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This is personal but I recognize it as something definite. In most problems it so vague. I want to learn about other cultures, and this even sounds so culturally insensitive. It is probably. Please don't think I'm joking. Anytime I try to get to know Slavic, German, Russian, people, guys especially, I get so attracted to them. It's irrational typically or gets set off by hearing them speak sometimes. I feel like a jerk but I don't want to be like this. I want to have a respectful conversation without being... distracted. I apologize. Do you suggest I find where these attractions originated? I loved this guy in 7th grade(1999), a Russian dancer. In 3rd grade I fake married a Lebanese boy. Sorry, this is getting long. I was making friends with this German guy and it was good... then it took over. My brain scrambles when I talk to him. You don't have to answer but please please if you could direct me to somewhere that would help and take it seriously. I've been trying to figure out why I'm like this. But it started so long ago... Also, maybe I secretly should be Russian or whatever. Who knows? I'm open to anything you think could even possibly help. Thin chance or not. I hate this feeling. And having to keep it somewhat secret. Yugoslavians. Russians. Slavic languages. Stupid ugly dumb jerk Russians sometimes even. What's wrong with me? Even helping me with a way I should ask this question I can't even think about it anymore.

Hi Katherine,
Your question is very complicated and one for which CTB has no answer.  We encourage you to contact a mental health counselor or therapist for assistance in coming to understand the reactions you describe.

Question Date: Sat, 08/12/2017