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Section 5. Learning to be an Ally for People from Diverse Groups and Backgrounds

Tool # 1: Heterosexuality questionnaire

This is the "heterosexuality questionnaire" created by Martin Rochlin, Ph.D. It is frequently used in speaking engagements and sensitivity training by gay groups to illustrate how gay people feel when asked certain questions by sometimes hostile straight audience. When you read these questions, keep in mind that as exaggerated as they sound, these are exact reversals of what we are often asked. They are designed to make you think about your personal prejudices.

Heterosexuality Questionnaire

  • What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
  • When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
  • Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
  • Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
  • Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
  • Heterosexuals have histories of failures in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
  • If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you know you wouldn't prefer that?
  • If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
  • To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
  • Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
  • If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
  • The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
  • Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
  • How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
  • Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
  • How can you enjoy a fully satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex, when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences between you are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
  • Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
  • With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
  • How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation?
  • There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
  • A disproportionate number of criminals, welfare recipients, and other irresponsible or antisocial types are heterosexual. Why would anyone want to hire a heterosexual for a responsible position?
  • Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
  • Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
  • Why do you make a point of attributing heterosexuality to famous people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
  • Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist/counselor to be objective and unbiased? Don't you fear he/she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own leanings?