a radiant, eleventh head and a thousand arms, each with an eye in its palm indicating compassion’s capacity for vast awareness.

Lessons and Questions from This Story

Avalokitesvara learns from his breakdown not only that he cannot eliminate the world’s suffering despite his passionate intentions, but also that he cannot ignore his own needs by completely devoting himself to serving the needs of others. Today, Avalokitesvara is known to some as the bodhisattva of compassion or, to others, as the embodiment of the compassion of all the Buddhas who ever existed or ever will exist.

Avalokitesvara’s story, too, poses questions for us as community builders to ponder: What impact can we have, or what difference can we really make, when there is so much suffering all around us? How do we keep from compassion burnout (or “compassion fatigue”), that is, from feeling depression or even despair because of our inability to meet the challenge of suffering in our own communities and throughout the globe?

We will attempt to address all of the questions prompted by these stories, first by defining what we mean by “compassion,” then considering when and how this spiritual asset may be helpful in community building, and finally by suggesting how compassion can be developed and promoted in individuals and within the community.

Definition: The Many Faces of Compassion

Like Avalokitesvara, compassion has many faces, and to define it is not easy. We can consider the meaning and origins of the word “compassion” in various languages. We can read about the concept in discussions of ethics and morality. We can take into account the stories, parables, and theologies of various world religions. And in current scientific journals and academic studies as well as popular magazines, articles, and videos, we can read about compassion in the context of various related qualities and concepts.

An initial difficulty in pinning down a definition is that the concept of compassion is not one that translates easily in terms of either language or culture. The Oxford Dictionaries online defines compassion as “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others” and traces the origin to ecclesiastical Latin’s “compati,” meaning to “suffer with.” Over the centuries, however, the term has become more complex and nuanced, as evidenced by the wide variety of definitions and approaches to this concept published on the website of The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University School of Medicine.

Scientific Approaches to Compassion

A relatively recent approach to understanding compassion comes from scientific research and attempts to map the biological basis of compassion, including taking measurements of activity in the vagus nerve, heart rate, the secretion of the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and activity in various regions of the brain. The Greater Good Science Center, based at the University of California, Berkeley, which studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, provides a practical definition and one that may be useful for community builders: “[Compassion] is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.”

And in the same vein, Dan Martin, a professor and researcher in social psychology and business management at California State University, East Bay, proposes that taking action is an essential aspect of compassion. He views compassion as a complex idea that can manifest itself in myriad ways, and poses a three-part definition of compassion to include (1) noticing suffering, (2) feeling empathy, and (3) taking action to ameliorate the suffering, which cues others to see it in actual behavior.

For the purposes of this discussion, we have combined Martin’s definition with that of the Greater Good Science Foundation to provide a practical construct and a good place to begin in considering the importance of compassion in community building: Compassion is a feeling that arises when a person becomes aware of another’s suffering, feels empathy for that person, and takes action to ameliorate that suffering.

The Importance of Compassion for Community Building

The Need for Compassion

Now, in the early decades of the 21st century, we are all witnesses—through the internet, television, radio, and print media if not in actual experience—to the suffering brought about by natural catastrophes and man-made tragedies on an almost daily basis: destructive storms, diseases, acts of political terror, school shootings, soldier suicides, human trafficking, and discrimination against one or another group of people. We observe or hear about homelessness, hate crimes, and too many children living below poverty level or being traumatized by living in war zones.

Everywhere, every day, we learn of people suffering, in our own communities and in communities throughout the world. It is difficult not to be aware of all this suffering, yet most of us manage to keep it from the forefront of our everyday lives.

Possibly because the sheer number of issues and the amount of suffering can seem overwhelming, we tend to “cultivate our own gardens” if not actually bury our heads in the sand. While we often rely on our government and social agencies—local, national, and international—to deal with the many issues that cause people to suffer, it is everywhere evident that something more is needed. In our communities and in the world, we are now confronted with an urgent need to listen to and understand each other, to empathize with all those who suffer, and to act with compassion for the health and well-being of all people. We will explore how we might do this in the text that follows.

The Role of Compassion in Community Building

Community builders will be challenged to both bring awareness and build empathy; but to be successful, they will need to facilitate the design and delivery of compassionate actions among community members. Compassion will be a critical element throughout every stage of the organizing process, from assessment and planning through implementation and evaluation.

During initial assessment, if we do not take the time to really listen—with empathy and compassion-–to those who are affected by a challenge, we risk misunderstanding what the real issues are and what is needed to resolve those issues. A woman who experiences domestic violence, for example, may benefit from the opportunity to go to a safe house with her children rather than the more usual “solution” to have her husband arrested and her children removed from the home. Successful solutions cannot be imposed; they must be developed with understanding, empathy, and compassion for those who are suffering.

The implementation of any plan to relieve suffering also calls for empathy and compassionate action; we know that simply “throwing money” at a problem does not resolve the real issues and underlying causes. An attitude of compassion helps ensure that we do not impose a top-down solution on those who are affected—people experiencing homelessness, the unemployed, youth from underrepresented communities, people living with mental illness, the hungry; rather, we need to take the time to walk in their shoes, to listen, to understand. Compassionate action within a community takes time—to recognize the suffering, to truly empathize with those who suffer, and then to take compassionate action that will improve their situation.

Favorable Conditions for Use of Compassion

Under what conditions is it most appropriate or helpful to be compassionate? That very question may seem a bit strange, for we might well ask when is it not appropriate or helpful to act compassionately. Yet some situations so obviously call for compassion that we may not even be conscious of making a choice to take compassionate action—such as when a family member or a friend asks for help or just a listening ear, when a co-worker makes an error and faces ridicule or worse, when a neighbor has suffered a loss of property or a loved one.

All of these examples are about people with whom we have some personal relationship. Because they inhabit our personal sphere, we find it relatively easy to empathize with them, to feel their pain and want to help—to take compassionate action.

But what about the suffering outside our personal sphere? For many of us, seeing a child or an animal in distress will trigger our empathy and compassion even if we have no previous relationship with them. Similarly, if we notice someone who is relatively helpless (older adults, the injured) and in obvious physical distress, we may also be moved to compassionate action—to provide assistance or comfort, or to call an ambulance. At some point, however, it becomes more difficult to jolt our awareness, our empathy, and certainly our compassionate action.

When and how do we recognize the suffering and extend our compassion to that person experiencing homelessness or that person pushing an overloaded cart down the street? When do we inquire into what services are available to frail older adults, to people with developmental disabilities, to people living with mental illness and their families? When will we go beyond inquiry, and advocate for those services? What moves us to recognize and do something about people who suffer from poverty and hunger in our own communities or in communities far away? What can motivate us to reach out to relieve the suffering of people, perhaps immigrants who live amongst us, whose beliefs and cultures are so different from our own?

Most of us do not view ourselves as similar to either the self-absorbed “Bah, humbug” Ebenezer Scrooge who chooses to ignore the suffering of others in his community or the all-giving and compassionate Avalokitesvara who sets out to relieve all suffering wherever it is found. But like them, we struggle with how much we are willing to empathize, and then make a conscious choice to give of our time, energy, and wealth to improve life for others.

Compassion Predicaments

Laurette Folk, editor of The Compassion Project: An Anthology, gives a name to this struggle. She calls it a “compassion predicament”:

What I have discovered is that compassion is most often a predicament—something we begrudgingly choose (or choose not) to do. When we give eagerly, it’s during the holidays, because there is a bandwagon effect—everyone else is giving as well— and it makes us feel good.

I’ve had many compassion predicaments in my life, and I’m no exception. There was an older adult lady sitting on a bench outside the Stop & Shop with bags full of food who wanted a ride home; the ride she had arranged beforehand had left her stranded. I was taken aback by this proposition and perceived her as brazen, but being the softy that I am, I gave in. We loaded her groceries into the back of my Toyota Rav4, and I dropped her off at her apartment building down the road. She was especially appreciative, and although I initially felt annoyed and inconvenienced, I experienced a sudden rush of joy as I pulled away.

The concept of the compassion predicament can be extended further as we ask ourselves: just what is our responsibility in taking compassionate action? Is it when we happen to be made aware of suffering—getting a late night phone call from a friend or family member who is depressed, seeing an elderly woman sleeping in the cold in a doorway as we hurry down the sidewalk to work, or learning from the internet or a television broadcast about the suffering of families in a war-torn country halfway around the world? Does our responsibility extend to looking for suffering behind “closed doors”—of mental institutions, of prisons and youth detention facilities, of nursing homes? These questions will be important to ponder as we turn to how compassion can play a role in community building.

Whose suffering do we allow into our awareness? When do we allow ourselves to feel empathy? What does another person’s suffering require of us? These are questions that each of us must ask and answer for ourselves in the context of our own lives. Indeed, the answers may change depending on our current circumstances—our age, our sense of security, our abilities, and our own physical and mental health. For example, if you are just getting started in a career, perhaps raising young children, you may find plenty of opportunities for compassionate action within your sphere of family, your community of friends (including children’s activities), and perhaps a faith congregation. You may even make some modest monetary contributions to causes that you believe in; but you will probably not be giving up all your possessions and devoting yourself to help people who are suffering, say, somewhere in a war zone halfway across the globe.

As you age and grow in experience and wisdom—and hopefully compassion—you may find different answers to the compassion predicament, and you may find yourself reaching out more not only within your own community but across the world to strangers. We cannot prescribe a path for you, of course. Like both Ebenezer Scrooge and Avalokitesvara, each of us must make our own choices as we struggle to understand what it is to be human and how we are related to all other beings who share our planet.

How to Use Compassion in Community Building

Let’s remind ourselves here of our definition of compassion as an asset for community building: Compassion is a feeling that arises when a person becomes aware of another’s suffering, feels empathy for that person, and takes action to ameliorate that suffering. The challenges for us as community builders then are how to (1) build awareness, (2) encourage the development of empathy, and finally (3) help move people to compassionate action. We will consider each of these challenges in turn.

Building Awareness

We have all witnessed the outpouring of support that occurs when there is a particularly memorable or well-publicized catastrophe, whether that is a natural disaster or a heinous crime committed against some portion of humanity. We understand that the suffering of other beings can touch the hearts and minds of many people, even those who live thousands of miles away from the disasters. But do we need to wait for the occurrence of a disaster to ignite compassion within our communities?

The immediate challenge in community building is how to get people to pay attention to what is happening every day closer to home, in their own back yards. The pain and suffering that goes mostly unnoticed by many of us does not melt away because we choose not to see it. On the contrary, eventually the pain and suffering of an affected group—a marginalized ethnic population, youth from underrepresented communities, veterans experiencing homelessness, people living with mental illness—will spill over into the wider community, often with tragic consequences. So creating awareness is an essential first step in using compassion for community building. But how do we do it?

1. Include Many Perspectives. One of the major strategies in any community building effort is to engage as inclusive a group as possible—especially those directly affected by the issues—to gain the perspective and support of the various groups and individuals that make up the community. It is not a simple task to bring together disparate (and sometimes hostile) groups in an open discussion and to expose and explore their pain and suffering. Well-meaning community organizers may find that uninvited and negative guests –-anger, misunderstanding, ignorance, apathy, prejudice, privilege, miscommunication, fear, and selfishness—may arrive at a meeting to disrupt their efforts.

At such moments, compassion is needed more than ever by the community leaders, for compassionate listening and understanding of the stories behind all of these emotions and ideas can lead to greater empathy and compassion for all involved. Such compassion can bring about radical change in a community.

An example of how successful this approach can be is the Dudley Street Neighborhood Initiative (DSNI), a non-profit community-based organization rooted in the Roxbury/North Dorchester neighborhoods of Boston. When a small foundation presented its plans to try to revitalize a neighborhood devastated by arson, neglect, illegal redlining practices, and outside speculation, they were surprised when some members of the community objected because they had been left out of the planning process. In the award-winning 1996 documentary, Holding Ground: The Rebirth of Dudley Street, the planners admit, “We made a mistake ... by not including residents.” The entire project was transformed by restructuring the board of directors to include members of each neighborhood ethnic group in addition to representatives of local housing and human services organizations, religious institutions, and local businesses. The 2012 follow-up documentary, Gaining Ground: Building Community on Dudley Street, provides further evidence of the effectiveness of listening to the diversity of voices, including community youth, and of working together to bring about the well-being of all members of the community.

2. Conduct Surveys and Assessments. Many approaches and tools are available to help bring about greater awareness and to facilitate an inclusive community discussion and assessment to identify the most pressing needs within the community. In some situations, a door-to-door survey may be most effective. In others, a facilitated discussion may be helpful.

An additional possibility for building awareness is the use of a checklist, index, or assessment that can provide a snapshot of the community’s status concerning various issues that relate to the wellbeing of the community. One example of such an instrument was the index developed for Santa Monica, California as part of its Wellbeing Project:

The Wellbeing Project measures a city in many ways at once. It digs deep into the city’s own data about what services it provides and programs it delivers. It adds Santa Monica data collected by other public and private agencies, mixes in analysis of social media posts to see what residents are saying about life in Santa Monica, and a survey to see what Santa Monica residents say about themselves. Our research teams invested more than a thousand hours filtering data across five dimensions:

• Community: Often described as “social capital,” a community with strong connections among its inhabitants can flourish in good times and withstand the tough ones.
• Place: The characteristics of the area in which people live—physical, social, environmental and economic –affect how well-being is fostered and supported.
• Learning: Education is linked to virtually all well-being outcomes, but even beyond measures of high school or college graduations, lifelong learning in and out of the classroom is a key factor of well-being.
• Health: Being and feeling healthy—or at least having the tools and resources needed to manage any health challenges—are essential to an overall sense of well-being.
• Economic Opportunity: Economic conditions, including opportunities for upward mobility, are key to creating a community in which a diverse population can live and thrive.

Another helpful tool in the initial stages of community organizing is included in the Charter Tool Box on the website of the Charter for Compassion, within a section called “Compassionate Communities,” as well as our own section on the Tool Box. The Communities Assessment on the Charter’s website currently includes 19 topics with related questions that a community group—especially an inclusive group of formal and informal community leaders as well as people who are affected by existing issues –can use as a starting point to evaluate the status of their community. Going through the topic list and questions under each topic can assist community leaders in a first step toward identifying the issues that are most important to the community. The topics are:

• Age-Friendliness
• ​Animals, Pets and Well-Being
• Child Care
• Communications, Technology Infrastructure, Media
• Community Advocacy and Outreach Beyond Our Borders
• Cultural Recognition
• Economy
• Education
• Environment
• Food
• Governance
• Healthcare
• Housing
• Human Trafficing and Slavery
• Marginalized Populations: Treatment of People
• Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Well-Being
• Religious and Interfaith Groups
• Safety
• Transportation
• Water
• Youth Empowerment

3. Share Stories. Another organization, Threshold Collaborative, has developed an approach that uses stories to promote personal, organizational, and community change. Their work integrates “story sharing, photography, video, and public art projects to document, explore and learn about issues from the perspective of the resident experts—the people living, working and going to school in our communities.”

An example of their work is a project (and now also a book) entitled A Picture is Worth, which grew out of Reading, Pennsylvania’s unwelcome distinction in a 2011 New York Times article by Sabrina Tavernise as the American city with the highest poverty rate, elevated high school dropout numbers, and extraordinarily low college-degree attainments:

A Picture is Worth is a collaborative creation that engages people in sharing and crafting powerful stories about their lives. Audio narratives of 1000 words are linked to photographed portraits through easy to access technology, giving voice to the person whose photo hangs before you. The experience is at once intimate and powerful, helping the viewer to listen deeply and develop connections and understanding. A Picture is Worth is being used to share insights and create awareness about issues as diverse as domestic/sexual violence, teen parenting, youth leadership development and local food sustainability.

Encouraging Empathy

For those working to bring positive change and well-being to their own communities, the lesson is clear: people need to see and feel—and to empathize with – the suffering of other beings, to have it made real for them in a vivid and realistic way, in order to tap into their own well of compassion and reach out to help. How can we encourage the development of empathy?

1. Provide First-Hand Experiences. If homelessness is an issue, for example, it is in witnessing the pain and suffering of people experiencing homelessness—perhaps by talking to homeless people, or visiting or volunteering at a shelter–more so than simply getting information about the cost to the local government and taxpayers, or the inconvenience to home or business owners, or the funding strategies and fund-raising goals of local non-profits or charities—that will move people to take compassionate action.

One example comes from a friend who shadowed a volunteer for Meals on Wheels (a nonprofit service that delivers nutritious meals to seniors living at home, unable to prepare their own meals or go out to eat, and having little or no nutritional assistance ) in order to decide whether to become a volunteer herself. As they visited the homes of each person on the list, she was taken aback by what she saw as the isolation of so many frail elderly people, and by their need not only for a nutritious meal but for connection with other human beings. While in theory she had thought it a good idea to help deliver meals, her awareness of the actual situation and the resulting empathy she felt for the receivers of this service made volunteering to help much more compelling and meaningful.

2. Read, Celebrate, and Work Together. The development of empathy in individuals may also be related to what they read, observe, think, and experience.  The broader their experience and knowledge of other people, the more likely they are to develop empathy for them.  People need to meet the “other” in their community, share their common humanity, and empathize with each other’s situation.  Opportunities to share each other’s culture, such as multicultural festivals that offer a variety of music, dance, art, and food, can encourage and increase empathy in a community. Art festivals and dramatic presentations can also serve to promote understanding and empathy in an audience.

Sharing Compassion through Art

One of many such examples of community sharing is the Appleton Art Project, in which a total of 10,436 students from kindergarten through 12th grade in Appleton, Wisconsin, were asked to illustrate their idea of compassion on a six-inch square tile. Showing thousands of different meanings for one word, the artwork within the Appleton Compassion Project, combined with a brief narrative, was turned into a special exhibition at Appleton’s Trout Museum of Art.

A number of recent studies have also cited reading fiction as a way to develop empathy and understanding of people and cultures that differ from our own (e.g., “Your Brain on Fiction” by Annie Murphy Paul). The Charter for Compassion website includes annotated lists of books, short stories, and articles that are related to compassion. By joining the Charter’s book club, people have access to a group on Facebook where they can meet to organize digital or in-person book clubs and share their insights. Some communities have also formed “Compassion Circles”, bringing people together to “be part of creating a 'wave of compassion' to transform how we care for ourselves, each other, and those most vulnerable and needing our support.”

Listening to the stories and diverse perspectives around various topics, and planning a project such as a community garden or neighborhood cleanup can also help to build empathy.  As one example, David H. Breaux went on a year-long Compassion Tour to raise awareness of compassion.  In Austin, Texas, Dr. Lesa Walker, a leader in the Compassionate Austin initiative, reached out to the Interfaith Action of Central Texas (iACT) who is offering the use of their Red Bench, a portable bench that is used to attract public discussion around a specific topic and asked David to collaborate.  David sat at the bench inviting people to share their concept of compassion.  Efforts to bring people together in these ways can plant seeds of understanding and empathy that will be helpful in creating a more compassionate community.

3. Appeal to Values. Empathy may also develop out of deeply held religious values, ethical and moral principles, gratitude accompanied by a desire to “give back,” political and economic ideals, and concern for children and grandchildren. An appeal to these sensibilities—in faith communities, in political speeches, in letters to the editor of the local paper, in radio announcements, on billboards, and in public lectures, films, and discussions – may encourage the development of empathy necessary to accomplish the work of community building.

Moving to Compassionate Action

Scientific inquiry and research has demonstrated that performing or even just observing acts of compassion (or kindness or niceness—also referred to as “pro-social acts”) – can be as contagious as a biological virus (e.g., “Cooperative Behavior Cascades in Human Social Networks” by James Fowler and Nicholas Christakis in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America). Instead of causing the flu, however, being infected by experiencing or observing such acts can cause “elevation,” a joyous lifting of one’s heart and mind. To put it more clinically, we experience an emotional response to witnessing others’ acts, which make us feel unselfish, often with a desire to act similarly.

Elevation

You can try out the idea of elevation for yourself by watching a short video about a boy who has no coat and is shivering in the cold at a bus stop in Norway. The video was filmed as an experiment by the Norwegian branch of the SOS Children’s Villages International charity as part of a campaign to provide warm clothing for displaced children in Syria. As you will see, many bystanders were moved to offer their coats or gloves to the child.

The challenge for the SOS Children’s Villages International is, however, to make the connection between that child sitting in the cold and other children who are suffering even more in war-torn Syria. Bystanders could see for themselves that the child was suffering from the cold, which they could feel as well. They were able to empathize, to feel the child’s pain, and that led them to have compassion and offer comfort, even though that meant for some of them that they would be without gloves or a coat themselves. How can we reach people within our own communities? What will move them beyond recognizing and empathizing to taking action?

1. Contagion of Compassionate Actions. One hopeful approach stems from research that demonstrates the contagion of compassionate actions. A research study conducted by James Fowler, associate professor in political science at UC San Diego and Nicholas Christakis, professor of sociology, medicine, and medical sociology at Harvard, provided the first laboratory evidence that cooperative behavior is contagious and that it spreads from person to person to person. They demonstrated that when people benefit from kindness they "pay it forward" by helping others who were not originally involved, creating a cascade of cooperation that influences dozens more in a social network.

Our work over the past few years, examining the function of human social networks and their genetic origins, has led us to conclude that there is a deep and fundamental connection between social networks and goodness," said Christakis. "The flow of good and desirable properties like ideas, love and kindness is required for human social networks to endure, and, in turn, networks are required for such properties to spread. Humans form social networks because the benefits of a connected life outweigh the costs.”

2. Paying It Forward. The research around elevation and the potential to create a chain-reaction of compassion provides hope for the idea that in any community (and perhaps in the global community) we can unleash a revolution of compassion by “paying it forward,” committing to act with compassion for anyone we happen to interact with throughout the day.

• —While shopping at the market, for example, we might help someone unload the items from their basket or perhaps take a moment to talk with the cashier who has had to cope with a difficult customer.
• —We may listen patiently to the technician at the dentist’s office who is worried about an aging parent or a difficult teenager.
• —While driving in traffic, we can make it a point to be especially considerate of other drivers, bicyclists, and pedestrians.
• —If we are serving customers in a restaurant, a friendly attitude and willingness to be helpful (even with rude customers) can be the catalyst that influences those customers to act compassionately on their own.
• Attending a meeting at the office, we can be alert to those who are feeling ignored or bullied and provide encouragement or speak up against the bully.
• We can be compassionate in talking with telemarketers, caring for children, or talking to a homeless person on the street. The opportunities for such actions are endless.

Each of our compassionate acts can result in more compassionate actions, thus reaching far beyond the initial action. The spread of compassion from person to person is the topic of a recent documentary film, Kindness is Contagious, directed by David Gaz. The film is based on a simple premise: “…many small acts of kindness may make more of a difference than a few big ones.” The thought is that kindness is viral, and the documentary captures small acts of kindness, interspersed with commentary about the nature of kindness and the benefits it can have for individuals, for health, for social well-being and for community.

3. The Sum is Greater Than Its Parts. In their book Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, renowned scientists Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler use the metaphor of the “bucket brigade” to emphasize the increased effectiveness of people working in connected networks as opposed to the same number of people working as individuals. For example, if a house is burning and a hundred people (who happen to have buckets) carry buckets back and forth from the river to douse the fire, they will be ten times less effective in putting out the fire than a line of people passing buckets of water from the river to the fire. The immense power of social networks is one that we, as community builders, need to harness.

While individual acts of compassion are to be encouraged, often they may not be enough to influence long-standing, entrenched, and emotionally-laden issues within a community—gang violence, drug use, domestic violence, police brutality, homelessness, racial injustice, chronic hunger, and prejudice against immigrants. Even those of us who feel great compassion around these issues may feel powerless and perhaps hopeless in trying to resolve them on an individual basis.

But once we are able to tap into our capacity for compassion, and join our efforts with others who feel the same—a kind of bucket brigade –we are better equipped to seek ways to relieve the pain and suffering that we may have pushed aside and tried to ignore. Together, the possibility for increasing compassion within the community grows exponentially. At the same time, our compassionate actions have a positive influence on others, not unlike the spread within social media of “viral videos” that depict particularly tender, comic, or heroic moments in the lives of people throughout the world.

Developing and Promoting Compassion

It is certainly true that people within every faith tradition and in every nation across the Earth yearn for a more compassionate and peaceful world in which all people—and the Earth itself—can experience less suffering and greater well-being for themselves, their families, their communities, and their environment. But how can we inspire more people to understand the urgency of joining together with compassion, to take responsibility and care for one another?

Recent developments in positive psychology, emotional intelligence, meditation practices, and mindfulness training all hold out the hope that we humans can teach and learn the skills that will help us extend the hands of compassion to others. We offer a few suggestions here for how to develop and promote compassion in individuals and within the community:

Teach and Learn Compassion

• Scientific research into the measurable benefits of compassion indicates that individuals can benefit personally by learning to be more compassionate. Compassion training programs for adults are underway at several institutions including Stanford University, Emory University, and the University of California, Berkeley. While findings are still preliminary, the research suggests that compassion can be learned, that formal training can help, and also that being compassionate can improve health, well-being, and the quality of relationships.
• The Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley indicates that many scientists believe that compassion may even be vital to the survival of our species. On the Greater Good website you can read about some of their research findings, which include benefits of compassion for the health and happiness of individuals, parents, spouses, friends, and employees. Communities, of course, are made up of all the people and relationships on this list. The hope is that as compassion increases in individuals, that compassion will spread to others—from family members to total strangers—to create a more compassionate community.
• Another useful tool for bringing people together is provided by the Compassionate Listening Project, a non-profit organization that offers the services of independent facilitators who offer training in their Compassionate Listening curriculum. They are dedicated “to empowering individuals and communities to transform conflict and strengthen cultures of peace.”
• Author Olivia McIvor, in her book Turning Compassion into Action, provides some practical suggestions for those who want to reach beyond themselves to develop their compassion. In discussing the sense of loneliness that seems to pervade everyday life in our technological society, McIvor asks, “What would compassion do?” to bridge the gap for individuals who are feeling lonely or isolated. She suggests:
  
  • Create a new circle of friendship
  • Meet someone from another generation
  • Talk to a neighbor
  • Create or join a compassion club
  • Reach beyond your current boundaries
  • Identify what makes you feel included and forward that to someone else
  • Volunteer in your community
  • Commit to a conscious act of kindness every week
  • Ensure everyone feels valued, respected, and heard
  • Acknowledge someone you usually ignore
  • Ask, “What do you think?”
  • Listen with love

Gain Emotional Intelligence Skills

The skills that contribute to the various components of emotional intelligence (often called EI, or EQ)—self-awareness, self-management, awareness of and interaction with others, and resilience—can provide an excellent foundation for community builders in their work to bring awareness, build empathy, and move people to compassionate action within their communities. Emotional intelligence may be viewed as prerequisites to the development of compassion.

One of the foundational aspects of emotional intelligence, for example, is self-awareness, which includes “emotional literacy,” the ability to identify your feelings and emotions in a given moment so that you can then learn how to manage them. Emotional literacy, like other skills of emotional intelligence, can be taught and learned. Empathy—the ability to recognize and identify with the emotions of others—is another significant aspect of emotional intelligence training. A well-developed sense of empathy, or “emotional resonance” with another, paves the way for the development of satisfying and productive relationships. It can also result in a greater understanding and a more compassionate view of all beings and their suffering.

Build Compassion Education in the Schools

While adding to the school curriculum may not be obviously related to community building, we would be remiss by not mentioning the opportunity to look to the future by introducing compassion and related concepts early and often in schools. Fortunately, there are a number of projects and curricula in many countries that purport to do just that. The Charter for Compassion website includes a great many resources in this vein and also invites schools and institutions of higher learning to sign the Charter for Compassionate Schools.

Join Efforts with Others in a Global Compassion Movement

In the past fifty years or so, largely due to technology and new modes of transportation and communication, we have moved closer to the realization that we can no longer live in isolated communities, that we are indeed interconnected and interdependent. As a species, we can build on and extend familial compassion to an extended or blended family, to friends, and perhaps to acquaintances who share our community (a neighborhood, a school or college, a town or city, a state or province, or even a country). Efforts to foster and build awareness, empathy, and compassion in our own communities may lead to efforts on a larger scale—toward the realization of a world of peaceful co-existence.

 It is our task as members of the community to nurture those seeds of compassion in each other, so that they thrive, flourish, and make us capable of assisting all beings who are suffering or in pain in any way, both in our own communities and in every place on Earth.

The Charter for Compassion

In 2008, author and religious historian Karen Armstrong won the $100,000 TED prize for her wish to create, launch, and propagate a global compassion movement based on the golden rule. She worked with a group of scholars and religious leaders from all over the world to write what is now known as the Charter for Compassion, launched in 2009. As a document that sets out the basic principles by which the signatories agree to live, the Charter has inspired many thousands of individuals, who have signed on to it and have committed themselves to “make compassion a clear, luminous, and dynamic force” toward creating a “peaceful global community.”

In addition, the document inspired the establishment of an organization, the Charter for Compassion, which operates as a “network of networks”—our own version of the bucket brigade – to connect individuals, organizations, and institutions, as well as several hundred compassionate communities worldwide, which are already making compassion their focus and motivating force. The vision articulated by Charter for  Compassion is the following:

We envision a world in which compassion and compassionate action, as articulated in our Charter, will become a transformative energy, motivating individuals and communities to care for each other, to relieve suffering wherever it is found, and to connect to other communities across the globe to ensure well-being for all beings on the planet.

Charter for Compassion invites individuals, groups and organizations, and communities of all sizes to sign the Charter and join in working for a more compassionate world. The organization’s vision is to connect individuals, organizations, and institutions that are working to make compassion central to their daily activities in their own communities toward realizing its global vision.

Imagine what our 21st-century world would be like if somehow we reached that proverbial “tipping point” where people all over the globe took conscious notice of their everyday thoughts and actions within their local communities so that they treated other beings with compassion. What if individual hearts and minds were transformed so that, like Ebenezer Scrooge, we became conscious of the suffering of all other beings with whom we share the world?

What if we were able to take responsibility and look beyond our differences—of gender, age, educational background, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, ethnicity, physical or mental ability, or any other difference that keeps us apart—to care for one another? How would this change our communities? How might it transform our world community?

Challenges, Issues, and Reflection Questions

While the vision of a compassionate world is a compelling one, there is much work to be done in developing compassion in individuals, in communities, and throughout the world. We offer the following questions to encourage your thoughts and ideas about how to accomplish this great work:

• In a society in which wealth, fame, possessions, and physical beauty are constantly held up before us in the media, how do we encourage compassion and compassionate action within our communities? How can a modern-day “Scrooge” find that reservoir of inner compassion?
• Should we extend compassion to those who have committed heinous crimes? To people living with mental illness? To those who declare hatred of some other group(s)? To those who have personally injured or offended us or our loved ones?
• Can “pro-social” actions be effective if they are not motivated by compassion? What if such seemingly compassionate actions are based on selfish or self-aggrandizing motives—improving one’s status in the community, for example?
• How do we create healthy boundaries so that, like Avalokitesvara, we don’t experience “compassion fatigue” or fall into hopelessness?
• What about those individuals who did not experience “familial compassion” in their upbringing and might seemingly be incapable of compassion? We know now, for example, that many infants who were abandoned to overcrowded and understaffed orphanages developed later difficulties in relating successfully to other people. Can such people learn compassion?
• When faced with a “compassion predicament,” how do we choose our response? How do we decide on the “limits” for compassion?

In Summary

• Compassion is a quality—an asset—that most of us are born with and that first develops in the caregiver-infant bond. This fact provides hope for further igniting and encouraging compassion in individuals, in groups, in communities, and in the world community.
• Compassion has a fundamental role to play in resolving the challenges of our 21st-century world, and now, more than ever before, is urgently needed to assist the more than seven billion humans on the Earth in finding a way to care for each other and for the planet.
• Experiencing the suffering of others, acquiring empathy for the suffering of all beings, reaching out to help with compassionate action, and feeling the “elevation” that happens when we perform or observe acts of compassion are all qualities that can be developed through awareness, experience, and training. And all are significant concepts to keep in mind in community building, for they can improve the well-being of any community.
• Research findings in the neurosciences and psychology, emotional intelligence, meditation, and mindfulness can also play beneficial roles in developing self-compassion and compassion for others.
• Each individual act of compassion can have far-reaching effects. The everyday compassion we show to family members, friends, and those we interact with daily in business and in the community is the fuel that will carry us to a world of well-being and peace.

Example: Letters of Love

In Cincinnati, they understand that the reason that so many babies are dying in their community is complex. They also know that many women in their community feel alone and frightened during pregnancy.

The majority of infants who die in Cincinnati are born to single moms who report that they don’t have the social or emotional support that they need. Women in the most vulnerable neighborhoods report that pregnancy too often feels like a time of constant judgement. Cradle Cincinnati calls people to “Imagine instead, if it felt like a time of unconditional support from their entire city.” Cradle Cincinnati invites community members to write a letter of encouragement to a currently pregnant woman in the city. They collect the letters and hand-deliver them to women during their prenatal doctor appointments.

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

• An introduction to being charitable

• A working definition of “being charitable”

• The importance and benefits of being charitable

• How being charitable is good for you

• Being charitable and its community consequences

• Some potential challenges to being charitable

• How to become more charitable

 

 

An Introduction to Being Charitable

As noted in the Overview section, being charitable towards others is a spiritual asset—one that can contribute to community building. Some might even maintain that it is impossible to build a sense of belonging and community without some form of charitable practice.

An illustration is the South African view of community referred to as “Ubuntu,” which is usually translated as, “I am because of who we are.” Retired Archbishop and social rights activist Desmond Tutu believes that Ubuntu is the very essence of what it is to be human:

“You can’t be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality—Ubuntu—you are known for your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole World. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.” [https://www.tutufoundationuk.org/ubuntu-youth-project]

This value, or way of life—Ubuntu—suggests a way of thinking, seeing, and acting in the world that we will explore in this section. 

Tutu refers to being charitable as being someone with “generosity.” Whether you call it charity or generosity, each word translates to giving of one’s self for another, for the greater good of the community. This can be the giving of one’s time or finances, or something as simple as offering nonjudgmental and kind words.

Through charity or generosity of self, we create a deeper sense of community with each other. We begin to see ourselves as one—one community—connected with each other through Ubuntu. We begin to understand, and to acknowledge, that we are interdependent in a respectful and supportive way.

As human beings, as a social clan, we have a need to live within supportive environments where we are nurtured and can thrive together, where there is a strong commitment to the well-being of the community as a whole. We are fundamentally designed to live this way. Being charitable towards one another is not just “a nice thing to do”; it is an imperative for our survival as humans, and for our well-being as a local and global community.

A WORKING DEFINITION OF “BEING CHARITABLE”

Based on your individual experiences, you may have your own meaning for the word charity, or charitable behavior. The definition that we shall use for this section of the Community Tool Box is that charitable behavior creates feeling, which leads one to act voluntarily with kindness or goodwill towards another.

There are a number of synonyms or similar words to describe charity or charitable behavior that may be more comfortable for you; perhaps they resonate more with your values and beliefs. Here are a few based on Merriam-Webster dictionary definitions:

• Altruism: “unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of other’s feelings and behavior that show a desire to help other people and a lack of selfishness”
• Benevolence: “disposition to do good: (a): an act of kindness, (b): a generous gift”
• Compassion: “a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc.; sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it”
• Generosity: “the quality of being kind, understanding, and not selfish: the quality of being generous; especially: willingness to give money and other valuable things to others”

That said, what words or phrases you use to define charity are not as important as taking some form of action to support those who are in need.

In your community, one person may volunteer six hours a month of his time to a homeless shelter, serving meals cheerfully and making everyone smile. Another person may donate money to the same shelter, yet never enter its doors. Another may offer her knowledge and skills by teaching a class on literacy once a month to the shelter’s clientele. All of these are examples of charity and of charitable behavior.

There are many ways one can be charitable to others. There is no one right way, only your way—the way that feels right for you.

Four Aspects of Charity

More specifically, some ways to be charitable include:

Time: Giving of one’s time, however long or short that may be. Giving time is not so much about quantity, as it is about quality—about being present with another to support them in a “hands on” way. This might mean serving meals in that shelter, helping out during disaster relief, volunteering to drive seniors to appointments, baking dinner for a sick neighbor, or any number of activities that help you get to know those you are serving.

Essence: Giving of one’s personal energy and vitality. You may have some personal qualities in abundance and want to share them with others – enthusiasm, hope, grace, gratitude, patience, love – or you may want to increase these qualities in your own life. Each of these qualities brings energy to the space you share with someone when you are truly present with them. Examples: Hearing an exhausted young mother laugh; listening patiently while a man struggles to share his story of being out of work; offering encouragement to someone who feels disheartened. Your own energy and vitality shifts to being more positive and optimistic when you share your authentic self with another.

Talent: Giving of one’s skills and knowledge, such as teaching, gardening, cooking, knitting, or singing; or sharing wisdom from life experience. Everyone has gifts and talents that they are passionate about. These talents come easily and give you joy when you have a chance to express and share them.

Money: Giving of one’s financial resources to provide aid, food, shelter, or clothing; or making a donation to a local or global cause. The sum of money given is not as important as the spirit of the gift. You could start off by giving what you can afford, knowing that even spare change is helpful, and then increase the amount when you are ready, willing, and able to do so.

You may want to take time to think about these four aspects of being charitable and evaluate which ones have most meaning for you and where to begin. You may also want to reflect on these questions:

• Do you have time, but limited funds to give; or do you have money, but limited time? What can do you for others with your time or money?
• Is taking a more personal approach, one where you would work side by side with others, more appealing to you; or do you prefer a more hands-off approach—where you give openhandedly, but don’t need or want to meet the recipients of your generosity?

There is no right or wrong answer—your answer is your personal choice. Once you determine what is most important to you, then you may want to begin by writing down some thoughts and ideas that come to mind on how you want to express your unique way of giving. Include names of people or organizations you may wish to support.   Being charitable doesn’t need to be complicated; a simple gesture can be meaningful to the receiver. Now you may be more ready to share yourself with others.

THE IMPORTANCE AND BENEFITS OF BEING CHARITABLE

Being Charitable Enriches the Giver and the Receiver

There are rewards to being charitable, both for the giver and the receiver. Not only are you being helpful to those in need, you are developing positive character traits and behaviors in yourself. Charitable work allows you to see life from someone else’s perspective—their struggles and hardships, their triumphs and strengths. It is a privilege to be a witness to another’s life. And in being one, you gain appreciation and gratitude for your own life.

Martha is a manager whose young husband developed an aggressive, terminal cancer. She had her hands and heart full nursing him at home and caring for their two small children. Her co-workers organized themselves, and together they provided dinner every day, not for a month, but every day for six months. Martha’s co-workers were witness to her hardship and struggle, and they responded. They appreciated a need greater than their own. They were inspired to draw on the positive character traits and qualities that live within us all—caring, generosity, selflessness.

Martha’s story showcases how the act of charity in a workplace makes it a community. Because of her co-workers, Martha was able to concentrate on what was important during those precious few months before her husband’s passing.

Many nonprofit community organizations devote themselves to helping those who are suffering from hardship. They seek compassionate volunteers; they offer them the privilege of witnessing someone else’s life by lending a helping hand. By sharing what gifts they have to offer, volunteers receive a gift—they discover and nurture the best within themselves.

On its website, the U.S.-based nonprofit Share the Care states, “Whether you are a burned out caregiver or a novice caregiver, or a friend who wants to help, you can benefit from a system that lets everyone share responsibilities, creates a strong support network among the individual caregivers, and leads to making a profound difference in someone’s life.”

Similar to other website resources like CaringBridge and Lotsa Helping Hands, Share the Care’s mission is connecting caring citizens with citizens going through difficult times in their lives. They are creating small temporary communities of giving within the larger community.

When you give yourself the privilege of being a kind presence in someone else’s life, you will make a difference in theirs and learn a quiet appreciation and gratitude for your own.

Charitable Behavior and the Golden Rule

We all wish to be treated with respect and dignity, and to feel valued and listened to. In the spirit of charity, we would strive to do the same for others. One way to look at this principle is through the lens of reciprocity, known to many as the “Golden Rule,” which states, “Do to others as you wish done to you.” Here is an ethical code that instructs us to treat others the way we would want to be treated.

Although different cultures and faith traditions might have different words and language, all human cultures have a version of the Golden Rule. It advises us to treat our neighbors, families, and colleagues as we would wish to be treated, and shows how we can all apply empathy, understanding, and right action as our moral guideposts.

Depending upon your age or upbringing, you might remember the Golden Rule (or something similar) being introduced into your school, as part of your family values, or as a faith-based principle. It is a universal ethic, with the power to cut across gender, culture, age, beliefs, and social-economic status.

Wisdom traditions, such as the Golden Rule, date far back in our collective history and are expressed in a multitude of societies – both as lay philosophies, and as the vital cornerstone of the vast majority of faith traditions.

The text box below showcases how the Golden Rule is expressed in different faiths. You may also enjoy listening to youth reading the many expressions of the Golden Rule on this video:

 

 

The Golden Rule in Different Faith Traditions

In alphabetical order, each reads:

• Baha’i Faith: “Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself.” Baha’u’llah Gleanings
• Buddhism: “Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” The Buddha, Udana-Varga 5:18
• Christianity: “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.” Jesus, Matthew 7:12
• Confucianism:” One word which sums up the basis of all good conduct ~ loving kindness. Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.” Confucius Analects 15:23
• Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.” Mahabharata 5:1517
• Islam: “Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.” The Prophet Muhammad, Hadith
• Jainism: “One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated.” Mahavira, Sutrakritanga
• Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest in commentary.” Hillel, Talmud; Shabbat 31a
• Native Spirituality: “We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive.” Chief Dan George
• Sikhism: “I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all.” Guru Granth Sahib, p. 1299
• Taoism: “Regard your neighbor’s gain as our own gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.” Lao Tzu, T’ai Shang Kan Ying P’ien, 213-218
• Unitarianism: “We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” Unitarian principle
• Zoroastrianism: “Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to yourself.” Shayast-na-Shayast 13.29

Applying the Golden Rule

The Golden Rule is reciprocal because of its “give and take” intention. Reciprocity is created when one positive action generates another positive action and the cycle continues—a charitable word inspires a charitable action, which inspires another and yet another. Imagine how business would be changed if this concept of reciprocity were applied. Or, consider how family dynamics would improve and conflicts could be resolved more readily. And then there are the communities that would come together in neighborhoods where currently the majority are strangers to one another.

In theory, of course, we all would support reciprocity and agree with the Golden Rule. However, it takes both discipline and dedication to make this a daily practice.

• It takes discipline to apply the Golden Rule to one’s life. If you did, would you have handled a particular situation differently?
• It takes discipline to apply the Golden Rule to social justice issues, education, business, or healthcare. If we did, would collaborating with stakeholders be different?
• If you embraced an expression of the Golden Rule, would you be able to act with more charity towards others? What would such action look and feel like to you?

The Golden Rule can be applied to almost any situation, whether it involves family, community, or profit and nonprofit organizations, no matter what their size. You may also want to look within your own community and contemplate how applying the concept of reciprocity may create a more sustainable approach to the environment.

The Golden Rule has the ability, when used as a value or belief, to gently pull you back to your true self, to who you are, how you want to be treated and how you want to treat others. If the philosophy of the Golden Rule resonates with you, then you may want to make some further explorations:

• In Toronto, Canada, the Scarboro Mission, a nonprofit organization, has dedicated its work to supporting interfaith dialogue. They apply the principle teaching of “do unto others” because it is a common message of hope woven into many cultures. The Scarboro Mission’s website has further useful non-denominational tools.
• The Golden Rule Project is another example of using the Golden Rule concept in schools; it provides excellent free resources to get you started.
• If you are interested in applying the Golden Rule in a variety of ways, you will find additional activities in the Tools section.

HOW BEING CHARITABLE IS GOOD FOR YOU

Recent Research

An abundance of research reveals that giving to others is just plain good for you. Research by the Greater Good Science Center in Berkeley, California, for instance, supports the beliefs that being generous with others makes us happy, is good for our health, promotes social connection, evokes gratitude, and is, surprisingly, contagious.

In addition, Dr. Stephen Post, Executive Director of the Unlimited Love Institute, a nonprofit organization, suggests that we are hardwired to be charitable. He says:

“There is a care-and-connection part of the brain. Brain studies show this profound state of joy and delight that comes from giving to others. It doesn't come from any dry action – where the act is out of duty in the narrowest sense, like writing a check for a good cause. It comes from working to cultivate a generous quality – from interacting with people. There is the smile, the tone in the voice, the touch on the shoulder. We're talking about altruistic love.”

You might begin your own research on the positive effects of being charitable to others by checking out the research done by these academic sources:

• Stanford University has established a world-renowned center aptly named the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE). Using a multidisciplinary approach, the Center’s objective is to conduct research on compassion and altruism.
• At the University of California, Berkeley, the Greater Good Science Center conducts research in compassion as well as the six additional topics of gratitude, mindfulness, forgiveness, happiness, empathy, and altruism. Using podcasts, articles, discussion forums, and events, the Center showcases its studies and many other outstanding bodies of research under one roof.
• New York’s Stony Brook University has founded the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care, and Bioethics. The Center works with over 40 universities to better understand and teach compassionate care and its positive side effects.

Positive Side Effects – “Helpers High”

Further research suggests that charitable behavior is the gift that keeps on giving back to the giver. “Helper’s High” is a common phrase that originated in the late 1980’s with Allan Luks, who at the time was the Executive Director of the global Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization. Luks was curious about the side effects of committing charitable acts and surveyed a sample of 3,000 adult volunteers. When the results came in, an astounding number of those surveyed – 95 percent – experienced positive sensations or feelings after volunteering their services.

Continuing his research in 2001, Luks and co-author Peggy Payne wrote a book called The Healing Power of Doing Good –The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others. The authors define Helper’s High as a “euphoric feeling, followed by a long period of calm, experienced after performing a kind act.” Their research also indicated that individuals who experience Helper’s High routinely reported that they experienced fewer colds, an increase in joy and self-esteem, less stress, and even less physical pain.

You have probably discovered after reading this section that it is pretty hard to find an excuse as to why being kind and charitable to others could possibly be bad for you. There is no downside to being of service to others, as it supports both you and the receiver.

BEING CHARITABLE AND ITS COMMUNITY CONSEQUENCES

Everyone has the opportunity to express themselves in a charitable way – from giving smiles, volunteering services, or donating money. All are impactful and generous acts in their own way and necessary in our complex world. With so many charitable ways to give, Charity Navigator aims to help givers make informed decisions about spending their time or money. Charity Navigator distinguishes charitable classifications, conducts evaluations, gives ratings, and then pulls all this information together to report on charities that have a regional and global impact.

Another organization, the World Giving Index run by Charities Aid Foundation (CAF) in the United Kingdom, has a mission “to motivate society to give ever more effectively, helping to transform lives and communities around the world.” Each year this Foundation studies 135 countries and ranks them based on the charitable behaviors and actions of their citizens performed in the last 30 days, specifically (1) donations of money, (2) volunteering of time, and (3) helping a stranger.

• If someone asked you these three questions about your charitable actions in the last 30 days, how would answer them?
• How would your business, nonprofit, or congregation answer as a group?

Current trends seem to be positive. Quoting directly from the Key Findings and Conclusions of the World Giving Index 2015 Report:

“This year’s index shows welcome increases in the numbers of people giving their money, volunteering their time and helping strangers...the index shows high levels of generosity in countries facing turmoil – reflecting a pattern of giving in post-conflict nations as people help others through the most difficult of times. And it shows people’s innate desire to help others, even in nations which do not have anything like the standard of living enjoyed in the West.”

Of the 135 countries, first place in the World Giving Index is shared by Myanmar and the United States.

Giving and Happiness

In addition, the World Giving Index survey also showed that happiness had more influence than wealth on how much money was given away. This finding connects well with other research, which shows us that the happier you are, the more optimistic you are about yourself, your actions, and those around you. In 2007, a study at Syracuse University noted that people with giving dispositions were 42 percent more likely than non-givers to declare they were “very happy” and 25 percent more likely to report they were “in excellent health.”

Happiness, it seems, instills us with a desire to make the world a better place. The inspiration to contribute to a deeper sense of belonging and community grows within.

• What do happiness and generosity look and feel like to you?
• Have you noticed that the happier you are, the more generous you are?

Focusing on Collective Happiness

There are communities that subscribe to cultivating collective happiness as a standard for living. The country of Bhutan has become known worldwide for the creation of the Gross National Happiness Index (GNH). The GNH index uses nine domains (psychological well-being, time use, community vitality, cultural diversity, ecological resilience, living standards, health, education, and good governance) to provide a breakdown of happiness that is in alignment with Bhutanese culture.

The GNH Index sees the pursuit of happiness as a community or collective happiness, although it is also experienced individually. Jigme Thinley, the first elected Prime Minister of Bhutan, spoke about the concept of happiness and community:

“We have now clearly distinguished the ‘happiness’ … in GNH from the fleeting, pleasurable ‘feel good’ moods so often associated with that term. We know that true abiding happiness cannot exist while others suffer, and comes only from serving others, living in harmony with nature, and realizing our innate wisdom and the true and brilliant nature of our own minds.”

SOME POTENTIAL CHALLENGES TO BEING CHARITABLE

Extending Charity Beyond the Home

One of the challenges of being charitable to others is where to begin. “Charity begins at home” is an ethic many have grown up with. For certain, we have a responsibility to care for our loved ones by taking care of family and relatives. However, in order for communities to flourish, we must strive to widen our circle to include others.

Karen Armstrong, author of Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, writes, "We are all intimately connected globally. Charity begins at home but can't end there. We must have concern for everyone.”

You may want to think about ways to explore this concept of charity by extending your goodwill to those you don't know in your immediate vicinity. Some examples:

• Offer to watch the home of next-door neighbors while they are away.
• Shovel snow for an elderly couple.
• Volunteer your talents to mentor youth at a community center.
• Support local environmental groups by picking up litter in parks or planting trees.

It is important to look around your neighborhood—is there anywhere you can see an immediate need?

The Latin word for charity is “caritas,” meaning “unconditional love.” Loving your neighbor as yourself and giving generously in some way to those in need are expressions of a compassionate person; they are core beliefs woven into religious and secular traditions around the world.

Seeking Charitable Models

There are many ways to give, based on traditions, personal beliefs, and values. Many people wonder if how or what they gives matters.

We know we can measure the amount of money people donate. Yet, it seems that something else truly powerful plays a deeper role in giving. Monetary data may be helpful, educational, and enlightening, but do they capture the full essence of charitable action? Perhaps not, for in addition to giving money, people generally want to make a difference in the lives of others.

Consider the following example: Giving Tuesday, the global day of charity, was launched in 2012. Individuals, businesses, and nonprofits have jumped on board to belong to something bigger than themselves. In a few short years, Giving Tuesday has grown to include 68 countries. Its official website reads, “We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals (Black Friday and Cyber Monday). Now, we have #GivingTuesday, a global day dedicated to giving back.”

The first Tuesday in December is a designated day during which “charities, families, businesses, community centers, and students around the world will come together for one common purpose: to celebrate generosity and to give. It’s a simple idea. Just find a way for your family, your community, your company, or your organization to come together to give something more. Then tell everyone you can about how you are giving. Join us and be a part of a global celebration of a new tradition of generosity.”

Giving Tuesday asks people to do one charitable act on that day as a run-up to Christmas Day. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, there are many other holidays that Giving Tuesday can be attached to. The organizers of this online movement want to “spread the word that Giving Tuesday is a movement for everyone who wants to give something back.” This giving back can take multiple forms: volunteering one’s time, making a financial donation to your favorite charity, or giving a helping hand to a neighbor locally or globally.

You may also want to learn more about the Compassion Games, designed to create a fun community-driven initiative around committing acts of kindness in the spirit of “coopetition” instead of competition.

The Crossroads of Charity: Fix, Help, or Serve

In recent years the question "how can I help?" has become more meaningful to many people as they expand their awareness from “charity begins at home” to their community at large. As this shift takes place in your life, perhaps there is a deeper question you might consider. Perhaps the real question is not "how can I help?" but, rather, “how can I be of service?"

There are clearly times when you can fix a situation for some people. For example, you might donate some of your family’s food or clothing to people affected by a local disaster. There are other times when you can help another person out of a tough situation – so you might help a senior to run errands after an operation; or, as the owner of a local sandwich shop, you might sell sandwich tokens to your customers to give to the poor or homeless in your area. There are also times and places where you might serve by giving of your skills or expertise to a community organization – for instance, by coaching a football team of at-risk youth, or by being on the board of a local co-operative.

All of these – fixing, helping, and serving – are good and necessary in different places and times. At a deeper level, fixing, helping, and serving are also related to how we see the intended recipient of our charity; and therein lies the opportunity for self-reflection by all of us who give to and for other people.

As the giver of charity, you may want to spend some time discerning how you approach fixing, helping, and serving. Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen (www.rachelremen.com), a Clinical Professor of Family and Community Medicine at the UCSF School of Medicine, notes an important distinction among the three. The key is that we are all equal human beings. Charity should bring us together, not drive us farther apart.

Here are some thoughts of Dr. Remen’s, adapted for this section, for you to consider further:

Fixing: When we choose to “fix” something we need to keep in mind that many things do require fixing; however, people are not gadgets or things. When we choose to “fix” someone, we run the risk of treating them as being broken, or judging them for not being perfect, somehow incomplete. There is a time and place where fixing a situation is imperative. Be careful of your intentions, however, if you give your time, talents, or treasure because you believe that the recipients need to be “fixed.” While fixing might alleviate someone’s pain in the short term, in the long term it may hurt and demean the recipient.

Helping: When we choose to “help,” we need to be careful not to create a relationship founded on seeing one another as unequal, thus creating an imbalance of power. If I see you as needing my “help,” I may perceive you as weaker than I am. Dr. Remen reminds us that “People feel this inequality. When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity, and wholeness.”

Helping in the moment may well be lifesaving; however, over the long term, seeing the recipient as needing your help may cause anger, resentment, and damage to the relationship. It is important to keep the self-respect of the recipient of our charitable act intact when we choose to fix or help in the short term.

Serving: On the other hand, when we make a decision to “serve” others, we are recognizing that we have all had difficult lives in different ways. Each of us has limitations and triumphs. In serving, we choose to see ourselves and others as whole. We use our life experiences to serve others, and when we serve from the whole of who we are, we strengthen and grow. We know we are not defined by our circumstances—we are all equals to one another. We are connected. And Dr. Remen says, "We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected.”

Serving happens when I am more engaged with the recipient and know more about who they are. Serving, for example, might be exemplified by a banker who offers free budgeting advice to single mothers so they can better manage their money. The banker knows that she or he will have to spend some time with the single mothers to give them the best advice for their financial needs.

On the surface then, fixing, helping, or serving all have their place. We are more effective in our charity, though, when we are being present for another. When we treat each other as equals, we imbue ourselves with purpose and offer belonging and hope to others. And when we let someone know, “You are important and I am here for you,” charity can then become magical.

• In being charitable to others, have you noticed whether you tend to perceive people differently when you are “fixing,” “helping,” or “serving”?
• Upon reflection, how does Dr. Remen’s model resonate with how you see or are present with others?
• Is there anything you would want to do differently to meet the sustainable needs of your clients or community? If so, what might that be, and how would you >express it?

Fixing, helping, and serving are all acts of being charitable in different ways. What is most important is to offer up compassion, a non-judgmental place of accepting people exactly where they are in life, not where you think they could or should be. Being charitable can be difficult, because we may not be certain of what to do or say when a fellow human being is afflicted with any form of pain or discomfort. The key is to listen—and to know that your presence alone will speak volumes for you.

HOW TO BECOME MORE CHARITABLE

Choosing the Best Way to Give

Mother Teresa offered up enough charity for many lifetimes with her humanitarian efforts. She offered this advice about giving from abundance versus acting with abundance. She said: “Do not give from your abundance. I don’t want your money. Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they [those in need] need your hearts to love them."

She went on to encourage people to make physical efforts to help the impoverished and to spend time with them, rather than simply writing a check. Mother Teresa’s reflections on giving are thought-provoking when considering whether you want to make a financial donation, give your time, or a combination of both. We have discussed how meaningful and personal interaction and reciprocity are in community building. Charity may be like trying on different coats until you find the right fit for you and the recipient of your kindness.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the old adage that if you give a person a fish, they will eat for a day, but if you teach them to fish, they will eat for a lifetime. Yet, there are many for whom a donation can be a “hand-up” rather than merely a “hand-out.” When considering the many varied ways to be charitable, you may want to assess each situation on its own merits, making a conscious choice of whether the situation warrants giving a person a “hand-out,” such as a shelter bed for the night, or a more sustainable long-term “hand-up,” such as creating affordable housing.

The list of ways to give is endless—from your local village to your global community. If you wish to express yourself charitably through sharing financially, here are a few ideas to get you started:

• A starting choice point is whether you choose to give to a particular cause you care about, or to a multi-purpose charity. Especially if it’s a single cause, you might wish to research the performance of that charity on sites such as Charity Navigator. If you prefer a multi-purpose charity, the United Way is one of many that are well known; its mission is to “improve lives and build community by engaging individuals and mobilizing collective action.”
• Another form of charitable giving involves “micro lending” (for example, Kiva, Global Giving, or FINCA, where start-up small enterprises in various parts of the world are funded directly with the understanding they must pay back the loan. You can sometimes decide to whom you want to loan your money.
• There is also much talk and action about moving away from this “middle man” version to a more direct method from the giver to the receiver, which involves a more human touch and lasting approach. For example, Mobile Movement is an app that connects entrepreneurs in the so-called developing world with entrepreneurs in the so-called developed world in real time, using smartphones for investment, advice, collaboration, and co-learning.
• In addition, you can consider crowdfunding as a means to fund a project or venture by raising money for your cause from large groups of people using the internet. Three examples of well-established crowdfunding sites are Kickstarter, Indiegogo, and Gofundme.

Using the Four-Step RISE Framework

Some people have more time, some have more money; therefore, a variety of ways and means to act charitably is important, based on what works for you.

Investment specialist Warren Buffett, together with Rebecca Riccio, Director of the Social Impact Lab at Northeastern University, has created a free online program called Giving with Purpose to help people decide. Riccio created a method using the acronym RISE, which is a powerful framework for supporting community building. In her RISE practice, there are four questions to be considered when wanting to “give with a purpose” and help people make clearer decisions on where to invest their energy or dollars:

1. Relevance: Is the work meaningfully connected to the community, the stakeholders it serves, and the need it addresses?
2. Impact: Is the work making a difference?
3. Sustainability: Is the organization financially viable?
4. Excellence in Management Operations: Is the organization built to get the job done?

Consider the organizations, regardless of size, to which you have previously been charitable.

• Have they met these RISE criteria?
• Are these criteria important to you? Why or why not?
• Are some criteria more important than others?
• Are there other criteria you would suggest?

As you learn more about being charitable to others, you may want to think about bringing a group of people together who want to begin a conversation, and to deepen the dialogue on what you value about charity work, what you have learned thus far, and potential next steps.

Adapting and Changing Your Charitable Strategy

Being charitable to others may be as brief as a one-time interaction with someone, such as giving up your seat on the bus to an elderly gentleman; or it may be a long-term project that takes months or even years to reach fruition. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to use different methods for different situations.

Engaging in Socially Responsible Buying: The Charitable Consumer

Another way to increase our charitable consciousness and actions is to become more aware and thoughtful about what we purchase. In a global economy, what and how we choose to buy affects not only us as consumers, but, more importantly, affects the sellers.

• When you purchase merchandise, are you mindful of how the makers of the merchandise and the planet are treated?
• Do you have ethical criteria to guide what you purchase? Do you know how the product was grown or made, or if wages and trade were fair and principled?
• Are the products or services you purchase in alignment with your values? And do these products, services, and values have a positive impact on individuals and communities locally and globally?
• Is there room to express the Golden Rule in your buying habits?

A general term for socially responsible buying is “Fair Trade”—where purchases are justly traded to benefit all (producers, traders, consumers, and workers) fairly. In making a fair trade, we are making a connection between the product and its maker. We are remembering we are purchasing something made by a member of our larger community. We are contributing to everyone’s health and economic sustainability through buying responsibly.

Many of the products we purchase are from developing countries where the farmers, artisans, and factory workers are living and working in impoverished conditions. Where coffee and bananas are grown, there are Fair Trade associations supporting everything from improved education and environmental preservation to health care and community infrastructures. Coffee and bananas are just two examples of products where socially responsible buying can have an impact.

Other ways to blend socially conscious buying with charity are to buy products that give back usable dollars to worthy causes, or to invest in ethical funds that support companies practicing a “Triple Bottom Line” approach of helping people, profits, and the planet.

The late American author and founder of The Human Kindness Foundation, Bo Lozoff, wrote:

“In the midst of global crises such as pollution, wars and famine, kindness may too easily be dismissed as a soft issue or a luxury to be addressed after more urgent problems are solved. But kindness is in the greatest of need in all those areas, kindness toward the environment, toward other nations, and toward the needs of people suffering. Simple kindness may be the most vital key to the riddle of how human beings can live with each other and care properly for this planet we all share.”

We share this planet, and kindness and charitable acts are about taking a holistic approach to how we treat our global community. Being mindful of our purchases is an easy and less time-consuming way of practicing kindness and charity. We know intuitively this may have a limited return emotionally for the giver, yet it still has an impact and makes a difference—one cup of coffee or one investment at a time.

Teaching Children to Be Generous

Being generous is a part of being charitable—“she was generous with her time to help others.” But being charitable is bigger than simply being generous. It is an ethic, a way of being in the world—a way of being that takes one outside of the self, and towards other people. This ethic can be taught to children.

Generosity, as one kind of charitable behavior, is a simple concept for children to understand. Teaching children to be kind and generous in their words and actions towards others is vital for their learning how to thrive in the communities they will live in as they mature.

Michael practiced being generous to others when he turned eight years old. What young boy doesn’t want a birthday party and a room full of presents and fun? But Michael believed in the power of sharing with others less fortunate than himself. He felt he had enough toys; so he asked all his party friends to bring a gift for kids who couldn’t afford birthday parties. Then he donated all of his presents to a local children’s charity.

 

A Charitable 10 Year Old: Another great example of children’s generosity is Xavier Elliot. From his own experience of poverty, he started to use his allowance to buy fabric to make clothes for homeless kids. Xavier found a way to use his own personal background to give back.

 

 

Is there anything from your own early (or more recent) experience to support you to be more charitable? Does your own experience influence what direction or way you would want to be more charitable to others?

You may want to consider different ways to inspire generosity in your children or children you work with:

• Teach children random acts of kindness, by giving their time and actions without expecting any reward in return.
• Take on a family or group project, such as raking leaves or shoveling snow for an elderly neighbor, or learning to be kind to pets at a local animal shelter.
• Look up charitable organizations online and discuss what they are doing.
• Consider raising money for a specific charity, or encourage children to contribute a portion of their allowance.
• Talk about generosity and kindness at the dinner table, at school, or playtime.
• Allow children to pick their favorite food when grocery shopping and donate it to the food bank.
• Encourage reading books about kind and compassionate heroes.
• Have children donate their unused toys and clothing.
• Model positive and generous behaviors; then praise those behaviors in children when you observe them.

In addition, you may consider finding your own ways to celebrate national holidays in your own country that relate to the topic of charity. This is an excellent place to begin, by using those special occasions as teaching tools for positive behaviors and values. Three examples include:

• Martin Luther King Day, in the United States
• Gandhi Jayanti, to celebrate Mahatma Gandhi’s legacy in India
• Nelson Mandela National Day, in South Africa

One can draw from a large list, both locally and globally.

To educate children further on this topic, the global website of the Charter for Compassion is full of excellent global initiatives and resources for children and adults to learn more about compassion to others.

Setting a Giving Intention

One additional way to become more charitable, and to put these types of ideas into action, is setting a giving intention or purpose in your own life.

You might begin with an action closer to home—perhaps helping out a neighbor or writing a thank-you note to someone who has made a difference in your life. Express to them how important they are, how much you appreciate them, and for what reasons. Some other suggestions:

• Make a commitment. Kindness is contagious. Pledge to become a positive role model in your community, at work, in your personal life, or globally.
• Apply any of the Four Aspects of Charity (time, essence, talent, and money). Apply one that fits your personality or one that means the most to you. Try out all four methods to discover which one is most comfortable. Consider tackling one that makes you stretch as well.
• Expand your thoughts and actions outwards. Make a sincere effort to reflect the behaviors of a kind and giving person, such as assisting a friend or colleague who feels overwhelmed. Ask what you could do to be of service to them.
• Combine your methods of giving. Once the choice has been made to give, try mixing your methods so you are being generous both with your financial donation and your spirit, by giving of yourself in a “hands-on” way—roll up your sleeves and become more personally involved.
• Look around your community. Working alongside others in your community creates a deeper sense of belonging. Begin with researching charitable causes or people you are passionate about serving. Your choice should be one that you know you can connect with either on a short- or long-term basis. Volunteer your talents and skills to make a difference to this individual or group.
• Don’t judge what you can do—just do something. Start giving in small ways. A few dollars or a can of food goes a long way when added together with a collection of other donations. Communities thrive because of many small acts of kindness that make up a greater whole.
• Create positive giving habits. Random acts of charity and kindness are great; making them a conscious habit and a way of life is even better. Make it a practice to do something good for someone, or something, a minimum of two or three times a week.
• Invite in uncomfortable situations. You may not also know what to do or say, and that is okay. Remember that your actions will speak louder than words. Aim to reach out to those who make you feel uneasy, or perhaps that you may have some judgments about. By talking with a homeless person as an example, you will begin to break down barriers that cause separation and start to connect as human beings.

In Summary

Throughout this section, we have discussed various ways to be more giving and generous with our time and resources. We’ve noted the benefits to the giver and the phenomenon of “Helpers High” from our kind acts. And we’ve learned that being charitable to others is an intentional choice we make to contribute to the world around us in a more meaningful way. Having surveyed these topics, what general conclusions might we draw?

One basic conclusion is that charitable giving varies; it draws upon our own individuality. His Holiness the Dalai Lama says that “each of us has been granted a precious life and each day upon awakening our first thought should be that we are fortunate to have woken up this day and that we are very much alive. I am not going to waste it.” He further instructs us to tell ourselves. “I am going to use all of my energies to develop myself and to expand my heart out to others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” This can be done in many individual ways.

The Dalai Lama’s words may appear to set a lofty standard, and yet we cannot shift the current state of our world, locally or globally, unless we choose to make a positive contribution. Everyone has a desire for a deeper sense of connection with others.

We may also heed the words of Mother Teresa, who told an audience at the United Nations that there are many people throughout the world who are “unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and forgotten by everybody…I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” Mother Teresa’s comments apply across all cultures around the world, where many are starved from social isolation and loneliness. There is a great need for nourishment of the soul through connection and community as well as food for the physical body.

Every day, in our homes, communities, and workplaces, there is someone who requires the warmth of care, someone to unconditionally accept or forgive, or another who may require a little more patience from us in that moment. Certainly, there is no shortage of settings in which to deliver a charitable act or to hold a compassionate space for others.

What contribution will you make in being charitable to others in the next 48 hours? How can you make a difference, one person and one kind act at a time? You can begin now!

 

Olivia McIvor has spent three decades as an Organization Development specialist supporting cultures to promote connection, compassion, and community in business. She is a leadership facilitator, speaker, and author of three best-selling books: "The Business of Kindness," "Four Generations-One Workplace," and "Turning Compassion into Action." Olivia lives in Vancouver, Canada.

Tool: The Golden Rule: Additional Activities

If you are interested in exploring the Golden Rule further, here are a few additional activities:

• We suggest putting aside particular religious affiliations and concentrating on the message of the Golden Rule. One way to do this is to cover up the actual name of the faith and note only the meaning that has been written.
• Make note if there are particular words or phrases that resonate with you more than others.
• Invite children to express the Golden Rule concept through art and other creative forms.
• Hold a discussion about the Golden Rule. Can you think of times when you have lived up to these words in their entirety, as well as times when you would have chosen a different way?
• You may also want to hold a dialogue about each statement in a group setting, inviting people to explore the statements further and discuss their significance to their community and charitable work.

Image from Reconciliation Regina, a community-led process of reconciliation to honor, acknowledge, and accept responsibility for, to own, and participate in redressing the harm done from residential schools.

 

This section has grown out of the work of The Forgiveness Project, www.theforgivenessproject.com. This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion, www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

Introduction

Forgiveness and reconciliation can occur in every sphere of human experience, including individual, community, national, and trans-national levels. In this section of the Community Tool Box, we will explore these common yet complicated aspects of our human existence, describe their importance for personal and community well-being, and illustrate, with many real-life stories, how they might be applied in positive ways to heal and strengthen both individuals and communities.

In any discussion about forgiveness and reconciliation, it is important to make a distinction between the two before analyzing each of them in greater detail. On the one hand, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the wrongdoer. There may be good reasons why you do not wish to reconcile. Reconciliation is an additional choice. On the other hand, it is nearly impossible to reconcile with someone you have not gone some way to forgive.

We begin with some general thoughts about forgiveness and reconciliation, and their place in the spiritual and community worlds.

• Forgiveness is both a process and a choice, and may be both intrapersonal and interpersonal. It is a complex and enigm­atic concept, hard to pin down because it can apply in different ways to different situations; not everyone experiences it in the same manner. For some, it may result in reducing a personal hurt that makes life easier; for others, it may mean reconciling with an enemy and being able to live side by side again.
• If legislated or regulated in any way, forgiveness may become fraught with difficulty. As Richard Wilson, whose sister was murdered in Burundi, put it: “In Burundi, the rhetoric of forgiveness has been used by politicians to avoid accountability.” Similarly, John Braithwaite, a pioneer of the Restorative Justice movement, wrote: “Forgiveness is a gift victims can give. We destroy its power as a gift by making it a duty.” This means that any group movement towards forgiveness might best start with individual storytelling, without any coercion to forgive.
• However, community leaders should also understand that if community members – including both authorities and civilians – adopt a forgiving attitude, that can be a very useful public health and community-building tool; multiple studies have shown that forgiveness produces better health outcomes, helps sustain good relationships, and reduces anxiety (Exline et al, 2003; Luskin, 2002; Worthington and Scherer, 2004).
• Forgiveness may require relinquishing something that was important to you, such as giving up your moral indignation, your desire for retaliation, or your attachment to being right. Yet forgiveness is useful to community building, because people who forgive tend to be more flexible and less certain in their expectations, both in how life will be or how others will treat them. Forgiving people have chosen not to perpetuate a historical grievance; they are somehow able to turn the page, loosen themselves from the grip of the past, and reframe their own story.

• Even though there is no set method to teach forgiveness, many academics and practitioners have devised processes for people to explore on their own forgiveness journeys (Enright, 2001; Luskin, 2002; Tutu & Tutu, 2014). To persuade people to forgive who have no interest in such processes can place yet another burden on victims. But in that situation, what community builders can do is to enter into a reconciliation process by listening to the story and the pain of the “other,” then start to build empathy and understanding.
   
• Reconciliation in the context of community building assumes a need, a will, or an actual effort made on the part of an individual or a group of people to live side-by-side in peace with a person or another group they had considered to be their adversaries in the past.
• However, granting that forgiveness may aid reconciliation, it is not always a condition for the latter to unfold. There may be pragmatic reasons for communities to make a conscious decision not to seek to punish or retaliate. This is a form of “pardoning,” which may lead to reconciliation but is different from forgiveness. Just as a victim may forgive a perpetrator serving a prison sentence but still see the necessity for them to be incarcerated, equally a victim may still feel resentment towards a perpetrator but see the practical sense of not doing anything about it in order to end a cycle of violence.
• Finally, while forgiveness may be considered one’s own private business – a visceral and intimate process – reconciling with others who caused you harm or whom you hurt is an outward gesture made to re-connect with others and to renew relationships. In this sense, reconciliation lies at the heart of building and maintaining peace in a community, especially in promoting local reconciliation initiatives between divided communities and the reintegration of people released from prison back into society.
• In time, people may realize that holding on to resentment has a cost (both personally and communally), and therefore instead choose to release their bitterness and anger. Only then they can start to work on ways of developing plans to repair the harm.

With this orientation in mind, we turn to examine some key questions relating to forgiveness, reconciliation, and their community applications.

What do we mean by forgiveness and reconciliation?

Forgiveness

Definition

Forgiveness is the principled decision to give up your justified right for revenge; it also requires the forgiver to recognize that the offender is “human like myself.” As the British philosopher and poet David Whyte has written: “It is that wounded…un-forgetting part of us that…makes forgiveness an act of compassion rather than one of simple forgetting.” Following hurt, pain, or atrocity, forgiveness can potentially bring resolution and freedom. It is a practical way of preventing the pain of the past from defining the path of the future.

Categories

Forgiveness is often categorized as having two distinct forms:

• Unilateral forgiveness: This requires nothing in return. It is an act of generosity on the part of the victim(s). There can be many different motives; for instance, it may stem from compassion for an offender, the wish to free oneself from pain, or simply a pragmatic means of moving forward.
• Bilateral forgiveness: This involves an exchange. It is a contractual relationship between people or groups, dependent on apology and remorse. It is often tied up with justice, as it involves the paying of a social debt.

It's important to recognize that if you attach too many conditions to forgiveness it may become almost the opposite, with characteristics akin to being vengeful or vindictive.

Some Key Points about Forgiveness

• Process: Forgiveness is not a single magnanimous gesture in response to an isolated offense, but a longer-term, fluid, and ever-changing process where people work towards repairing broken relationships, or broken hearts.
• Recognition: Forgiveness is about recognizing that life is messy and unpredictable – that we are all fallible human beings capable of messing up. It requires a broad perspective.
• Empathy: Forgiveness is more than just accepting or letting go, because it requires a degree of empathy or compassion. It is the ability to place yourself in someone else’s life (empathy) and to act according to this empathic connection you feel towards your fellow human beings (compassion).
• Reconciliation: Forgiveness is different from reconciliation, which requires some kind of peace process and the coming together in unity of two or more formerly hostile sides.

​It’s important to note that forgiveness does not exclude a passionate or painful response to being hurt, or witnessing others being hurt. Anger, sorrow, rage, and despair are a part of the process, and may be the launching pad for forgiveness. Essentially, this means that we do not endlessly replay past gripes and grievances; it is rather the ability to live with the hurt without being held captive by it; it means not being defined by those who have hurt us and not being broken by our own victimhood.

Common Themes in Forgiveness

It would be a mistake to impose a false uniformity onto highly diverse forgiveness perspectives. Forgiveness can be viewed as a cognitive process, a narrative or journey, a philosophical position, or a combination of these. However, definitions of forgiveness have tended to express some commonality. Sells and Hargrave (1998) conducted an extensive literature review of empirical and theoretical forgiveness studies. They found that every definition or theory of forgiveness they encountered contained each of the following underlying principles:

• There is an injury or violation with subsequent emotional or physical pain.
• The violation results in a broken or fragmented relationship between parties.
• Perpetuation of injury is halted.
• A cognitive process is pursued where the painful event or action is understood or reframed with a fuller context.
• There is a release or letting go of justifiable emotion and retaliation related to the event.
• There is a regeneration of the relationship.

​Regeneration does not necessarily occur, especially when the offender cannot be communicated with (for any of a variety of reasons). But the first five elements, when combined, are good starting points in a discussion about the process of forgiveness.

Reconciliation

Definition

Reconciliation refers to the restoration of fractured relationships by overcoming grief, pain, and anger. It is, as Karen Broenus has written, “a societal process that involves mutual acknowledgment of past suffering and the changing of destructive attitudes and behavior into constructive relationships toward sustainable peace.”

The path toward reconciliation can also be described as a lifelong journey going in two directions: inward, towards self-discovery and reconciling with suffering, and outward, toward recognizing and perhaps forgiving others. It is both an intrapersonal and an interpersonal exercise, each aspect advancing the more deeply a person discovers that reconciliation is possible both within and without.

Some Key Points about Reconciliation

Reconciliation can be seen as a five-step process, including:

1. Developing a shared vision of an interdependent and fair society
2. Acknowledging and dealing with the past
3. Building positive relationships
4. Facilitating significant cultural and attitudinal change
5. Enabling substantial social, economic, and political change.

Reconciliation can also involve the reframing of identity.

Typically, this also has key elements and steps, often including:

1. Understanding the threat to people’s identity
2. Seeking to move individuals from singular affiliation to multiple identity; e.g., away from “I am a Serb” to “I am a Serb, a European, a civil rights activist, a trade unionist…etc.”
3. Deconstructing or reconstructing an individual’s identity frames
4. Separating group and individual identities
5. Dismantling of enemy images and misrepresentations that demonize the “other”
6. Looking for a common vision or threat around which to unite.

What is the importance of forgiveness for Community Building?

• Forgiveness can bring new insights
• Forgiveness can help transform attitudes
• Forgiveness can help repair broken relationships
• Forgiveness can help break the cycle of violence

​Individuals choose forgiveness for a number of reasons in times of hurt and trauma. In his book Unattended Sorrow, Stephen Levine writes that when trauma disturbs our future, deeper psychological wounds may persist; and “Long after the shrapnel is removed, the inner war continues” (Levine, 2005, p. 67).

For some, forgiveness is a personal decision as part of their own self-healing process: Forgiveness liberates people from the resentment and anger that they have carried with them. Some feel inspired to forgive, because they experience compassion for those who have hurt them; others see a spiritual value in forgiveness, because they recognize that we are all connected and are therefore each individual is in some way responsible for the pain in the world.

When it comes to the specific role forgiveness may play in community building, we can offer these propositions:

• Forgiveness can contribute to creating a foundation for dialogue.
• It can help release bitterness and anger, and facilitate the re-humanization of the “other.” This is key to the reconciliation process, which cannot happen without eradicating dehumanization.
• It can induce a shift in mindsets and transform harmful attitudes.
• It can build bridges between opposing parties, and help repair fractured relationships.
• It can help break the cycle of violence, aid post-traumatic reconciliation, build a more peaceful common future, and ultimately sustain peace.

​Forgiveness Can Bring New Insights

A first step in community building is recognizing that we are all capable of harm, given the right circumstances. The Russian author and dissident Alexander Solzhenitsyn wrote in The Gulag Archipelago: “If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” (Solzhenitsyn. 2003, p. 75).

[Note: Citations for the case examples to follow are found under the “Online Resources” heading at the end of this section.]

Case Example: Bosnia

When Kemal Pervanic, a survivor of the notorious Omarska concentration camp in Bosnia, returned to Bosnia some years after the end of the war, he recognized the cruellest of his former Serb camp guards standing by the road hitch-hiking. The image caused Pervanic to react in way that might seem surprising – he started to laugh. “What else could I do?” he explains. “I didn’t want to swear or scream or get violent. I laughed because I remembered the monster this man had been. But now, hitch-hiking alone on a dusty road, he looked almost pitiful. People describe these people as monsters, born with a genetically mutant gene, but I don’t believe that. I believe every human being is capable of killing.”

Forgiveness Can Help Transform Attitudes

Forgiveness and reconciliation in this context are therefore about shifting and even transforming people’s attitudes, prejudices, and perceptions about the “other.” Forgiveness isn’t an act of kindness born out of the victim’s generosity, but rather a re-humanizing gift emphasizing the humanity of the perpetrator. In other words, it is about reducing fear through the recognition of the human being in “the enemy.” In the softening of positions comes the acknowledgement and possibility of each side’s complicity.

Forgiveness Can Help Repair Broken Relationships

Another way forgiveness and reconciliation promote community building is that they allow people who were once hostile towards one another to live together again. Forgiving past wrongs may be a key to reconciliation between friends, family members, spouses, neighbors, races, cultures, and nations. More complete reconciliation means that we engage co-participants honestly and respectfully in the construction of a newer world through meaningful and faithful relationships. The process results in decreased motivation to retaliate or maintain estrangement from an offender despite his or her actions.

Case Example: Senegal

Salimata Badji-Knight was brought up in a Muslim community in Senegal, where she was circumcised at the age of five. “Today my three sisters work with me to stop the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM). Even my mother now understands that it’s a violation of human rights and has told me that she had never wanted to put me through FGM and had done everything in her power to protect me. Hearing this made me happy, as it created a closer relationship between the two of us and I no longer blame her for what happened to me.

In addition, before he died, I was able to have a good talk with my father. I opened my heart to him and explained how female circumcision could affect you physically and mentally. He cried and said that no woman had ever explained the suffering to him. Then he apologized and asked for forgiveness. The next day he called my relatives in Senegal and told them to stop the practice. As a result, a meeting was cancelled and 50 girls were saved.”

Forgiveness Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

Finally, forgiveness can help end violence. “It is the responsibility of the living to heal the dead.” Alexandra Asseily, founder of the Centre for Lebanese Studies in Oxford and creator of the Garden of Forgiveness in Lebanon, has spoken and written extensively about the repetitive nature of conflict; that consciously (and unconsciously) held grievances are received by each new generation through an ancestral bond that can only be released through forgiveness and compassion.

Case Example: Lebanon

Asseily has described the deep ancestral connection she felt with the “agony of war,” which manifested in her own life during the civil war in Lebanon between 1975 and 1990. She has spoken about the horror of seeing her good Christian friends destroying everything she had worked for with their Muslim neighbors. “I saw grievances being played out that went back to the Crusades,” she said, explaining why she would not wear a cross for 20 years. “It was after I came to London that I tried to make sense of my life and started to ask the question, ‘What is it that makes me at the same time human and inhuman?’”

In a similar vein, Kay Pranis, a pioneer of restorative justice in the United States, is convinced that while the victim has a right not to reconcile with the wrongdoer, the community must accept an offender when he or she transitions from prison back into the neighborhood (Cantacuzino, 2013, p. 10). “It is the community’s responsibility to reconcile with the one who has harmed, because if they do not, they set up the next victimization,” she says.

In both of the above examples, as well as in the case of the Israeli Rami Elhanan, citizens who may not be directly responsible for a conflict nevertheless take responsibility for repairing the harm. This recognition of the interconnection of all human life seems a key component of forgiveness. As the psychologist Erik Erikson (1902-1994), famous for his work on the conceptualization of identity, put it: “Living together means more than incidental proximity. It means that the individual’s life-stages are ‘interliving,’ cogwheeling with the stages of others which move him along as he moves them” (Erikson, 1964, p. 114).

What Are Favorable Conditions for Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Community Building?

There are three in particular:

• In post-conflict situations (i.e., not being in the midst of active conflict)
• In peace-building
• When the law is inadequate​

In Post-conflict Situations

Forgiveness can help reconcile two opposing sides in almost any situation. However, in the midst of violent conflict it may not be safe or expedient to talk about forgiveness. It is a concept that irks some people, and to suggest forgiveness when past grievances are currently being played out – when people are hell-bent on survival on the one hand, whilst destroying the enemy on the other – may be insensitive and counter-productive.

In Peace-building

Forgiveness can be a critical ingredient in rebuilding broken relationships and repairing damaged communities. It can be an important part of any peace-building process, and sometimes the only thing that can help divided communities move toward reconciliation. Festering trauma so easily has the capacity to become festering dehumanization; since both sides may believe there is risk in equality, they therefore adopt fear-based thinking such as: “If you’re equal to me, then you may harm me.” Sometimes it takes something radical like empathy, forgiveness, and reconciliation to break this impasse.

Case Example: England

Denise Green’s son died in 1992 in Alder Hey Children’s Hospital in Liverpool, U.K., where his organs were later used, without her permission, for research purposes. News of what had happened to Denise and hundreds of other bereaved parents caused a national scandal in England in the late 1990s with headlines such as, “Burying your baby once is bad enough – to do it again is just agony.”

Denise’s fury in the end led to forgiveness, a positive decision which not only healed her but restored relationships with the professionals. “I chose forgiveness because I did not want to be destroyed by bitterness,” she says. “What happened was out of my control, but how I respond is within my control. Subsequently, the medical profession hasn’t shut me out. I can sit down and talk to pathologists because I’m not out to attack them. They realize I want to listen and learn. And they too have learned from me.”

When the Law is Inadequate

Forgiveness can be especially advantageous when the law has been inadequate in exacting measured retribution. Justice is dependent on the existence of an authority perceived as just; so when that is absent, who then can bring justice?

In the insightful documentary Beyond Right and Wrong, Lord John Alderdice, psychiatrist and negotiator for the Northern Ireland Peace Agreement, warns: “If you simply hold tight to the requirement of justice come hell or high water, then you probably won’t find it possible to move forward. But if you try to move forward without attending to the pain and the hurt of the injustice and the trauma of the past, your move forward will probably be illusory, and you will carry some of that difficulty into the future and into your relationships as an individual or as a community.” Forgiveness then comes into play.

In South Africa, leaders sought to attend to the hurt of injustice and the trauma of the past through formation of a Truth and Reconciliation Commission, as noted below.

Case Example: South Africa

In 1993, Amy Biehl, an American student working in South Africa against apartheid, was stabbed to death in a Black township near Cape Town. In 1998, the four young men convicted of her murder were granted amnesty by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) after serving five years of their sentence – a decision supported by Amy’s parents.

Easy Nofemela, one of the convicted men, demonstrates just how important trust is in the peace process, and that it can’t be established unless individuals and communities find ways of repairing and rebuilding relationships with each other. “Not until I met Linda and Peter Biehl did I understand that white people are human beings too... The first time I saw them on TV I hated them. I thought this was the strategy of the whites, to come to South Africa to call for capital punishment. But they didn’t even mention wanting to hang us. I was very confused. They seemed to understand that the youth of the townships had carried this crisis, this fight for liberation, on their shoulders.”

Photography by Brian Moody.

How can One develop and promote forgiveness and reconciliation in community building?

• By engaging in the process of forgiveness (individual level)
  
  • Self-forgiveness
  • Common stages in the engagement process
  • Developing forgiveness on an individual level
• By engaging in the reconciliation process (community level)
  
  • Promoting forgiveness on community level
  • Ways to build and rebuild relationships
    • Cultivating dialogue
    • Starting grassroots initiatives
    • Utilizing the healing power of sharing stories
    • Developing victim – offender programs

“Forgiveness is neither just a therapeutic technique nor simply self-regarding in its motivation. It is fundamentally a moral relation between self and other.”

– Charles Griswold

Engaging in the Process of Forgiveness

 Self-forgiveness

Experiencing forgiveness either towards self or others can have a constructive, life-altering effect as part of the process of healing personal pain and trauma as well as building more peaceful communities.

But much of what has been said about forgiving others also applies to forgiving yourself. That can play an important part in the positive transformation of perpetrators’ attitudes and in the process of their preparation for re-entering society as free individuals. In this context, self-forgiveness may facilitate the perpetrator’s ability and willingness to start anew and be open to becoming a non-violent and productive member of society.

 Just as with forgiving others, self-forgiveness can be a complex and at times challenging process, where one needs to address various aspects of one’s personality, mindset, and behavior to move forward. While there is no set order of actions to take, one may start with putting an end to self-punishment. This involves letting go of your self-hatred and self-pity. As with forgiving others, self-forgiveness is not about forgetting about the past or excusing bad behavior. It is about taking responsibility, healing, and changing.

It is also worth noting that self-forgiveness is different from forgiving someone else in one important way, in that it must be about reconciliation. When you forgive another, reconciliation is a choice; but an important part of forgiving yourself is to integrate your previously unacceptable characteristics so that you can accept all of who you are without self-sabotaging, which can lead to self-abuse or any type of addiction.

Luskin (2002) makes a helpful distinction by breaking self-forgiveness into four main categories:

• —Failing at one of life’s important tasks – graduating from college, getting married, having children, etc.
• Not taking action to help yourself or someone else
• Hurting others
• Self-destructive acts

These categories can overlap; for instance, you could be upset with yourself for your alcohol abuse and the impact it has on your spouse. Self-forgiveness can also be an aspect of interpersonal forgiveness. While you can be angry and upset with someone else for hurting you, you can also be angry and upset with yourself for the part you may have played.

Learning to forgive yourself gives you the freedom to heal, let go, and move on. It is a tool that allows you to become more self-aware. Moreover, some believe that you cannot forgive another until you have learned self-compassion and self-forgiveness. In this sense, forgiveness is a movement of compassion; and learning to forgive yourself is an important step in learning to become a forgiving person.

Common Stages in the Engagement Process

When aggression leads to injury, pain, and shock, people may go through different phases to deal with their hurt. The following stages may apply to the experience, thought processes, and actions of individual victims or perpetrators as well as whole groups:

Fear, anger, and revenge may maintain the cycle of violence, through

• Realization of loss
• Denial, and suppression of grief and fear
• Anger: Why me?
• Desire for justice and revenge
• Telling and retelling the “right” conflict story, leading to acts of “justified” aggression

While forgiveness may lead to breaking the cycle of violence, through

• Mourning and expressing grief
• Accepting loss and confronting fear
• Re-humanizing the enemy: Why them?
• Moving beyond tolerance
• Choosing to forgive, committing to taking risks
• Rewriting history, negotiating solutions
• Repairing your life, establishing justice that restores, leading to movement towards reconciliation

Developing Forgiveness on an Individual Level

While everyone’s process is unique, and there are no fixed steps one has to take in order to forgive, real-life stories collected by The Forgiveness Project – a secular charity based in the United Kingdom – demonstrate that there are some key attributes to being a forgiving person and some key components to going on a forgiveness journey. Highlights and lessons from many of these stories are presented below.

However, it is important to keep in mind that not everyone experiences all of these components, nor necessarily in the same order. Forgiveness is not a fixed process and it may have no completion. Triggers throughout life might throw one off course again; therefore it is probably more helpful to think of forgiveness as a direction, rather than a destination.

Some key components to a forgiveness journey

These may include:

• Feeling rage: The anger and rage elements of loss must be expressed. Anger naturally arises after being hurt and often needs to be integrated, not rooted out like some bacterial illness. Denial or suppressing anger is a survival strategy that helps some people cope for a while. However, being in denial for too long is unhealthy, as the underlying emotions evoked by a past event may become self-consuming as well as hinder one from moving beyond the initial pain.

Case Example: United States

Brenda Adelman’s mother, an award-winning artist and photographer, was shot and killed in her home in Brooklyn, New York, in 1995. Brenda's father pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter, and served two and half years in prison. Brenda’s work today focuses on helping people transform pain into healing narratives.

“The missing step was embracing my anger in a healthy way. I still felt a deep level of anger at myself for ever trusting my father, demonstrated by my over-eating. I had so much self-judgment, and you can’t really forgive someone else unless you’ve forgiven yourself. It was while taking a course in spiritual psychology that I recognized how with each negative thought directed at my father I was re-wounding myself.”

• Grieving deeply: Through the process of accepting loss and feeling the full force of grief and pain, survivors in time may learn to (1) separate themselves from the events that have happened to them, and (2) integrate these events into their lives, so that the pain of the past becomes a part of who they are without consuming them.

Case Example: England

Camilla Carr, who was taken hostage in Chechnya in 1997, held captive for 14 months, and repeatedly raped, says: “First you have to deal with anger, then with tears, and only once you reach the tears are you on the road to finding peace of mind.”

• Facing fear: It can be a lonely and isolating journey to forgive, especially when family or close friends show reluctance towards the idea of embracing forgiveness, e.g., in the case of a violent crime. Forgiveness takes courage, the willingness to explore the unknown, and resilience that enables one to follow what feels personally right.

Case Example: England

Shad Ali is a British Pakistani who has lived and worked in Nottingham all his life. In July 2008, he was violently attacked when he came to the rescue of two Pakistani women who were being racially abused by a passing pedestrian.

“I received a huge amount of criticism and confusion from friends and family who didn’t understand why I wanted to forgive – especially from my wife who initially felt nothing but hatred towards this man. In spite of this, forgiving has really helped me move forward after the attack. It has been about me, and has nothing to do with the man who attacked me.”

• Developing self-awareness: Understanding yourself opens up a space for understanding others. This involves giving up the expectation that life owes you something, and instead adopting a broader perspective (the realizations that life is morally complicated, that good people do bad things, and that bad things happen to good people). Such a perspective is crucial, because it allows people to have fewer black-and-white expectations of how life and others will treat them. This way of thinking says: “I can’t predict what life will hand me, but I’m going to respond to it in a way that doesn’t perpetuate the cycle of hate.”

Case Example: United States

In 2005, Matthew Boger and Tim Zaal had a life-changing conversation. Both were working at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles when they realized they had met 26 years earlier, when a group of teen-aged Nazi punks attacked and beat a gay homeless 14-year-old boy. Matthew Boger was that young boy and Tim Zaal, at age 17, was a member of the group who left Matthew for dead in a West Hollywood alley.

Matthew: “I also experienced a grieving process when I forgave, because I had so identified with the events that took place when I was 14. By letting that part of me go, I mourned the person I’d known for so long. But that’s also a very beautiful thing, because what got replaced was a person who was more tolerant, more open-hearted, and a lot stronger.”

• Developing empathy: One of the turning points in the process is when the question “why me?” becomes “why them?” Forgiveness in this sense is not something that is done, but something that is discovered. And for the victim/survivor, the relevant discovery is the understanding that the offender is “human like myself.”

Case Example: England

Marian Partington’s younger sister, Lucy, had been a victim of serial killers Fred and Rosemary West. “I heard [Rosemary’s] voice on tape, shouting, swearing and full of rage, and I began to have some insight into her mind. I later discovered she’d been sexually abused by her brother, then abducted from a bus stop and raped at age 17…Her story seems to be about the impoverishment of a soul that knew no other way to live than through terrible cruelty…Since then my work has been about connecting with Rosemary West’s humanity and refusing to go down the far easier and more predictable path of demonizing her.”

According to Marina Cantacuzino, founder of The Forgiveness Project – who has collected over 140 real-life stories of forgiveness – it seems that people are able to forgive heinous crimes because ultimately they are able to muster what Stephen Cherry refers to, in Healing Agony: Reimagining Forgiveness, “distasteful empathy.” It is distasteful because in order to empathize with the cruel and heartless, one has to imagine being cruel and heartless oneself.

Case Example: United States

In 1999, Samantha Lawler’s father killed her mother. Samantha, at just 18, lost both parents in one fatal blow. Thirteen years later, for the first time since the murder, Samantha visited her dying father in prison. She discovered that forgiveness was “not about forgiving the act, but forgiving the imperfections which are inherent in all of us.” 

• Recognition: This seems to be the crux of forgiveness: recognizing that we are all somehow implicated, that we all have responsibility for the society we have helped create, with its bandits, thugs, killers, and saints.

Case Example: South Africa

In 1993 Ginn Fourie’s daughter, Lyndi, was killed in the Heidelberg Tavern Massacre in Cape Town. In 2002 Letlapa Mphahlele, the man who master-minded the attack, invited Ginn to his homecoming ceremony and asked her to make a speech. “It was here that I was able to apologize to his people for the shame and humiliation which my ancestors had brought on them through slavery, colonialism, and apartheid. Vulnerable feelings, when expressed to other people, have the potential to establish lasting bonds.”

• Remorse: For some people, remorse is an essential ingredient to forgiving. For others, it chains the victim to the perpetrator, waiting for something the victim may never receive; therefore it may maintain the power imbalance between perpetrator and victim. But remorse for a wrongdoing can play an important part in healing the victim’s past wounds.

Case Example: Rwanda

Former enemies can more easily live as neighbors and help to rebuild communities if remorse is shown, as in the case of Ngirente Philippe (a Tutsi) whose father was slaughtered by Uzabakiriho Teresphore (a Hutu). Both men now live as neighbors in Rwanda.

Philippe says of Teresphore, whom he first encountered at a gacaca (community) court: “Four months later he came to my house. He brought food and banana wine. Again he started crying and repeatedly saying how sorry he was. Eventually I escorted him home. Then my wife and I embarked on the path of true reconciliation. We wanted to do more than just forgive, but to actually live as neighbors and friends, side by side. We wanted to improve society, to respond to evil with goodness. So now his mother also comes to my home, and we share meals.”

• Acknowledgment: Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, author of the award-winning A Human Being Died that Night and a senior research professor in trauma, memory, and forgiveness at the University of the Free State (in South Africa), has come to believe that apology and acknowledgment are of the utmost importance when dealing with historical memory. This is because, as she said at a conference in South Africa in 2014: “When people are wounded they feel as if they have been dehumanized…The recognition of the pain of the other is an evocation of empathy.”
  
  While punitive justice can be problematic because it relies on a ”just” authority that can restore the balance, restorative justice places the emphasis on acknowledgment and accountability, which have been shown to enable those who have been harmed to move on. Acknowledging guilt is hard, because people are uncomfortable with their own shame, and afraid to recognize that they are to blame. “But unless you feel the shame, you can’t feel remorse,” contends Gobodo-Madikizela (2004).
  
  Forgiving people, however, also recognize that some wrong-doers are simply unable to face their own shame and therefore cannot take responsibility. In other words, if you wait for remorse and apology to happen, you may wait forever.​

Case Example: England

Anne, a victim of sexual abuse, has forgiven the man who repeatedly abused her during her childhood. She doesn’t believe that forgiveness requires remorse or apology (in other words, that it should be a contractual relationship between two people) because, as she says: “If I’m still waiting for my abuser to show remorse, then I’m still in his power and he’s still in control of my feelings. For me, it’s about a choice to be in the world, relating to the world in a particular way that is not perpetuating the hurt and damage that caused that particular act of violence towards me all the years ago.”

Forgiveness requires acknowledging the pain of the “other,” i.e. the person who caused you pain or harm, but not necessarily accepting injustice. This is what Rami Elhanan, whose daughter was killed by a suicide bomber in a Jerusalem market in 1997, means when he says: “We don’t have any expectations of our politicians; we need to work from below to change this endless cycle of violence.”

Case Example: Palestine and Israel

Rami is a former officer in the Israeli Defense Force, and member of the Parents’ Circle - Families Forum, a group of bereaved Palestinians and Israelis who have lost family members in the conflict and now campaign for peace. Frequently Rami gives public talks alongside his Palestinian friends, such as Bassam Aramin, whose 10-year-old daughter, Abir, was killed by an Israeli soldier in 2007.

Where does forgiveness fit into this difficult dialogue between two bereaved fathers, or two communities at war? How can you forgive when the power imbalance is so vast and when justice is so far from being achieved?

Rami and Bassam’s message is simple: The only real way of affecting change is through heart-to-heart discussion, one person at a time. For Rami, forgiveness is not the solution, but part of a quest to understand what makes a young man so angry that he chooses to blow himself up alongside a group of 14-year-old girls.

• Managing expectations: Crucial to forgiving is not being attached to an outcome and not making assumptions. People tend to expect others to react like them; they compare their responses to how they would respond; they blame people for not doing what they think they should.

Case Example: Sheila

“A long time ago, before I found lasting happiness with my husband, I fell in love with Jack. The feeling was mutual. It was powerful and passionate and we described each other as soul mates. This was going to be the defining relationship of my life. However, just six months later Jack started to behave differently. Sensing something was wrong, I confronted him and he confessed he had strong feelings for someone else. Our relationship quickly and painfully unravelled. I was stunned, angry, and very upset. I thought of all the special things that Jack had said to me and wondered how his feelings could just have evaporated into thin air.

“During the ensuing months I held onto my anger like a prized possession, nurturing it until it defined who I was, and the story I told. I felt humiliated, betrayed, and profoundly hurt. However, at some stage, I must also have realized that while this hurt was defining who I was right then and there, I didn’t want it to define who I would become. I didn’t want to carry my hurt into future relationships.

“And so something shifted. I changed my lens and gained a new perspective. I came to understand that people have a right to change their minds, and that just because someone says they love you one day, doesn’t guarantee that this statement will hold true for the next. I have come to believe therefore that people don’t owe me anything, and just because they are capable of hurting me doesn’t make them into bad people: It might simply mean that my needs are greater than theirs.”

Comparing Sheila’s story – a relatively small example of harm – with all the many forgiving people who have struggled with great traumas, it seems that they too have been able to let go of an expectation that the world owes them. In other words, they don’t assume that they’ll be safe, their house won’t be burgled, they won’t get mugged, or their child won’t get killed. They have understood life’s moral complexities, that what happens to you is not always correlated with your personality, character, or behavior. The question then becomes not “why me?” but “why not me?”

• Meaning making: This component is defined as “making sense out of” and “finding significance and benefit in” what happened. It isn’t about making sense out of horror, but rather about “the intense pursuit of what matters.” In other words, when survivors pursue what matters to them they find meaning in their life again, and start acting in congruence with what they now feel is important. The by-product of this intense pursuit of meaning is that people are able to adapt to circumstances and start to develop new coping skills and new ways of belonging to society.

Case Example: United States

In 2004, Cathy Harrington’s 26-year-old daughter, Leslie, was murdered in a brutal attack in her own home. “During those early years of trying to make sense of such unspeakable horror, I spent a lot of time living among the poor doing street retreats and visiting the dispossessed in Nicaragua. I found comfort there. If there was a place I could find grace, it was in the streets.”

Based on the above-mentioned key components, forgiveness can be difficult to bring about, and may require a series of challenging intellectual and emotional stages for those involved to go through.

Conditions under which forgiveness is most likely to occur

• People must have an opportunity to express their grief and rage (in small group work, restorative circles, community courts, etc.).
• People must be able to hear the other’s story (as in restorative justice initiatives).
• People must be prepared to give something up – e.g., firmly held views, assumptions, or expectations. This is something that can only be encouraged and can only come about through exposure to those with whom you were formerly in conflict.
• People must be prepared to see the others as human, like themselves.
• People must develop the ability to put meaning back into their lives and therefore bring about identity reconstruction. Engagement in such meaning-making activities rebuilds a self-identity.

To conclude our discussion of forgiveness at an individual level, the following story of the over 140 collected and shared by The Forgiveness Project sums up the complex, untidy, and often intangible journey of forgiveness:

Case Example: Canada

Wilma Derksen, whose 13-year-old daughter Candace was murdered in Canada in 1984, describes how her decision to forgive didn’t necessarily mean everything was suddenly better. She says: “Little did I know that the word ‘forgiveness’ would haunt me for the next 30 years – prod me, guide me, heal me, label me, enlighten me, imprison me, free me, and in the end define me.” She concludes: “Forgiveness is not just a one-off event, nor does it mean you’re doing the same thing again and again. The issues of Candace’s murder present themselves differently every day. Forgiveness is a fresh, on-going, ever-present position of the mind, which takes on many different forms. It’s a promise of what we want to do, a goal, a North Star, a mantra.”

Whether it is pursued due to an inner voice, family traditions, or religious teachings, forgiveness is a powerful tool in transforming people’s lives for the better. As the Michigan-based Fetzer Institute’s Campaign for Love and Forgiveness has put it, “individual transformation can lead to societal change.” While forgiveness is first and foremost a personal journey of discovery (see examples above), it also has the potential to induce positive change in entire communities. This will be discussed under the Engaging in the Reconciliation Process heading, just below.

Engaging in the Reconciliation Process

Developing Forgiveness on a Community Level

Forgiveness is often portrayed as a deeply individual process with personal healing as its prime goal. But individual traumas are often part of a larger societal trauma, and therefore larger change can often come about from healing and forgiveness at both individual and societal levels.

In the Fetzer Institute’s short documentary Being with the Energy of Love and Forgiveness, Dr. Mark Umbreit, founding director of the Center for Restorative Justice and Peacemaking at the University of Minnesota, explains his work in restorative justice. The film represents one of the most useful and comprehensive insights available into the practical application of forgiveness and reconciliation at a community level.

Describing the impact of healing circles, victim-offender dialogue, and community conferencing, Umbreit concludes that “respect,” “openness,” and “compassion” are the underlying components of engagement. “I literally feel and sense what I would call the authentic energy of forgiveness there; more than I do in institutions that talk about it a lot or preach it or push it,” he says.

For Umbreit, “Restorative dialogue is one of many pathways to a deeper experience of forgiveness. It’s about creating a safe space to go deep within your heart, to feel vulnerability, to be open to others’ pain, to recognize their humanity at the deepest level. When you humanize your adversary it’s harder to hold on to hate, it’s harder to kill.”

The film also shows interviews with members of the Native American Somali Friendship Committee in the Phillips neighborhood of Minneapolis. This initiative grew out of conflict arising when thousands of Somali refugees settled in the Twin Cities in the early nineties.

The Native American Somali Friendship Committee was formed when Wade Keezer, an Ojibwe leader and organizer, called the Native American and Somali communities to address the growing tension. The result was the beginning of a cross-cultural dialogue intended to promote peaceful community building. Peacemaking in this context was a process based on traditional methods of dispute resolution, which is a cornerstone of Native American culture and addresses the need to rebuild relationships between people.

The first meeting between the two communities took place on Martin Luther King Day in 2010. At first, only negative feelings were aired as people were able to safely express their pain and fear; but in time and through sharing stories, food and other cultural activities, the two communities discovered they had more similarities than differences.

This peacebuilding initiative worked because both communities were able to look at each other in the eye, find respect, and build a relationship with greater understanding. Umbreit concludes this was not “little common conversations…but real restorative dialogue,” as people spent hours together, listening to each other’s pain and trauma. In this way, both communities were able to hear each other’s stories, forgive, move forward, and build a safer neighbourhood.

Moving beyond small, local communities, forgiveness in large-scale peace-building processes that involve two or more opposing social, ethnic, or religious groups can affect the future of a country. It did so in South Africa, where politicians and civic leaders urged large groups of people to forgive other groups with whom they had previously been locked in conflict. While forgiveness was never obligatory in South Africa, its value was upheld within the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, chaired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu. In addition, several public figures spoke out in favor of forgiveness, thus modeling a way forward for the communities they represented.

Nelson Mandela, by publicly forgiving those who had wronged him, became a global symbol for forgiveness, compassion, and peace-building. “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”

Case Example: South Africa

Albie Sachs – the anti-apartheid campaigner who lost an arm and was partially blinded in a car bomb in 1988 – has spoken about ubuntu, the spirit of reconciliation that allowed a nation not to resort to bloody recriminations post-apartheid.

“We called the peaceful transition in South Africa from the vicious system of apartheid to a constitutional democracy a miracle.... It became possible because millions and millions of African people, despite their hardship, or perhaps because of their hardship, had never lost the deep traditional spirit of ubuntu, a shared sense of humanity: I am a person because you are a person; my humanity can’t be separated from a recognition of your humanity.

“Because of ubuntu and the Truth Commission, I was able to meet the soldier who had organized the placing of a bomb in my car that cost me my right arm and the sight of an eye. It was a moving encounter, from which we both emerged better human beings. The key to the encounter was that our country had changed. Ubuntu, the spirit of reconciliation, requires dealing with the causes of the conflict. But it can help overcome those causes, and be liberating to the individuals involved in a very personal way.”

Ways to Build and Rebuild Relationships

In a similar matter, reconciliation must involve actively rebuilding relationships by creating opportunities for people to engage with each other through spaces, activities, and enterprises. In order to build or rebuild relationships, there must be platforms on which to develop understanding between groups and communities.

Cultivating dialogue: Enabling people to embrace tensions in the process of reconciliation and dialogue is the starting point. Dialogue can take place in many settings, such as a national dialogue or within communities across divisions of race, religion, or gender. Dialogue can be practiced in community halls, schools, prisons, and corporate institutions. However, dialogue by itself can be a fairly shallow gesture. To be effective, it has to include:

• Genuine exploration of self and the “other”
• Addressing the roots of conflict
• Building closer bonds between individuals and groups
• Promoting systemic and structural change

Starting grassroots initiatives: Reconciliation often builds on grassroots initiatives, such as theatre, music, and sport, so that barriers between people can be addressed and broken down. Other examples might include initiatives such as workshops that promote psychological healing, perhaps offering safe spaces for narrative sharing and storytelling; or social projects that bring together individuals from diverse groups and communities. By so working to effect social change, people also learn to respect each other and to coexist peacefully.

An important element of the reconciliation process is the restoration of broken relationships, which may be addressed in various ways. While some of these will be discussed in detail under the “Developing Victim-Offender Programs” heading, it is worth mentioning here the contributions of Howard Zehr, who is widely known as the grandfather of restorative justice. He describes his work as being about “changing lenses,” and sums up some of the different approaches as follows:

“Some advocate the use of restorative approaches such as ‘circles’ (an approach that emerged from the First Nation/aboriginal communities in Canada) as a way to work through, resolve, and transform conflicts in general. Others pursue circles or ‘conferences’ (an effort with roots both in New Zealand and Australia and in facilitated victim-offender meetings) as a way to build and heal communities.” (Zehr, 2002).

Utilizing the healing power of sharing stories: Stories of hope in hopeless times can change lives. A constructive strategy that may help one break out of an endless cycle of violence is to develop the ability to listen to the pain of the other (the so-called “enemy”), because if people focus only on their own pain and trauma this locks them into a sense of despair.

The Forgiveness Project collects and shares real stories of forgiveness in order to create opportunities for people to consider, examine, and choose forgiveness in the face of atrocity. Its work in restorative storytelling demonstrates that personal narratives can broaden perspectives and bring healing to those impacted — whether victim or perpetrator — as well as motivate others regarding future life choices.

Research has shown that storytelling is a powerful tool for which humans are hard-wired. Storytelling enables individuals and groups to form connections and collaboration at the same time as they overcome differences and defenses. The spiritual teacher Anthony Mello has said: “The deepest truth is found by means of a simple story.” And as the German-born political theorist Hannah Arendt has noted: "Storytelling is the bridge by which we transform that which is private and individual into that which is public” (Arendt 1958). Some other examples follow.

Some Story-Sharing Examples

• In the 11 years since it was founded, The Forgiveness Project has gained a reputation for using narrative and storytelling techniques as a way to reach across the rifts not only of race, faith, and geography, but also the rifts of enemies. Presenting, producing, and examining real stories of transformation is The Forgiveness Project’s key tool for change.
  The project does this through “The F Word” travelling exhibition (a thought-provoking collection of arresting images and personal narratives), through filmed interviews, through written stories on its website accessed by the public as an open resource, through a restorative justice program in U.K. prisons where facilitators are victims and ex-offenders share their redemptive narratives, and through real lived experiences from a Speakers Bureau at events, lectures, workshops, and seminars. The stories have also appeared in a book, The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age, by the organization’s founder, Marina Cantacuzino.
• Another storytelling initiative including forgiveness and narratives is “The F-You Project,” an acclaimed youth-led nonprofit organization and movement in Toronto, Ontario, which utilizes arts and self-expression to empower youth to find strength to overcome some of the most intractable circumstances. This organization provides first-hand experiences in forgiveness within the context of violence. It focuses on organizing public events, featuring speakers who have evolved from victim to survivor in the face of their own internal adversities. This is a good example of the community working together to erase negativity and inspire healing.
• Compelling examples also come from Rwanda. In that country, alongside the stories of murder and carnage, when neighbors killed neighbors, teachers killed students, and armed gangs across the country at one point reached a killing rate of seven people per minute, it is important to hear stories of people who acted with kindness, empathy, and self-sacrifice.​

Case Example: Rwanda

At the Kigali Genocide Memorial in Rwanda there is the story of Nsengiyuumra, a Muslim who during the genocide is said to have saved over 30 people by protecting or hiding them in his outhouse. A survivor’s testimony reads: “The interahamwe (Hutu paramilitary organization) killer was chasing me down the alley. I was going to die any second. I banged on the door of the yard. It opened almost immediately. He (Nsengiyumra) took me by the hand and stood in his doorway and told the killer to leave. He said that the Koran says: ‘If you save one life, it is like saving the whole world.’”

• Some other examples of those who are using their stories to support divided communities are Jo Berry, with “Building Bridges for Peace,” Rami Elhahan, through the “The Parents’ Circle,” and Alistair Little, who started the organization “Beyond Walls.” These examples show that any community can start collecting stories as a way of listening to the pain of the “other” in order to build empathy and understanding.

Developing victim –offender programs:

The RESTORE Prison Program

For eight years The Forgiveness Project has run RESTORE, a group-based restorative justice (RJ) intervention program in England to enable prisoners to turn their lives around and give them the tools to re-enter society as active and responsible citizens.

Restorative justice views crime as injury rather than law-breaking, and justice as healing rather than punishment. Forgiveness should never be a condition of RJ, but is frequently an outcome, simply because when two people or two groups come to hear the story of the “other,” fixed perspectives start to shift.

This restorative justice process demonstrates how individual transformation can lead to societal change. As participants learn about different aspects of forgiveness and reconciliation, and practice them in their own lives, there is a ripple effect into communities.

How does the RESTORE process work?

1. Creating a safe space for reflection, and creating conditions conducive to questioning and changing attitudes (e.g., discussing how society works, how humanity works, how forgiveness works, how revenge works, and how the psyche of a victim or a perpetrator work).
2. Storytelling is at the heart of RESTORE; it is considered a powerful tool in developing empathy, creating community, and constructing/reconstructing identity.
3. Empathy-building is developed through shared dramatic experience of traumatic and authentic stories, in an atmosphere of non-judgmental sharing and humanity, using positive psychological principles and values modelled by facilitators.
4. Transformative change means that one’s perspective or worldview goes through a significant transformation. Through this change, one arrives at appreciating, seeking, and attaining “forgiveness.” This type of attitude transformation is considered a “humanizing process” that requires a psychological and conceptual shift. That is, one is required to move away from being emotionally and mentally detached and to become mindful and critically reflective. In the process, one abandons the perception of being a “victim” in favor of actively reassessing oneself as “offender” and acknowledging the “ripple effect” of one’s own behavior.
5. Different choices and intentions are catalyzed through RESTORE’s focusing on the positive potential of offenders’ future life paths (e.g., participants are encouraged in deciding to follow – and to believe they are capable of following – inspirational examples, to reconcile and restore damaged relationships, and to break cycles of violence and damage).

RESTORE is one example of how the process of forgiveness may unfold and be successfully employed in a given context. The overall impact of this restorative program can lead to reduced offending behavior both in prison and beyond release; it has been shown to result in fewer victims and offenders amongst participants, their families, and the communities they live in.

The Fambul Tok Model

 

A different model is Fambul Tok (Krio for “Family Talk”), which emerged in Sierra Leone as a face-to-face community-owned program bringing together perpetrators and victims of the violence in Sierra Leone’s 11-year civil war (1991–2002). In these communities, naming and shaming is considered justice, and while forgiveness is imperative, it is not granted without remorse. Fambul Tok has proved to be a more effective and much cheaper way of providing justice and facilitating reconciliation than the international community’s £300 million worth of international trials for perpetrators of civil war in Sierra Leone.

This community-healing process of reconciliation and forgiveness addresses the roots of conflict at the local level, and restores dignity to the lives of those who suffered most directly from violence. The work helps war-affected individuals reflect on the past and move forward in ways that avert the renewal of aggressions. By grounding reconciliation in traditional practices, it also helps create healthy communities capable of building new foundations of peace.

How does the Fambul Tok process work?

1. Consultations. Community-led reconciliation begins with consulting the individuals and communities who will make and sustain peace.
2. Implementation. Fambul Tok pilots each new phase of the community-owned reconciliation process and incorporates the lessons learned from the pilot as the program expands.
3. Training. Fambul Tok empowers community stakeholders through customized, targeted training in reconciliation, conflict mediation, and trauma healing.
4. Reconciliation Ceremony. The reconciliation ceremony is at the heart of Fambul Tok’s approach to community-owned and led peace-building efforts. Drawing on the tradition of truth telling around a bonfire, communities host a bonfire in the evening, where victims and perpetrators have an opportunity to come forward for the first time to tell their stories, apologize, and ask for or offer forgiveness. The communities then sing and dance in celebration of this open acknowledgement of and resolution to what happened in the war.
   The next day, the communities hold cleansing ceremonies that draw on traditional cleansing practices as well as traditions of communicating with the ancestors and pouring libations. These cleansing ceremonies culminate in a communal feast.
5. Follow-up Activities: From football (soccer) to community farms, the follow-up activities of Fambul Tok strengthen community and help sustain the peace achieved through consultation and reconciliation ceremonies.

Participants’ Comments on Fambul Tok:

Hawa Koroma, Moyamba town: “Most of us do not have the opportunity to face the TRC [Truth and Reconciliation Commission] to tell people what happened to us. With Fambul Tok, we can now share our stories and have the opportunity to forgive and reconcile.”

Sahr Ngaoja, Lei chiefdom, Kono district: “I have no regret for moving from such a far distance to listen to Fambul Tok. After the war, plenty of people are afraid to return to their homes for fear of revenge. Now that Fambul Tok is creating the platform for victims, witnesses, and perpetrators to mediate reconciliation for peaceful co-existence, we have no alternative but to welcome Fambul Tok. I am sure community reconciliation will help us fight poverty.”

Hawah Wurie, Bunumbu, Kailahun district: “Most of our brothers and sisters played an active role during the war. Some of them amputated hands, some of them slaughtered women, some split women open to see what baby was in their stomach; but at the ceremony most of them came forward and confessed and asked for forgiveness and we have forgiven them. We have encouraged them, embraced them, we do things together. Even myself, my elder sister was killed during this war. Those that killed her, I knew who they were, but when they confessed, I forgave them.”

Some Challenges and reflection questions

To practice forgiveness and reconciliation in daily life comes with its own challenges, and prompts a number of reflection questions. As one example, there is a popular notion that if you do not forgive you will be depleted in some way, tied to the past, holding on to grudges, filled with negative and even violent thoughts. This sentiment is found in much literature (blogs, articles, books, and motivational quotes) and creates a perception that forgiveness must be the panacea for all ills, a key to serenity, and the route to enlightenment. But it glosses over the fact that forgiveness is a slippery and complex concept, meaning many things to many people.

The above assumptions not only ignore the real pain many people suffer, but shame those who chose not to forgive. In a BBC1 TV program in 2011 “What is the Point in Forgiveness?”, the U.K.’s then-Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams, warned against forgiving too easily. He told the Radio Times: “I think the 20th century saw such a level of atrocity that it has focused our minds very, very hard on the dangers of forgiving too easily” (Thomas, 2011). The point he went on to make very strongly was that if forgiveness is easy, it is as if the suffering doesn’t really matter.

Some other challenges in the practice of forgiveness and reconciliation follow.

Challenges

• Letting go: Forgiveness requires a deliberate — or as Gandhi put it, “strong” — letting go of negative emotions toward the offender.
• Assuming that forgiveness means reconciliation: People can mistake forgiveness for reconciliation. Sometimes it is best to do as Desmond Tutu advises: release the relationship (and forgive!) rather than renew it.
• Accountability: Another challenge is how forgiveness is promoted. There is a real danger in politicizing forgiveness, since the rhetoric of forgiveness can prevent politicians being held accountable, as in the above-mentioned case of Burundi. It has also been suggested that in transitional justice (which can be defined as a society's attempt to come to terms with legacies of massive human rights abuses) perceived pressure to forgive and the repression of anger or resentment may be psychologically harmful and reinforce structures of inequality. Similarly victims of child sex abuse within the church have sometimes complained that members of the clergy urged them to forgive rather than pursue justice.

Case Example: England

Susan says, “My crisis began when my daughter approached her eighth birthday, and the horror of what happened to me finally dawned. I sought help through Christian literature, but it just told lovely stories about reconciliation. Trusted Christian friends offered well-meaning advice, and in one case an exorcism. The focus was on praying for my abuser’s redemption. It is not hard to see how in this context, forgiveness can allow abuse to thrive.”

• Creating the right climate: A paradox of forgiveness is that in a restorative justice setting the more you talk about forgiveness or encourage it, the less safe people may feel. Moreover, pushing forgiveness may make people feel pressured, hence trigger direct resistance from them. Forgiveness is not a magic bullet; it can re-traumatize.
• No set formula: Since forgiveness may have relevance in a great variety of social, cultural, and racial settings, it is important that forgiveness be approached according to the given context and not applied as a one-size-fits-all solution.
• Provision of resources: The greatest challenge to any successful reconciliation process, whether in building bridges between warring communities on a national level, or seeking to rehabilitate violent individuals into the community, is the provision of financial resources to allow these processes to be sustained and developed.
• Sustaining dialogue: The challenge to any society is to develop sustained dialogue and reconciliation processes, so that our differences will never serve as the source of division, conflict, and violence.

Reflection Questions

Many of the questions below are thought-provoking and challenging. What are your own answers to them?

• How can forgiveness (a word too often seen as a weakness and associated with excusing and condoning) be used in the everyday world to develop and sustain community-building and peace?
• Can we forgive an ongoing evil? Or, can forgiveness be granted to those who have committed terrorist acts? By whom? Upon whose authority?
• Can one forgive in the absence of apology or remorse?
• Can true reconciliation be accomplished? On whose terms?
• Can there be reconciliation following mass murder? Is forgiveness also then possible? As defined by whom? For whose benefit?
• What kind of processes should be developed so that dialogue continues and peace can be maintained?
• Can it ever be wrong to offer forgiveness, or to attempt reconciliation?

In Summary

Forgiveness, as a means of relieving oneself from the burden of victimhood, is intrinsically subjective. In her book The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age, Marina Cantacuzino writes:

In this hotly contested territory, the only thing I know for sure is that the act of forgiving is fluid and active and can change from day to day, hour to hour, depending on how you feel when you wake in the morning or what triggers you encounter during the day.

Forgiveness may unfold like a mysterious discovery, or it may be a totally conscious decision, something you line yourself up for having exhausted all other options. It may have a strong degree of pardoning attached to it, or it may just be a   sense that you have released something poisonous or let go of something heavy that no longer weighs you down.

In this sense, forgiveness means not allowing the pain of the past to dictate the path of the future. It requires a broad perspective, namely understanding that life is morally complicated, that people behave in despicable ways, and that some things can never be explained” (Cantacuzino, 2015, p. 2).

The reality is that some people don’t forgive because it is not the right time to forgive. Taking the time to proceed at one’s own pace can be smart, commendable, and empowering. For those working to promote forgiveness and reconciliation, it is important to remember that forgiveness is first and foremost a choice, and not necessarily the best medicine for all people all the time.

At the same time, it is also important to remember that when introduced as an option, as a concept with limits as well as opportunities, forgiveness (if chosen as a path through trauma) is undoubtedly a powerful healing process that can mend broken hearts and repair broken communities.

Contributors
Marina Cantacuzino
Katalin Karolyi

Editors
Bill Berkowitz
Barbara Kerr

Marina Cantacuzino is Founder and Chief Storyteller of The Forgiveness Project, a U.K.-based organization that collects and shares real stories in order to build understanding and give people the opportunity to move forward from trauma and conflict, enabling both personal and societal change. The Forgiveness Project has no religious or political associations.

Katalin Karolyi, BA, MSc, is Communications Officer of The Forgiveness Project. Visit The Forgiveness Project on facebook and twitter.

Example #1: Bridging the Divides in Our Communities and in Our Nation

 

The Hands Across the Hills experience initiated in the small community of Leverett, Massachusetts, with Letcher County Kentucky was powerful and positive. They listened to each other, learned from each other, and actually left loving each other. It gave them hope that the divisions in this country can be overcome.

 

Example #2: Reconciliation Regina

In 2016, Regina City Council unanimously approved a Referral Motion moved by Mayor Fougere to honour, acknowledge, accept responsibility and participate in actions to address the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada 94 Calls to Action. This led to the creation of Reconciliation Regina, the beginning of a community-led reconciliation journey now comprised of over 85 community organizations.

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

“Everyone must be committed in the matter of peace, to do everything that they can …

Peace is the language we must speak.” — Pope Francis

Introduction

This section is about peace – a most fundamental asset to community building, to personal growth, and to the very survival of our planet. At the heart of many faiths, practices, and cultures, advancing peaceful co-existence is essential to ensuring productive, meaningful lives and sustainable societies.

After providing a working definition of peace, our main focus will be on practical steps one can take to advance peace, so that we can strengthen ourselves and our communities. We’ll supplement this guidance with examples throughout. These come from initiatives stimulated by the Charter for Compassion, its partner organizations, and many others who offer practical models that individuals, groups, and/or governments can employ for peace-building. We will also consider how we, as individuals, can be enriched by establishing peace within our individual lives, even in the most challenging of circumstances.

Throughout this section we draw from actual events and emphasize personal experiences. Assisting in authoring is September 11^th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, whose members have connected with others from over 25 countries – from Rwanda and South Africa to Japanese survivors of atomic bombs; these individuals have lost loved ones, or themselves been injured by mass violence through war, terror, or other incidents, but they have joined together to work toward a more peaceful future.

To get us started on the topic of promoting peace, let us look to what may seem at first to be an unlikely source for leadership and inspiration – the mountains of Afghanistan. There live a group of young people who have been surrounded by war from birth, from Soviet invasions to warlords, Taliban fighting, and more recently the American invasion. As a result, several of them have been severely injured and/or lost family and friends due to conflicts that have nothing to do with their interests. 

Yet they have not responded with a violent thirst for revenge, but rather by forming the Afghan Peace Volunteers. This group has held peace marches and vigils in areas across the Middle East and has worked to support other youth and victims of war, while strengthening education and justice within their own communities. They challenge you and me, and the entire world, with their simple question: "Why not friendship?" Perhaps you would like to respond to their heartfelt plea. They welcome everyone to join in their conversations toward mutual understanding, called Global Days of Listening.

Youth and adults across the U.S. and the world have joined in these calls to discuss ways to make our communities safer and to live together in peace. Later in this section, we will discuss how a student group in Groton, MA participated, sharing dreams and strategies. If these young people can embrace peace and see a way forward through mutual support with those who have been enemies, we can all find that path, whether in our home communities or across the globe.

The Author’s Personal Story

As a 9/11 family member, this topic of peace is profoundly important to me. My brother, Donald Freeman Greene, having hugged his beloved wife and young children goodbye, headed off on an early flight on September 11, 2001 to visit our siblings on the West Coast. He died on that beautiful morning as a passenger aboard United Flight 93. Young men, deluded into thinking that they were acting in accordance to their religion’s beliefs and/or to benefit their people, had taken over the plane in an act of extreme violence. Their intent to use the airplane as a weapon, most likely aimed at the United States Capitol, was thwarted by passengers who came together to retake control of the cockpit.

In my anguish and personal loss, it was still painful to me to hear the call of the Flight 93 passengers – "Let's Roll" – taken up across the nation and used as a justification to head to war. The nation embraced the idea that a military approach would teach our enemies a lesson and destroy them. Yet we must ask ourselves, what is the lesson? As hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, predominantly women and children, have died due to the ensuing conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, we have failed to demonstrate in any way that violence against civilians is ever justified.

We have lost far more young soldiers than the number of people who died in the September 11th attacks. The wars seem to have perpetuated the same misguided belief held by the terrorists – that enemies can simply be eliminated. Prior to the wars, the group that launched the 9/11 attacks, Al-Qaeda, was a very small extremist faction with virtually no presence in Iraq. Now ISIS, an extreme offshoot of Al-Qaeda, has emerged and taken over large sections of the country, even as the Taliban has crept back into power in Afghanistan.

Eventually, I learned of other 9/11 family members who shared my perspective and had formed September 11^th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, turning our grief into actions for peace. Our goal is for no other families anywhere in the world to suffer needlessly due to violence, whether from terrorism, war, or other causes. Our name comes from the prescient quote by Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.: "The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly that wars make poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows." (Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr, "The Casualties of War in Vietnam,” Speech, Los Angeles, CA, January 1967.)

Definition

Several elements are useful in defining peace. On an individual level, peace may start with having calmness within oneself. Expanding outward, peace entails agreement and harmony among people. At its largest scale, peace is to live without violent conflict or war. Peace underlies our quality of life and the fabric of our communities; and, as our weaponry becomes ever more powerful, our very survival as people on this planet depends upon it.

Many spiritual traditions and teachings throughout history have emphasized peace, both as an inner journey and as an outward commitment to live in mutual benefit with our families, our communities, and in the world. Yet in our current global landscape we often see peace described in an inverted way, so that “keeping the peace” has come to refer to soldiers and “peace-keepers,” or to armed militia.

A number of other terms and concepts are necessarily related to the creation of peace, including fairness, justice, inclusiveness, and human rights. These must be embedded into the community in order to foster agreement and harmony. Peace is strongest when derived from social justice, which can be defined as ensuring fundamental rights and equity to all. Strengthening civil society – the rules that bind us and allow us to live productively together, with established means of resolving conflict – is the means to those ends.

The Importance of Peace to Community Building

Peace enriches our communities and individual lives, as it directs us to embrace diversity and support one another to the fullest extent possible. Through caring, generosity, and fairness we provide a cornerstone for attaining a sustainable, just, meaningful, vibrant, and fulfilling personal and community life.

To bring home this point, consider the following questions:

• Can our families and communities thrive without mutual support and peace with our neighbors?
• Can peaceful communities exist without attention to justice and equity?
• What would be the prospects of a world without peace?

Situations Favoring the Promotion of Peace

Detection and Action

Promoting peace requires valuing and considering both oneself and others. As such, peace is central to every situation throughout our lives. Just as a child is enriched as he or she learns to take on more responsibilities, the meaning in our lives grows as we learn to recognize and take more responsibility for one another and the world.

While such a broad application is encouraged, individuals or communities can enhance their impact by strategically focusing their efforts. In community organizing, promoting peace is in many ways similar to other areas of strategic planning. The Charter for Compassion and the Community Tool Box recommend the following four steps that can help to detect and set peace-building priorities, then develop peaceful action opportunities:

1. Discover and Assess

Learn more about the issues and assets that affect peace in your community. A quick snapshot of concerns can be identified through statistics on criminal activities, hate crimes, and school incidents. Many of these statistics can be found on the FBI website or on commercial sites such as city-data.com.

More in-depth information may be gained from discussions with residents, local human rights commissions, and/or parent-teacher associations. The cultural and spiritual organizations in your area can also be valuable in engaging diverse residents to share their cultures and to promote your learning about current efforts devoted to harmony and cross-cultural/interfaith understanding. You can reach out and participate in some of their activities.

Participatory Asset Mapping builds on discussions with community residents in order to identify and map locations of issues of concern (such as high crime areas), community assets to protect (such as parks, schools and organizations), and factors that impact community violence (such as vacant lots and abandoned buildings). For helpful guidance, refer to the tools available from organizations such as the Advancement Project.

2. Focus and Commit

With this information in hand, choose the most important issues to you and your community, particularly those you can commit to in promoting peace. Here are some among many potential areas of focus that individuals and community peace organizations have chosen, ranging along a continuum from simple to more extensive:

• Arts, music, and cultural programs that promote peace
• Peace and interfaith collaborations, events, vigils, and rallies
• Anti-bullying and other violence prevention initiatives in schools
• Restorative justice programs in schools and community settings that focus on healing rather than punishment
• Partnership strengthening between residents and police
• Formation of local peace commissions
• Establishment of sister-city programs with other communities
• Instituting community by-laws and other policies that foster peace and justice

Several of these will be discussed in more depth, with examples, later in this section.

3. Build and Launch

You don’t have to start building from scratch. Join with others already active in your community to pursue your goals for peace-building. Learn if your town has a peace commission or similar organization. Even if not, the Charter for Compassion lists many communities that have committed to the principles of compassion and are mobilized to take action. You can contact the local organizers of such efforts, or follow their guidelines to help start and implement your own.

4. Evaluate and Maintain

Evaluating your peace-building efforts can help ensure they are effective and sustained. Setting clear and measurable objectives can pave the way for progress that can easily be transparently monitored.

It is vital to be inclusive and listen to the voices of the entire community as you develop, implement, and evaluate as well as celebrate the success of your actions. Guidance is available on the Creating and Maintaining Partnerships portion of the Community Toolkit.

Contexts for Promoting Peace

Below are several different contexts and situations for strategically promoting peace: all involve being inclusive, proactively addressing needs, and anticipating situations that may arise.

When Defining Community

 As we form and define our communities, the groundwork for promoting peace can be laid by ensuring that all in the community are welcome and that none are excluded.

When Strengthening Policies and Initiatives

Peace-building calls upon us to ensure that policies and procedures benefit the entire community. A fundamental first step is to establish and follow a clear, fair, and just rule of law. This relies on full participation of diverse residents and stakeholders in its development and maintenance so that everyone’s needs and contributions can be incorporated.

THE BIG BOOK: PAGES FOR PEACE

“It’s up to us to teach the children about peace,” was a lesson that middle school teacher Betsy Sawyer took to heart. As leader of an after-school program, she and eight ambitious fifth-graders came up with the plan for a giant book about peace that they hoped would make it into the Guinness Book of World Records. While they did not reach their original goal, they were able to achieve something much more impressive.

The group received more than 3,500 letters from peace leaders, politicians, veterans and other students and teachers from around the world during the creation process. The book is a work of art that represents years of intergenerational learning and teamwork on a global scale. Contributions found in the pages are from some of the world’s most notable peace leaders, including: Nelson Mandela, President Jimmy Carter, the Dalai Lama, Dr. Helen Caldicott, Mother Teresa, and Maya Angelou.

After ten years of work, the book they created was displayed at the John F. Kennedy National Library in Boston. The Big Book went on to be featured at the United Nations Headquarters in New York, to encourage future generations and today’s leaders to actively promote peace.

The Bookmakers and Dreamers club now has over 400 students and volunteers, far from the eight students involved during its humble beginnings as an after school program. Growing up with the project inspired many of Ms. Sawyer’s students to pursue careers that help promote peace and understanding. The Big Book has reached countless people internationally, but more significantly in the Northern Massachusetts community that helped it grow. From the project’s sponsors and donors to the students’ parents, more people are thinking about what they can do to spread peace in their community and around the world.

 

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

Introduction

Our aim in this section is to draw a connection between community building and the fostering of hope. Why is this connection important? Because one of the biggest challenges for community builders is the wavering of hope and the specter of failure – the risk that enthusiasm will wane and obstacles in organizing will feed discouragement and withdrawal. 

That peril is real; but in this section we will explore how some community builders have maintained their efforts through a deeper understanding of steadfast commitment, fueled by a deep assurance that long-run change is possible – a characteristic that is fundamental to hope.

 

What is Hope? Some Definitions and Qualities

Hope is More than Wishing for Change

We begin our discussion by noting that hope is more than wishing for change. In daily conversation, hope is often likened to a wish, as in “I hope the sun shines today.” In this casual sense, hope has hardly any substance; it holds little expectation or promise. The sun might shine, it might not. If the weather forecast indicates sunshine, then what follows is mere prediction. If rain is likely, then are these “hopes” ill-founded? This is the “if wishes were fishes” understanding of hope: If hope simply amounts to wishing for a certain outcome, what value does it hold?

Thinking of hope in this way raises the question of whether fostering hope, let alone spreading it, is setting the table for disappointment, maybe even despair. For “hopes” like these could be discounted for failing to recognize the world as it is, and could be charged as foolishly ignoring signs that things will stay the way they are – or get worse. As you work for change, you certainly don’t want to be labeled a naïve and soft-headed optimist!

In the pages of Eleanor Porter’s 1913 book “Pollyanna,” the title character plays a “glad game,” finding something positive in every miserable occurrence, brightness in pain and death, even finding joy, after losing the use of her legs in a traffic accident, in the realization that she still had her legs. Pollyanna has come to be associated with simple-mindedness – a sunny attitude clung to against reason or compassion. This kind of commitment to the proposition that things are not as bad as they seem is not what we are supporting when we talk about spreading hope.

Etymologist Ernest Klein suggests a connection between “hope” and “hop,” as in a hop, or leap of faith; but we will define and explore hope as a chosen perspective that envisions and acts upon the potential for positive change, even in the face of presumed impossibility.

 

 

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

 

INTRODUCTION: THE VALUE OF HOSPITALITY

Hospitality is a valuable spiritual asset for community building. It is a sacred ancient art that makes room at the table of consciousness for everyone, stranger and guest alike. In the genuine warmth and welcoming spirit that hospitality is most known for, it spans cultural divides as a nonviolent pathway, transcending background and nationality.

Moreover, its inclusivity extends to all creatures and to our environment. While unique social customs may apply, a shared system of spiritual values and principled attitudes that create hospitality’s pure essence remain. And, as with all spiritual values, it is deeply embedded within human consciousness.

In this section, we will provide a working definition of hospitality, and note its importance in community life. Through personal stories and examples, we will show how community workers might apply it in community building, and suggest how it might be further developed and promoted. We will then conclude with some challenges and reflection questions regarding its current use.

Therefore, may you allow this discourse to be more of an invitation – a banquet of ideas to feast upon – to drop into that deeper space from heady logic into heart-felt expanse where you may encounter a resonant field from your own experiences that gives you permission to broaden your scope of perception, to open your thoughtful arms wider, and to embrace yourself, your family, your community, and humanity at-large. Then this very table is set just for you.

To prepare the ground for a rudimentary understanding of hospitality's richness, the Bible will be our initial guide, for it contains libraries of ancient oral stories replete with symbols of hospitality. Comprehending spiritual values is commonly accomplished through symbols that change with every new era. As a result, we can understand the symbols of today from the wisdom of yesterday.

Three stories of wisdom about hospitality have been chosen here to stimulate thought, expand spiritual awareness, and illustrate a new way to process ideas. The first story is that of Abraham, the patriarch of three major world religions – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – who is often considered the father of nations and the father of hospitality. The second is from Jesus, who gave us the parable of the Good Samaritan in the Gospel of Luke. And the third is a contemporary story, based on the author’s own experience as a chaplain in today’s correctional institutions. Each of these stories provides an approach that not only touches our sentiments and inspires us to act, but also gives us clear guidance for how to systematically cultivate hospitality through observation, thoughtful questions, and gentle experiments that test our inspiration by moving us out of our comfort zones. In this way, we embody the spiritual values linked with hospitality, enabling them to vivify our way of life.

Especially noticeable within the stories and just as applicable in our times, authentic hospitality and hospitable behavior are able to conquer our fears of refugee migration and various crimes against humanity – hostility, bad blood, genocide, terrorism, and others. The importance and relevance of this understanding for our communities today cannot be overstated, for there is no condition where being the essence of hospitality in our relationships – toward each other, our environment, and all creatures, in all types of communities – will not bless our wide world.

THE STORY OF ABRAHAM

Abram, later renamed Abraham, was the Biblical patriarch who exemplified faith, fidelity, and hospitality. Genesis12 tells the story of how Abraham was called by God to follow a step-by-step process of inner spiritual growth prior to becoming a successful community builder of developing nations, as was his promised destiny. He would need to:

• Follow God’s command
• Separate himself from his own heredity, heritage, traditions, and tribal views
• Transcend his own sensory indulgences
• Overcome great hostility from others, as experienced in the war with the five kings
• Be rewarded by the hospitality of Melchizedek, King of Salem (Peace), who appeared with nourishment – bread, wine, and blessings – for Abram's perseverance in seeking, finding, and utilizing his newly-discovered spiritual assets with each step taken
• Be renamed Abraham, personally identifying with those spiritual qualities as his own nature

By performing these tasks, Abraham was prepared to humbly provide a true sense of hospitality to visiting messengers through rest and comfort; he offered them shelter and food; he washed their feet; he served and protected them. He was then rewarded with safety for himself, and the promise of a child.

LESSONS FROM THE STORY OF ABRAHAM

Each step Abraham took, and each challenge he overcame, was rewarded by others until he was able to provide that same sense of hospitality to others. Only then would the promise be fulfilled and multiplied throughout the communities and nations that Abraham would father.

This same pattern will work for us in building the true sense of community – our promised child. That definitive step-by-step process, from individual spiritual awakening to trusting the guiding principles, will cast out preconceived notions and obsolete traditions, leaving us with the hospitable nourishment that provides peaceful resolve for the day. Despite today's faster pace, we can tap into our own intuition to release antiquated belief systems that may prevent us from serving our communities from a peace-centered standpoint.

As community workers, we too will be faced or even blind-sided at times with various issues or challenges from co-workers, authorities, or political figures. Therefore, to prepare ourselves, it is well to ask, “Can I expect hospitality to save me from engaging in direct conflict?” and “Can it shift my perception to taking no offense from others’ ill-timed remarks, so that we may all continue to move forward in advancing the community?” When true hospitality is acquired, the answers to these questions will be a resounding “Yes.”

THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN

In the Biblical books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy, the cornerstone of hospitality is presented:

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might....and thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

(Deuteronomy 6:5)

And further:

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him. But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; For ye were strangers in the land of Egypt....

(Leviticus 19:33)

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus exemplifies these laws with his answer to a query of temptation: “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 18:18). Through the famous Parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus then gives an answer showing how hostile brutality could be overcome through a relationship endowed with the full range of hospitality:

A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. By chance a certain priest was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side.

But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. … Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a neighbor to him who fell among the robbers?"

The questioner said, “He who showed mercy on him."

Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."

(Luke 10:30-34, 36-37, World Bible)

 

 

LESSONS FROM THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN

The Good Samaritan displayed an unequaled sense of hospitality that incorporated moral courage in the midst of hostile territory – the courage to be honest, responsible, respectful, fair, and compassionate. And in practice it is "the willing endurance of significant danger for the sake of principle." (Kidder, 1996).

The road where the Good Samaritan happened upon the brutalized stranger was known as “The Way of Blood,” due to the constant, savage muggings normally ending in death. He, therefore, risked all for the sake of this principle – that all life matters – and proved that it is not enough to have spiritual values: Those values must also be put into action.

The Good Samaritan's response also illustrated a new and more advanced model of hospitality, one calling us to aid another in less than welcoming, even abhorrent, circumstances. And possibly even more profound was the fact that Samaritans were hated by the Jews. They were considered a blight on the face of humanity, mortal enemies, and people who were derogatorily labeled as "half-breeds" and treated as outcasts with no access to God or the Temple of Jerusalem.

Yet, here was a Samaritan with a consciousness so undefiled, so pure, that he did not see an enemy. He would illustrate what representatives of the religious and political arenas did not – great empathy, demonstrating compassion and love so lavish it knew no boundaries. The Samaritan bound up the man's wounds, carried him to an inn, cared for him through the night, and also gave the innkeeper enough money to continue his care for two months with the promise of more if needed – an unlimited sense of love without end.

For community builders, this parable leads us to ask ourselves: “Am I willing to become a spiritual activist of hospitality, as was the Good Samaritan?” “Am I a neighbor who loves lavishly in an unqualified way?” “Can I demonstrate love that knows no limitations to my family, let alone an enemy?” “Am I to show the same degree of hospitality to others within my community practice? If so, how?” “Do I understand that as I exemplify these core spiritual values of hospitality in daily practice, this gives others – recipients and observers alike – permission to do the same?” “What will my story be for my community: hospitable behavior, or a detached, apathetic attitude that walks on by?”

HOSPITALITY IN THE FACE OF A HOSTAGE SITUATION IN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM

(A recollection from Linn Moffett, the author of this section.)

As a chaplain in seven jails for over eight years, I have seen hospitality shine brightly in some very long and dark corners.

As a bit of a maverick chaplain, I once took action to encourage a county sheriff and guards to allow a separate meeting time for incarcerated people with intellectual or developmental disabilities, housed in their own cell block. The guards were ever finding ways to discourage activities for chaplains, and felt that they had the perfect solution to stop my persistence in attempting to bring adequate inspiration, spiritual, moral, and ethical teachings, hope, and comfort to the inmates.

On one of my appointed times for a group service for the men, the other incarcerated people were ushered into the chapel. The doors were closed and locked, with no attending guards on the inside. This act in itself was completely in violation of the rules. After a short interval, the men from the housing unit for incarcerated people with intellectual or developmental disabilities were brought into the mix and we were all locked inside the same room. Again, with no attending guards. An added violation, as the mentally challenged were never to mix with the regular cell block inmates.

Mayhem ensued, as several guards watched through the back wall of bullet-proof glass, sneering and laughing. To their chagrin, I was completely unafraid as I sat in the front of the room. Then, one of the other incarcerated people in the front row, a very large man attempting intimidation in the midst of this chaos, stood up, puffed up, faced me directly, then boomed, “Well, honey, are you going to save us all?”

My initial reaction was a giggle. I then humbly responded, “No sir, that is not my job. I leave that up to the Christ.” He silently stood still for a moment, turned to the room of yelling inmates with flying debris, and with authority insisted that everyone sit down and be completely quiet or they would answer to him. Within moments the room was quiet, chairs in place with everyone seated, and there was a tangible presence of respect, honor, and gratitude. I continued the service, not only without any further scene but with a full complement of respectful attention.

This incident completely baffled the guards and brought a renewed respect for the office of chaplain from that time forward. One of the guards inquired, “Why weren't you afraid?” “How could you maintain composure through all of that chaos?” And, “Why did you not seek retribution from the participating guards, including me, in their power play, their complete abuse of the justice system, and your being put in a hostage situation by those who were paid to protect you?”

I gently smiled and advised him that I never did count on any of them for my protection. My protection came from embodying those spiritual qualities belonging to hospitality – an open, receptive, and nurturing love for humanity, along with drawing on the inner peace that calms and comforts no matter the storm. He became very pensive. This story was later circulated among the guards throughout the different maximum security jails. It even rippled into inmates’ cells across county lines as news travelled out into the communities, since it was considered a miraculous event. Having been shown actual evidence of a radical and spiritually-based hospitality, this one incident blessed even those chaplains of different faiths.

LESSONS FROM HOSPITALITY IN THE FACE OF A HOSTAGE SITUATION

A key lesson from this story, and from the other stories cited above, is that to act hospitably sometimes means moving out of one’s personal comfort zone; and it can mean taking some risk. But hospitable action is an incredibly powerful way to expand mind and heart.

So, can you let these stories become subjective? Can you allow them to manifest themselves in your home, in your business, in your thinking, in your body, and in your life – and then to go even beyond action, as we learn the art of being hospitable? After all, this is not only our true nature that we are contemplating; it is our true employment in the rebuilding of our individual natures – for ourselves, our communities, and our world.

 

DEFINITION: THE NATURE AND SCOPE OF HOSPITALITY

As we have seen through the above examples, hospitality is a compound idea – one that incorporates a number of spiritual values, tightly woven together. Its overarching essence is Love – a love for all of Life's manifestations, taking into consideration the artful details of ambience, service, cuisine, entertainment, and protection that warm and enchant the senses, satisfy the heart with attentive care and tenderness, promote festivity, provide a rhythm to life's expressions, and furnish a safe haven. As such, hospitality is a multi-faceted jewel with a treasure trove of virtues and spiritual values.

Hospitality's roots are derived from the Latin hospes (masculine) and hospita (feminine), and also, according to the Oxford and Webster Dictionaries, from the Old French hospitalite, all pointing to “the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.” Then, as modified by time, “… the business of entertaining clients, business delegates, or other official visitors.”

We also discover from its root that hospitality can refer to both host and guest, or to a traveling guest, or stranger. It is easy to recognize many of the derivative forms that it takes, such as hospice, hostel, hotel, hospital, host, and hostess. The innkeeper was considered as presiding over a house of God, providing a sacred place for shelter and sustenance for travelers, but more to receive strangers as guests.

Hospes/hospita, as stated, is also the source of the word “hospital,” “a word that in 14th-century English referred to an inn; took on in the 15th century the meaning of a refuge for the homeless, and was being used widely by the 16th century for an institution that cares for the sick.” References at the end of this section will allow a more in-depth investigation.

The French scholar and prolific contributor to the Encyclopedia, Chevalier Louis de Jaucourt (1704-1779), describes hospitality as “the virtue of a great soul that cares for the whole universe through the ties of humanity.” He pointed out that historically a variety of cultures – in Egypt, Ethiopia, Persia, Italy, Greece, and Rome – expanded hospitality to include edifices built to receive and house foreigners beyond peoples' individual homes, whereas the Israelites narrowed their concept of hospitality when their commerce ended with neighboring communities.

The Germans, Celts, Gauls, and Atlantic peoples considered it sacrilege to close one's door to any man, known or unknown. Asians spared nothing in hosting their visitors, including the washing of feet or full baths prior to their welcoming festivities; afterwards, they would invoke the protecting gods of hospitality to watch over and care for their honored guests. And Indians, the most hospitable of all, treated enslaved people as they treated themselves and welcomed travelers through the “establishment of hospices and specific magistracies for furnishing travelers with life's necessities,” even to the extent of “taking care of the funerals for those who died on their land.”

Since both giver and receiver were considered blessed through their coming together, it was an accepted form of gratitude for both to leave a gift that marked the hospitality given toward individuals, entire families, and even cities. A coin, piece of wood, or ivory would be cut in half and given to each party for posterity to mark the occasion as sacrosanct, much like the love heart half-necklaces and friendship bracelets of the 20th and 21st centuries. It was also generally accepted across cultures that if hospitality was not granted to an individual or group, it was considered a crime against humanity

Globally then, we discover that hospitality was considered a sacred art that united all nations, until commerce broke the ties of benevolence among individuals and shifted their focus from a love of people to a love of financial interest. Now, through a detached sense of humanity, the wealthy pay for the services of hospitality, further severing the ties that bind the hearts of men in fellowship.

Do we now understand that being authentically hospitable is a matter of our whole orientation to ourselves and to each other, as it redefines all of our relationships? It might also help to consider how blending the elements of hospitality enables us to touch the sentiments, creating a definite feeling of hospitality. A hospitable person is likely to exhibit tangible generosity of spirit, confidently comfortable and co-operative charitableness, unsparing graciousness, ungrudging sincerity, and an all-inclusive welcome with open-heartedness and festivity.

So as we sit on the hearth of hospitality, in the warmth of its grand array, we may contemplate the infinite range of its expression. We can hear its call, inviting us in to partake of this consciousness so vital to our own needs and that of our communities.

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF HOSPITALITY AND HOSPITABLE BEHAVIOR FOR COMMUNITY BUILDING

THE RELEVANCE OF HOSPITABLE BEHAVIOR

As we begin to understand through our definitions, stories, and a few real-life examples of hospitality, every layer of hospitable behavior reveals something new about the cohesiveness of the larger community of mankind. These lessons are not only relevant, but imperative for our health, welfare, and general living conditions.

People are hungry for community, and for communities that connect us in meaningful ways, especially when events, such as our current immigration crisis, challenge previous societal norms. As Michal Vasecka, a university sociologist from the Czech Republic, has stated: “We are deeply uninclusive societies. Migration reveals this unpleasant truth about ourselves.”

It is true that these are extraordinary times, uncovering our deepest fears. Could there then be a better time for authentic hospitality, inspired by love, to re-appear? Community builders have the potential to alter unhealthy barriers and welcome newcomers into a true community – one that is rich in diversity, conscious in acceptance, and where there is room at the table for everyone. Being hospitable can transform all of our relationships.

THE CONVERGENCE OF THE SCIENCES AND SPIRITUALITY IN HOSPITABLE BEHAVIOR

An emerging and exciting trend of consciousness studies is that neuroscience and psychotherapy are including and adopting spiritual practices. These in turn are re-creating practical approaches to overcome addictive spirals, and to help people heal from old, even generational traumas, so that they may live full, productive, and empowered lives. Those lives may then serve their beloved communities from a hospitable, healed space instead of being held hostage to their wounded places and combustible fear-based behaviors.

The neurosciences, supported by interdisciplinary scientific collaborations, now have definitive proof that the human nervous system responds very effectively to those spiritual characteristics inherent within hospitality. More than that, evidence shows that new pathways to higher functioning are simultaneously created – the brain actually lights up, creating a sense of euphoria.

Some sample developments:

• Heartmath, which utilizes modern technology to teach people how to live from the heart, is just one of many scientific organizations that recognizes humanity's need to move from learned habits that are less than hospitable and that negatively affect the health of mankind. It emphasizes technological tools to enhance spiritual-mindedness.
• Bruce H. Lipton, a pioneering biologist, has shown in his Biology of a Belief and other books how our limited and temporal belief systems shape patterns of behavior that affect every cell within our bodies. Negative input appears as disease, whereas spiritual-mindedness filled with positive input appears as a co-operative system that is able to spontaneously evolve.
• The Science of Being Institute takes a different approach, by redefining human anatomy as a system of temporal beliefs that could keep mankind entangled in a false framework of reference ruled by selfishness instead of selflessness. Such systems can train us out of our basic spiritual essence, even though we are naturally open to the heart of humanity, and can spontaneously evolve with a spiritual understanding that elevates the human race.

These are just a few organizations and individuals dedicated to re-educating and helping humanity that take a different direction to heal old wounds for the betterment of our communities and all their residents. If we can therefore cultivate and develop those characteristics that create hospitable behavior, we will get a direct payoff by living better and caring for each other all along the way.

THE EFFECTIVENESS OF HOSPITALITY IN COMMUNITY BUILDING

The effect of hospitality on an individual and/or community is to stir the human sentiments to a more loving standard of being – cooperating and cohabitating as neighborhoods within communities.

Community builders will discover that to be truly effective, a few key elements of hospitality must be perpetually present: mutual respect, the ethics of reciprocity, and friendly, interdependent co-operation. These powerful components help gain trust that builds personal confidence in relationships and therefore helps construct a thriving and sustainable community, where individuals continue to be inspired to work with each other for the common good.

However, many times it is more difficult to be effective with people that we do know or have been working with, since we have made assumptions about them. It may be easier to be hospitable toward those we are not close to. If we discover this is true, it is a definite call to check our motives. Do we actually embrace the qualities of hospitality as part of our own nature, or is it just surface appearance? If it is superficial, we are in for a rude awakening, since the deep-seated truth of any situation will eventually rise to the surface, compromising the health of any relationship and certainly any joint effort.

Recalling the Good Samaritan's supremely effective hospitality, we should ask ourselves: “Will we walk on the other side of the street or not even look into the eyes of that person experiencing homelessness, thereby depriving him or her of being considered worthy of membership in our community?” “Have we ever shared a sandwich with them on the curbside or under a tree?” “Do we understand, or just underestimate, their predicament?” “Are we able to care, to take the time to talk with them, and not think that by giving them a dollar we have fulfilled our quota in being a community builder?” That has never been an effective solution.   

It is true that some are mentally challenged, and others abuse the system from learned responses to poverty; but it is also true that some have fallen prey to the economic crisis, forced migration, or an abusive situation, and that any form of hospitality would bring relief to their suffering.

And are we conscious of those in need within our communities? This is not to imply that we should look for problems that are not there, but rather to be conscious and ready to extend a helping hand to all living beings, whether by providing directions to a stranger with the gift of a warm smile, by picking up a baby bird that has fallen from her nest and gently putting her back in, or by helping a senior bicyclist who has found the only pothole in the street and crashed in the midst of traffic.

All these scenarios and certainly many more are invitations to become conscious of our community surroundings and to promote hospitality as an effective and health-giving solution, both in minor details as well as in major community projects.

 

FAVORABLE CONDITIONS FOR BEING HOSPITABLE

All conditions are favorable for being hospitable, but some are more favorable than others. It is especially desirable and useful to be hospitable when:

• There have been particular conflicts in the community.
• There is a particular opportunity for community leaders and members to promote hospitality, such as when there has been an influx of new residents to the community, whether as job-seekers, refugees, or otherwise.
• Some members of the community have been criticized, rejected, or physically or emotionally harmed simply because of their association with a particular group or category.

But another favorable and necessary condition for hospitality involves personal, spiritual, and physical preparation. If such preparation has not been made, it is much more difficult for true hospitality to be expressed. For real change, transformation, metamorphosis – whatever term appeals to you – is ushered in only through spirit-infused messages as when heart speaks to waiting heart. It is important to ask yourself if you are ready and able to have the humility that it takes to allow these changes to take place.

As an example, let’s consider a community meeting I once chaired as President. It had escalated into hostile expressions of strong differences of opinion. One person's passionate reaction, voice tonality, and body language had been triggered by a single word in a discussion and immediate hostility ensued, leading to verbal battle. But as Chair, I engaged in a full array of hospitable behavior, as sacred listening, empathy, a peaceful resolve, and mindful (not reactionary) response were welcomed into my thought. The situation gently defused; the atmosphere shifted to the positive, demonstrating that hospitable behavior strengthened the group, with the added benefit of providing an example of how hospitality can pro-actively resolve conflicts.

Across the globe, the world convulses with old and new forms of more aggressive acts of oppression, tyranny, and terror, because the collective consciousness is being fed through negativity. Yet this is exactly where heartfelt hospitality is able to break down such negative influences. Through inner stillness, the qualities of hospitality provide the balance innately woven within the structure of each one of us, our beautiful planet, and our universe – from a blade of grass to the cosmos and everything in between. We just need to be reminded of who we really are and how we can attune to this larger system, since our lives extend far beyond our perceived limitations.

That is, a fundamental aspect of hospitality and of our human experience is that all life is interdependent, operating as an integral whole. We need each other. As translated down to our everyday experiences, it is not necessarily what is said, it is rather what the other person hears that has everything to do with how we make them feel. Therefore, the qualities of hospitality play a crucial role in every part of our everyday life – not just in the basic courtesy or warm welcome extended to a guest in our home, or even to an action to reconcile a disagreement. In this sense, the definition of “home” can be extended and redefined to be that sacred place called spiritual consciousness, which is always hospitable.

And yet, some of the bigger questions remain. To what extent are we ready to take on a commitment to being fully hospitable? How far will we go to advocate for an individual case, service, or cause that would raise the community to be a model for others to follow? Do we have the courage to really listen to the community's heartbeat, move into its rhythm, and participate at any level? Is it our responsibility? Are we willing to move out of our perceived comfort zones to extend comfort to others right where they are?

My personal experience has been that if you are the one that is presented with a community challenge, then it is yours to meet; for at some level you have been prepared for it to show up and teach you higher levels of hospitable behavior for the community and its people. We must learn to take off self-imposed limitations to discover our freedom and therein find moments of free time to serve our communities and both create and sustain more favorable conditions.

 

HOW TO BE HOSPITABLE: STORIES AND LESSONS OF HOSPITALITY IN ACTION

As community builders, there are almost unlimited opportunities to provide hospitality, in widely varying settings. And offering such hospitality can allow us to express our creativity in ways that can not only involve sharing a festive meal, but can also enchant the senses, furnish a safe haven, and satisfy the heart with attentive care and tenderness.

Let’s give some examples. In this part of our section, we offer some varied stories and lessons about hospitality in action.

HOSPITALITY ACROSS CULTURAL DIVIDES

An assignment from a major Japanese corporation was for me to provide hospitality to a young Japanese couple who had just arrived in America on a five-year contract. I was chosen to make them feel at home in their new culture – a high honor, since Japanese people are known for their hospitality. This position drew upon the full range of what I knew about hospitality and had been using as a daily practice of service to humanity.

Our first meeting was mildly successful. The twenty-something couple came to visit for a casual lunch. They were gently curious about everything and requested a full tour of my modest home. Pleasantly surprised to discover that I had a penchant for Orientalia, they exuded excitement as they came upon a triptych, an original artwork by a famous Japanese artist. My guest explained that this work represented the ancient art of Chokin, originating in 10th and 11th -century Japan to decorate Samurais' armaments, and that the original meaning of samurai is “those who serve.” The core values of a samurai and of hospitality are much the same.

The next week, my husband and I were invited to their apartment and treated as highly honored guests. The husband and wife, donning their beautiful kimonos, greeted us in deeply held low bows of stillness. They explained their social customs as we were humbly led through the rituals of bowing, shoe removal, and sitting on the floor. There we received small hot cleansing towels and then experienced the full tea ceremony with freshly prepared confections and a gentle conversation that continued for about three hours. The tea was a delicious extravagance from Japan. Attuned to my sensory delight, they presented me with a generous supply of tea as a gift.

Their every movement was an exquisite display of fluidity, poetry, and attentiveness – an art where every motion was accomplished with such conscious awareness as to paint beauty into the atmosphere being breathed in and then translated as inner peace.

I was so deeply infused with this type of prayerful practice that I would never be the same; I would now upgrade my sense of hospitality into everyday gratitude and service of this type at home and within my community.

Can you imagine a community permeated with this type of hospitality? Where harmony promotes a feeling of oneness with all people and all nature, including the atmospheric conditions. Where respect is naturally born of a grateful heart and animates one’s every action toward others and even to inanimate objects. Where purity of thought is as important as the cleanliness of one's home or a dish, the spiritual focus remaining the same throughout every task. And, where a tangible state of tranquility, not attainable through conscious effort but as a way of grace, serves as the same dynamic and significant force that infused the tea ceremony. Are you ready to embrace this honorable and peace-centered state of being for your own sake and that of your home, community, and country?

These deep underlying qualities have been preserved for millennia. They yield an enhanced life-style that is warm and welcoming, higher profitability in all things including relationships, and greater long-term growth, development, and sustainability for the community and its people. Who would not want to bring these combined energies to bear in building this new model of hospitable behavior?

TEACHING CHILDREN HOSPITALITY – FROM THE REMOTE AREAS OF AFRICA

A simple and beautifully touching practice in remote areas of Kenya is that young children are taught to always prepare more food at every meal than is necessary for the family, in constant anticipation that a weary traveler might be in need of sustenance and a place to rest for the night.

This is an early education in hospitality where the gift of benevolence is from their abundant heart, not from scarcity or want. Nor does fear enter in, for there is an unspoken reality that any traveler would be a fool to steal from or harm a host, since the entire community would become first responders to protect any host family. And though tribalism remains prevalent, a vibrancy still radiates into the neighborhoods and binds them together, continuing to strengthen their cohesiveness through hospitable behavior toward each tribe, as common ground is shared. The successful story of Ngochoni Petals of Africa School is just such a narrative.

HOSPITALITY WITHIN AN INTERFAITH FOUNDATION ON A UNIVERSITY CAMPUS

The only interfaith foundation located on a university campus in the U.S. is housed in a small temporary building, but one normally burgeoning with the smiling faces of students, clergy, and professors. It is a hub of activity where spiritual meetings, counsellings, and multi-faith services occur constantly. A unique aspect of this community also involves a well-attended weekly luncheon open to students, professors, priests, chaplains, ministers, rabbis, imams, and any other denomination wishing to be represented.

Sharing meals together is an aspect of hospitality that builds strong relationships, seen here in the joy of working with each other – in this case, through setting up and breaking down tables and chairs, decorating for celebrations, group cooking and serving of food, musical performances, and stimulating conversations.

An abundant cultural diversity is ever-present. Everyone interacts with loving countenances, whether they are doing homework, socializing, eating, or praying individually or collectively. Fundraising events are always well attended, since the key attributes of hospitality are shared – warm welcomes, willing hands, and open hearts.

This Interfaith Foundation provides a safe haven where hospitality is practiced effortlessly on a daily basis, as a natural outcome of love and gratitude for its sacred space on campus.

HOSPITALITY IN SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASSES AND NEIGHBORHOOD OPEN FORUMS

Teaching all age levels of Sunday school classes in a church and teaching multi-cultural Open Forums in neighborhoods have brought considerable opportunities to utilize and teach hospitality and hospitable behavior for more than 30 years. Through use of stories and symbols (Jedi Training was a favorite for the youngsters – do not be afraid of improvisation and innovation) appropriate for each grade level, hospitable attitudes were discussed and practiced as the youth wrestled with moral and ethical issues, too often far beyond their innocence.

Spiritual teaching is not meant to be theoretical, but rather supremely practical in the everyday lives of each of us, and it is certainly necessary to train our youth in interacting with family and friends, classmates, school groups, and teachers. Hospitality and its inherent qualities are needed assets for their mental lunch boxes and to counteract popular cultural obsessions, such as noses in cell phones. I supported their growing understanding through mentoring sociability beyond Sunday school and open forums, by attending their school classrooms, drama clubs, and dinners with parents. This provided a blueprint for the students and parents to follow in being hospitable within their own spheres.

As a servant leader, teacher, and radical hospitality advocate, this work was a true community-building activity that gave young children, youth, and adults a very different experience, with a focus on the importance of creating communities based on their inherent hospitable qualities.

THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF HOSPITALITY

As we learn more about the guiding principles of hospitality, do not be surprised if a transformation begins to appear. Where might that transformation lead?

Within yourself, it might lead you to become more:

• Inspired and courageous
• Clear (selfless, unencumbered by agendas)
• Disciplined and happy
• Powerful (“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace” – Jimi Hendrix)
• Abundant
• Openly authentic and dignified
• Peaceful
• Filled with purpose for the common good

Toward others, you might become more:

• Welcoming and receptive (as a listener)
• Compassionate
• Focused
• Friendly, polite, and relatable
• Generous and charitable
• Honest
• Comforting and comfortable
• Filled with grace, and ready to reciprocate and nourish

And the Community itself might become more:

• Mindfully curious
• Resilient
• Steadfast
• Responsible and constructive in dialogue
• Dynamic
• Ethical
• Resolved
• Joy-filled, in celebration that its members have the honor to be in service to it

Cultivating hospitality and hospitable behavior is one of the wisest possible investments: It is an investment in self, in relationships, in community, and in global affairs.

 

DEVELOPING AND PROMOTING THE ART OF HOSPITALITY

As can be seen and felt through the previous illustrations, a first requirement in developing and promoting hospitality is to approach the setting from a peaceful center of prepared and expectant thought. But, how do we get there from here?

Recall that hospitality is a spiritual value with many branches, reaching out in a non-linear manner. Accordingly, developing hospitality requires an openness and receptivity of thought as the starting point for the seed of hospitality to grow, develop, and be promoted. Many methods enable us to move into a central space of inner peace. And while what works for one might not work for another, one useful pathway is described below.

TEACHING AND LEARNING HOSPITALITY AND HOSPITABLE BEHAVIOR THROUGH A MEDITATIVE PRACTICE

 For those searching for a way to calm their internal chatter and to rediscover their spiritual center for authentic hospitality to shine through, I have designed a creative process called Seven Steps to Cultivate Spiritual Consciousness. A description and details of these Seven Steps are given in a tool that accompanies this section. The Seven Steps have proven to be very effective in transforming behaviors not previously aligned with hospitality’s spiritual values. While this process is not meant to be proscriptive or prescriptive, it can speed individual and collective or group progress to learn how to:

• Grasp the nuances of hospitality that can expand one’s frame of reference
• Enhance confidence, empower gentleness of spirit, and move unhelpful emotional behavior out of consciousness
• Hear and heed one’s inner voice of guidance, to enable the constant discovery of fresh, innovative ideas
• Allow the flow of a genuine hospitable demeanor that continues to expand and become more inclusive for its community

The Seven Steps teach us that we should celebrate goodness wherever found, for the spirit of hospitality is most ardently felt when human relationships, familiar customs, and the belief systems of old are undergoing dramatic changes. And we should embrace these changes with gratitude and appreciation, since these are measures of our spiritual evolution from hostility to hospitality.

While we have identified seven key steps to cultivate spiritual consciousness, continued practice is the key. We should not think that a surface study of this or any teaching and learning tool will accomplish anything. We are rather describing a meditative practice that requires persistence, cherishing, and nurturing hospitality to bring forward its gifts. We should listen to our soul with newfound spiritual understanding, for that opens doors to profoundly enhance our lives and the communities we live, work, and play in. In the words of Lao Tzu, “Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.”

To bring home the practical value of meditative practice, let us illustrate with some examples showing how such practice can lead to powerful real-world results.

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES OF HOW MEDITATIVE PRACTICE INSPIRES BUILDING COMMUNITY

Training Volunteers in the Art of Hospitality

I was called upon by the headquarters of a major East Coast publishing house to recruit and develop a cadre of over 100 volunteer publisher representatives to contact bookstores on the West Coast. This entailed training in many areas. It was a grassroots project requiring a pioneering spirit; the new recruits who wanted to be part of this project had very little experience in anything closely related.

The new recruits needed to be trained in hospitality. This training was interactive, based on the Seven Steps to Cultivate Spiritual Consciousness, described in the Appendix to this section. It taught how to overcome resistance by first addressing resistance within ourselves. This method acts as a filtration system that answers objections before they arise, in an approach so gentle that it is rarely recognized.

In addition to gathering the recruits and training them through group and individual sessions, it was my job to orchestrate bookstore events, and the volunteer's work to ensure that every bookstore in the Los Angeles basin and surrounding cities was fully stocked with a particular book. Since many bookstores had not heard of this book or author, it was very necessary for the volunteers to understand and assimilate the spiritual qualities of hospitality – for these assets are more effective influencers than traditional sales techniques. And ultimately, the majority of stores responded positively by carrying this book.

The majority of the volunteers had absolutely no experience in the area of hospitality, let alone meeting face-to-face with managers who did not want to stock anything beyond what was already on their shelves and back rooms. It quickly became apparent that a large group training day on hospitality was needed. I set out to find a facility that would accommodate a large group meeting centrally located to the majority of volunteers.

So I was pleasantly surprised to discover a premier hotel of historical significance in Manhattan Beach, CA, owned by a former movie star with a heart of great benevolence. As I shared my hope to do a mass training on hospitality for our work, she offered her hotel and personnel gratis if she and some of her staff could attend the sessions. It was a beautiful example of Love's synchronicity.

As a servant leader who saw this project succeed through those volunteers, my gratitude continually spilled over. Gratitude is another powerful aspect of hospitality that gives birth to unexpected blessings in unforeseen ways of sheer delight – expect this in your own work!

In this example, a micro-community of devoted individuals was created within an enormous metropolis, spreading the spiritual qualities of hospitality on every street they traveled, in every hand shaken, and in every bookstore. Its impression can still be felt. And it was recognized and appreciated by the East Coast publisher, who then sent me to represent them and train others at American Book Association meetings in Chicago, then to Boston, and to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, to further train an international group of sales managers.

Hospitality within the Neighborhood

Every morning in the wee hours of a breaking dawn, I would walk my two beloved Afghan Hounds prior to getting the household up and out to school and myself to work. It was often a time of deep reflection and prayer to start the day. However, admittedly there were times that walking the dogs often felt more like a chore, instead of appreciating all that these beauties gave to the family unit. And there were days when I actually resented this activity, even though the dogs were not my children's but mine.

But one day, after many years of walking the same route throughout the neighborhood, an older neighbor came outside to engage us. She let me know that she was moving. At first thought, since I was also President of our homeowner's association, I assumed that was her reason for approach.

However, as she continued, she informed me with undeterred gratitude that every morning she would sit by the window with her coffee and wait for us to walk by. This very act of walking my dogs caused her to feel a sense of deep peace and complete safety. She further confided that she could feel the love I expressed for my dogs and for our community partly by my being consistently present over so many years.

We embraced as tears freely flowed for our individual reasons of sheer gratitude. Such gratitude is a powerful aspect of hospitality – for one cannot effectively receive without knowing how to give unconditionally. The welcome recognition that I had touched someone's heart without being consciously aware of it was actually an “unconditional” act of giving love, flowing unrestrictedly out into the community.

This was a powerful example of hospitality in action. Here is another:

The Direct Healing Power of Hospitality

As a Chaplain, my early morning spiritual practice after walking my Afghan Hounds was to study, meditate, and pray for several hours prior to any other activity. One morning a friend, who was driving a great distance to share a pre-planned shopping day, literally blew through the front screen door enraged due to a difficult three-hour trip. Another motorist had attempted to run her off the road and nearly succeeded. It did not help her red-faced and shaking body to discover that I was still at prayerful study and not ready to shop. For every time I attempted to get up to dress, it was as if a hand on my shoulder sat me back down to continue in prayer. I obliged without question.

The preparation of spiritual consciousness was about to open several gifts in this one day. First, as I quietly looked upon my friend in my home, without leaving my chair and without a word, I witnessed her rage melt like hot wax down her body to her feet and then disappear. She stood in stillness for a moment, then warmly smiled and gently asked if I was now able to get ready for our day together. I lovingly smiled and moved to do just that.

Second, now completely refreshed and relaxed, she insisted on driving. As we approached our first destination, there were two men holding torn hand-made cardboard signs of “Will work for food.” Not an uncommon sight for all too many years now. However, this time was very different for me. I insisted that we stop to talk to one man in particular. My friend was completely against this activity, but with a definite confidence I boldly persisted. I knew exactly which man I was to speak with and made arrangements to pick him up the next day.

From a perspective of worldly consciousness, my friend insisted I was not only foolish but over-the-top unwise (attended by several expletives!). It consumed her thought as continued objections flowed from her heart. How could I even consider taking a man experiencing homelessness into my home? These objections lasted throughout the entire day of shopping and ranged from every suggestion of robbery to bodily suffering and torture to violent death, all in an attempt to move my thought from the higher consciousness that I was entertaining into a state of fear. Any portion of fear would have satisfied her.

Even as I tried to quench her fears with every breath, I could see that my statements, although filled with the spirit of love, were never going to be enough to convince her that there is safety in following spiritual intuition that permeates consciousness. And maintaining the purity of one’s spiritual intuition is necessary to assure that safety – for even a thought seed of corruption, no matter how slight or subtle, will spoil the entire blessing and cause it to drop into the land where fear is king. To maintain the axiom, “As in heaven, so on earth” was my current job, and she (and I) were about to discover this in real time through my experience, which she would later share.

We had been best friends for a very long time; our children had gone through their teen years together and were now on their own with their own families. My only roommates were my beloved pets. Normally I would have considered her objections, given her strong ability to persuade based on our long friendship. However, this situation did not come under the umbrella of anything humanly derived or contrived. It was an invitation from my spiritual intuition to accept the man's work in exchange for food.

After picking the man up the next day, I showed him all that needed repair in my home. Previous handymen and carpenters had advised that some small items were not repairable. I was about to discover the largesse of hospitality’s blessing – for both of us. This man was a talented carpenter and advised that everything could be repaired, from the smallest of items to the larger.

My next insistence to this fellow involved a much needed shower, while I washed all of his belongings including his sleeping bag. The smells were very difficult to work with and overcome, but I was able to provide him with fresh clothing from a son's closet that I had not gone through and then cooked him a full hot meal prior to any work expected or accomplished. Our dinner conversation was completely open as he shared about experiencing homelessness – the why's and the wherefores. Based on laws from another state, his former wife had taken the house he had designed and built for their life together, leaving him with only his truck and tools.

Then he had been beaten, and had all of his tools stolen, then his truck. He literally had nothing left. Another man experiencing homelessness had provided him with the stinky sleeping bag that he had been using for over a year – his only warmth and sense of comfort. When I met him, he was living under a bridge. And, experiencing homelessness, he was forced to be continually on the move, hiding under bushes or highway underpasses, since a person experiencing homelessness in our society often runs afoul of the law. (Law enforcement is frequently on the lookout to move people experiencing homelessness out of their communities. Has your own city become a City of Compassion and hospitality in the broadest sense? If so, inherent blessings will be revealed.)

I was so divinely impelled by this gentle man's presence and complete honesty that I offered him a full complement of hospitality in exchange for his work. This included sharing my home, with his own bathroom and new toiletries, and preparation of all food – we ate meals together, I did his laundry, and trusted him in my home when I worked and shopped for the food. He repaired everything with the talent of an artisan and beyond, even to painting a room. In the evenings, we shared brilliant conversations, board games, and television; we became great “roommates.”

He accepted my hospitality for about a month when my best friend, though originally antagonistic to this situation, asked if he would help at her home in the mountains (since I hadn’t turned up dead). He agreed. She was able to provide him with a small wage and a place to live in exchange for his work. Several months later, she helped him find his next position, a more lucrative situation that allowed him to re-enter a new way of life where he belonged, because he had been healed of his grief and deep resentment.

There is no way to measure the benefits of the expansion of consciousness and spiritual power brought about by this full experience in hospitality, with all of its added blessings to everyone participating. We spiritually heard each other’s song, sang it back to them, and strengthened the fabric of humanity as a whole by a small degree.

 

POTENTIAL START-UP IDEAS FOR HOSPITALITY IN NEIGHBORHOODS

COMMUNITY HOSPITALITY NIGHT

Many communities I have lived in participate in an annual Hospitality Night, usually in December. It is a wonderful celebration of community in the downtown area where neighbors meet. Holiday decorations and lights line the streets creating a sense of magic, while neighbors stroll with their families and pets, greeting others and meeting new friends.

Live music is in the air and throughout the streets, with costumed carolers roaming, and a special arrival of Santa and his reindeer at his “house,” with real snow trucked in from the mountains of California for the children. As their parents wait in line, the children can play in the snow before sharing their hopes and dreams with Santa. There are tree lightings, church choir bells, and sing-alongs, with trolleys up and down the coastline adding to the celebration.   

Ceremonies of appreciation and gratitude for community members and volunteers for their individual contributions take center stage and are a vital aspect of this hospitable celebration. Businesses provide food and drink gratis along with significant store discounts; some even hire talented musicians who create their own ambience within the individual stores. It is an atmosphere of warmth, joy, and goodwill that affects the behavior of all participating – so much so, that I have witnessed several long-term neighbor-to-neighbor misunderstandings melt within this infectious climate of kindness and fellowship.

HOSPITALITY GIFT BASKETS FOR NEW NEIGHBORS

While the greatest gift of all would be to cast a loving thought into the heart of a new neighbor, an additional idea is a gift basket to allow hospitality to enter with the spirit of a warm and genuine smile. A basket filled with information about the new neighborhood, along with an introduction to local restaurants, coffee shops, dry cleaners, and churches, and together with a chamber of commerce map of the area and coupons from local businesses can all be very useful. But don't neglect the creative inclusion of favorite delectable items, flowers, or plants from those individuals delivering the basket, for these can begin a conversation and help get to know a new neighbor and family.

If children are involved, this is also a wonderful opportunity for established neighbors to bring their children for introductions, which also becomes a teaching moment for the giver and receiver of the wonders of hospitality within the neighborhood. Yet don't leave it there: A follow-up visit would show that your hospitable intentions are genuine.

SOME OTHER IDEAS

Other ideas might include:

• Block parties, which could grow into full neighborhood-wide parties
• Cooking a shared meal together with different friends, neighbors, and invited guests
• A potluck meal with friends to support a favorite local charity, shelter, or halfway house
• An open house for the holidays, serving a meal to whomever walks in the door – this was a huge success in my experience for 21 years on New Year's Day, as part of a French Toast Celebration while watching the Rose Bowl Parade.

Be creative, and explore new ways to share your hospitality and your love within your community, overcoming any latent fears that would impede your moving forward.

 

SOME LESSONS FOR COMMUNITY BUILDERS

• To build a culture of hospitality within the communities we serve, our first imperative is to address our own spiritual centeredness, and to develop a starting point of peace.
• Next, we must effectively identify a community's needs, by recognizing the new drivers of change: consciousness-building, education, environment, socioeconomic conditions, and technology.
• Then we need to unlock innovative approaches to serve basic human needs hospitably, based upon being valued, interconnectedness, safety, staying in wonderment, and having fun along the way (don't take yourself too seriously).
• While engaged in this process, community builders should ask: “Does this innovation address a basic need in a new and creative way?” “What new expectations will be created?” “What impact will it have on the community?” “How will it influence the community's residents, visitors, and tourists?” “Will there be any ramifications from the proposed change(s)?” And “How will hospitality's qualities continue to be the motivating force for residents and visitors alike?”
• Finally, we must keep the momentum going, by continuing to inspire hospitable behavior. To do so, we should:
  
  • Light each other's enthusiasm, and ability to launch their own innovative ideas.
  • Create a shared platform for innovation through collaboration – for the work is faster, more effective, and definitely more enjoyable when done together.
  • Empower each other as valued and trusted colleagues and innovators. We shouldn’t fear experimentation through blending ideas; our vulnerabilities can be a source of courage for change.
  • Disrupt routines to keep our work fresh, without interfering with incremental changes for the community: Be spontaneous!
  • Recognize that each participant can make an invaluable difference.

If we can apply these principles in practice, that will surely bring us closer to the hospitable community we all desire.

 

CHALLENGES, ISSUES, AND QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

We have reviewed hospitality from individual and collective standpoints – frequently looking inward, for hospitality is an inner journey of self-realization, revealing beautiful spiritual characteristics that reside within each one of us.

However, there will be many challenges to our authenticity in being hospitable. One of the most common is disagreement with another, which tends to show up through competitive and comparative evaluations made by the ego. Until we learn how to build or re-build a strong inner core of spiritual qualities that are not at odds with each other, patient listening will be required.

In essence, we need to unlearn the false societal educational messages that bind us to childhood beliefs and generational traumas, instead of our evolving to a higher state of conscious hospitable behavior. We seek a conscious coming together in unity (comm-unity) where we feel safe, because we know our neighbors' attitude matches our own – with a strong bond of reciprocity – leading to a sense of trustworthiness, caring, and well-being. This is as contrasted with a false sense of safety that is devoid of the aforementioned spiritual assets.

Take a moment to consider this example: How it would be for you to receive hospitality, from the perspective of an immigrant refugee family that had just arrived in town? Respond to their plight as if it were your own; let compassion well up within you as you feel their sense of being displaced, knowing no one, having no compass point of reference, with little to no resources, experiencing homelessness, with pangs of hunger evident through pain-stricken faces with tattered clothes barely hanging from exhausted bodies worn down by devastating life-experiences, sitting on a curb looking like deer stunned in the headlights of complete uncertainty.

Do you look the other way or just not see? Or does the cry of the tear-stained face of a child break your heart enough to grab your attention? Are you prepared to offer some semblance of comfort? – a cup of clean water, a caring conversation, a list of resources available for temporary aid, expressions of hope for a better life, or an acknowledgement that their arrival is a wonderful asset for the community?

Now imagine, instead of a single family, that your community is presented with an entire community of immigrants in need of a fresh start. What would this scale of integration look like, as it presents challenges and issues much broader than most communities have ever considered? Here is where the rubber meets the road. In today’s climate of large-scale immigration, this is an important topic for consideration. How can your spiritual asset of hospitality help inform the attitudes and policies of individuals, communities, and whole nations?

Does the statement of Michal Vasecka, the university sociologist, ring truer now? “We are deeply uninclusive societies. Migration reveals this unpleasant truth about ourselves.” But have we now learned enough about hospitality to be its personal spiritual embodiment and to remove this unhealthy barrier to ourselves and others? Are we open-hearted, willing to listen, and able to welcome newcomers inclusively and warmly, as we steadily plow through the challenges that face both sides, but which when addressed are sure to enliven, enrich, and enhance an integrated community?

Here we may remind ourselves of two fundamental characteristics of hospitality: (1) The core identity of every person is their spiritual nature; and (2) We are all interdependent. These are universal laws that may help us to “love our neighbor as ourselves,” and not to regard anyone as a foreigner, so that they may rather feel they fit into their new surroundings in a lovingly warm and profound way without judgment. This is the true essence and value of hospitality, a spiritual asset that has never been more needed.

Community work can also be a training ground where people can continue to work through their unresolved personal and behavioral issues, which may be nothing more than fear-based. These issues may range from inferiority to superiority, false humility to arrogance, shame to vanity, and others – just be forewarned and therefore, forearmed. For as purveyors of hospitality working through our own personal issues with the spiritual tools and assets we have been learning about within these pages, we may well be able to help others, and certainly should if that door is open to us.

The more that we challenge ourselves through daily practice to be hospitable in all situations, from engaging in friendly conversation in a grocery store line to understanding that there are no strangers, no foreigners, and no limits to how hospitality can be lovingly expressed, the more we will not have to think about it – for we will discover we are being it. That is an amazing point to be highlighted. If hospitality, and if spiritual qualities are effectively assimilated, there is no fatigue associated with them. In fact, just the opposite is true – one is exponentially energized. For hospitality is fully engaging and self-renewing.

 

OVERARCHING CONCLUSIONS

Now that we have shared our knowledge of the sacred art of hospitality, let us join together at the table of consciousness and reflect on how hospitality fills us with spiritual values that are consistently weaving the story of our lives, both individually and interdependently for our communities. Our great love for humanity, imbued with these well-defined spiritual values, can permeate the atmosphere through ambiance, service, cuisine, entertainment, and protection.

The art of hospitality is being at one with this system of spiritual values and their behavioral qualities. There is practical value in every step learned and practiced. Remember that a warm, smiling face reveals a joy-filled heart and is an attractive force inviting everyone to participate in community.

To effectively cultivate and develop the qualities of hospitality, it needs to become your daily practice. In this daily practice, this spiritual discipline, consciousness is prepared to meet the needs of your neighborhood, your chance encounters with strangers, visitors, and neighbors, and your ability to be of true service for your community as a hospitable presence. Walk the Way of Abraham, practice being the Good Samaritan, discipline your listening skills to hear the dimensionality, the states and stages of consciousness, in conversations and actions to effectively negotiate and navigate the best progressive forward movement for the community as a whole.

The ultimate secret is to know yourself as those spiritual qualities are being cultivated, and then to instill their moral influence into the fabric of our communities, while also deeply and fundamentally understanding all dimensions of the community to help keep its infrastructure strong, sustainable, and safe.

Beyond that, critical thinking is imperative to a healthy community. Continue to test and question your assumptions – to shake out the dead wood and allow healing processes to strengthen your resolve for your community and for yourself. Ask, “What does it take to build a progressively hospitable community?” “Am I living the values that support a progressively hospitable community?” And “Does my life exemplify my highest standards of hospitable behavior?”

A community infused with hospitality changes lives, in ways subtle and sublime. One should not be tricked into believing broadcasts of fear-based thinking, superstition, lack of confidence, limited resources, or falsified information that is meant to keep you imprisoned and frozen in a place of apathy – all this as contrasted with participating in the joy of richly giving that warm smile that melts hearts, sharing a meal that feeds the soul, or offering a heartfelt comment that remains a living presence of comfort, support, and safety.

It is your radical availability to be a hospitable influence within your community that will be a self-nourishing and self-sustaining blessing, with power to bless all those open to receive it.

 

Contributor
Linn Moffett

Editor
Bill Berkowitz

Linn Moffett's work on nonprofit boards, as a consultant, and as an educator, writer, and chaplain within seven county jails is well known. Linn is also founder of The Science of Being Institute, dedicated to bringing a spiritually scientific approach to the cultivation of spiritual consciousness.​

TOOL: SEVEN STEPS TO CULTIVATE SPIRITUAL CONSCIOUSNESS – A MEDITATIVE PRACTICE WITH HEALING IN ITS WINGS

This is an invitation to quietly and thoughtfully consider the following Seven Steps to Cultivate Spiritual Consciousness, in order to increase one’s appreciation of hospitality and to promote hospitable actions. These steps are written in a natural sequence, so as to clarify the process and to ignite your own passion.

Immerse yourself in these Seven Steps as often as needed, until they resonate within you as an inward melody. Use them throughout your daily practice of hospitable behavior. Allow fresh inspiration to continually lead you on, as you embark on this great quest to understand your individual nature through hospitality. If you will allow this meditative practice to empower you, it will bring you into greater awareness of present moments, and help you awaken to your own unique style of inner warmth that will radiate into consistently new and welcome expressions of hospitality.

If you are new to this form of quieting the chattering mind, there are four preliminary steps to help you prepare:

• Set aside a minimum of ten minutes at the start of your day.
• Move into a quiet space and restful bodily posture.
• Take a few deep breaths to assist in quieting the mind filled with its to-do lists and judgments – this will help to disengage from distractions.
• And now, with an open heart, begin to realize the fullness of your:
   

1. Desire. Be willing to leave behind all preconceived notions of what you think hospitality is. With the innocence of a child, remain open and receptive, listening for the inner guidance of inspiration. Allow new ideas to flow in and lead thought into a more conscious and expanded awareness of hospitality. To further open your heart with gratitude is to put a powerful two-edged sword into your hand – it receives the new information while simultaneously cutting through resistance and impositions that may appear and put intuition at risk through a conditioned or programmed mindset.
    
   If you stay true to this creative process, it will become second nature and overcome distractions. Avoid negative input, for it is chaotic, incoherent, and meant to confuse every heartfelt desire. Instead, ask yourself, “What am I giving my attention to?” And, if it is not to the original desire or intent, then change the channel.
    
2. Purity. Keep your heartfelt desire pure and focused, in order to know and recognize the true spirit of hospitality. You can silence the chatter of the ego by separating yourself from conflicting desires, the influence of others, or political agendas. Detach from the chaos of assumptions, emotional reactions, and opposing thoughts. Detach from the defenses of fear that would mentally creep in to defraud, destroy, corrupt, or manipulate your pure focus. Allow no mingling of negative concepts that would hinder the unfolding of hospitality.
    
   In other words, do not allow fear to make your decisions. As your new sense of hospitality expands, it will continually clarify and evolve with new inspiration and vision. But don't stop there!
    
3. Identification. Through purity of heart, consider the core spiritual values identified with this newfound clarity. Their innate stability, as defined through qualities found within authentic hospitality, is reflected in a soulful love for humanity, as exemplified in lines from Shakespeare's Sonnet 116:

Love is not love

Which alters when its alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken

These lines wonderfully illustrate how the absolute changelessness and constancy of Love – that from which hospitality is born – is able to restore one's soul. This has been the primary purpose of hospitality throughout the ages, even though diluted by financial concerns in today's markets. As spiritual consciousness is cultivated, intuition is strengthened and humility attained, its voice heard over the din of ego, selfishness, and emotional reactions to worldly events – the tempests of our times.

To maintain the harmonious stability that this tone represents, the remaining elements that create hospitality may be considered sub-tones of Love itself. These are the building blocks that can be investigated in more depth to intellectually grasp, intuitively hear, and emotionally feel the heart of hospitality while never forgetting its overarching nature. They are:

• Spiritual-mindedness, filled with gratitude and kindness
• Compassion and empathy
• Collateral comfort of safety and security
• Interdependence of all living beings
• Grace
• Integrity
• Generosity

4. Interpretation. As we begin to understand this seven-fold concept of hospitality, it will begin to operate effortlessly as consciousness for each unique circumstance we are involved in. Spiritual consciousness is an operating system that interprets and reinterprets the nature of hospitality, overturning false material concepts and their physical symbols until wholly governed in the beauty and sanctity of purity and freedom. It may take time before this final stage is realized; but that will depend solely upon the persistence of misinformation, misinterpretation, and missed opportunities to reconnect, revitalize, and renew the web of life within individuals, communities, and our world.
    
   So, an imperative question to self resounds: “Why wait?” Why continue to play unwitting host to misinterpretations, false information, willful deprivations, and theories based on superstition – all designed to keep humanity in fragmentation, separated by and trapped in fear? Instead, why not make each moment count toward that all-important state of consciousness, leading us out of hostile territory into communities of hospitality? Would we not willingly trade misinterpretations and false information for the unburdened joy that awaits and sets free imprisoned thought, if we only understood the system of goodness that already operates within, through, and around each one of us?
    
5. Method. The Seven Steps to Cultivate Spiritual Consciousness are a way of grace, and a method for understanding how spirituality operates, even beyond hospitality. It is alive and well and living within each individual. Actually, we are magnificently encoded with its message. As the door of conscious awareness continues to open, as some level of acknowledging the spiritual nature that makes up our authentic identity and reality is reached, we become awake to the connection between spiritual growth and service within the community. We become the spiritual activists we were meant to be, with hospitality written on the tablet of our hearts.
    
6. Form. At this juncture, a new spiritual question arises from the depths. What form will this idea of hospitality take? How will it appear? What will it look like? Spiritual consciousness is fundamental, as are the ideas springing from it. Their form is as unique and adaptable as required to meet every human need. It is important not to get attached to a limited, conceptual form nor to anticipate how an idea's form should be modeled, unless you are wholly inspired – then trust it.
    
   Too often, humanity wants to stay in a pattern of, “But, it has always been done like this, or looked like that, and worked in the past.” This attitude stifles spiritual growth. Temporary forms are just that, temporary. They can become uninspired and unable to touch the soul of mankind – and therefore obsolete. Hospitality requires the integrity of being heartfelt, alive with fresh ideas that trans-form every opportunity.
    
   It is important to note that not every opportunity will appear transformed at the outset. But again, trust the fact that every act of hospitable kindness is radical and dynamic. It does ripple throughout the whole fabric of consciousness, uncovering and overcoming errors and terrors, animus and hostility, seen or unseen.
    
7. Design of Love. We are woven into the very fabric of existence. This beautiful tapestry is all-inclusive and unites not only all individuals, but all periods and dimensions. It is patient and kind as it carries those along who think they are outside its frame of reference – but no one is or could be. Relish in the good of other's experiences rather than to allow or host the false stimulus of envy or hate.

   We should celebrate goodness wherever found, for the spirit of hospitality is most ardently felt when human relationships, familiar customs, and the belief systems of old are undergoing dramatic changes. Embrace these changes with gratitude and appreciation, since this is the path that Abraham walked and is a measure of our spiritual evolution – from mad ambition to intuition, from terrorism to tourism, from hostility to hospitality.

 

To cultivate spiritual consciousness in the art of hospitality, continued practice of the Seven Steps is the key. A cursory perusal of this teaching and learning tool will accomplish little. The Seven Steps are a meditative practice that requires the journey of persistence, of cherishing, of nurturing the idea of hospitality, in order to bring forward its gifts. Listening to your soul in fulfillment with newfound spiritual understanding will open all doors to the profound enhancement of our lives and of the communities where we live, work, and play.

“Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.” ~ Lao Tzu

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

Introduction

The Importance of Mindfulness in Community Building

The word “mindful” is frequently used in today’s popular culture. We say that we practice mindful meditation, or that we are mindful in our actions, or mindful of how we are perceived. But what exactly is being mindful, or practicing mindfulness? Why is it important for community builders? If we agree it’s important, how can we help build communities by using it? And how can we develop it for ourselves? These are some of the questions we will take up in this Tool Box section.

Mindfulness in a Nutshell

Basically, mindfulness means living in the moment. Instead of letting our judgments and assumptions clutter our words and actions, we respond in gentle, loving, compassionate ways. By so doing, we create better relationships – the building blocks of community.

In order to impact others and build strong communities, mindfulness must begin with us, as individuals. Mindfulness is expressed through our body, mind, spirit, and emotions. When we are mindful, we are more likely to be objective, nonattached, non-judgmental, non-defensive, and nonviolent in our interactions. Through this stance, we are better able to connect with others. And through those connections, difficulties are weathered and community is formed and strengthened. Trust among community members grows. All of these consequences are natural byproducts of living with mindfulness.

Mindfulness and Communities

Although mindfulness begins as an individual practice, when mindfulness is shared among group members, a community is more likely to thrive. Individuals become aware when their personal agendas and motives might not be in alignment with collective goals. With awareness, individuals are able to challenge their own beliefs to root out attachments, defenses, and judgments. The beliefs and ideas held by individuals then reflect those in the collective consciousness, meaning the shared beliefs and social norms of the group. These shared beliefs become the guiding force in making community decisions.

When groups operate from the collective consciousness, they are better able to identify conflicts more quickly. They can then acknowledge differences more easily, and take actions that are best for themselves.

There are many examples of mindful communities in action. Here are just a few:

• Mindfulness Community of Puget Sound in Seattle, Washington
• Community of Interbeing, an online community in the United Kingdom
• The Charlotte Community of Mindfulness in Charlotte, North Carolina

In these mindful communities, members experience strengthened relationships and a better understanding of the importance of interconnectedness, not only within their groups but in the larger community setting. For instance, the Mindfulness Community of Puget Sound is intentionally inclusive. Offering a variety of ways for the community to get involved, the community focuses on creating mindfulness within the individual, across the group, and on mindfully maintaining physical environments. As a different example, the Community of Interbeing is comprised of smaller independent communities that span the United Kingdom; it serves as a support umbrella for other communities of mindfulness.

In this Community Tool Box section, our aims are to define more closely what we mean by mindfulness and by community building; to identify key individual and group characteristics of mindful community building; to show how mindfulness can be effectively applied in community settings to improve community outcomes; and to suggest how it can be developed by individuals and communities alike.

We’ll be talking quite a bit about mindful community building as our discussion proceeds. So first, let’s identify some key goals of this community-building approach.

Goals of Mindful Community Building

Mindful community building has several implicit and interconnected goals:

• Identifying and setting goals collectively, by the entire group or an agreed-upon subset of the group. Common goals, based upon the mission and values of the organization, strengthen the community’s identity.
• Deepening relationships, which provide members with opportunities to know one another more fully. With these intimate connections, groups are more likely to communicate and work in unity toward their common goals.
• Working toward inclusiveness, which builds upon deepening relationships.

Mindful community building asks what segments of the populations are not represented and invites all community members to join. The mantra of mindful community building is “all are welcome.”

Some Benefits of Mindfulness

Mindfulness can yield a variety of benefits for the individual practitioner. By now, many of these are well known, so we will not review them in full detail here. But to summarize, in the area of physical health, mindfulness can help relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, and alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties. And in mental health, mindfulness can be an important element in treating issues such as depression, substance use, eating disorders, couple conflicts, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

But the benefits of mindfulness do not end there, for interpersonal and community benefits occur as well. One such benefit is that mindfulness provides us with a way to connect intimately and compassionately. Focused on the moment, we see and hear the other person. We are aware of their needs, values, and beliefs. And by engaging in mindful dialogue, we better understand the dynamics of the group. In the moment, we think critically in order to distinguish between the group’s agenda, our personal agenda, and the agendas of other group members. We notice those who lead by gentle example. Those leaders serve as models for the rest of community.

More than that: Through mindfulness we recognize the gifts and skills of all members and invite them to express those gifts. We encourage everyone to take leadership roles. In doing so, all become engaged leaders who have a stake in community. As mindful leaders, we are invested in recognizing varying personalities and lessening our defensive and judgmental reactions. As a result of our non-defensive, nonjudgmental stance, we strengthen interpersonal relationships and develop strong ties with others in the community and within the group itself.

The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of mindfulness are related. For when we are aware of any negative impacts our interactions may have on us – either mentally, physically, or emotionally – we can use mindfulness practices to reduce those negative effects. Mindfulness and meditative states in general can help us focus and concentrate by quieting the chattering mind. Our response flexibility increases, and we are better able to recognize our personal triggers and modify any reactions to responses. Less stress, more focus, improved attention, increased concentration, and an amplified ability to respond all strengthen our ability to communicate – and communication is arguably the most important skill when mindfully building community.

Through mindfulness we are able to identify the internal and external factors that prevent community from operating as a cohesive whole. Although addressing these issues may not be easy, mindfulness is a key component of critical thinking which is instrumental in bringing the group through any strife to resolution. Mindfulness is a key component is recognizing personal agendas and resolving not to allow these agendas to intervene with the group’s mission. Through mindfulness, a group can effectively collaborate and bring consensus in innovative, entrepreneurial ways.

Starting Where You Are: Sowing the Seeds of Community – A Story

The founding of Compassionate Louisville illustrates some of the principles of mindfulness applied to community life. In 2012, a year after Louisville, Kentucky, became a Compassionate City, a group of individuals representing many organizations spent several retreat days creating the mission, values, and vision of Compassionate Louisville. Each person was mindful of how they were living the mission and values, and shared these ideas during the session. Twelve values were eventually named. It was through mindful awareness that the group chose the values that best reflected the newly-formed community.

This group saw itself as seeding a community of greater mindfulness. Its vision statement imagined “a community and world becoming more and more compassionate.” As a collective and as individuals, members reaffirmed the mission “to champion and nurture the growth of compassion.” This articulation of Compassionate Louisville’s mission and values was made possible through strong facilitation of the group and committed leaders intent on bringing the vision of a more compassionate city to life. These leaders became the roots of an ever-growing tree of committed volunteers whose goal was for a more compassionate city to actually come about.

But mindfulness was integral to the process. Without mindfulness, the group would not have reached a level of understanding that encouraged both leadership and consensus.

Through the growing public awareness of this initiative, the group then encouraged other citizens to discover how they might answer the question, “How can compassion best operate in Louisville?” Mindfully building a city of compassion means not giving up when compassion appears to fall short. Conflict is not ignored but recognized, for through conflict comes the opportunity to grow compassionately. Within dynamic, flexible structures, resolutions are identified and initiated. These resolutions have the principles of the community at their foundations.

To this day, the Coordinating Circle of Compassionate Louisville continues to be an organic, dynamic, and evolving community whose key objective is to mindfully observe how compassion is manifesting in the City and to search for ways to facilitate compassion’s presence.

Begin at the Beginning: A Few Definitions

Open a dictionary, webpage, or phone app, and you will discover the meaning of a word. But as we all know, there are many nuances to words that cannot be found in a dictionary. Many nuances exist for the words “mindfulness” and “community building.” For our purposes, we will define the terms as below, then examine some of their nuances as well.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be described as a state of active, open attention to the present. It is living in awareness of each moment. Instead of letting your life pass by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

Some Nuances Found in the Lived Experience of Mindfulness

How many times have you driven from point A to point B and didn't remember how you got there? You might have been living in the moment, but perhaps you were not aware on a fully conscious level of your journey. Perhaps you were reviewing a list of tasks for the day, or ruminating over an event that occurred the day before. Your mind was filled with clutter. Although you might have been in the moment in one sense, you were not mindful. You were unable to sift through the distractions and be fully present to the world unfolding.

A mindfulness stance allows us to be aware of distractions, but to choose not to react to them. For example, in a community setting we may be aware of our personal agendas, but we do not allow them to interfere with the goals of a larger group. In fact, we actively listen to what others are saying in an effort to better understand the community’s goals and the beliefs and judgments of other community members. We may also ask ourselves how our beliefs and judgments are different from the community’s. Through this stance, we mindfully identify what is stopping us from fully engaging in the collective consciousness. And with this information, we prevent our judgments from negatively impacting the group’s process.

“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” -- Louis L'Amour

The same is true during mindful conversations with others. For example, if we are food shopping and meet an acquaintance, we may acknowledge that we are distracted from completing our grocery list, but we do not allow ourselves to be drawn away from the conversation. Instead, we attend to the conversation while keeping our grocery shopping in the background. Mindfully, we choose what is the most appropriate way to be in the moment. If we are on a time line, we may choose to compassionately end the conversation and complete our task.

Community Building

Community building is a field of practice directed toward the creation or enhancement of community relationships or outcomes. A community is defined as a social unit within a region or one created through common interest. The geographic and social boundaries are defined by its members.

An alternative definition adds to the picture: Community building is an ongoing process where the people affected by an issue come together to identify problems and take action to achieve solutions. A community builder challenges those he or she works with to change the way things are through collective action, empowering all.

Some Nuances Found in the Lived Experience of Community Building

At some point in a group’s history, the values, beliefs, and mores of a community are developed either by its members or a subset of the members. For the Compassionate Louisville community, a subset of the members articulated its vision, mission, and values. Due to the intentionality of that small group, even after many years its mission and values continue to represent the vision of the larger community rather than that of specific individuals or subsets of the group.

Mindful community building is flexible and aware of the skills and resources provided by all members; it encourages each person’s involvement in sustaining a community that flourishes through the individual and the collective practice of mindfulness.

Putting the Definitions Together

Characteristics of Mindful Community Building

Mindful community building happens through the committed action of individual “builders” working as a group to create a viable organization. A video by Margaret A. Wheatley identifies ten ways to intentionally maintain a strong, mindful foundation of community and to create healthy community change:

• People support what they create.
• People act responsibly when they care.
• Conversation is the way to bring cohesion.
• To change a stymied conversation, change who is in it.
• Expect leaders to come from anywhere.
• Focus on what is working to generate energy and creativity.
• The source of wisdom is internal.
• Everything is a failure in the middle.
• Humans can handle anything when in a community.
• Generosity, forgiveness, and love are the glue of community.

 

At the heart of each of these ways is the ability to think critically. The lack of any one of these factors could be a block to maintaining mindful community. Early identification and resolution of potential stumbling blocks minimizes the potential for them to become major obstacles to the health of the community.

Critical Thinking and Compassionate Policies: A Story

Mindful groups and mindful community builders willingly, if not easily, acknowledge where potential conflicts exist. Either the group as a whole or a subset works to identify the conflict and then create potential resolutions. The subset of the group transparently reports its findings and suggestions to the group.

In one case, a group of women who were military veterans created a support group. This group was open to all women who had served in the U.S. military. Over time, they discovered that some of the women carried deep emotional wounds. Their wounds sometimes came to the surface and triggered conflict among group members. The leaders wanted to create a stronger, inclusive community; but they were unsure how to mindfully address the needs of these women in ways that were compassionate and that also empowered them to continue to participate in the group.

With the help of an outside facilitator, guidelines for compassion within the group were defined and put into place. The myth of compassion as being “nice” in ways that potentially created co-dependent behavior was debunked. Two additional items were placed on the application to join, specifying the responsibilities of the member and the community. The group leaders also connected with mental health care providers willing to provide emergency assistance if necessary. In practice, both redefining compassionate actions and the creation of policies helped create a safe environment.

The same group of leaders attended a workshop to improve communication and conflict management skills. As both leaders and members became more adept in listening and responding with compassion, there were fewer escalations of conflict that stemmed from an individual member’s woundedness. Over time, the meetings became known as places of safety.

A valuable lesson from this story is that mindfulness within this group led to the naming of a conflict. The director realized that conflict could not be resolved within the group without external assistance. In addition, what was learned in mindful communication training was shared with the group at large. Modifications in communication styles were an important step in repairing group structure, and stimulated more mindful communication. Instead of focusing on individual conflicts, the group was able to focus on the collective whole. Building upon the values and mission of the organization, the group strengthened the safe and supportive environment for which the organization is now known.

The group incorporated several of Wheatley’s suggestions in resolving conflict. The group of women supported what they created through its evolution. They acted responsibly by hiring a trained facilitator and engaging in open, mindful conversation. The focus was on what was working and on sharing the wisdom of group members. Instead of ostracizing those that were viewed as disruptive, they created a paradigm of forgiveness and love.

Four Core Relationships in Mindful Community Building

Mindful community building is about relationships. To give us a foundation for our understanding and application, it will be helpful to learn more about four core relationships that empower and energize the building of mindful communities. These relationships are with:

• The Self. How we respond and react to the authentic and false parts of our self. This relationship is integral to all other relationships. It is through deep mindfulness practice that we know what is real and what is illusion. In this relationship, we ask our self how our thoughts, words, and actions reflect who we are. This is our authentic self. In contrast, the false parts of our self are based upon fears, and not truly reflective of who we are.
• The Sacred. What we hold in deep reverence.
• Others. Our partners, family members, co-workers, acquaintances, and strangers.
• Creation. All of the natural world and what humans have made.

Engaging mindfully in each of these relationships is necessary to both the holistic health of an individual and any communities the individual belongs to. When we are aware of when we are interacting from our true, best self as contrasted with actions derived from our false, illusory self, we can better address our individual needs and the needs of the group. A community and its members that are grounded in mindful relationships are better able to weather times of transition. Effective change agents are good relationship partners who respect, trust, and share honestly.

As community builders, it is worth our while to elaborate further on each of these four core relationships, and how they relate to community building.

Relationship with the Self

In order to understand personal motives and agendas, a mindfulness practice is important. Through self-awareness that comes from ongoing reflection and introspection, an individual recognizes the potential and real impact of one’s judgments and assumptions. Through deep reflection, both the shadow and authentic self are identified and owned. By living authentically, respect and love of self take hold. This is the foundation from which all relationships grow. Eventually, it enables you to follow the Golden Rule: to love your neighbor as yourself – and to love yourself as your neighbor.

The Self in Community

It has often been said that no man is an island; but knowing who you are is important to mindfully engaging others in community. Awareness of the reasons behind actions and personal triggers creates the power of choice. With awareness, you lessen the potential negative impact of personal biases and agendas on community. Befriending both the true and shadow parts creates an authentic relationship with the self. This is foundational to effective community membership. An authentic relationship with self fosters honesty and integrity-filled interactions with others.

Mindful Moment for Reflection

Remember a time when your beliefs and assumptions were not in alignment with those of a community’s collective consciousness. (If you are having difficulty, think about a time when you were angry about a group decision. Start with that feeling, and ask what judgments, assumptions, or beliefs were behind the anger.)

Did you share your point of view? If so, how? If we are not mindful of how our beliefs and agendas are not in alignment with those of the group, we can disrupt the group’s ability to stay in the moment and complete a project. Knowing our self prevents us from being an agent of disruption.

Relationship with the Sacred

The word “sacred” can mean many things. In this context, the sacred may be a connection to a deity, but it also refers to what one holds with great reverence. This relationship requires ongoing discernment and mindful identification of how the sacred is manifesting in an individual’s life. While certain beliefs, things, and concepts will always be sacred, the sacred in our life is dynamic and evolving. Relationship with the sacred is interwoven with and reflected in our relationships with self, others, and all creation; and it provides the underpinning for how we perceive and relate to the world.

The Sacred in Community

Seeing the sacred in another or having deep respect for them is key to community building. Through this relationship of reverence, members forge an atmosphere of safety and collaboration. Members are less likely to get stuck in judgments or defenses. Movement away from a “they vs. us” paradigm to an “us” reality occurs, and deep respect for individuals as well as the community as whole is fostered.

Mindful Moment for Reflection

Choose a community that you belong to. Identify aspects of the community that represent the sacred or what you deeply respect. How does your value of the sacred, inherent in that community, engage both your mindfulness and ability to help the community flourish?

Relationship with Others

While the easiest core relationship to identify, our relationships with others are undeniably the most difficult to remain mindful and objective about. Through mindful relationships, we manage agreements and resolve conflicts. We are also given opportunities to love unconditionally and be compassionate. Whether mindfully or not, how we view our relationships with others creates our personal view of reality and influences how we respond in the real world.

Others in Community

Individual relationships are the cornerstones of community. When engaged with mindful opportunities to create diverse, rich relationships, it becomes easier to name and bring understanding to differences. Mindful relationships with others create a safe space in which listening skills are developed and conflict is identified and resolved. Through these interactions, exploration and discovery of how beliefs and values are held in the collective consciousness occurs.

Our individual relationships have the power to bring us deeper into the collective consciousness. Unfortunately, they also have the power to segregate us into opposing groups. But through mindful community building, we harness the power of values held by the group while acknowledging and minimizing the power of competing individual agendas.

Mindful Moment for Reflection

If you can, call to mind a relationship or cluster of relationships that drew you into the collective consciousness of the group. How were these relationships beneficial to maintaining a mindful environment? What one thing was accomplished as a result of this relationship?

Next, recall a time when conflict occurred within the group. How did the role of relationship serve in resolving the conflict? Or, how were you able to use the collective values to overcome any personal agendas? Through this exercise, see if you can appreciate how mindful community building brings us deeper into the collective consciousness.

Relationship with Creation

All of our interactions are relational, even those that are not with other humans. These include our connections with all living things, plants and animals, natural objects, and everything created by humans. This combined group of relationships is often described as stewardship, and involves how we care for those things and sentient beings for which we are responsible.

Creation in Community

The use of material resources within the community falls under this category of relationship. Some of those relationships depend upon tangible physical structures and material resources – the bricks and mortar of community. On the other hand, how an individual’s values and vision interface with the mission, vision, and values of the organization reflects an intangible relationship with creation. So do the ways we mindfully share our skills and talents with the community.

Mindful Moment for Reflection

Reflect upon a time that you were part of a group that was creating something tangible (for example, a capital project, materials for a program, gifts for donors, or a large event). Were you in favor of the project or opposed to it? Using the first three core relationships (with self, the sacred, and others) how did they inform your relationship to this part of community building?

In any case, community building creates opportunities for mindful growth. Its success will depend upon how mindfully honest we are with our self and how skilled we are in engaging others and all of creation. We can all agree that being in relationship is not always easy; in fact, maintaining healthy, cohesive relationships is one of the most difficult challenges we face in life. The relational abilities of a mindful community builder not only create the foundation and build the framework, they are necessary in developing and sustaining relationship.

Keeping these four core relationships in mind, we’ll next build on this knowledge by examining some key personal qualities and attributes of the mindful community builder.

Key Qualities of the Mindful Community Builder

Mindful Listening

I’m Listening: What Did You Say?

First and perhaps foremost among the desired qualities for a mindful community builder is the ability to listen. Listening skills are integral to community building. Instead of assuming we understand what the other is saying, or listening with half an ear or irregularly, we listen with full attention. This way of listening, among other things, requires humility and vulnerability. We recognize that we don’t have all the answers – on the contrary, we are open to hearing the answers put forth by another.

With mindfulness practice, you can learn to listen to your internal monologue and external dialogue at the same time. The internal monologue includes your thoughts and how your body is reacting to both internal and external stimuli. Engaging in this bi-listening requires that all energy be focused on the present moment while tuning out any external or internal distractions. For example, planning the next day’s activities is impossible at the same time that we are intentionally gathering verbal and nonverbal cues from our dialogue partner, and also listening to our internal discourse. But when we listen intentionally using all of our senses, we are better able to respond in compassionate ways that both seek information and also share our own viewpoints. Let’s examine this essential quality of mindful listening in greater detail.

Listening with Our Entire Being

Listening with our entire being, or full-body listening, is a mindful practice in which we use all of our senses to discern what we are hearing. We may come to one conclusion by listening to the words, yet another by paying attention to our somatic reaction to what is being said. By listening with our entire being, we ground ourselves in the moment and are fully present to what is unfolding. By focusing our attention in real time to what is occurring, we can simultaneously hear words with our ears, see the physical reactions of the other, and also attend to our own gut reactions. This is a full-body way of understanding the other person, as well as discovering the energy behind the words that may trigger our own reactions.

Very often, asking the question, “What do you mean?” and mindfully listening with our entire being to the answer leads to greater clarity. We acknowledge that the words themselves may be neutral, but our reactions to them are not. By gaining this greater understanding, our behavior is less reactive and more responsive. It better allows us to prevent or dismantle the construction of barriers within the community. Through such full-body listening, we build bridges of understanding and inclusion, where all are welcome to participate.

Our Internal Monologue

Our listening is also impacted by our internal monologue. That ongoing monologue in our mind provides a running commentary about what happens around us. While it is based on our own reality, it may or may not reflect the communal reality. If we are unaware of the underlying judgments and assumptions within, it may impact what we hear another saying. And it may hinder the creative process.

But when we are aware of our internal monologue, we prevent an unconscious, negative impact. For example, we may have a visceral reaction to a comment, yet understand that our reaction has nothing to do with what the other is saying. Instead of being harsh or critical, we objectively hear the other and respond taking larger collective values into account, rather than responding simply from our judgments and beliefs.

When we are aware of those judgments, we can choose either to discount them or use them to formulate thought-provoking questions. Being mindfully aware of our internal monologue gives us the power to engage objectively. When we listen with all of our senses, we become objective observers. This is the gateway to entering the collective consciousness and to mindful engagement in community building.

Moment for Mindful Reflection

Ask yourself “How do each of the following affect my perceptions and judgments, and prevent me from communicating effectively and mindfully within my community?”

• My expectations and belie
• My perceived cognitive failures
• My past experiences
• My current perspectives

Through mindfulness, we don the cape of the objective observer and become more effective in community building.

The Power of Mindful Listening: A Story

Being an effective community builder depends upon our ability to maintain a mindful connection with our self and others in our community. At times in our life, we hear what we need, not what is actually said. And this hearing provides information we need to come to resolution.
Several years ago I had a conversation with a fellow conference participant. She shared with me a story about a powerful sermon given by a visiting pastor. His message changed her life. Several weeks later, she had the opportunity to thank him for his transformative words. After she finished thanking him, he gently took her hand, looked her in the eye, and replied, “That was not what I said.” 

She was in anguish when she found this out, for those words had provided solace to her. In this case, the words healed a part of her. But at other times, when we are not listening mindfully, we may hear words that trigger anger and angst. When we are not aware in the moment, our communication skills are impaired. We fail to hear effectively; our responses become inadequate.

After hearing her story, I wondered how many times I had heard things that had not been said, and how many stories I had related incorrectly. Like my fellow participant, sometimes the words I thought I had heard brought solace and even epiphanies. At other times, they created cracks in the foundation of relationship. Regardless of the intent behind the words uttered in those moments, they were heard in a state of unawareness.

The key lessons for us are again clear: Our ability to communicate effectively hinges on our ability to listen mindfully and to be in the moment. And building community effectively depends upon our ability to create and sustain moments of personal and collective mindfulness.

Mindful Communication

We’ve been emphasizing what is arguably the most important aspect of mindful communication – listening to one’s external dialogue, while also attending to one’s internal monologue. This is the foundation of communicating mindfully. But what else is necessary for effective, mindful dialogue? Three factors: gaining clarity, formulating a response, and responding compassionately.

After someone finishes speaking, the mindful listener enters into a moment of silence. During this time the listener sifts through the information received and any reactions to it. Clarity is gained during the silence. This calms any angst the interaction may have triggered and allows for formulation of a compassionate response. (Please note that this moment of silence is brief – usually no more than 15-30 seconds.)

Finally, the listener responds to what was heard. Keep in mind that during the response period, the respondent is also attending to how words and actions are being received. The listener speaks objectively and compassionately, being careful not to judge the other’s reactions or to defend their words.

In summary, mindful communication is a sharing between individuals who:

• Intentionally listen when the other person is speaking
• Gain clarity and formulate a response after the other is finished
• Respond compassionately
• Repeat this sequence as necessary

Humility

In mindful community building, there is no room for arrogance and discounting the abilities and suggestions of anyone. Instead, we humbly acknowledge our talents and offer them to the community in assertive but nonaggressive ways. Humility strengthens both individual and communal connections, while inviting all to share from their authentic core.

To expand upon this point, engaging in humility is an act of mindfulness. When we act with humility within a community, we are empowered not to place more or less importance on our ideas; rather, all ideas are of equal value. Within the collective consciousness ideas are gestated and birthed.

As you may see, humility is the gateway to the open mind and expanded heart of community. When members of the community are humble, they no longer just listen for what will prove their point, but rather to gain a greater understanding of what is best for the community. In this safe and reverent place:

• Conversation flows with full openness.
• The barriers to sharing are reduced.
• Members honestly want to share and listen to others.
• The focus is on the collective rather than the individual.

Leadership

All mindful communities have mindful leaders at their core. They lead by serving, but also by encouraging others to be leaders in community building. Building strong sustainable communities seldom occurs in a top-down fashion. Quite the contrary: Leadership is everybody’s business, and with guidance, every person can grow into a mindful leader of community. It is important to note that not all leaders provide a “face” for the community. Leaders include everyone who is actively engaged in living the mission, vision, and values of community.

Leadership’s Relationship to Humility

Mindful leadership is also connected to humility, the topic just mentioned. In particular, humility promotes servant leadership, a phrase coined by Robert G. Greenleaf. The Greenleaf Foundation describes a servant-leader as a “servant first. It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.”

A servant leader mindfully operates from a “servant heart” to successfully build better organizations collaboratively. Such a leader is able to set aside any personal agendas in order to help create a stable environment. Ongoing growth and evolution of the organization is encouraged. As a great listener, a servant leader listens with intent to understand the concerns of community members. The leader’s responses are then based upon the mission and values of the organization. Both listening and responding are interwoven with compassion.

In mindful servant leadership, differences are not ignored. Instead, through mindful communication, differences are identified, explored, and celebrated. Valuing these differences is, in fact, a hallmark of mindful community building. Divergent ideas and beliefs are necessary to the creative process, and the impetus for exploring innovative possibilities. In acknowledging differences, a servant leader – and the community itself – is humble and vulnerable. When communities open themselves to being vulnerable, they become more diverse and inclusive. Without individual egos taking control, all are welcome and empowered to identify ways to become a stronger, more mindful community.

Servant leadership, then, also brings out diversity, and as we will note later under a separate heading, diversity plays a fundamental role in our community. Inclusion of diversity brings about evolutionary leaps in community consciousness.

The following five-minute video is a mindful reflection on the many aspects of community diversity:

Moment for Mindful Reflection

After watching this video, ask yourself:

• When I am mindful of my community, what do I notice?
• When I am aware of myself, what information do I gather?
• What activities and other factors are preventing me and others from fully and mindfully engaging in community building?
• How do these awarenesses empower my community-building ability?

Discovering the roles of humility, vulnerability, and inclusion in community building requires mindful conversation both externally and internally. It is helpful to set aside five minutes during the day to listen to how your internal thoughts, beliefs, judgments, and assumptions form your reactions and responses to others.

Three Vows for the Mindful Community Builder

To supplement the discussion above, another approach to understanding the individual key qualities of mindfulness necessary to engage the process of building a mindful community has been expressed by the Buddhist scholar and practitioner Pema Chödrön. Writing in Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change, she shares an interpretation of three Buddhist vows. To paraphrase the vows: Cause no harm, alleviate suffering, and take life as it is.

These vows are integral to building and maintaining community. Chödrön believes that they can help us in “relating to the impermanent, ever-shifting nature of our life experience [and] as a way of using our everyday experience to wake up, perk up, lighten up, and be more loving and conscious of other beings” (Chödrön, p. ix).

When members of a group live with awareness of these three vows, both within the group and in interactions outside the group, respect for others grows. No longer are others defined as strangers or objects; we see others fully and clearly. We make choices based not upon our wants, but on the needs of the community. Using our experiences in these ways creates a more loving consciousness of other beings. This is the foundation of mindful community building.

Let’s describe each of these vows in more detail, and clarify their relationship to mindful community building.

Cause No Harm

Most community builders say their intent is to strengthen a community so that it thrives. One might wonder how, with this intent, anything that is said or done would cause harm. Yet, without mindful awareness, we may do just that. We may create policies and programs that unintentionally exclude. Programs and events may inadvertently be based upon biases. What is created in good faith may have undesirable ramifications that are far-reaching. Minute cracks in the foundation of community may form as members become alienated and disenfranchised. If unchecked, this situation may magnify. The community-building lesson here is to cause no harm by encouraging inclusion and transparency in all activities.

As an example, I was a part of a planning committee that created an anniversary event. Four weeks prior to the event, some members of the group became upset because certain organizations were included in a panel discussion instead of others. This provided a great opportunity to be mindful, as we committee members delved into our judgments and beliefs and noticed how they shaped our actions. We became aware of how we projected our beliefs and how our projections impacted others. Through mindfulness, we investigated how our judgments differed from those of the collective and worked toward a more effective solution.

Moment for Mindful Reflection

Reflect upon a group situation you were part of where full inclusion and transparency were lacking. How did this impact the functioning of your group? Were any corrective steps taken? How effective were they? What lessons do you draw from your experience?

With mindfulness, your awareness of your judgments and beliefs is used to build up and not break down. Most of all, living with the intent to “cause no harm” increases awareness of our potential to harm and of when we actually do harm. We then act upon the next vow, “to alleviate suffering,” which may have occurred through our unaware action.

Alleviate Suffering

Most programs, policies, and other communal activities are based upon the promotion of well-being, and ultimately upon the alleviation of suffering of the community and its members. Mindful community building aims to alleviate suffering; accordingly, it is a true act of compassion. Compassion is a key factor on the alleviation of suffering. A community with a strong foundation of mindfulness can better generate a compassionate response. Then, over time, suffering becomes more easily identified and reduced.

Many of the benefits of community building with compassion are measurable. When community building is accomplished with compassion, and with the intent to relieve suffering, trust increases among members and with external groups. Strengthened relationships open lines of communication. Members become able to acknowledge and address conflict as opportunities for growth. Communication thrives. And with compassion, we become better able to celebrate successes and weather the lean times.

Acting in ways that cause no harm and alleviate suffering leads us to implementation of the third vow, in which life can be taken as it is.

Taking Life As It Is

In the life of any community, threats may occur. To respond to threats, community leaders may make decisions based upon a previous reality, or do the first thing that seems best. Or, instead, they can use critical thinking and mindfulness to “take life as it is.”

When a group “takes life as it is,” mindful decisions are created through gathering all options and then weighing them. From simple brainstorming to project management skills, there exist a variety of ways to gather information, process, and plan. Also, when taking life as it is, the community is not complacent, but rather adopts a mindful, entrepreneurial stance. As entrepreneurs, individuals and the collective group are curious, courageous, and passionate. Using critical thinking, questions are asked and risks taken with optimism.      

Jean-Baptiste de la Salle, SJ, coined the phrase “taking a long, loving look at the real.” When looking at the real during decision-making, we must be gentle and loving in our analysis of any situation or event. We need to objectively analyze the situation for potential harm, while also looking for ways to minimize or alleviate suffering.

To be more specific, when building community we often have more projects that need doing than money to support them. Using the standard of “taking a long, loving look at the real,” combined with avoiding harm and minimizing suffering, empowers a community to choose which projects to continue and how to minimize any negative impact caused by the choice.

Information gathered from a long, loving look at the real can be used to effectively communicate reasons behind decisions. Taking such a look includes both transparency and compassion. Mindfulness helps us access necessary skills to balance needs with resources, while articulating the rationale behind the decision. Practicing this philosophy as leaders provides a teaching moment to all members of the group. This stance itself strengthens mindfulness in community. To illustrate this point, see the story just below.

Taking a Long, Loving Look at the Real: A Story of Community Support

Several years ago, community groups in Louisville, Kentucky, began to address the need to provide housing for approximately 360 military veterans who were homeless in the city. Named Rx: Housing Veterans, the resulting project was headed by the local Coalition for the Homeless and by Louisville Metro Government. More than 15 organizations within the community mindfully came together to create housing strategies.

Using combined government and private resources, the group developed plans that included not only providing housing for displaced veterans but also supplying other help, including securing employment, medical care, and help for addictions. The plan was to have the number of veterans experiencing homelessness at functionally zero by the end of the next year.

The mindfulness of this group of community leaders mirrored the mindfulness in the community. Differences were respected; doors were opened; conflicts were addressed. Through transparency, they created forums where groups not only helped design and implement the programs but were invited to question activities.

Instead of blaming or shaming the group that was experiencing homelessness, the group took a long, loving look at the current situation. They identified the factors that contributed to homelessness of veterans. The group clarified what other needs might be addressed. So, instead of creating a one-size-fits-all solution, a community of support was created to compassionately help veterans integrate in the community at large.

This example shows that mindful community building is mirrored in communication with a listening ear and a welcoming heart. Listening to one another and inviting everyone’s participation resulted in a non-hierarchical approach for formal and informal meetings alike. These mindful leaders created a structured and safe environment for interactions to flourish and connections to thrive. Within this environment, both individuals and the community as a whole could more easily work with a spirit of collaboration. Such collaboration brings us to a new place of understanding – the common ground.

To summarize, we have identified some of the most desired qualities for the mindful community builder. Community building requires setting aside individual and communal egos while sharing our wisdom and listening to the wisdom of others. As objective observers, we realize we may misinterpret the words and actions of another. With humility, we are vulnerable as we ask questions of clarification and provide our ideas and suggestions. And through humility and vulnerability, we discover the paths to common ground – the place where community is nurtured, and a topic we explore further under the next main heading.      

Our discussion so far has focused on desired qualities that are most closely associated with the community builder as an individual. But there are additional desired qualities that are more naturally connected with the group or community as a whole. We now consider these under the upcoming heading, “Key Group Factors.”

Key Group Factors in Mindful Community Building

COMMUNICATING CLEARLY AND OPENLY

No factor is more important in mindful community building than mindful communication. We have seen before how effective communication skills create and sustain individual relationships, but this is equally true for group and community relationships as well. Mindful communication is both clear and open. In addition, a community builder can utilize specific strategies and techniques for engaging in mindful communication on both individual and group levels. Some of these are:

• Contemplative Dialogue ©, which uses the approaches of mindfulness, non-defended learning, and nonviolence for participants to engage the collective consciousness with respect and with a willingness to work toward the common good.
• Active Listening, which provides 13 tips for listening in ways that lead to understanding.
• Non-violent Communication, which describes and offers resources on the four-part nonviolent communications process created by Marshall Rosenberg – honestly attending to observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

All these ways of communicating are based on being present in the moment and responding with compassion – two fundamental skills necessary for successfully and mindfully building both the microcosm and macrocosm of community. The microcosm includes the individual and relationships between members; the macrocosm reflects the collective consciousness and community as a whole.

HOLDING MINDFUL MEETINGS

Community building does not occur in silos – by individuals or segments of the group acting alone. In order to engage fully in mindful community building, effective meetings are necessary. These are designed to focus on the communal agenda and invite all participants to enter the collective consciousness.

In fostering mindfulness during meetings and planning sessions, it is helpful to begin with a focusing exercise, such as a moment of silence. A leader can also raise expectations of being an active participant through explaining concepts like mindfulness, collective consciousness, and common ground. Some other suggestions:

• Encourage understanding of others’ opinions and views. Ask questions for clarity.
• Agree to respect others for their points of view, while committing to work with one another for the common good.
• Recognize that the community-building goal is to create good outcomes incorporating the diversity of group members, not necessarily for all to be 100% in agreement. The goal is to reach consensus, rather than compromise.

INCORPORATING DIVERSITY

A rich diversity exists in almost all communities. Sometimes diversity appears in the way we look; at other times it is cultural or based upon our personal experience. Through awareness, we recognize the strength in diversity and how it can contribute to mindful community building.

Mindful community building recognizes the many ways diversity is present and acknowledges where it is not. Without awareness, the “elephant in the room” of differences cannot be addressed; the barriers preventing us from working together cannot be removed. Fearing others who are not “like us” and excluding others who are not of the same ethnic or cultural group is becoming a more common occurrence. With mindfulness, however, we can better see where we get stuck, and choose ways to minimize the possible negative impact of difference. Addressing both the differences and the commonalities creates safe space.

A mindful community, then, does not ignore differences related to diversity. At a welcoming table, no views are negated. All views are considered, for members are aware that all viewpoints potentially hold nuggets of truth and may be community building blocks. Diversity is recognized, acknowledged, and respected. Diversity is valued as an actual benefit for building transformational community structures.

While sharing different perspectives may not always strengthen community, it often helps us understand viewpoints we never understood before. More often than not, though, mindfully sharing differences of opinion and listening to them translates to finding common ground and then to innovative, creative community building.

Agreeing to listen and to respond assertively yet compassionately is the foundation of an open, honest, transparent environment. Seeking out and incorporating diversity sets us on the path to reaching consensus and attaining true community growth.

A Moment for Mindful Reflection

• Watch “Defining Diversity, Creating Community”. Then consider how diversity operates in a community you belong to. What are your answers to these questions?
  • How might diversity have contributed to creating a more robust community?
  • How might that diversity have impeded the community from working together?

  • What is the role of mindfulness in harnessing the positive power of diversity?
    
     

 

A key take-away from this video is that differences can be used as building blocks to create opportunities for inclusion and accessibility.

The Mindfulness of the Group

Recent studies support the power of the group in increasing our acceptance of diversity, and more specifically by reducing unconscious bias.

According to one leader in the field, David Rock, Director of the NeuroLeadership Institute, reducing such bias cannot be accomplished by an individual acting alone: “Any strategy that essentially relies on people to try not to be biased is doomed to fail.” But a group addressing the same task can be successful. “You’ve got to shift the focus from individuals trying not to be biased to teams being able to catch bias. There’s decades of research showing that format of strategy actually is the best format for behavior change and habit formation.” An interesting suggestion from this work is that groups themselves can be mindful, as well as individuals.

This analysis applies not only to community-based groups, but to business settings as well. In this connection, one newsworthy example and application was the employee training undertaken at the national coffee shop chain Starbucks, following a racial profiling incident at one of its stores.

FINDING COMMON GROUND

Another key aspect of mindful community building is our attempt to find common ground among group and community members. A mindful community is one that lives in common ground. This is not a place of homogenous thoughts and beliefs. Rather, in common ground, everyone is welcomed to share their ideas. In common ground, we have a mutuality of purpose and a focus on the power of the collective consciousness to bring about the common good. Common ground is entered and maintained through clear and open communication, mindful interactions, and welcoming diversity.

Sometimes finding common ground can be elusive, for two separate groups within a larger group may want the same outcome, yet may be unable to get past their separate agendas. Each believes it has the “best” way of accomplishing the goal. But entering the collective consciousness and attaining common ground requires being aware of any competing agendas and letting them go, in order to share perceived realities of both groups. This requires losing an “us versus them” mentality.

When we become a collective “we,” reaching consensus – the common ground – becomes more likely. Even if consensus is not reached, this way of working together strengthens the foundation of community.

Objectively Finding Common Ground: A Story

Two groups of individuals, who worked for the same company but in different divisions, had the common goal of ridding an area of invasive plants. They were tasked with working together to discover the best, most appropriate solution. One group wanted to use herbicides, while the other was vehemently against their use. But instead of each group holding firm on its “right” way to accomplish the desired outcome, both groups approached problem resolution mindfully. They agreed to be open to what the other group was saying.

The process used to resolve the problem was Contemplative Dialogue. In using this process, both sides intentionally named and discussed their beliefs and assumptions. Each made a commitment to listen to what the other side said and to ask questions in nonthreatening ways. All present also agreed to maintain an attitude of mindfulness and to return to mindfulness when gently reminded. Both groups, in addition, were mindful that they weren’t enemies; rather, both wanted the same outcome – a decrease in unwanted plant life. The best pathway to that outcome was the only difference.

One person in the group suggested using herbicides to eradicate the invasive plants; but after the initial application, the area would be seeded with hardy native plants, thus limiting the ability of the invasive plants to regrow. Neither group had independently thought of this solution. The consensus of the group was that this was the best plan of action. As a result, trust increased between the two diverse groups and within the community as a whole. Mindfulness here created the opportunity to reach consensus and gain common ground.

The next time a solution needed to be found, the groups came together not as adversaries but as cooperative members of the same organization. Trust and respect for different ideas had grown. Through mindfulness, all recognized they were all part of the same community, and came to act with the community’s general welfare in mind.

This approach to resolving differences can be applied in many other community settings, in particular to those where active conflict is present.

RESOLVING CONFLICTS

In searching for common ground, and in building strong communities, conflict may occur. This is also a natural part of community life. Our challenge in mindful community building is to resolve conflict amicably in order to strengthen community members, relationships, and the community itself.

Many of us avoid conflict when possible; yet conflict does not disappear when ignored. Often conflict is recognized, but there might not be sufficient energy or expertise to resolve it. What starts as low-level conflict, though, can become full-blown when not addressed mindfully. Conflict may seethe under the surface. Even participants who are only remotely connected to the original conflict may be affected by it. All this impacts the relationships of community members and the ability of the group to work effectively and to build community.

Mindful community building requires that we do not run from conflict. Rather, it encourages us to be aware of conflict, even when its level is low. Generally speaking, when a brewing conflict is acknowledged in its early stages, a quicker resolution can be found. Conflict makes most people uneasy; but when reverence is fostered in community relationships, identifying and discussing conflict, while still not easy, is not so scary. And with mindfulness, we can find common ground and resolve the conflict before it grows deep roots of resentment.

Using Mindfulness to Resolve Conflicts

But how, specifically, does one go about resolving a conflict within or between groups? Identifying the conflict, without assigning blame, is the first step to resolution. By doing so, the conflict is de-escalated and may not get to the point of angry feelings, or a standoff. After the conflict has been identified, and when attempting to find the best way to de-escalate a conflict, all members are asked to be objective and aware of how their judgments and assumptions impact the conflict. The group members seek to find common ground, while being respectful of everyone. Then, after a period of fact-finding and discernment, mindful solutions are proposed, chosen, and enacted.

Throughout this process, the group has at its heart a compassionate presence, and the best interests of all of its members. The group agrees that communication is always respectful – a major asset for any community, both in times of agreement and conflict.

Beyond these steps, we can employ additional conflict resolution skills. In addition to identifying the conflict through mindfulness, many specific techniques have been developed to resolve conflicts. Here are some of the main ones:

• Create a safe space where the conflict can be talked about.
• Recognize that different individuals may respond to the conflict actively engaged, passively, assertively, or aggressively.
• Agree on ground rules. These may include listening to others without interrupting, being mindful in responses, using “I” rather than “you” language, and not placing blame.
• Encourage individuals to acknowledge their fears (privately or publicly).
• Suggest that individuals share their stories regarding the conflict.
• Promote a standard of each party taking ownership in resolving the issue by accepting their role in the conflict, forgiving the others involved, and letting go of any grievances.

Using these techniques calls for open group dialogue. A trained facilitator can capture key understandings of the dialogue during brainstorming. In seeking common ground, the group discovers appropriate ways to let go of grievances and begin the process of reconciliation. The group decides upon the best course of action moving forward, while recognizing that it is easy to fall back into old patterns that recreate conflict. This can be challenging. Learning to respond mindfully and effectively to conflict is a lifelong practice.

One more point about conflict: Interpersonal conflict is a result of one or more people feeling threatened. It does not matter if the threat is real; the reaction is based upon perception. But while feeling threatened and experiencing conflict can trigger strong emotion, it can also provide opportunities for individual and communal growth. Awareness of this potential for growth is a benchmark of mindful community building.

This video on conflict resolution discusses how to identify and resolve conflict before it becomes unsurmountable:

 

Restorative Justice and Mindful Conflict Resolution

A particular application of mindfulness to resolving conflict involves what is known as restorative justice. In this procedure, which is most commonly used when a law is broken by a juvenile, perpetrator and victim meet together to decide on the most appropriate remedy.

An example: Two community members discovered windows broken in their homes. Rocks were lying on the floors inside their houses. Three boys had thrown the rocks. The two homeowners met with the three boys and their families to discuss what happened and what led to the boys throwing the rocks. This included the boys sharing parts of their lives that brought them to this point. The homeowners also shared how they felt about what the boys did.

What resolutions emerged from the meeting? One homeowner gave the boys the rocks they had thrown, with encouragement to use the rocks to engage in mindfulness – to remember what happens when you act out of anger and to realize that you can make different choices. The boys agreed to pay for the cost of replacing the windows of this person, and also agreed to help with yard work. The second homeowner asked only for an apology. He did give them a piece of advice: “Listen to the voice inside you when it tells you that something isn’t right. Trust in that voice; it will never steer you wrong.”

This type of meeting demonstrates both restorative justice and mindfulness in action. Through dialoguing, both the victims and the perpetrators became “real” to one another, rather than anonymous. Relationships were formed; traditional punishments were avoided; meaningful resolutions were agreed upon; and community ties were strengthened. (The story above is adapted from a Restorative Justice Louisville case.)

AVOIDING COMMUNITY-BUILDING FATIGUE

Although successful community building has great rewards, the very acts of creating and implementing can be exhausting. If a group is constantly resolving conflicts, making difficult decisions, or dealing with challenging group dynamics, over time group members may personally suffer from community-building fatigue.

This fatigue can be minimized through both collaboration and self-care. Maintaining strong communities depends upon the ability to collaborate and work together. Mindful community building also requires that individuals show care for themselves. Both these factors help ensure that individuals present their most authentic selves. When individuals are at their authentic best, communities have a better chance of mindfully building a sustainable infrastructure.

Community-building fatigue is a real thing. Alison Azaria, who writes for 2degrees, cautions that in order to avoid such fatigue, or to avoid reacting from stressors instead of responding with compassion, community builders should ensure:

• Clear understanding of what is required for each initiative. Offer simple requirements and state how they overlap with those of other projects.
• Excellent communication before, during, and after project completion. Inform collaborators about the progress of the initiative, including what is facilitating progress and preventing it.
• Avoidance of complicated requirements for collaboration. Be clear in instructions, with a means of clarifying misunderstandings before they become conflicts.

The key point here is that mindfulness can help prevent community-building fatigue. When community builders are trained in mindfulness, they become aware of the potential personal costs of their community work. They are then more likely to notice personal signs of depletion and take corrective actions before the full giving of their time, talent, and resources becomes impacted.

Now that we have examined some key attributes of the mindful community builder, together with some key group factors in mindful community building, we are ready to turn our attention to how to develop mindfulness. For once we have become more mindful ourselves, our own attitudes and actions will encourage others to act mindfully as well, even if we are not directly teaching them to do so.

To preview our own viewpoint: Developing mindfulness for the community builder, or for anybody, comes with practice. In more general terms, mindfulness is a skill, and as with any skill practice usually leads to better outcomes. As we have pointed out, one of the great attractions of mindfulness is that it can be practiced at any time and in any place – in every waking moment – but often, our mindfulness abilities are enhanced when we undertake a regular contemplative practice. We elaborate on this theme below.

Developing Mindfulness and Mindful Communities

THE ROLE OF MINDFUL LEADERSHIP

How does one develop mindfulness and mindful communities? A good beginning is to return to the key topic of leadership.

Mindful communities need leadership. The leaders of mindful communities provide guidance at all levels of engagement. In a mindful community, everyone has the capacity to lead. But in particular, a mindful leader focuses awareness on the present moment. In order to live in awareness, both leaders and community members may agree to develop a routine of both formal and informal mindfulness practice.

What these practices have in common is that they are contemplative – meaning that they focus our awareness on the present moment. According to a Harvard mindfulness help guide, the core of these practices involves “deliberately paying attention to thoughts and sensations without judgment.” In general, these practices also bring all aspects of our being (body, mind, spirit, and emotions) into greater alignment.

But what does this mean, specifically?

CONTEMPLATIVE PRACTICE: SOME EXAMPLES

Some examples of contemplative practices include:

• Sedentary practices, including sitting meditation, grounding, and centering
• Active practices, including tai chi, yoga, and walking. A contemplative walking practice might involve walking on a fixed path such as a labyrinth, or ordinary walking outdoors.
• Practices connected with activities of daily life, such as mindful eating and exercise
• Creative practices, including painting, drawing, journaling, writing poetry, and creating music
• Combined practices, incorporating several of these elements

Any of these practices can be either formal or informal. Formal practices are typically more structured, and typically occur at designated times of the day or week. A formal practice can anchor us into awareness, creating a framework for us to live in increased mindfulness. Informal contemplative practices, on the other hand, generally take place in brief periods of time, often five minutes or less, and can occur simply by pausing – we stop whatever we are doing and turn our attention within. This may happen whenever we feel unsettled, or at any time we feel the impulse to do so. We may notice our breath, count our footfalls, take a short walk, or explore the roots of a thought to discover what might be triggering internal or external conflict.

All of these practices, and others not listed here, are contemplative, and meditative, in that they focus attention on the present moment. All of them increase mindfulness, in that practitioners develop a heightened awareness of everything they do. All of them yield personal benefits, such as reduced stress, increased mental and physical agility, and increased ability to concentrate on the present. And all of them yield community-building benefits as well – for the mindfulness inherent in contemplative practices allows practitioners to become more aware of their own interactions with community members, to observe when a group is interacting productively, and to notice when conflict might be beginning to bubble up.

Developing mindfulness can also come about through collective mindfulness activities such as retreats. As an example, a recent conference at the Asheville Campus of the University of North Carolina focused on creating a mindful, more resilient campus. The event explored “ways that contemplative practices can be used to cultivate and support resilience – for when resilience is fostered, community fatigue diminishes.”

While the above list of practices is not exhaustive, each is an example of how we can increase our awareness in the moment. We are better able to identify the limits of our endurance and when we need to rest, thus increasing our abilities to mindfully interact. Spending time in silence by engaging in mindfulness practices also increases our mental acuity. Recognizing and attending to our emotions gives us the ability to allow them to dissipate instead of exploding.

What’s the direct connection between contemplative practices and community building? Each of these practices, formal or informal, helps us become more attentive to our thoughts, feelings, and actions in the moment. We can then better see how our motives and agendas are in alignment with the community collective, or how they might differ and have the potential to cause conflict. With this understanding, we can become better able to work with others in community.

In general, then, the intent of all these contemplative practices is to notice how our life is being hindered by distractions. When we are unaware, we may unconsciously sabotage a group project. Mindfulness is a means to realign our actions and our intent with that of the group. This may be a humbling experience, as we notice how often we are pulled away from the moment into our own agendas. Through mindfulness practice, we gain the power to respond based upon who we are, not upon what triggers motivate our reactions.

LEARNING AND APPLYING MINDFULNESS PRACTICE

Learning

Mindfulness is a lifelong practice, one that can take place anytime and anywhere. It is a skill that can be developed gradually throughout one’s life. We don’t suddenly wake up one morning being aware in every moment. We may go for days able to be mostly in the present moment and then be totally distracted by some person or event. When this occurs, we do not become discouraged; rather, we use formal and informal practices to discover what is distracting us and preventing us from entering into awareness and into community. We use this understanding to let go of the distraction and return to the moment.

The good news is that mindfulness is a skill anyone can develop. Even though we can take classes to learn certain practices, the key to becoming more mindful is our relationship with self and our ability to understand our self. Mindfulness requires that we know ourselves and our distractions (or what draws us into and away from the moment). Through self-awareness, we discover what secures our attention in the moment and what pushes us into another space. And each of us, regardless of background or experience, is capable of this.

The development of mindfulness, though, has to be tailored to each individual, for there is no one-size-fits-all formula for being mindful. A contemplative practice routine that works for one person may not work as well for another. We must be willing to shift how we access and maintain a state of mindfulness as needed. Our path to mindfulness is as unique as we are.

Applying

When we care for ourselves using contemplative practices, we are better able to interact with others in compassionate ways. This naturally strengthens the collective consciousness. The communal practice of mindfulness also strengthens relationships. And from these relationships, more intentional listening and compassionate response may occur.

Through this way of communicating, social activities are also created that encourage members to know one another. There is a development of deeper and closer interactions and an understanding and celebration of diversity. With an increase in trust and understanding, group members move beyond acting as individuals and enter the collective consciousness, the source of intentional community building.

The above activities, and others, empower our spirit and the spirit of community. They are part of our self-care, giving us respite from the constant stimulation of life. These mindfulness activities recharge us. Rested, we are more alert and ready to respond with an open mind and an expanded heart. In developing mindfulness, and in building communities, care for all aspects of our being – body, mind, spirit, and emotion – is fundamental.

Mindfulness Training in Schools

Mindfulness is being recognized as a core life skill in many school districts. Mindfulness training has been incorporated into those school settings across a broad age range, beginning as early as first grade. Such training provides instruction in contemplative practices not only to individuals, but also to larger groups.

A comprehensive resource in this area is Mindful Schools, which contains extensive instructional materials, including teaching modules, exercises, and several videos illustrating mindfulness training with children of different ages. There are fewer examples of mindfulness training for community groups as such, but this should be a fruitful area for further study and application.

Challenges to Mindful Community Building

Most community members truly want a community to thrive and its endeavors to succeed. But during any stage of community building, members may feel a lack of cohesion or unity. A previously-vital group may lose energy and begin to stagnate. Or a group may experience an event that derails the community effort, and struggle to return to its foundation. These are examples of challenges to community building. Although there are many such challenges, we will briefly focus here on five of them, and on how each one can be met.

• Lack of strong and effective leadership. As the needs of the community shift, there may be a misalignment between the skills of the current leadership and the skills necessary to move the community into the next phase. To meet this challenge, community members must be willing to serve as leaders when needed, first by using the skills they do have, and then by finding ways to acquire the needed skills that are currently missing.
• Dominant personalities. A great many groups have individuals who are quick to share ideas and then campaign for them. They tend to be better talkers than listeners, and they may seek to take an undue amount of control. To meet this challenge, it will help to teach mindful communication and objective observer skills to everyone, as well as to review communication expectations prior to any meetings.
• Little or no clarity about the values and goals of the community. Without clearly-established community values and goals, and planned movement toward those goals, a community risks stagnating, drifting, or moving in an unhelpful direction. To meet this challenge, set regular times, at regular intervals, for the community to reaffirm or modify its values, to assess progress toward goals, and to make corrections as may be necessary.
• Lack of clear conflict resolution processes. Very few people feel comfortable addressing conflict. As we have noted, it is often ignored until it explodes, shattering the cohesion of the group. To meet this challenge, learn about processes to resolve conflicts and invest in the conflict resolution education of community members. Encourage members to identify and name conflict in the beginning stages and to use their skills to resolve it at that time.
• Lack of inclusion and diversity. When everyone in the community is the same, the potential for stagnation is high. The community doesn't have the diversity of life experiences to move past other challenges or conflicts. To meet this challenge, actively recruit community members who have different points of view, come from various ethnic groups, are of different generations, or represent diversity in another way. The key is to find individuals who share the group’s core values and goals while also having a different perspective on how to put them into practice.

It may be that these challenges are not those your community is dealing with now, or that it is dealing with challenges not mentioned here. At some point, though, all communities do face community-building challenges of one kind or another. They are not necessarily a reflection of bad leadership, poor communication skills, or any other deficiency. Rather, challenges are inherent in community work, the natural growing pains each community goes through. To meet these challenges, mindfulness and mindful community building both play essential roles.

Conclusions

As our section draws to a close, let’s summarize some of the key points we have made:

As community workers, we want to strengthen community life, in order to produce better outcomes for everyone. Strong community life depends upon relationships, which are the building blocks of any community. So we seek strategies for creating and strengthening relationships. A primary way to do this is through mindfulness.

When relationships are strong, and when community members are engaged in mindful community interaction, members are less likely to blame others; instead, the tendency is to look for solutions and ways to improve individuals, relationships, and the community as a whole. If conflict occurs, the objective becomes one of developing stronger community members within the flexible, dynamic structure of community.

Through mindfulness, we gain a greater awareness of the ways people share their gifts and show gratitude for their resources. Mindfulness creates an environment of gratitude and optimism – one where together, within the collective consciousness, members discover ways to turn possibility into reality. Each member understands the importance of sharing their skills, while at the same time working toward consensus.

It’s important to realize, though, that community building, and mindful community building, is not easy. Conflicts occur, and damage to the group’s operation, even to its mission and values, can be a genuine threat. But conflicts need not be seen as failures of the community; rather, any challenge may be an opportunity for realignment of the community’s purpose and mission. Through effective communication, transparency, and inclusion, conflicts can be acknowledged and addressed. And when any challenge is met, the community grows.

Celebrating what goes well and weathering the tough times is all part of community life. When community members are mindfully invested, the negative impact of the tough times is more likely to be minimal. Living in community is not easy; but, with focused effort, and continued practice, the rewards from developing engaged, mindful communities are immeasurable.

We wish you great success in applying mindfulness to your own community-building work.

 

Contributor

Vanessa Hurst

Editor

Bill Berkowitz

Vanessa F. Hurst is a community builder who collaborates with organizations to deepen connections with current constituents and welcome new community members. She consults with organizations to identify and grow their compassion cultures. Vanessa is the author of Engaging Compassion through Intent and Action and A Constellation of Connections: Contemplative Relationships. As a mindful coach and Neural Synchrony™ facilitator, she guides individuals in discovering the most viable path of transformation. For more information, see www.intentandaction.com.