Section 9. Gratitude and Appreciation

 

 

This and other sections in the Tool Box chapter on Spirituality and Community Building (Chapter 28) have been written with the support and contributions of experts connected with the Charter for Compassion. For more information about the Charter and its work, visit www.charterforcompassion.org.

Introduction

Gratitude and Appreciation in Community Building

Gratitude and appreciation can contribute to community life by helping people recognize one another's efforts, relationships, knowledge, and contributions.

In everyday community work, appreciation may be expressed through a thank-you message, acknowledgment of someone's contribution, recognition of progress, celebration of a shared accomplishment, or simply taking time to notice what people value about a community.

Gratitude may be understood spiritually, culturally, ethically, psychologically, or simply as an ordinary human response to something a person values.

No particular understanding of gratitude is required for effective community building.

Gratitude and appreciation can support relationships, but they should not be treated as substitutes for fair compensation, adequate resources, accountability, meaningful participation, or attention to problems that need to be addressed.

Nor should people be expected to feel or express gratitude in order to participate in a program, receive assistance, maintain a relationship, or have their concerns taken seriously.

In this section, we will consider:

• What gratitude and appreciation mean
• How they may support community relationships
• Ways to express appreciation respectfully
• How organizations can recognize contributions
• How gratitude practices can be offered without pressure
• Cultural, ethical, and organizational considerations
• Situations in which gratitude should not replace accountability or action

Defining Gratitude and Appreciation

The words gratitude and appreciation are often used interchangeably.

For purposes of this section, a useful working distinction is:

Gratitude refers to recognizing or feeling thankful for something a person values.

Appreciation refers to recognizing the value, contribution, qualities, or significance of a person, action, relationship, resource, or experience.

Appreciation may remain private or be expressed through words or actions.

These definitions are not universal. Different people and traditions may understand the terms differently.

Appreciation can focus on:

• A specific contribution
• Effort or persistence
• Expertise
• Leadership
• Care or support
• Creativity
• Community knowledge
• Participation
• A shared accomplishment

Appreciation should be specific enough to be meaningful and should reflect something the person or group actually did or contributed.

It should not be used strategically to manipulate people into working harder, agreeing with leadership, volunteering additional time, or overlooking problems.

Why Gratitude and Appreciation May Matter in Community Building

Community work depends heavily on relationships.

Taking time to recognize people's contributions may help communicate that their efforts have been noticed and valued.

Appreciation may support:

• Relationship-building
• Volunteer and staff recognition
• A sense of belonging
• Awareness of community strengths
• Reflection on progress
• Celebration of shared accomplishments
• Recognition of work that may otherwise remain invisible

These effects are possible rather than automatic.

A thank-you message cannot compensate for inadequate pay, excessive workloads, discriminatory treatment, lack of accessibility, poor leadership, or unsafe conditions.

In workplaces and organizations, recognition is most meaningful when it exists alongside fair employment practices, appropriate compensation, clear communication, reasonable workloads, and opportunities for participation.

Keep in mind: Appreciation can strengthen a healthy organization, but it should not be used to make an unhealthy organization feel more positive without addressing the conditions causing problems.

Appreciation and Volunteers

Volunteers often contribute substantial time, knowledge, labor, relationships, and expertise to community organizations.

Recognition can help communicate that these contributions matter.

At the same time, organizations should not rely on appreciation as a reason to continually ask volunteers for more unpaid work.

Sustainable volunteer programs should consider:

• Reasonable expectations
• Role clarity
• Training
• Accessibility
• Reimbursement when appropriate
• Opportunities to decline additional responsibilities
• Recognition that does not depend on overwork

Appreciation and Community Participation

People are more likely to participate meaningfully when they believe their knowledge and contributions matter.

Appreciation can support participation when community members are treated as partners rather than simply as recipients of programs.

Community builders should:

• Listen to residents' ideas
• Recognize lived experience as a form of expertise
• Explain how community input influenced decisions
• Give credit for ideas and work
• Share leadership where appropriate
• Compensate substantial community expertise when possible

Appreciation should accompany meaningful influence.

Thanking residents for participating in a meeting means less if decisions have already been made and their input cannot affect the outcome.

A Community Program Example

One contributor describes beginning work in an Indigenous community in northern British Columbia without established local relationships.

Community leaders explained why a proposed learning center mattered, while the details of how the program should operate continued to develop through relationships with residents.

Community members gradually began visiting the center and helping shape what it could become.

A useful lesson from the story is not that gratitude itself created participation. Rather, the program began to build momentum through attention to the space, openness to community members, relationship-building, listening, and responsiveness.

When working in an Indigenous community – or any community in which an organization is an outsider – the people who live there should help define the goals, design the program, and determine what successful participation looks like.

Where possible, identify the specific Indigenous Nation or community rather than treating Indigenous communities as interchangeable.

Situations in Which Appreciation May Be Useful

Appreciation can be expressed in many ordinary situations.

Examples include:

• Thanking people who contributed time or expertise
• Recognizing volunteer or staff accomplishments
• Celebrating completion of a community project
• Acknowledging mentorship or guidance
• Recognizing community organizations that contributed resources
• Appreciating people who performed less visible work
• Recognizing relationships developed through a project
• Reflecting on what a group learned during a difficult period

Gratitude can also be spiritual or religious for people who understand it that way.

For example, some people may give thanks to God, a Creator, ancestors, the earth, or another source of meaning.

Others may understand gratitude without a religious or spiritual framework.

Community settings should make room for these differences.

How to Use Gratitude and Appreciation in Community Building

Begin with Welcome and Listening

When people enter a program, meeting, organization, or community process, welcome them and explain how they can participate.

Ask what knowledge, interests, and experiences they bring.

Listen to what they identify as useful rather than assuming that your program already has the right approach.

Make participation accessible through appropriate:

• Physical access
• Language access
• Transportation
• Childcare
• Technology
• Scheduling
• Communication formats

Recognize Contributions Specifically

Appreciation is often more meaningful when it identifies what a person contributed.

Rather than saying only, “Great job,” consider:

“Thank you for organizing the transportation schedule. It made it possible for several residents to participate who otherwise could not have attended.”

Or:

“Your questions helped us identify an accessibility problem we had missed.”

Specific recognition helps people understand why their contribution mattered.

Ask How People Prefer to Be Recognized

Not everyone enjoys public recognition.

Some people appreciate being thanked during a meeting or community event. Others prefer a private message, handwritten note, email, or no formal recognition at all.

When possible, ask people what they prefer.

Preferences can be influenced by personality, culture, disability, professional role, privacy concerns, organizational norms, or many other factors.

Do not assume a person's preference solely from their race, ethnicity, nationality, age, religion, or other identity.

Use Images and Stories with Consent

Photographs, videos, stories, and social media posts can be useful for recognizing community work.

Before sharing them:

• Obtain meaningful consent
• Explain where the material will appear
• Respect requests for privacy
• Avoid revealing sensitive information
• Do not assume permission given for one use applies to all future uses

People should be able to participate fully in a program without agreeing to appear in promotional materials.

Recognize Less Visible Work

Some contributions receive attention more easily than others.

Public speakers and leaders may be highly visible while people responsible for transportation, translation, childcare, setup, food preparation, administration, data entry, cleanup, relationship-building, or informal support receive less recognition.

Consider whose labor may be overlooked.

Recognize Groups as Well as Individuals

When an accomplishment results from shared work, recognition should reflect that.

Excessive focus on one highly visible leader can obscure the contributions of staff, volunteers, residents, partner organizations, and others.

Ask who contributed and how.

Celebrate Accomplishments

Community groups may celebrate milestones through:

• Shared meals
• Community events
• Letters or messages of appreciation
• Certificates
• Art or storytelling
• Public acknowledgment
• Informal gatherings

Celebration should be accessible and appropriate to the people involved.

Recognition also does not always require spending money. Sometimes a specific personal acknowledgment is more meaningful than a gift or award.

Evaluate Alongside Appreciation

Appreciating what went well should not prevent a group from asking what did not work.

After a project or activity, consider asking:

• What worked well?
• What did participants value?
• What problems occurred?
• Who benefited?
• Who may have been excluded?
• What should change next time?

Appreciative Inquiry can be one useful approach, but it should not prevent people from naming harm, failure, dissatisfaction, or unmet needs.

When You Are New to a Community

Community workers sometimes enter communities where they have few existing relationships.

Begin with humility and learning rather than assuming that appreciation or goodwill alone will create trust.

Useful steps include:

• Learn the community's history
• Identify formal and informal leaders
• Ask residents what work is already underway
• Learn which organizations are already trusted
• Ask what residents see as strengths and priorities
• Be transparent about your role and resources
• Avoid promising outcomes you cannot deliver
• Support existing community leadership rather than unnecessarily creating parallel structures

Appreciation can be part of this process, but trust develops through consistent behavior over time.

Gratitude During Crisis or Hardship

Gratitude practices require special care during crises, grief, violence, discrimination, disaster, serious illness, displacement, or other difficult circumstances.

Some people may find reflection on supportive relationships or meaningful experiences helpful.

Others may find gratitude exercises invalidating, intrusive, or inappropriate at that moment.

Do not require people facing a crisis to state what they are grateful for.

Avoid implying that gratitude should replace:

• Grief
• Anger
• Safety planning
• Emergency assistance
• Accountability
• Advocacy
• Professional support

A more appropriate invitation might be:

“Would it be useful to reflect on people, resources, or relationships that are supporting you right now?”

Participation should remain voluntary.

Developing Gratitude and Appreciation

People can experiment with practices that help them notice what they value.

These practices are optional and should not be presented as requirements for emotional health or community effectiveness.

Reflection

A person might occasionally reflect on:

• Something that went well
• Someone whose contribution mattered
• A resource that helped
• Something learned from a recent experience
• An aspect of the community they value

Journaling

Some people enjoy writing down experiences, relationships, or resources they appreciate.

A journal might include details such as:

“I appreciated being able to spend time outdoors today.”

Or:

“I appreciated that my coworker took time to explain a difficult problem.”

There is no required number of entries and no need to practice gratitude every day.

Self-Appreciation

People may also benefit from recognizing their own effort, skills, growth, or persistence.

This might involve asking:

• What did I handle well?
• What did I learn?
• What effort did I make?
• What contribution am I proud of?

Self-appreciation should not be confused with avoiding responsibility for mistakes.

Meditation, Prayer, and Other Reflective Practices

Some people connect gratitude with prayer, meditation, spiritual reflection, breathing exercises, time in nature, music, art, or another practice.

Others do not.

These practices should be voluntary in community and organizational settings.

Avoid presenting a particular spiritual practice as universally appropriate or scientifically necessary.

Savoring Positive Experiences

Some people find it useful to spend a little more time noticing an enjoyable or meaningful experience rather than immediately moving on.

This may increase awareness of experiences a person values.

It should not be described as attracting more positive events or guaranteeing better emotional outcomes.

Developing Appreciation in Groups

Groups can create opportunities to recognize contributions without requiring participants to perform gratitude.

For example, a meeting might occasionally include:

• Recognition of completed work
• A brief review of progress
• Appreciation for a partner organization
• Recognition of less visible contributions

Participation in personal gratitude-sharing should be optional.

Some people may prefer to focus directly on the meeting's purpose rather than discuss personal feelings or experiences.

Creating a Welcoming Environment

Appreciation is easier to express in an environment where people feel respected and able to participate.

Consider:

• Accessibility of the room
• Seating
• Interpretation and translation
• Captioning
• Lighting and sound
• Dietary needs
• Water and refreshments
• Transportation
• Childcare
• Remote participation

Do not assume that bright colors, decorations, food, physical greetings, or other forms of welcome will appeal to everyone.

Ask participants what would make the setting comfortable and accessible.

Collective Expressions of Gratitude and Appreciation

Communities around the world have celebrations connected with harvests, ancestors, religious traditions, seasons, historical events, family relationships, and community accomplishments.

These traditions can provide opportunities for collective appreciation, connection, and remembrance.

Avoid treating a national, ethnic, or religious population as though everyone within it celebrates a tradition in the same way.

When describing a cultural celebration:

• Identify the specific community or tradition
• Verify the description with reliable or community-based sources
• Recognize variation within the community
• Avoid presenting a practice as exotic or representative of an entire culture

Community celebrations can also be newly created around local accomplishments, arts, seasons, neighborhood history, service, or other shared interests.

Challenges, Issues, and Questions

Forced Gratitude

Gratitude should not be required.

People should not be pressured to express thanks for:

• Basic rights
• Services to which they are entitled
• Reasonable workplace conditions
• Accessibility accommodations
• Assistance provided after harm caused by an institution

People receiving services should not have to demonstrate gratitude in order to be considered cooperative, deserving, or successful.

Gratitude and Abuse or Harm

Gratitude should never be used to pressure someone to remain in an abusive, exploitative, discriminatory, or unsafe situation.

A person may appreciate some aspects of a relationship or organization while still deciding that boundaries, reporting, advocacy, separation, or other action is necessary.

Appreciation for a person's past contribution does not excuse current harmful behavior.

Gratitude and Avoidance

Focusing only on what is positive can prevent organizations from recognizing serious problems.

A group should be able to appreciate accomplishments while also discussing:

• Failure
• Conflict
• Discrimination
• Poor performance
• Harm
• Dissatisfaction
• Unmet needs

Gratitude and critical evaluation can coexist.

Appreciation Should Not Replace Compensation

Recognition is not payment.

Employees should not be told that meaningful work, community impact, gratitude from participants, or public recognition makes inadequate compensation acceptable.

Community organizations with limited resources may face real budget constraints, but those constraints should be discussed transparently rather than reframed as opportunities for workers to be grateful.

Recognition and Fairness

Appreciation programs can create problems if recognition repeatedly goes to the same visible people.

Consider:

• Who receives recognition?
• What types of work are noticed?
• Who performs less visible labor?
• Are standards for awards or recognition clear?
• Are people being recognized differently because of favoritism or bias?

Gratitude and Power

Gratitude can operate differently when one person controls another person's employment, funding, services, housing, grades, immigration support, or access to resources.

A person in a less powerful position may express gratitude because they believe it is expected or strategically necessary.

Leaders should therefore avoid interpreting expressions of thanks as proof that a program, policy, or relationship is working well.

Use independent evaluation and provide safe ways for people to offer criticism.

Receiving Appreciation

People also differ in how comfortable they are receiving praise.

Some enjoy public recognition. Others may feel embarrassed or prefer a private acknowledgment.

There is no need to teach everyone to enjoy receiving praise.

Respect people's preferences.

Appreciation and Professional Judgment

Positive feedback can influence judgment.

Community builders should avoid treating praise, public enthusiasm, donor approval, or participant gratitude as sufficient evidence that a project is effective.

Evaluation should also examine:

• Outcomes
• Sustainability
• Costs
• Unintended effects
• Community priorities
• Equity

A Lesson About Appreciation and Due Diligence

One contributor describes participating in an international community project in the Niger Delta.

The visiting organization worked with local partners to develop a library. Community enthusiasm and appreciation were strong, and the project initially appeared successful.

Over time, however, serious challenges became clear. The library was difficult to sustain, some resources did not fit the local context, changes in government support affected operations, and the location presented access concerns for surrounding communities.

The larger lesson is important:

Community enthusiasm and gratitude are not substitutes for shared planning, feasibility assessment, long-term sustainability, evaluation, and local control.

Outside organizations should not assume that a positive response proves that their intervention is appropriate.

Projects should be developed through meaningful community leadership and should examine:

• Who identified the need?
• Who controls the project?
• Who will maintain it?
• What resources will be required over time?
• Who will be able to access it?
• What unintended effects could occur?
• What happens if funding or leadership changes?

Cultural Context and Individual Preference

Gratitude and recognition are expressed differently across families, communities, organizations, cultures, and individuals.

Avoid broad claims such as saying that “Asian cultures” or “Indigenous cultures” generally dislike public recognition.

Practices vary within every population.

Instead:

• Ask people how they prefer to be recognized
• Learn relevant organizational and community norms
• Consult community members rather than relying on cultural stereotypes
• Provide options for public and private recognition

Authenticity

Appreciation should be sincere.

Do not invent positive statements because an organization expects everyone to express gratitude.

At the same time, authenticity involves more than whether an expression “feels” sincere to the person giving it.

Consider whether it is:

• Accurate
• Appropriate
• Respectful
• Wanted
• Free from manipulation

Appreciation and Organizational Accountability

Public appreciation can sometimes reveal that a program, employee, community institution, or service is highly valued.

That information may be relevant when organizations make decisions about budgets, staffing, programs, or priorities.

But appreciation alone should not determine those decisions.

Organizations should also consider evidence, community need, equity, effectiveness, financial sustainability, legal responsibilities, and strategic priorities.

Employees should not be encouraged to violate professional, safety, privacy, or ethical requirements simply because a community member appreciates the action.

Questions for Reflection

• Who receives recognition in our organization, and who tends to be overlooked?
• Do people have choices about whether recognition is public or private?
• Are people receiving services ever expected to demonstrate gratitude?
• Are we using appreciation to avoid discussing pay, workload, discrimination, or other problems?
• Can people criticize the organization without appearing “ungrateful”?
• Are cultural assumptions shaping how we recognize people?
• Are we recognizing people for visible accomplishments while overlooking less visible labor?
• Does our recognition accurately reflect shared work?
• Are gratitude activities voluntary?
• Are we evaluating our work independently of the praise we receive?

In Summary

Gratitude and appreciation can be valuable parts of community life.

They can help people recognize contributions, reflect on relationships, celebrate accomplishments, and communicate that someone's work or presence matters.

Their effects are not automatic. Appreciation does not by itself create trust, participation, resilience, innovation, or successful programs.

Effective community work also requires adequate resources, fair procedures, accessibility, evidence, accountability, and meaningful participation.

Gratitude should remain voluntary. People experiencing crisis, grief, discrimination, abuse, poverty, illness, or other hardship should not be pressured to identify something positive before their concerns are taken seriously.

People receiving services do not owe gratitude to organizations for meeting basic needs, honoring rights, providing accommodations, or delivering services they are entitled to receive.

Appreciation should not replace compensation, reasonable workloads, ethical leadership, or organizational change.

Recognition should also respect individual preferences. Some people value public acknowledgment; others prefer private appreciation or little formal recognition.

Cultural context matters, but community builders should avoid predicting people's preferences from broad racial, ethnic, national, religious, or cultural categories.

Gratitude can coexist with criticism. A person can appreciate an organization while identifying serious problems within it. A team can celebrate progress while acknowledging failure. A community can value a program while still asking whether it is effective or equitable.

Finally, gratitude is most constructive when it accompanies rather than replaces community voice and accountability.

The goal is not to create communities in which everyone feels grateful all the time. It is to create communities in which people's contributions are recognized, relationships are respected, criticism remains possible, and appreciation is expressed freely rather than expected.

Contributors

Suzanne B. Hale

Mary Ella Keblusek

Editor

Bill Berkowitz